i thought it was cute also, but the fact that it just exists to be sexualized was too big a hurdle for me personally. this is of course worst with the loli/shota stuff as you say. as for the stuff between kobayashi and tohru, for me it was kinda too surface level for most of the show. it gets better toward the end of course, but tohru insisting she fully romantically loves kobayashi from the beginning kinda sucks the wind out of the sails of the finale where their bond is actually solidified. might've been better if it started out as more just, a playful fascination considering how different kobayashi is to her. or something, i dunno.
I agree! Existing to be sexualized is an issue I put my blinders on for a lot anime. The creator of the show also is a man who is really into shota and large chested women, so that makes if even worse, somehow (I found this out when I was seeing if the manga endgamed the two as a couple or was at the very least written by a woman.)
Part of me actually liked that tohru was so invested in Kobayashi, ESPECIALLY after the drunken night of their fist meeting be elaborated upon.
The thought of the start of a romance being a gay, overworked, woman drunkenly saving another gay, outcasted, monstrous woman appealed to me. Kobayashi is so stoic, but tohru's first interaction with Kobayashi is when she's inebriated, and arguably more authentic and spontaneous than she allows herself to be as a reserved woman (or rather, a reserved, possibly repressed, and private lesbian.) Tohru, as a result, falling deeply for this human is really endearing as a she is enamoured by such a raw and fun side of Kobayashi.
I agree that tohru insisting that she Fully loves Kobayashi from the beginning of the show being a flaw. When watching orginally, I thought it would be like SU's Rose/Greg dynamic where Tohru realizes humans are 'deep' lol and that to achieve a relationship with Kobayashi she needs to learn about Kobayashi to really be in love. But they didn't :'(