#kid quote

[deer-knight]

"when you die, I'm gonna take your bones out of your body and throw them at the people who didn't like you." - my 7yr old student

the alternative, they said, was that they would give my body to a deer so I could be "recarbonated" into a deer.

[foreverwayward]

My 11 year old son came home today to say, “someone at school said he doesn’t hate ‘gay people’, he just doesn’t like them. So, I looked at him and told him, ‘well I don’t hate you, I just don’t like you’.”

Why do I all of a sudden have hope for this world?

[poweredbycoffeeandwine]

Saturday Morning

(8 year old daughter is lounging on the couch, taking all the space, watching Wreck it Ralph)

Me: Child, go put on some pants.

8 y.o.: No.

Me: Why?

8 y.o.: Pants were created by corporate turds.

Me:

Also me:

[things-kids-say-blog]

Desiree, 5: My grandma is fat AND skinny!

Me: How does that work?

Desiree: Her neck jiggles! And her legs jiggle!

Me: O.O

Desiree: And her arms jiggle! And her hair jiggles!

Me: Everybody's hair jiggles! See, my hair definitely jiggles.

Desiree: And her butt jiggles!

Me: Just wait until you're a grandma! All your stuff will be jiggling too!

Desiree: NOOOOOO!

[deer-knight]

me, to the kids i worked with last week: welcome to medieval camp everyone! can anyone think of any fun medieval activities we might do here at camp this week?

kid: well, they used to do this thing where they would take your body and make it into four pieces and i think it was called quartering.

me: that’s called torture! we will not in fact be participating in torture this week! ...anyone else?

[deer-knight]

i like villains 'cause they do cool stuff. also they dress awesome.

one of my 8yr old students

[deer-knight]

It doesn't kill you...it just renders you dead.

one of my 7yr old students

[deer-knight]

7yr old kid at work: you know where the wind comes from?

me: hm, tell me.

kid: well, it comes from the wind.

me: ah, that makes sense.