Kurtbastian one-shot - "A Dalton Boy Decaffeinated" (Rated M)
Summary:
Wants and needs clash when Kurt finds himself wanting something that even his sub can't provide.
Notes:
Don't worry about the summary. It's not that serious XD I have written this same trope several times for other couples, but fun fact - it originated with these two. I just never finished it and published it. (1,105 words)
Read on AO3.
"Hmmm...mmm-mmm-mmm...” The conflicted hum passes through Kurt’s lips as he aims a longing stare over Sebastian’s head towards the door. Sebastian peeks up at him, only taking in his profile since Sebastian's ability to move is stunted. He is bound at his Master's side by a long rope, wound intricately around both men so that sub and Master stay connected.
Their legs are lashed together at the ankles.
Sebastian's arms are tied at the wrists around Kurt's waist.
The rest of Sebastian is trapped along Kurt's side in some sort of diamond macrame weave Kurt said he learned from his grandmother.
That was a disturbing nugget of information at the time but not enough to quell Sebastian's hard-on.
With a few tugs, some careful maneuvering, and a shit ton of core strength, Kurt can control Sebastian. He can even get Sebastian upright and take him wherever he pleases.
And if Sebastian gets out of line, his cock is completely wrapped and attached by a braid to Kurt's left foot. A single kick would shut Sebastian up real quick. Not that Kurt has needed to do it. But that's not the point.
The threat is always there.
It took Kurt over an hour to finish his masterpiece, and he is proud of the different knots he employed.
Like a BDSM sampler.
He had intended for it to keep throughout the morning.
So, Kurt's conflict confuses Sebastian.
“What is it, Master?” Sebastian asks, not moving an inch from his position. Not that he could. Effectively, Sebastian is his Master's marionette. He will not move more until Kurt makes him. There's a comfortable contentment in that. Sebastian considers himself a type A personality. And he is, but not here. In Kurt's domain, Kurt calls the shots, and Sebastian is happy to let him do it.
Because regardless of the situation, Kurt is usually right.
“I want coffee,” Kurt says, “But I don’t want to get out of this bed. Not when it took so long to get this comfy."
“I wish I could help you out, Master."
“I've been thinking that maybe I should keep a coffee machine in here,” Kurt remarks. "Mini fridge, too. Maybe a hot plate. Then we'd never have to leave this room. Especially when the fucking heater decides to crap out in the middle of a blizzard."
That's not what is happening now, but it has happened too many times this winter already. Kurt doesn't object to piling on sweaters and blankets, but he likes being naked in his room, especially when Sebastian is around.
Naked and unfettered, with no clothes in the way, and no blankets on top of them to restrict movement other than the ways Kurt wants it restricted.
“That’s a good idea, Master,” Sebastian says. "Maybe you can jump online later. Use my AmEx card. I bet IKEA can have it all here by the evening."
Kurt smirks at his sub, so willing to give up everything, including money, in the service of his Master. Kurt never liked financial domination, mostly because he was the one with the money in any relationship. He didn't need anyone else's money, so the thought of draining some poor fool dry for his own gratification didn't sit right with him. But this, what he has with Sebastian, is how fin-domming is meant to be: a gorgeous submissive who not only does all of Kurt's heavy lifting, and cleans his house, but is willing to throw money at Kurt's every whim.
A lot of money.
Yup. This he likes.
“We will definitely do that, preppy,” Kurt agrees. But the thrill ebbs slightly with the realization, "But that doesn’t help me at the moment.”
“No, it doesn’t, Master." Sebastian pauses to think. “We can have coffee delivered.”
Kurt grins.
Yup. He really, really likes this.
“We could, but then we’ll have to open the door for the delivery guy when he gets here, and if I’m going through the trouble of unwrapping you and me and getting out of bed, I might as well go make coffee, which I’m not doing because I don’t want to get out of bed.”
“Hmm. That is a conundrum, Master."
"I'm glad you agree."
Both men lie quietly, deep in thought, trying to find a solution to their coffee dilemma when Kurt gets struck by genius. He almost pops upright, but Sebastian's weight keeps him tethered to the bed.
“I know. I’ll call Elliott,” Kurt decides. “He'll probably be pissed as all get out, but he can bring us coffee, and we won’t have to get out of bed to let him in because he has a key.”
"That's brilliant, Master."
Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're cool with that, preppy? He'll want compensation for coming all this way. It may include you."
Sebastian doesn't hesitate when he says, "If it means you get what you want, Master, I'm game."
"Then I'll go ahead and do that." Kurt's grin spreads wider. What a beautiful boy he has. What a wonderful sub. He's not sure that Sebastian's nonchalance about being both his and Elliott's fleshlight for the afternoon is genuine, but Kurt is willing to take him at his word. Maybe he's stepping out of his comfort zone, broadening his horizons.
Or maybe he's just doing it to make Kurt happy, plain and simple.
Either way, Elliott has also opened up to the idea of playing nice with Sebastian, which would be fucking fantastic because it would make Kurt's life so much easier.
And wouldn't it be nice to have an easy life for once?
Yes, sir! What an incredible afternoon this might turn into: coffee in bed, possibly a scone, and then double-teaming his boy for dessert.
How did Kurt get this lucky?
Except right as that thought enters his head, he realizes his luck may have run dry.
Kurt scans the room. After a couple sweeps, his eyes lock on a point over by the door, and he sighs another long, complicated sigh. Once again, Sebastian is confused. Kurt's moods shift on a dime sometimes. But he was so happy with his plan. Sebastian can't imagine what could be wrong.
“That sounded heavy, Master. What is it?”
Kurt doesn't answer right away, staring at the one thing that would make his plan possible, lying on a pile of clothes in the corner. He put it there to ensure that no one would disturb them, to give him an excuse not to guilt himself into pausing this indulgence for the needs of others.
This one gif sums up, completely, how I best like to think of Crowley and Aziraphale. Which is a little odd, maybe, considering this footage came from between takes, but to me it encompasses them wonderfully. Crowley bringing joy to Aziraphale simply by being there beside him and saying something which seems absurdly silly at the time but will later make the angel see the world in a new light, through Crowley's lenses. Aziraphale's smile and laughter flooding Crowley's chest with the best feeling he's ever known. And, of course, the Bentley.
Well, we should certainly make sure that everyone knows about this image, or how will they know not to post it? It's not like "That image of Musk looking like a Nazi" would narrow it down.
If you would like to contribute to the Klaine AU Fanzine Series, submissions for Volumes #3-6 are now open!
Please carefully read all info provided on the form, then complete and submit the form. If you have any questions, you can send them to [email protected].
Themes:
Vol. #3 - Dark Fantasy: Vampires/Werewolves/Angels/Demons/Monsters
NOTE: The above listed serve as an umbrella for the types of AUs that may be accepted. Fic/art is not limited to the exact specific categories, but may be adjacent to them in some way.
Submissions Dates:
January 3rd, 2026 - August 14th, 2026 [TENTATIVELY]: Open submissions for fic and art (new and/or previously written/created)
i’m not a fan of the good omens finale but what i refuse to do is go into finale lovers’ positive posts and go rain on their parades. i think our fandom can survive this if we don’t try to tell others what to feel. and yes that goes both ways.
then eventually we can go back to peaceful parallel play and even sharing toys
This is my love letter to Good Omens, the book, the show and the fandom.
Today we get to see the ending of the story we love so much, one we have been waiting for a long time. But you know what ? It was quite the wait, a wait full of art made by the fans who have kept this alive and close to our hearts.
There’s a whole world of some of the most amazing works of fiction, art, music, video edits, memes.
To the friends this fandom brought me, I love you guys so much, I need no tags, you guys KNOW
I don't know how Terry managed it. There's just nothing on this earth like a Discworld book. I'll be listening to a book I've read countless times over and suddenly, a single line I've never even really noticed before will tear me open. They just reach right inside me and open my ribcage to expose my very heart.
Tonight, it was Hat Full of Sky and Granny Weatherwax saying, "The world is unfair. Be grateful you have friends." On their own, the words are unremarkable. But juxtaposed together, with the context they are operating in....they had tears flowing down my face before I knew what was happening. The world is unfair; sometimes, the wonderful happens when it shouldn't (and/or when you feel you deserve a divinely wrathful torment) because you have friends. The world is unfair. That doesn't just mean that the horrible happens when it shouldn't. It means that the beautiful does too. Be grateful you have friends. They are the hub on which that beauty spins, turning the theft into gold.
A lot of people I've introduced to these books haven't liked them — they find them too silly, or preachy, or nonsensical, or even puerile. I am never upset or really disappointed when they don't like them. To each their own. But I will never understand it. They are baked into my being in a way that few things are and I am better to myself, to other people, and to the world because of it.
Sir Terry, you were a gift nonpareil. Thank you for your words and for shaping my world.
Thank you for writing this so much more clearly than I ever could. Terry Pratchett's books are a reflection on our own society but wrapped up in hilarious observational humour that means they don't feel preachy.
Few authors have made me laugh out loud so frequently and freely.
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