He was tired of the image the public paints of him that most times it felt like a chore to keep up with. It was no easy task to act nonchalant and indifferent and to always have a snarky remark but he kept on sinking - drowning.
Smirking has become his usual that genuinely smiling hurts him. The loneliness kept gnawing on him- slowly feasting on his soul. It felt like he was living on a studio with the public as the directors and the media as the editors. Even his workplace becomes suffocating at times laced with pressure and envy.
People kept telling him he was living the dream. Voices in his head yell at him at dawn as he lie wide awake, staring at nothing. They kept telling him he should be thankful for the things he has, for the luxury he could afford, and the wretched consequences it entails.
Maybe he's really living the dream - after all, nightmares are dreams too.
But as he struggled with his demons, there came you. Like a moth to a flame, he craved you. At long last, he found someone who sees him for who he is. You accepted all his flaws despite outweighing the goods and never dictated him of who he should be.
No, you didn't let him spread his wings because he didn't have them, nobody does. What you did was help him get back the pieces of him that people cruelly stole. You stood aside, protecting him as he slowly straightened out his body that's been bent for so long. You did not save him. You encouraged him to save his self.
The world is still as cruel as it was yesterday but now, he's found his solace.
I cleaned out the majority of my inbox so hit me up with all your lovely dreams and desires so I can put them it into pretty words and post it up for you ♥♥♥
Check out my Masterlist in my bio to see who I write for some include:
You just wanted to enjoy the brisk summer breeze on the balcony, though instead it seems you’ll simply have to deal with the fact that you weren’t about to get any alone time for a while. You glance over at Minsik who was just sitting right next to you, legs atop yours, scrolling mindlessly through his phone. Making a face at him you turn away and look out at the stars, the clear night sky was calming and beautiful. You were starting to drift off a bit, “Hey...babe..get in the pool.”
You shake some of the tiredness away and drag your legs from under him. “You want me to do what?” You weren’t sure what to make of his sudden and odd request. “Get in the pool real quick.” This time there was a slight whine when he said it, while cute didn’t convince you to get inside the pool. “You realize it’s,” you check around him to the clock in the living room, “11:30 at night right, I thought you had to go in early to the studio tomorrow anyway.” He doesn’t say anything at first, just glances back at his phone and scrolls a bit, before turning it to face you. He was on Instagram looking at the fed from his friends, all of whom were in pools with really attractive women.
Not being able to stop the little giggle that escapes you push his phone back to his chest, “You mean to tell me you want some sort of Instagram picture?” You stand up hands on your hips. “I’m also not even wearing a swimsuit, and what would you even gain from posting that-“ before you could finish you stumble back into the pool, arms flailing out. Splashing backwards, you resurface sputtering up water, and trying to wipe wet hair from your face. “MINSIK WHAT THE HELL!” You shout, splashing around a bit. When you were finally able to open your eyes, a bright flash reblinded you for a moment. “Perfect!” Was all you heard before he jumps in after you and wraps you in his arms quickly. You couldn’t get anything out before he placed his lips on yours in a short kiss, “The prettiest out of any of those other pictures the guys have.” He whispers pulling away. You just looked at him, the smile on his face was so sweet. Pushing him back just a tad, you splash him as hard as you could, laughing when he started sputtering like you did. “Now we’re even!” You giggle.
You jolted awake when a horrid smell filled your nose. Once you were fully awake, you remembered that you had been baking cookies and had put them in the oven. Your feet had been hurting, so you decided to relax and watch some TV but accidentally fell asleep.
Smoke started flooding in from the kitchen and you gasped and ran to the oven. You opened it and screamed, “El fuego!”, upon seeing that the cookies were on fire. Not too sure what to do, you put on oven mitts, hastily pulled out the cookie sheet, and threw it into the sink. “Muy caliente!”
Minsik walked in and asked, “What are you doing that requires yelling in Spanish?” His eyes widened when he saw the fire. “Grab the fire extinguisher!”
“I don’t know where it is!”
“Shit. I don’t either.” Both of you ran around the house until you found the fire extinguisher buried in the linen closet and put out the fire. “What was that even supposed to be?”
“Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies,” you mumbled and set the fire extinguisher on the counter.
“Really? Oatmeal? Neither of us like oatmeal.”
“Yeah, but I got bored.”
“You could have made regular chocolate chip.”
“We needed to get rid of the oatmeal! We don’t use it.”
“It could have been thrown away or donated.”
“We can still donate the cookies.”
“Hell no. You shouldn’t be left alone when cooking or baking.”
“I wasn’t alone. You were here.”
“I was working.”
“And where were you working?”
He cleared his throat and awkwardly looked around. “In the back room...”
“Did you not smell something burning?”
“Fine, I guess we’re both to blame.”
“Whenever I bake or cook, we’ll be in the same room together to make sure nothing happens.”
“Sounds good.” He started picking at one of the burnt cookies and you slapped his hand.
“No, you can’t eat that or you’ll be sick.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s almost cremated!”
“Fair enough… Can you make more cookies?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Do you love me?”
He smiled and hugged around your waist. “Of course I do. I love you more than anything else in this world.”
“Even more than music?” You nestled your face into his neck and laid your hands on his chest.
“I love you and music, but in different aspects.”
“I guess I can’t really argue about that. What kind of cookies do you want?”
“The best kind: chocolate chip.”
“Okay, then I’ll get started. You can sit in the living room and I’ll be in there when they’re in the oven.”
He nodded and kissed your forehead, lazily going into the living room. You giggled to yourself when you heard him flop onto the couch and groan, and you got started on the new batch.
A/N: I decided to make the ‘YouTube Life’ scenario into a mini-series where the girlfriend (reader) is a blooming YouTuber and each scenario will include her doing different YouTube videos with Dean. Please don’t let this die out.
You laid your makeup and makeup tools out on a table and giggled excitedly. After practically harassing him for months, Dean finally agreed to let you do a video where you try to put makeup on him. Admittedly, you weren’t a makeup artist but you considered yourself to be fairly decent. He wore makeup, but it was never much, only extending to BB cream, filling in his eyebrows, and occasionally some taupe brown eyeshadow.
You sat down next to him in a chair and turned on the camera. “Hey, guys, and welcome to today’s video! Today, I’m going to be putting makeup on Dean. I have all that I need laying out in front of me. Let’s hope this goes well, because I had to beg him to allow this.”
Turning to face him, you saw that he had been looking at you and smiling creepily for who-knows-how-long. “Dean-! You know what, we’re going with it. I refuse to refilm this.” He chuckled and pecked your lips, obviously amused by his frustrated girlfriend.
“So what’s first?”
“The primer.” You squirted a pea-sized amount onto your fingertips and began smoothing it into his skin. “Wait, did you moisturize before this?”
“No, was I supposed to?”
“It’s too late. You should be fine.” You grabbed his BB cream (because what was the point in using your foundation if he already had something and had no blemishes?) and began dabbing it into his skin with a makeup sponge.
“What is this little motion called?”
“Dabbing.”
“Dabbing? That sounds pretty cringeworthy.”
“If you dab, I’m breaking up with you.” Both of you laughed and you set the base with some powder. He turned his head and sneezed into the bend of his elbow, causing you to jump and almost spill powder everywhere. “Come on, man,” you whined and grabbed an eyeshadow palette and brushes. You opened the palette and began setting the eyes with a pale beige, then the realization hit you. “Dean, did you... did you pretend sneeze just to dab?”
“What?” He looked confused, but his eyes showed humor.
“Dean, come on. Don’t make this video cringeworthy.” He chuckled and closed his eyes for you to continue with the eyeshadow. You stuck with various shades of brown and applied a gold shimmery shade to the center of his lid.
“Are you going to take me out to dinner after this?”
You started doing his eyeliner with a chocolate brown gel and decided to wing it out. “Sure.”
“Sick. Where are we going?”
“McDonald’s drive-thru.”
You had just started smoking out some light brown shadow on his lower lid when he pulled away and gave you a look of shock. “What?! But I thought I was pretty.”
“You’re very pretty, so bring that pretty face back here.”
“Then why won’t you take me out to a high-class restaurant?” He brought his face back and you applied false lashes and mascara.
“McDonald’s is high-class.” You filled in his eyebrows with his brow pencil and grabbed a palette containing contour and highlight. You very lightly and carefully defined his cheekbones, nose, jawline, and forehead, and popped some highlight on the peeks of his cheekbones and tip of his nose. He looked prettier than you at the moment and you felt slightly intimidated. You applied a rose pink lipliner and lipstick to his lips and announced, “Okay, it’s done!” You handed him a handheld mirror and he looked at himself at every angle. “What do you think?”
“I’d do me.”
“Of course you would. Thank you so much for watching!” You turned off the camera and started cleaning up. “Alright, you can take off the makeup.”
“Nah, I’m kind of feeling this. I would never do it and it’s far too time consuming, but I look great.” He started helping you clean up and you broke out in laughter.
“To think you were the one putting this off for so long.”
The sound of keys jingling in the front door woke you from your sleep. Of course, you’d fallen asleep in the living room again. As quick as you could you wiped the sleep from your eyes and tried to clean up the papers that had fallen from your lap and onto the floor. There was still a struggle at the door when you were finished so you got up quickly and opened it from the inside.
“Hey,” you said quietly pulling the door open for him. He nodded in reply.
You helped him remove the bags that lined his arms as he held onto your daughter while she slept against his shoulder. You placed several small kisses against her hands and cheek before he walked her back into her bedroom to tuck her in.
“It’s late, shouldn’t you be asleep?” He asked finding you in the kitchen as you waited for the tea kettle to go off.
“Tea?” You asked avoiding the question.
“Yes, please.” He said leaning against the counter. The kitchen was so small that it didn’t matter where you stood, he was always going to be within a touching distance. “Did you fall asleep while you were working again? You have to take care of yourself since I’m not here to make sure you are.”
“I’m fine.” You said defiantly and turned to the stove as the kettle began its song.
“I worry about you. Kira…Kira said you’ve been crying a lot.
“Kira shouldn’t be saying things like that to you anymore, it’s not your problem.” You slid a mug across the short distance between the two of you.
“It could be, if you’d just let me back in.” He said quietly.
“Kiseok…”
“I know, I’m sorry.” He responded quickly, “Do you need anything? Money?”
Your face snapped towards his quickly, angrily, “I do just fine.”
He sighed, defeated. “I’m not offering as a handout. You do so much for our family. It’s the least I could do to remove any money related stress. That’s all I meant.”
The two of you stood quietly. You looked down at your feet, your toes inches from his. It was always easier when he wasn’t around for awhile. When he had a tour or a concert and couldn’t make his weekend. It made you feel terrible because it meant that Kira missed out, but seeing him just reminded you too much.
It reminded you of when the two of you first met. It reminded you of how nervous he looked when he kissed you for the first time. You remembered being shook by the man you’d seen as nothing but confident look remotely concerned about rejection. Seeing him reminded you of the day you moved in together, arguing about where things should go, extra irritated from exhaustion and heat. He reminded you of the angry makeup sex you shared all over your messy, box filled home.
He reminded you of the birthday dinner you’d had when he asked you to marry him. He reminded you of the first few years after the wedding, just the two of you. You went with him to so many new places, had so many new experiences those years.
Seeing Kiseok made you think about the moment you realized you were pregnant. It reminded you of how diligent he was during the pregnancy. He reminded you of how good he was with Kira. How much he loved her.
He also reminded you of the arguments. You’d struggled so much. Your first year with a new baby and Kiseok was always away at work or on tour. You fought so often, worse than you ever had before. Then she turned two and the fighting stopped even though the anger was still there. You were just tired. That’s when you felt your relationship dying. You knew fighting was better than having given up but you didn’t have the energy anymore.
Then when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, he confessed to the cheating. He promised it was once. That he would never do it again. It was an accident. She meant nothing. He let the conflict get the best of him. That’s when you separated. That’s when this became your life.
You pushed your foot slightly forward and rubbed your toe against the side of his heel. He rubbed his foot against yours and after a moment of silence he held out his hand to you. You grabbed his hand and he pulled you into his body, taking your breath away. He pressed his lips against your neck and shoulder, breathing you in. Your breath came out in heavy pants. It felt so good to be touched that it hurt.
He kissed across the tops of your breasts and back up your neck and your nails dug into his shoulders. He kissed along your cheeks and your jaw. He kissed your ears and your eyelids and your nose. You only stopped him when he went for your lips. You placed your fingers in front of his mouth. If he kissed you for real, it would be over, you would fall back into him.
“Baby, please.” He begged, forehead pressed against yours, “I will do anything. I just need you back. I hate my life when you’re not in it.”
He dropped his head to your chest and cried. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and comforted him as best you could through your own tears. “We have to see a counselor.” You said after a few minutes.
He lifted his head, hope shining in his eyes. “Of course.”
“You need to be around more.”
“Everyday.” He promised without hesitation.
“I need you to promise me…” you said finally. Your last condition.
He didn’t need to ask what the promise was that you needed. He lifted his palms to your cheeks and looked you dead in the eye. “I will never, ever hurt you like again. I swear on everything. My life, our family, all of it. Never again.”
You wiped the tears off of his cheeks and whispered “I love you.”
He rested his head against your shoulder and sobbed. You gently kissed the top of his head. You’d remember this. You’d remember the way he said he loved you. The sincerity. He’d remember how much he had hurt you and how much he had hurt as a consequence and he would, as he would continue to promise, never hurt you again.
“Hey, I'm going out with the crew. Do you wanna come with?” Kiseok peeked his head around the corner to see you. Knowing him, saying no won't get you anywhere, so you agree. You don't dress up much, not that you didn't want to, you simply didn't have the right “club attire”. So you settled for a crop top and ripped shorts, Kiseok had left already to meet up with Jay and the guys, leaving you to go alone. Times like this made you question why you were still even in a relationship with him. Shaking those thoughts out of your head you make your way to the Octagon club. You barely made it all the way in the club before you wanted to go back home. The smell of cigarette smoke and booze giving you a slight headache, not to mention the loud and heavy base music echoing throughout the club. You look over to the VIP section and see Kiseok, Jay, and Chacha sitting there drinking and laughing. You walk over and everyone greets you, you could already tell how the night was gonna go.
“Don't you look...nice.” Jay chuckles at you causing the others to laugh with him. You turn away feeling your face heat up and look at Kiseok, finding him staring at your chest, you decide to sit down. Kiseok drags you closer to him and wraps his arm around you, his hand touching your exposed stomach. You daydream as they laugh and chat, not paying any of them attention. Suddenly Kiseok stands up, “I'm going to get more drinks guys.” The others shout what they want and he disappears into the crowd of drunk bodies to the bar. You were developing a headache from everything and just wanted to leave at this point. You were thinking of a good excuse to tell Kiseok, when you feel someone's hand sliding up your thigh. You swat at it and turn your head in the direction of that person finding Jay way too close for comfort. He smirks at you and puts his hand back, rubbing up and down your thigh. “Could you please stop touching me, I'm uncomfortable.” You grit your teeth and shove his hand aside again. Jay laughs, you get up and rush out of VIP and leave the club. Taking a deep breath of fresh air you start walking to where you can hail a cab. Finally grabbing a cab to take you home, your phone vibrates in your pocket.
You groan, knowing it's from Kiseok asking where you went. The thought of ignoring it floated around in your mind before you gave in to the incessant vibration. “Oppa, I'm on my way home don't worry.” You sweetly say into the phone before he could say something. “I would ask the address but I know where Kiseok lives.” You can basically hear the smirk in his voice. Glancing at the caller ID confirms that the phone on the other end is Kiseok's. “Why do you have his phone Jaebum?” Annoyance seeping into your tone. In the background you could hear Kiseok's laughter among other voices. “Put Kiseok oppa on the phone.” The cab pulls to a stop and you pay for your ride and get out. “Ah, ~, you don't want to talk to me. Kiseok says you love dirty talk, isn't that right?” Your mouth drops open to deny it but you hear kiseok confirming in the background. Jay continues to tell you everything he knows about your sexual tastes, but he was just white noise in your ear. The fact that kiseok went and told anyone this baffled you. You hang up, not wanting to hear his voice any longer and slowly make your way into your house.
