Hi, is it still ok to request? I've been curious on how Grisham would lose him usual calm and collected composure while making love to reader and aftercare. I'm so smitten by him. Help a gal out pleaseeee 🥺. Thank youuuu.
Hi anon!
My request ARE open, but unfortunately, I'm afraid my skills in writing nsfw are pretty weak. I'm going to humbly pass this on to my fellow writers @vanillianbean and @wegotfoodathome, who I know will do your prompt justice!
Stay tuned (or better yet, follow them, so you can get the update when they post!)
Yesterday, I feel down a hole of watching clips from past episodes of Masterchef Canada. I like the Canadian version of the show, because the people in it are truly skilled, and the judges are not assholes (unlike the US version). While watching those clips, I came across this clip
The setting is that contestants are split into two teams, who have to make the food for the customers at one of the…
A lot of people seem to automatically dislike the term “self-care”. Honestly, what an odd thing to dislike. Should we all dislike ourselves and not care about ourselves? That’s pretty unhealthy, if you ask me. Self-care to some people seems to mean putting ourselves first. It doesn’t need to mean that, but there’s also no need to live like a martyr constantly either. There is a healthy balance…
We all have lines that should not be crossed. We can only do so much, take so much, and go so far before we hit our limits. However, sometimes, the lines can get a little blurred as people try and pressure us to push past what we know is too much. Sometimes, it even feels a little selfish to stick to our limits. After a conversation I had with a friend recently, I’m here to encourage anyone and everyone to find your limits and stand strong behind them.
We had been discussing how another friend of ours was going into social work. My friend, whose name I won’t give out, said that they could never do that because they would lose a part of themself. But also, that it was selfish of them to put their wellbeing over the children they could help. This was alarming to me, because it’s not selfish at all to know that you can’t do something. It’s a valid reason for them to not want that, and I told them so.
Sometimes, it’s easy to convince ourselves that self care, in it’s many forms, is selfish. But in fact, whether you’re exfoliating or choosing to cut down your emotional stress by not taking a certain path, it’s what’s best for you. It’s much harder to take care of others and do what we need to do if we aren’t taking care of ourselves first. And, in my friend’s case, it would do no good for those children if my friend got to a point where they could not do their best at work.
Finding your limits can also be difficult. It often takes getting hurt or overworking yourself to find where you need to draw the line. Maybe you take on too many responsibilities and get overwhelmed. Maybe you think you’re ready for a more serious relationship when you’re actually not. It can cause problems. However, we can learn from situations like this and do better next time. We know when to stop and reflect on how we’re doing in the moment and how a next step can affect us in the future. Doing something for yourself like this is necessary for us to be at our best and to be comfortable in life. Not selfish, not conceited, not narcissistic. Necessary and well deserved.
Don’t be ashamed of holding yourself and others to these limits as well. If someone is pushing you to do too much or something that crosses your line, stand firm and say no. You know what is best for you better than anyone else. And if you think in the slightest way that something crosses your line, you have every right to refuse or at least think about it. And if someone is regularly pressuring you into doing something, it’s time to rethink who you want in your life. You deserve respect and so do your limits.
To review, give yourself the chance to discover your limits. When you do find them, stick with them. If someone is pressuring you to back down, rethink who you want in your life. And finally, take care of yourself, take your time, and keep being you.
Pretty certain I have reached that slightly magical place of ‘Caffeine Intoxication’. I generally know it, by the fact that I feel good, feel focused (but on the verge of becoming unable to focus) and I am dancing in my chair to the music
Anonymous said to realsocialskills:Do you have any advice on figuring out how to respect your own limits (in terms of energy/ability/etc) without missing out on too much due to being overcautious?
How do you know when you really aren't able for something that day, and when you've just convinced yourself you're not because you're scared?
realsocialskills said:
I think it's mostly a matter of developing your judgement over time.
There's no foolproof way to always be sure whether or not you're up for something. Everyone makes mistakes in both directions.
I think part of what's needed is giving yourself permission to be wrong. You don't have to have this completely figured out. It's ok if sometimes you miss out on things that you could have done. It's ok if sometimes you try things and it ends up being a bad idea. Everyone makes mistakes. You're allowed to make them too.
The important thing is to learn from your mistakes. If you regret going to something, that tells you something. If you regret not going to something, that tells you something too. If you think about the reasons and apply what you learn to new situations, you'll get better results over time.
Anyone else want to weigh in? How do you judge your limits? How do you learn how to do it more reliably?
tl;dr Figuring out your limits is a process. So is figuring out when to push them. It's ok to make mistakes, and it gets easier to make good choices if you get in the habit of learning from them.
