I’ve Got Something to Say
Summary: Blaine meant to confess what he had felt when Kurt sang Blackbird the day Pavarotti died - but he never did. And now it seems like Kurt has moved on, leaving Blaine confused and heartbroken.
Written for the Klaine Valentines Challenge 2017. Song prompt: Be My Forever.
Part of this is loosely based on this really cute Nestlé short film from the Philippines. And not to head into a political debate or anything but just to clarify - I don’t mean to promote Nestlé in any way as I don’t support the company’s strategies (if you want to know why not, click here). And now let’s continue with some lovey-dovey Valentine’s friends-to-lovers fic lol.
beta’ed by @a-simple-rainbow as always - you’re the Obama to my Biden, girl!
Rating: PG
Read on AO3
Blaine meant to confess what he had felt when Kurt sang Blackbird the day Pavarotti died, he really did. He even had a speech prepared for the occasion. But one thing led to another, and Blaine never got to say what was on his mind.
It wasn’t for lack of trying. His duet idea backfired spectacularly. While every Warbler agreed that he should sing a duet with Kurt, Blaine wasn’t prepared for the difficulty of song selections. The council rejected all of his more romantic suggestions after they somehow got word of the New Directions’ plan to play the underdog card and came up with a new plan that would follow suite. New selections were announced quickly, and instead of the lovey-dovey duet Blaine had hoped for, he found himself practicing Mika and Ariana Grande’s Popular with Kurt, who was so happy about the song choice (“It’s Mika and Wicked-inspired, this is absolutely fantastic, oh my god!”) that Blaine wouldn’t even openly complain to him.
Other than rehearsal, Kurt spent all his free time decorating the casket for Pavarotti’s funeral. Blaine tried to talk to him a few times but it always ended with them deciding to rehearse some more, and really, has anyone ever confessed their crush while singing about getting their heads dunked into toilets and not being a model?
Blaine could have predicted the outcome – the New Directions won fair and square – but he doesn’t even really care about going to Nationals anymore. He’d rather go on dates with Kurt, maybe hold his hand and listen to him ramble about things that excite him so that his amazingly blue eyes will sparkle the way Blaine’s only recently started to seriously notice but has come to adore already.
But there are no dates. Instead, Kurt moves back to Lima when the situation at McKinley eases up and leaves Blaine at Dalton, aching heart and all. The Warblers’ spontaneously organized flash mob to see Kurt off is a success but it doesn’t quite deliver the message that Blaine is going to miss more than just his best friend. He’s going to miss Kurt, and not just on a platonic basis.
It’s complicated to say the least. Blaine’s in a difficult position – he’s gone from Kurt’s rescue to his friend to his best friend and then to unrequited crush. That last part Blaine is especially bitter about because he stupidly just didn’t see in Kurt what Kurt saw in him at first, and now that he’s starting to understand, Blaine is getting the worrying feeling that Kurt might not be as into him as he was a few weeks ago. He’s certainly a lot more upfront now whenever Blaine does something that bugs him. That should be a good thing – Blaine wouldn’t want Kurt to feel uncomfortable to speak his mind around him – but more than anything, it makes Blaine wonder if Kurt has moved on.
He has to do something – anything – so that Kurt will see he’s finally reciprocating his feelings.
Better late than never, right?
-
“Late” turns out to be difficult, still.
Blaine’s lost count of how many times he’s tried to ask Kurt out now. Tentatively, but still obvious enough – asking him to get coffee and paying for Kurt’s orders, getting tickets to showings of old movies or local shows and surprising Kurt with them, inviting him over for movie nights at Dalton with his laptop placed just right on the bed so that there is enough space to potentially cuddle on the bed yet keep the appropriate amount of space between them.
Kurt always says yes, smile radiant and eyes blinking, which never fails to make Blaine’s heart beat a little faster. But while Kurt is obviously delighted to continue spending time with Blaine even after his move back to Lima, nothing ever happens, and Kurt doesn’t hint at wanting more like he did all those months ago on Valentine’s Day (or, as Blaine is dubbing it now, the Day He Probably Ruined His Chances with Kurt Forever).
He finally mentions his failed attempts to Wes and David one day. His despair is met with raised eyebrows.
“Wait, you’re trying to ask him out?!” David repeats, sharing a look with Wes. “We had no idea!”
“Duh.” Blaine rolls his eyes. “I’m kind of going by every trick in the book! Movie nights, coffee dates, fancy shows… but he doesn’t seem to get it.”
Wes clears his throat, his nose wrinkling. “Blaine, that’s… that’s all very cute of you and I’m sure Kurt appreciates it but – we’ve seen you around him before you started to, you know, like him-”
“I’ve liked him the whole time,” Blaine sighs, staring at his hands.
“Yeah, no, but… Blaine, if you think what you are doing now is dating, what exactly did you think you were doing before?”
Blaine looks up at his friends, who seem to be more amused than concerned.
“Um, what?” Blaine asks.
Wes smiles. “Blaine, you and Kurt have kind of been… I don’t know – dating without really dating, I guess, for a long time now.”
“Since you met him, actually,” David adds, nodding along to Wes’ words.
Blaine shakes his head. “No, we only-”
“Went on coffee dates, saw Rent together, practiced flirty duets-”
“Hung out alone pretty much all the time…”
Blaine blinks.
In retrospect, has anything really changed?
“I’m really not doing anything different, am I?” he breathes out, incredulous.
Wes and David shrug and shake their heads.
“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Wes says, patting Blaine on the shoulder. “But you go get him, tiger!”
“Yeah, Kurt is going to be so happy, man,” David agrees. “You don’t just fall out of love with Blaine Anderson, right?”
Blaine smiles, but he’s not so sure.
-
“So, what do you think?” Kurt asks excitedly, stepping out of the fitting room, wearing a dark vest over his checkered shirt, and twisting his head down to see if it looks good on him. It does, of course, and Blaine nods eagerly.
“Oh, wow, you look amazing,” he gushes, eyes falling to the way the vest hugs Kurt’s waist perfectly. "Kurt, I just lo-” He clears his throat, pretending to look through the cardigans on the nearest clothing rack when he feels himself blush. “I like it, you should take it.”
Kurt turns to the mirror, oblivious to Blaine’s almost-confession. “Hm… yeah, I think I will!”
A few minutes later, Kurt leaves the store with a shopping bag and Blaine with a hammering heart.
The realization that he needs to step up his game beyond dates that could be mistaken for friendly outings has Blaine shaking like a leaf every time he gets close to telling Kurt how he really feels. With every step Kurt takes forward, probably moving on from the thing they never had, Blaine follows in his step, falling a bit more, wondering how far Kurt needs to get to finally not want to look back anymore.
He’s faintly aware that Kurt is rambling on and on about how that vest actually was on sale and how the store had extra discounts for clothes already on sale, so that he really only paid a third of the original price, and he’s being so Kurt while doing it – waving his hands animatedly, slightly out of breath because of his excitement, eyes lighting up – that Blaine has a hard time not just blurting out that he-
“I love you!”
Ah. Apparently he’s not only having a hard time not doing it, he’s actually full-on shouting it now.
Standing frozen next to Kurt, Blaine almost misses how Kurt jumps up and down at his words, but only almost.
Still bouncing on his heels, Kurt leans over and kisses Blaine’s cheek, squealing, “I love you, too!” He clutches the shopping bag to his chest and continues walking, leaving Blaine to stare after him.
Whatever’s happening, he’s not sure he understands it very well.
“I’ve always had an eye for bargains but this was really just a lucky find, so-” Kurt turns to him, raising an eyebrow. “Well? Are you coming? We still have time for ice cream before the movie, and I plan on using the money I just saved to buy us some.”
Blaine nods, confused, and follows Kurt to the food court.
-
The “I love you” and the kiss on the cheek break a barrier Blaine isn’t sure he wanted to break, at least not in the way it’s developing. He’s fairly sure there still is nothing but friendship between them – at least from Kurt’s perspective – but Kurt doesn’t hesitate to repeat the words every now and then and Blaine actually finds himself kissing Kurt’s cheek from time to time as well, as if that’s a thing they do now.
Or is it? He doesn’t know.
He’s never had a friend like Kurt, so maybe taking their friendship to new levels isn’t exactly all that weird, but it doesn’t make the situation any less complicated.
He had no idea “I love you”s and kisses could be platonic but here he is on his bed at home during summer break, listening to sad music and pining after his best friend who kisses him and holds his hand and says “I love you”, all very devastatingly and frustratingly platonical actions that Blaine wishes would mean something.
“Okay, Squirt,” his brother says, sticking his head through the door, “I wasn’t gonna say anything but this is the fifth time you’re blasting Leona Lewis today, and I’m starting to get worried.”
Blaine turns his head to the door, sighing. “Hey, Coop.”
“You alright?”
“I…” Blaine sits up, tries to smile. “I’m fine.”
“Blaine.”
“Did mom send you?”
Cooper grins, and sits down on the bed next to Blaine. “She’s worried, too, but she has a far higher tolerance for Leona Lewis’ songs than I do.”
Blaine laughs. “Sorry.”
“Boy trouble?” Cooper asks.
Blaine blinks. “How did you know?”
Cooper lies back on the bed, raising a challenging eyebrow at Blaine. “Because you ‘keep bleeding in love’?” He chuckles. “Also because mom’s been telling me you keep hanging out with a certain Kurt…?”
“Ugh, why is mom such a gossip?” Blaine whines, throwing himself back on the bed as well and shielding his face from knowing eyes by burying it in his hands. “Yes, okay? I have boy trouble, his name is Kurt, and he’s amazing. He used to like me and now he… well, he likes me, but he doesn’t love me like I love him, and I just don’t know how to tell him that when I say ‘I love you,’ I don’t just mean the bubbly ‘love you’ kind of way but the ‘in love with you’ variant.”
“Aw, Blaine! You really are in love.” Blaine sees Cooper shake his head fondly when he peeks through his fingers, and he nods in reply. “Cute.” He dodges Blaine’s elbow and laughs. “Have you tried going for the ‘in love with you’ version?”
“No, I’m scared he’ll turn that into friendship talk as well,” Blaine mumbles. “It’s not like I deserve better, I used to do the same to him, I would flirt with him and not even realize I was doing it.”
“So you’re both knuckleheads, yeah?”
Blaine grimaces. “I guess.”
“And the only thing you can do to show how you feel is grand showy gestures that won’t be misinterpreted?” Cooper asks.
Blaine turns his face to him fully. “Who said anything about grand showy gestures?”
“Nobody did. Well, I did.” Cooper shrugs. “Come on, Blaine, you can’t ask me for advice and expect me to not come up with something straight from a movie.”
“I… didn’t ask you for advice,” Blaine says slowly.
Cooper grins. “And that was your first mistake.” He gets up and holds a hand out for Blaine. “Your second would be not to take the advice you didn’t ask for.”
“I’m confused.”
“Don’t worry, Squirt, we’ll get your boy to understand.” He spins Blaine around once and pulls him toward the door. “Mom! Let’s all go out tonight, yeah?”
-
Half an hour later, Blaine looks out the window of his mom’s car and realizes they’re not at all on the way to Breadstix but are in fact turning onto a street that is very familiar to him.
“Mom, what are we doing in Kurt’s street?” His mom doesn’t reply. Blaine scoots to the front edge of the backseat and shakes Cooper’s shoulder. “Coop? What are we doing here?”
They’re stopping in front of Kurt’s driveway.
“Can you not do the horror movie thing were you’re both silent and I have to pretend I’m not scared you’re going to bury me in the woods or-”
“Blaine honey, I know you’re scared to be honest with Kurt but you never know if you never try,” his mom interrupts him softly, smiling at Blaine through the rearview mirror.
Blaine stares at her. He thought they were going out for dinner to talk about how to proceed. They were going to come up with a plan. But not this plan. He doesn’t even know what the plan is, exactly.
“Mom, what-”
Cooper pulls out a boom box from under his seat. “I picked a good song from your playlist earlier. No Leona Lewis, though.”
Blaine blanches. “You actually brought music? No, no, no. That’s just too much!”
“Come on! It’s romantic!” both of his very clearly insane family members protest.
“You can’t just expect me to go out there and sing whatever-”
“It’s not whatever, I picked it carefully!” Cooper exclaims, visibly offended. “It’s that song, Be My Forever? It’s upbeat, it’s you, and it really can’t be misinterpreted!”
“Oh god,” Blaine groans. “It’s going to be super obvious!”
“That’s the point, honey,” his mom tells him. “Isn’t the whole crux of the matter that you’re not being obvious enough?”
Blaine bites his lip. He has to admit that they’ve got a point.
Maybe he’s let this whole thing go on too long out of the simple fear that Kurt wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. Kurt must have had that same fear when he professed his crush at the Lima Bean… and Blaine turned him down. That was brave – Kurt is always just so damn courageous. And if the confession didn’t make Blaine like Kurt any less, shouldn’t their friendship be able to withstand yet another unrequited crush? Or maybe, hopefully, not so unrequited? If anything, Blaine feels like he owes Kurt honesty.
“Yeah, time to be obvious, little brother,” Cooper says and twists in his seat to flash him a grin. “Now get out there and make us proud.”
Grumbling, Blaine gets out the car with the boom box in tow. He’s not new to serenading people but he hasn’t had the best track record. Stupid Jeremiah, stupid GAP, stupid idea – well, not entirely stupid. The incident had prompted Kurt to admit he thought Blaine would be singing to him, not to Jeremiah, which means Blaine can at least be sure that he won’t find it tacky.
Straightening his back, Blaine walks up the driveway, mentally thanking his lucky stars that neither Burt nor Carole seem to be home, judging by the lack of cars. Kurt’s car is parked up front, so Blaine continues on his way to the window that belongs to Kurt’s bedroom.
He takes a deep breath, and without further ado, turns on the music.
We’re on top of the world…
The first few lines come out a bit shaky, but his performance skills are the one thing he can rely on, so he finds himself getting into it once he gets to the end of the first verse.
So can I call you mine now, darling, for a whole life time?
My heart finally trusts my mind, and I know somehow it is right.
When he reaches the chorus, he looks back to Cooper and his mother, who are dancing in their seats, sending him thumbs up. Looking back to Kurt’s window, he sees the curtain drawing back and the window open a bit. His heart flutters, and he gives the next verse all he’s got.
I’ve got something to say, you’re perfect in every way.
I’m gonna shout it out, I wanna tell you now.
Now the window is opened wider. He doesn’t see anyone because the light is too dim but he figures it’s easier to not see Kurt’s face as he sings these words to him. He focuses on the performances instead, and spins right before the next chorus starts before turning back to the window, pouring all his unsaid feelings in the rest of the song.
By the end of it, when he gets to, Will you love me forever? I’ll love you forever, be my forever, his voice breaks a little. He looks down for a moment, steeling himself for whatever reaction he might get once he’s done. This is it.
He looks back up, shaking and panting, and calls out, “Kurt?” He breathes in slowly. “I know this is very sudden, and not at all what you’re expecting, probably, and maybe you don’t even know what I’m talking about but-”
The window finally opens all the way, revealing a face – just not Kurt’s.
“Uhm,” Finn says awkwardly, throwing Blaine an apologetic look. “My brother’s not here.”
Blaine suddenly feels very foolish and blushes all the way from his collar to the tip of his ears. He really should rethink this whole serenading-people-in-public thing, even though this one was technically not his idea.
“And it’s not that sudden,” another voice pipes up – Blaine recognizes it as Artie. “Everyone knows you have the hots for Kurt, he’s probably waiting for you to say something.”
That sends Blaine into a coughing fit. “What- what are you doing in Kurt’s room?” he chokes out.
“We needed one of his Broadway mixtapes for a Glee assignment,” Finn tells him. “Then we heard you sing and… well…”
“Why’d you let me finish?!” Blaine exclaims.
“Recorded it for posterity!” Artie says. His face is still not visible – he must not be sitting high enough in his chair for that – but a camera appears right above the windowsill. “I’m sure Kurt will-”
“Do not send it to Kurt!” Blaine hisses, picking up the boom box. “Just- please promise me to not tell him I was here.”
It’s one thing to serenade someone in front of their bedroom window. It’s another to accidentally address someone else. Someone else with a camera. Someone else who might give the footage to the original someone. Oh god, how did things get so ridiculously awkward? Blaine suddenly wishes he could have just gotten his nerve up after Blackbird and swept Kurt off his feet right then and there.
“Uh…” Finn shifts from side to side in obvious discomfort. “The thing is… he already knows.”
“What?! How?!”
“Well, we had to discuss- he was on the phone when you started and- uh, well-”
“Really?” Blaine breathes out, sending Finn a pleading look. “Is he still…?”
“No, he hung up. Had to be somewhere.” Finn clears his throat. “Really weird, actually, because he and Rachel are looking through her Broadway playlist, too, so I know he’s free but… I don’t know, maybe he was embarrassed?”
“Finn,” Blaine hears Artie say, “don’t break the guy’s heart, come on, that’s cruel.”
“I’ve gotta go,” Blaine says quickly, already feeling tears well up in his eyes. If Kurt really got embarrassed and he didn’t think it was nice to at least know about Blaine’s feelings, then, well, he really screwed up – not only a relationship, but his friendship to Kurt. He wonders if he’ll even have to bother explaining the whole thing to Kurt or if he should just go back to Dalton after the summer and pretend Kurt was never in his life in the first place… but can he even do that? Can his heart unlearn to love Kurt the way Kurt's apparently unlearned to love him?
He reaches the car, and wipes at his cheeks before motioning for Cooper to roll down the window all the way. He all but hurls the boom box onto his brother’s lap.
“Um…” Cooper says, wrinkling his nose in pity. “So I guess Kurt’s brother and his friend aren’t gay? Otherwise they would have kissed your feet by now.”
“I don’t need your jokes right now,” Blaine says, frowning. “It’s your fault I’m even here.”
“Blaine, no one could have kno-” his mother says, turning to fully look at Blaine before stopping mid-sentence. “Oh.”
“What, mom?” Blaine sighs. “No more brilliant plans now that I’ve really made a fool out of myself? I knew that I shouldn’t tell Kurt through song that-”
“We’ll wait for you at Breadstix,” she says quickly, and suddenly drives off.
“What the hell…?” Blaine mutters to himself before a touch to his shoulder makes him jump.
“Blaine.”
Blaine collects himself, turns around and – gasps. He knew it was Kurt, recognized his voice immediately, but he didn’t quite imagine him to look so… mesmerized, almost enamored.
Blaine remembers that look. He swears he saw it on Kurt when he sang to Jeremiah, too, but increased tenfold now.
“Um, so you heard all that…”
Kurt is out of breath when he speaks. “I ran all the way from Rachel’s,” he pants. “I… Blaine, I… I had no idea, I- I convinced myself I was reading too much into… I tried so hard to just be a friend… but- I’m not making any of this up anymore, am I? You really do… lo- I mean, you’re really…?”
“In love with you?” Blaine mumbles, heart almost breaking his ribcage with how hard it’s pumping away in his chest. “Y-yeah. I am. I wasn’t sure if you’d moved on, so I tried so much to just lay it all out on the line but… nothing really worked, and- I thought you didn’t like me like that anymore.”
“How on earth would you even think that was a possibility?!” Kurt exclaims softly, coming a step closer. “Blaine, that song…”
Blaine dares to look Kurt right in the eye at the awestruck tone of his voice. “Yeah?” he asks.
“It’s a duet.” Kurt smiles and tilts his head cheekily. “You should suggest that to the council sometime. Perfect for when the Warblers performance at the Lima nursing home next month.”
Blaine has to laugh at that, looking down on the ground, knowing he is smiling impossibly wide.
“If I did, would you be my duet partner?” he asks, biting his lip as he looks back up.
Kurt nods at once. “Yeah,” he says. “Yes, of course.”
There’s a groan coming from the house. “Would you kiss already?!” Artie shouts. Blaine turns his head and spots the video camera still sticking out of the window.
“Shut up!” Kurt shouts back. “And remember to save the video on my laptop before you leave my room!” He reaches for Blaine and pulls at his shirt to get him to move forward. “Is it okay if I…?” he asks, blinking as if he’s only now realizing what he’s doing.
Blaine nods wordlessly and draws Kurt in close. Their lips meet off-center and at an awkward angle but Blaine couldn’t care less; he’s kissing Kurt and the whole thing actually worked, and he has to remember to thank his mom and Cooper later – but for now, he’s content just mapping every inch of Kurt’s face with his fingertips as they continue to kiss with abandon.
“Our first kiss is on camera,” Kurt giggles as he twists his face to the side to catch his breath. “That’s something I never thought my first actual kiss would be. Not that I hate it. Kinda love it, actually.”
“Did you think it would be with me?” Blaine asks quietly.
“Hoped it would,” Kurt admits. “Sorry I lost that hope along the way and didn’t see any of the signs you practically threw at my face. That must have been disheartening…”
“Sorry it took me so long, that must have been disheartening,” Blaine replies with a shrug. He leans in close and presses their foreheads together with a smile. “But… now that you won’t mistake it for a friendly outing… would you like to get coffee with me? I think I still have some time before Coop and mom are done with dinner.”
“Why, Blaine Anderson, are you asking me out on a date?” Kurt flashes him a toothy grin. “You’re really pulling out all the stops today.”
Blaine laughs, and kisses Kurt again, slower and more lazily this time. When they finally detangle, he holds out a hand for Kurt to take and mumbles, “Better late than never, right?”
“Better late than never,” Kurt agrees, kissing Blaine’s cheek before pulling him to his car to drive them to their first official date.
