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Maki-Catta by christian.corsano https://flic.kr/p/2n1Ugik

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Leaving my bird alone for hours

So, today I went to Knuthenborg Safari Park with my mom, something we’ve been looking forward to a good two months. It’s a place I’ve been a lot to as a child, and I was looking forward to seeing it with grown eyes and, most of all, record it all and make a vlog out of it.

But it also meant to leave Hamilton alone for many hours, more than he’s tried before. So I was pretty worried. During the morning before I left, I made sure he had everything he needed. I refilled his bowl, gave him an extra amount of clean cold water and sprayed both him and his cage with water to make sure it was cool while I was gone. And I let him spend as much time as possible with me outside of his cage.

Before I left, I turned on my webcam so I could see what he’d be doing while I was gone. But most importantly, if he was screaming for me and being noisy. Since my neighbor, Mrs. Exceptionally Good Hearing as I have named her, once upon a time claimed that he was quote: “Being very noisy for many hours a day.”

This confused me a great deal since everyone I know has agreed that Hamilton is an exceptionally quiet bird. And I agree as well. So I was curious to see just how noisy he’d be when he was going to be alone for 8 hours straight. I figured maybe he’s noisy when he’s alone rather than when I’m home?

So I come home, he’s happy to see me, but doesn’t seem to have been bored while I was gone. He gets all the kisses scritches and he joins me while I change clothes and remove my makeup, all that routine stuff. Then I finally sit down, with Hamilton next to me, ready to hear just how noisy he is when I’m gone.

Through 8 hours of footage... he didn’t say one single fucking tweet.

WHAT is my neighbor on? Whatever it is, there needs to added “hears noises that isn’t there” on the side effects. I know you might be thinking: “Well, he might just have been quiet TODAY.” Oh, no, no, no. My neighbor SPECIFICALLY wrote in her letter that he had been noisy and bugging her for a week before she complained, describing it as him screaming for hours on end every single day. Also, this isn’t the first time I’ve put my webcam on to check his noise level.

I get the same result every time. Absolute silence.

And while I’ve been sitting here, writing this, he hasn’t said anything either. As per usual. He said a single tweet when I came home and said hi. I recognized the tweet as him copying my way of saying “hi”, which he’s been doing since I’d only had him for two weeks.

Oh, no, he says HI BACK. Call the fucking police why don’t you.

He was quiet for 8 fucking hours straight. My neighbor should probably start considering if what she’s hearing isn’t tinnitus or something, cause it sure as shit isn’t my bird x’D

Also bonus story: When I had a friend over and we were livestreaming while playing an RPGmaker horror game, she ALSO came down to complain that we were being noisy. The moment someone knocked on my door, I knew it was her. Who else would it be? xD Basically I just opened my door with a toothpaste smile, asking kindly if we were being loud? And she was being all polite herself, but I swear to God, if this was some sitcom and people could see us from outside... I think it’d be one of those: “Oh, yeah, they both be faking those smiles and really want to kill each other” moments xD