Nights are longer these past few days. And majority of the time is that I think of you. I miss you. So much. But I have to be strong for myself. I cry less tears but the intensity of the pain is still the same. The excruciating pain and heartache is still there. I stopped talking to you because I wanted to stop the hatred that's building up inside me. I still want to love you. But I need time and space love you less without having to hate you. Sana binabasa mo blogs ko. :( These long nights have been going around for about 5 days already. I try to entertain myself to sleep which apparently doesn't work at all. And then, I try to distract myself from thinking of you by talking to my bff or some other guys. But right before I sleep, you'll pop into my head again. Suddenly, I'm not sleepy again. Then the killer thoughts will come rushing into my mind like wildfire. Tears will run down my face, sometimes think about PM'ing you and tell you how much I miss you. And the thoughts will just keep going until I come to the point where I realize that there's nothing I can do to change our situation. Then I'd ask myself, "Do I still want to change the situation? Do I still want you back?" Well, do I? No. Not anymore at least. I think it will take a great deal of effort to bring back what we used to have. I remember you, saying, "Why read the same book if you already know the ending?" At this point, I have already accepted that we just couldn't be together. Ever. Then, I'd back all the drama up with some happy thoughts that would put me to sleep. So why can't I just think of the happy thoughts before you even pop into my head. Believe me. I try so hard not to think of you. But idk. You just do. Maybe it's not the happy thoughts that put me to sleep. The killer thoughts tires my brain down that it just puts me to sleep. Idk. But I really hope I would be over you soon. So even the nights are still longer, it don't be as depressing as it is now.
