Shit that has been said at my martial arts studio JUST in the last 36hours
“Mount me daddy”
*does single handed cartwheel* “Just do that”
“It looks really fucky, but it’s actually pretty natural”
“What do we do if we just want to die though?” “Pull the knife into your throat”
“So there’s this thing called body awareness” “Yeah?” “I don’t have that”
“Yes, I am aware I look like a toddler.”
“You see my brain gets it, it’s just getting my brain to get my body to get it is the issue”
“Harder daddy”
“Fuck you.” “Maybe next week.” “Ew.”
“It’s disgusting in here.” “That’s just because I walked in.”
“Someone get on me”
“It’s just one-one thousand-*snaps fingers*” “Tap, snap or nap bitches.”
“Let’s go my dude.” “You can’t rush perfection.” “Which is why we’re trying to rush you.”
“I forgot how much of a nerd you are.” “It’s not nerdy it’s history!” “Oh honey, its both.”
“Just go straight down the lane.” “I can’t do that!” “Then go gay down the line then!”
“Or you could do a straight punch.” “Gay punch” “HAI-maker”
“I didn’t almost drop my water bottle that time so everyone had to be paying attention to what I said!”
“Or just like 27 times.” “What is with you and multiples of 3?” “I don’t know...OCD?”
“YAS get it queen.”
“Okay I’m gay but that’s fucking gay.”
“I guess if you’re average height you just get to suck then”
“Do you have a safe word?” “Nah, I’ll just pass out.”