#killytalks

[basilone]

hey, this just in: if you tag any of my sets with a bad opinion on the things I love, you're going on my blocklist for all eternity. I didn't sit through hours of screencapping and Photoshop work just to see reblogs with tags like "grinding my way through this show", "it's not that good", "too bad the show was meh", or any variant thereof. have some fucking decorum and keep your feelings to yourself.

[basilone]

tag game - search up: animal, place, plant, character, season, hobby, color, crystal, food on pinterest and select the first image for each !

ty for the tag @emmaannaelisabeth! 😊 Tagging @mercurygray @shoshiwrites @junojelli @aloveforjaneausten @moghraidhs

Here's mine (I am very pleased with these):

[basilone]

Having a bit of a struggle with the current chapter, which does not hit the correct flow that makes it easy to move to the next scenes. Another rewrite of this one, then! It is good to get to trial-and-error it on my own without having published the work so far.

That said, I am itching to write something that is publishable. 😂 It will likely have to wait until my vacation, though!

How is everyone else doing? Any summer plans?

[basilone]

I'm not keeping up with much of anything here, guys, even though I'd very much like to. Real life's been busy and I kinda needed to rewire with a different fandom for a bit. 💙

[basilone]

I was going to start this post off with "I haven't written anything in months". Only, well, that's not quite true. I have written things. I have several ounces of dialogue blended in with descriptions of touch. I have loose snippets of various alternate universes, which all seem to explore different angles of a particular relationship. I have thoughts and ideas aplenty, scattered across several Discord channels and private chats, and some of them might even approximate a part of a scene.

I have written things. I just haven't written anything that feels like it truly fits any of my fic projects. The paralysis of not knowing where to start, of being scared to start work on any of these three, of feeling like time is limited so I need to create something that can be shared in that time I've got while ultimately not creating anything of note... It's an ongoing struggle. The feeling of having written a "wrong" version of a story before and wanting its rewrite to be better. The feeling of wanting to do right by another story, or wanting to grasp a character that eludes me even when their canon voice is clear as day. The perfectionism that's on spincycle, really, and is louder than the little spark in the back of my head that says I'll do just fine.

I'm posting this mainly because I can't see the forest for the trees at this point, and I think it's not a feeling exclusive to just me. I don't know what fixes it. I just need to say out loud that this is a problem right now.

[basilone]

Finally picked chapter three back up and wrapped up a whole scene, which is great progress even though the scene itself is small. 😊Writing fic isn't some race to the finish, and I'd rather do this properly than have it turn into something I won't like down the road.

(Though, I gotta admit, the urge to write something else that's quick and easy to share... it's growing. 😂)

[basilone]

So, last stretch of the year. This is a superbusy time for me, which means all my cilinder-firing is done at work and not so much in fandom.

I was thinking earlier about how so much of that feels like it is something I keep measuring: how much did I write, how much did I create, how much did I do what seems like a waste of time, how much did I give back, how much did I start but not finish... There is an ongoing repetitive cycle that says that I am not quite meeting my own skyhigh expectations while also being aware that I would not expect anyone else to meet those. And rather than calling it creative burnout, I think I might just dub it perfectionist burnout.

There is a lot of juggling going on right now with that, amid arguably the busiest time of year. I am trying to strike some form of balance for myself with that. But, most of all, I am trying to be a little kinder to myself.

[basilone]

Part of me wants to redo the OC masterlist and another part of me is going "girl you've got about 30 OCs for MotA alone how are you even serious about a masterlist right now", lol. 😂 I was apparently left unsupervised last year, what can I say...