and it starts 05032017
yesterday marked the start of the new chapter in my life.
since my brother’s death, i’ve been inquiring within trying to figure out what it is i’m supposed to do on this planet. in my life all of the “careers’ i seen myself possibly doing all revolved around helping people directly in some way shape or form. these past five or six years i’ve run from that calling. i’m not sure why.
one day while in meditation, i got a visit from myself. my future self. she told me what it is that i must do. she’s somewhere out there healing people, and so my journey begins. my journey to become a healer.
i’ve been searching for pathways to enter, and what’s calling to me the most right now is massage school. from there who knows where i’m going to end up. i’m welcoming everything with wide open arms.
last week, i had the worst eczema outbreak i’ve ever had. (i’m totally blaming it on the bag of doritos i ate in one sitting, smh) so, i got it really bad on my back, neck, arms, and my breasts. it got to the point where it was just so painful and i didn’t know what to do. i went to two urgent cares, they both prescribed some type of steroid. it was a mess.
however, yesterday i visited a friend who’s an amazing holistic healer. i talked with her about my habits, and what’s been on my mind. she spit some traditional chinese medicine philosophy about energy and organs and meridians and stuff. it was great.
what i walked away with is that a reason why my eczema got worse is because grief is expressed through the skin. i haven’t really been dealing with my feelings about my brother’s death. and it all changes now. besides, in order to heal other folks i have to heal myself first.
i vow to be fully transparent. i’m committing myself to this transition fully and ready to just be a new. the first step i took in healing myself was finally talking to mom about my love. months earlier my little bro let her know that i have a girlfriend but we never talked about it. yesterday we had the talk. it actually went as i expected it to go.
it’s quite liberating. i won’t go into the specifics of what was said, but i was finally able to say things that i wanted to say for a while. of course she doesn’t agree with my lifestyle but that’s totally fine. i’m okay with that.