Today I managed to do some Actual Adulting, specifically actually finishing getting my CV up to date (CVs are nightmares), so I decided to reward myself by finally polishing this up and posting it! I Can Have A Little Fic-Posting Serotonin, As A Treat. I’ve had the almost-ready draft of this sitting around for months, after all
In Leaves No Step Had Trodden Black
The halls of Edelia echo with the footsteps of a soulweaver on a mission.
Even one single choice can change the path down which a timeline winds.
In the near-immediate aftermath of the weaving challenge that went catastrophically wrong, a young Tomix Danao has an idea about what to do moving forwards.
(AO3 link in a reblog)
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The halls of Edelia echo with the footsteps of a soulweaver on a mission.
And the hushed voice of a very aggravated Elemental Spirit.
“This is a bad idea! A terrible idea! You’re still recovering, you should be in bed!”
“I’m okay, Aspar.” Tomix says, smiling up at his soulally. A thrill of joy runs through him at the thought, just as it has every time he’s thought of it since waking – his soulally! He has a soulally! The sheer excitement of remembering that is enough to keep his mind off of how much his everything aches. Aspar probably does have a point about resting but he’s not sure he could sleep if he tried.
“It’s been less than a full day since you almost got your soul ripped out of you!” Aspar continues in a whisper-yell, glancing furtively at the doorways of the classrooms they pass. “You shouldn’t be awake yet! Let alone able to walk!”
Tomix winces and tries harder to ignore the fact that every part of him, body and soul, aches. Less than a full day since he ruined his own life in an act of incredible foolishness would be more accurate. Aspar being too kind to say it doesn’t make it less true. Tomix is pretty sure that it’s impossibly lucky that he has even been allowed into Edelia to do what he’s come to do. He can’t afford to waste the chance.
“I need to do this.”
“No, you don’t.” Aspar says, crossing his arms and giving him a mulish look. “Tomix, my friend, your heart does you credit but he hurt you. He wanted to hurt you. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
A pang of guilt settles in Tomix’s stomach, for all he doesn’t slow his stride. He doesn’t want to worry Aspar. Aspar saved his life. He doesn’t even have any hesitations or regrets about being bonded to a weaver who will never get to finish his training, a weaver who used forbidden magick and released evils back into the world. Aspar has already been so good to him, so kind, so willing to give him his support. Surely the fact that he won’t support this decision must mean something?
The doubt claws at him so suddenly that his breath catches and he stumbles over his own feet.
Aspar catches him by the back of his collar and pulls him back upright.
Aspar is always going to catch him. He’s starting to understand that. Aspar is kindness and they are bonded. Tomix is always going to be able to rely on his kindness, every day from here onwards.
That thought makes up his mind for him, chasing away the doubt.
He takes a few deep breaths and rubs his palms against his thighs while he regains his balance. The metal of the spiritlooms stops the motion from doing anything about the itch in his palms but the motion is, at least, still grounding. After a quick moment to appreciate the many reasons to be thankful that teachers and students alike are occupied with classes – avoiding awkward stares, avoiding potential confrontations, not being seen tripping over his own feet – he resumes his stride with purpose.
(He doesn’t think about the fact that it’s been less than a full day since his life all but ended and yet life in Edelia goes on, like nothing happened at all.)
(He doesn’t think about blood red hair and corpse-pale skin and an unmoving body and a world that keeps turning, nonetheless.)
(He doesn’t.)
“It’s okay, Aspar,” he tells his soulally, resolve firm “You don’t need to worry.”
Aspar so clearly cares and worries but he’s also new. Less than a full day, as he pointed out himself. He has only seen the aftermath of one foolish dare that got out of hand. That’s hardly enough to make such a firm judgment from. Tomix has shared classes and mealtimes and the community of the school for years. It may be acquaintanceship at best but… Tomix knows the truth of the situation more than Aspar has yet had the chance to.
Khvorost is loud and brash and arrogant. He’s always in some kind of trouble – rumours would have it that he spends more time in detention than he does in class and if that were true, Tomix would give him tips on not getting caught – and he comes up with outrageous ideas and truly stupid dares.
But he doesn’t hurt people. Not on purpose.
Tomix saw his face, in that instant when everything went wrong. He’d seen his own terror reflected.
Tomix will always be able to rely on Aspar’s kindness.
But who will be kind to Khvorost?
– –
The dorm room where Khvorost lives is in a wing Tomix hasn’t been to before. He recites the directions he was given to himself as he walks and finds himself standing outside a door which is exactly identical to the dozens of others lining both sides of the hallway.
His limbs shake. Aspar’s presence vanished from his side a few hallways back. He is still nearby, of course, he must be, but refusing to accompany him to the actual door is almost a clearer disapproval than his words were.
Tomix breathes. In and out. He needs to do this. He stills his trembling body. It’s the right thing to do. A kind thing to do, he hopes.
He raises his hand and knocks.
There’s a muffled sound from the other side that might be a response, followed by an almost deafening silence. Just as Tomix raises his hand to knock again, the door opens, leaving his hand hanging in mid-air.
Khvorost looks awful. His hair is a tangled mess and his eyes are red and puffy, underscored by deep, dark bags. Over his shoulder, Tomix can see a stripped bed with a half-packed rucksack lying open on it.
“Oh.” Khvorost says. His voice is scratchy. “It’s you. Uh. Tomix, right?”
He looks uncomfortable. Tomix can’t exactly blame him – he feels uncomfortable when he catches his own reflection, sees the bone-white hair and acrid yellow eyes. He hardly expects anyone else to be comfortable with the sight.
“Yeah.” He confirms. Then, belatedly “Hello.”
Khvorost narrows his eyes, the discomfort morphing immediately to suspicion.
“What do you want?”
Tomix abruptly realises he doesn’t actually have a plan for how to do this. His mind races–
“Come with me!” he blurts.
Almost as soon as the words have left his mouth, he groans and drops his face into his hands. His forehead makes a dull clunk when it meets the metal and he pulls back up with a grimace and the beginnings of a headache. The scar on the bridge of his nose stings.
Khvorost is making a face at him. Tomix can’t tell what kind of face it is. He suspects it’s not a good one.
“I…” he tries again.
“What,” Khvorost says, the flatness of his voice contrasting with the wideness of his eyes “is happening right now?”
Tomix takes a deep breath in, then exhales slowly. He tucks one hand close to his side and rubs at his shoulder with the other.
“I’m going after the Corrupted Elemental Spirits,” he says, doing his best to look Khvorost in the face. “Do you want– Would– Will you come with me?”
Khvorost stares at him just long enough for Tomix to start to feel panic. He’s messed the whole thing up. He went so quickly from deciding to do this to doing it that he did everything wrong. He never even stopped to think about the possibility of Khvorost saying no. The years ahead suddenly seem to yawn emptily and with loneliness, even knowing Aspar will be by his side always.
“You… want me to come with you,” Khvorost says, which isn’t a no, which means there’s hope “on some quest to track down the Seven Corrupted Elemental Spirits?”
“And banish them.” Tomix supplies, eagerly. He’d thought that part was obvious.
Khvorost slumps sideways to lean against the doorframe, his eyes never leaving Tomix.
“A quest to track down and banish the Seven Corrupted Elemental Spirits,” he repeats “and you want me to come with you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Because after what happened, I don’t want you to be alone is what Tomix thinks.
“Because after what happened, they’re kind of your responsibility too?” is what comes out of his mouth.
They lapse back into silence. Khvorost stares at him for a long moment, during which Tomix realises that he just said a very, very stupid thing and kind of wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Khvorost tips his head back and laughs.
“Well, you’ve got me there!” he says, a familiar smirk settling into place on his face. It looks genuine. It feels like the first sign of actual life he shown since opening the door. “Sure, why not. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do now that–” he expression darkens and shutters, then the smirk returns in force, less genuine this time “So, are we leaving now or do I have time to finish packing away all my worldly possessions?”
Tension floods out of Tomix, the rush of relief so powerful that it almost knocks him over. He wonders if Aspar felt it through their bond, if he’s watching from near enough to know what it means.
“I’m still recovering,” he replies, feeling a smile start to form “But you could stay with us in Mortem until we’re ready?”
Khvorost’s eyes go wide again and, for a moment, he almost looks vulnerable. Then it’s wiped away, the only hint it was ever there a glint in his eyes that joins the smirk.
“That’ll work,” he says, cavalierly and shrugging. “I guess I can hang around until you’re up to keeping up.”
Tomix’s smile makes the scar on his nose itch.
“I’m glad,” he says. Then, reaching out to brace one hand against the opposite side of the doorframe to the one Khvorost is leaning on “Can I come in and sit down while you finish packing? I think my legs are about to give out.”
Khvorost still following Edelian law is both just. Very funny and very sad. On one hand, it's hilarious because he'll cheerfully admit that he's a criminal, he calls himself a smuggler right out the gate. He doesn't hide the fact that he's a Chaosweaver (well, "Chaosweaver"), there's nothing stopping him from fighting, especially when he lives so dangerously.
On the other hand, it's sad.
He grew up in Edelia. He grew up surrounded by weavers, and then he was kicked out, and he was scared - all he had was Ruuma. His dialogue suggests that his actions are what made Ruuma corrupted. He said it himself - he did what he had to to survive, taught himself.
And yet he still clings to the old rules. He still is genuinely shocked when you say he could've fought. He clearly has fought in the past (he said that Ruuma was busy, after all, meaning he's fought with Ruuma), but fighting with weaving more than absolutely necessary? He's appalled (granted, it could've been an excuse, but it doesn't feel like it in the context. He's more than happy to admit that he thought you had it, anyways).
And like. You can see why. He talks about life after Edelia as just doing what he has to to survive, and helping people, but life at Edelia was good. Boring, but good.
It really feels like he just. He's got a mask on, and he lets it slip in Khvorost (the quest), and you get to see how remorseful he is. How much pain he's seen, and tried to help however he could.
I'm glad he and Belle got to Ravenloss, though. After the loss of Tomix, after Riadne and Izaac said that they were raising baby Tomix on the surface, Ravenloss needs some new heroes.
Reading https://theloverofdragons.tumblr.com/post/650622994752913408/meet-aegis-2-electric-boogaloo made me realize we weren’t there then, when Aspar was revealed to be Envy, that first bit, around the time Tomix banished Lust.
Thanks, Jaania.
For freezing us in a block of ice, resulting in us not being to comfort a friend when they really needed it. (sarcasm, no actual gratitude intended)
Well, more accurately, the part ( https://twitter.com/Eclissy/status/1388701703080345600 )
Thanks to that, I now wonder. In Tomix Lives aus, how would Khvorost interact with Tomix,
Seeing as the fact that:
Thanks to Khvorost helping us escape he’s a wanted man. Wanted by the Magisterum. Like, probably fatally wanted. Dead or alive (to be fed to the Shapeless if caught alive)
So Khovorost moves into Ravenloss. Well, that’s awkward.
Re: Tomix's reaction to Khvorost, something I've thought about a lot is the fact that when we learn Tomix's backstory, Tomix just says he accepted "a very stupid challenge" and then ASPAR jumps in to say "from a boy who wanted only to harm you" and make a big deal if said boy now being "buried in obscurity" and "dead to history" so I think that being able to recognise that They Were Both Just Kids and forgive Khvorost would be kinda a part of healing for Tomix, with rejecting Aspar's narrative?
YEAH!!! YOU!! YOU GET IT!!! HOW MUCH DID TOMIX HAVE TO UNLEARN? how many times did he catch aspar's words coming out of his mouth or running through his head? How many times did he have to tell himself this is not true, it has never been true, this is just something else aspar left me with, I cannot keep thinking and living this way.
also i think forgiving khvorost for Having Been A Dumbass Kid would help tomix recognize that HE TOO was just a kid that made a stupid mistake, and he didn't deserve to wander the world for 13 years trying to fix it. no matter what anyone else says
“The name’s Khvorost. People have called me many things but for today, I’m a Chaosweaver with a mission. I don’t suppose such a capable hero as yourself would be willing to offer some aid?” | “Hello, friend. I am Tomix, a Soulweaver. Do you need some help to get out of this city?”
(click for full size)
I was idly thinking about the tragedy of how Tomix and Khvorost were both just kids, how it was just reckless kids too young to know any better and then the consequences ended up defining the courses of their lives...
And then I thought, how easily could things have gone the other way around? How easily could those paths have been mirrored, those circumstances different?
And then. Well. Naturally that meant Roleswap AU time
(Some design notes under the cut)
AU Tomix’s hair is a hybrid of Canon Book 1 Tomix’s hair and Book 3 Tomix’s hair and that is entirely to give me an excuse to avoid drawing his ears, I’m not even going to pretend otherwise, I attempted ears and immediately went “okay I’m messing with his hair instead”
Likewise, while AU Khvorost’s coat draws heavily on his canon design, it has some differences. A couple of elements were just me simplifying minor details for ease of drawing but the decision to give it sleeves is actually influenced by the fact that Tomix’s coat originally had sleeves and then was sleeveless in Book 3!
AU Tomix’s spiritlooms were based off of Katia’s! We never saw any spiritlooms that were Tomix’s, just Zelleraneish’s, so I based them off the closest thing we have - the spiritlooms of a family member who isn’t the Headmaster
AU Tomix has a coat bc, like, the whole reason this AU happened was bc Parallels and both Tomix and Khvorost wear longcoats in canon so AU Tomix maintains A Coat. It looks like the canon one bc yes that one was woven under Specific Circumstances but also Tomix wove it so I assume it probably looks like something he would weave? Therefore AU Tomix wove a similar coat under different circumstances
AU Tomix has the Book 1 sash belt thing instead of the Book 3 belts bc... I find it more fun to draw. And also looked at the wrong reference while I was drawing and then couldn’t be bothered changing it XD
Khvorost I love your hair but it is a NIGHTMARE to draw
Gave Khvorost the nose scar bc Weaving Accident but also kept his two canon scars! I’m not that great at drawing scars, though XP Put the nose scar at a slight angle so that it wasn’t identical to Tomix’s
