Heading back from Nerdy Derby day2 #koiclouds #koifish #inphoneediting #newmedia

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Heading back from Nerdy Derby day2 #koiclouds #koifish #inphoneediting #newmedia
Light
She is sick, but repairing, amid the weekend closeness of her little girl. Curled together as they are in the living room, blinds closed to block the morning glow. This child is truly the light of her life, where one son is her strength, the other her dark repentance. She needs them all and they grow together like moss-gathering stones in their own dark glade, ignorant of one day having to push into the light. They will roll away from her then, and she wonders if the weight of her love will fall off their backs as they go.
Later in the day, she dresses like a vampire preparing for the sun, pulling her hair back tightly to hold herself in. Her daughter’s pulsing glow is like star burst in her heart, not made for where she has to go. Pressed and contained like a covered lantern, she steps out.
Motherversary
The night before her son’s 9th birthday (not his real birthday, but the day that would involve real people), she began to recognise the anxiety that had been building in her all the week. She had come to terms with the sad frustration he felt at having no friends he could invite, but there was so much more. He was looking forward to it, with the excitement only a child can muster. And he was afraid, so afraid that it would all go wrong. No one knew like she did, the terror of disappointment. And what did she have to offer him? A present that could fit in his pocket. A visit to the aquarium. A mother’s love. Their budget barely covered food for the week, but she knew she’d find a way. For special meals and sweet treats, for surprise gifts in the mail, little experiences to remember. She ignored her debts, her less important chores, and focused on ways to make him smile. After such a year as this, she wanted him to remember being happy.
Rain
Growing up in a drought, her children barely knew rain. The youngest was four when the drought broke, and heavy rain fell for the first time. The gutters in the streets turned into little creeks, and the children ran barefoot to play in the running water. She watched them, her eyes dancing in a smile as her figure once did in the summer rains. Now it takes a storm to move her, to touch her like water upon skin. A flash, and then a rumble in the evening sky, forcing her to remember that it is a whole world that holds her. That when she walks on the earth, she is being carried. On the wet street, a worm has lost its way. It lies stranded on the concrete path. She watches it, and feels exposed. Her children take a hand on either side to hold. They are silent, as the rain shatters the air around them with water, sound, and the warm, steamy breath of its contact with the baked ground.