╰➤ SYNOPSIS: in which our beloved bungo stray dogs characters, especially dazai osamu, receive valentine's day love letters and discover that they came from you, the dimensional traveling scarlet witch who happens to come from a world of curses and sorcerers they knew and loved like a little sister or niece. click to view the full request here !
there wasn't much work in the armed detective agency office, but dazai, being dazai, was exaggerating how it was february 14—a day of love and romance while also throwing in some comments about having someone to commit double suicide with, much to atsushi's dismay.
being the armed detective agency, they just weren't ones for holidays. duties calls given their line of work. it just so happened that today was miraculously not loaded with investigations and such.
while everyone else was just getting through the day, kunikida had returned from his own work, much to everyone's and dazai's surprise, carrying a large bag in one hand and a smaller bag in the other. it was quite amusing to see the young blonde man was struggling.
"woah, what'chu got there kunikida-kun?" ranpo inquired, poking at the large bag on the floor next to the blonde man.
"t-they're.. letters.." kunikida managed to say as he gasped for air with hands on his knees.
"letters? you mean work for us to do?!" exclaimed atsushi, whose mortified expression was mirrored by tanizaki.
"huh? no!" kunikida exclaimed, furrowing his brows, "they are love letters to dazai!"
everyone in the armed detective agency froze and practically screamed, "WHAT?!"
dazai's eyes lit up as he clasped his hands together, watching kunikida practically shove the massive bag of love letters towards him, "they're all for me? really?!"
"ugh, even until now, i still have the charms to lure ladies and gents!~" dazai exclaimed as he leaned back dramatically.
"that's an unusually large number of love letters," yosano's sweat dropped as she watched dazai open the bag to reveal more of the letters that were peeking out.
dazai chose the first envelope in the bag that had a "read me first!" note attached to it, and just by looking at it, he noticed that the handwriting was quite messy, which was appropriate for a child's handwriting.
he opened it right away and found his eyes widening in surprise, which somewhat alarmed everyone.
"what is it, dazai-san?" atsushi furrowed his brows in concern.
"it's from [name]-chan!" dazai exclaimed, his face bright and happy, waving the letter in the air as if he had won a million dollars.
"letters from [name]-chan?" kenji commented with a closed-eye smile, "aww, how sweet!"
"h-how?! [name]-chan wrote all of that?!" atsushi was in complete disbelief.
"happy valentine's day dazai-nii! sorry for not being able to go there to greet you and everyone myself," dazai read out the letter with a smile, everyone smiling in awe, "i've got you everyone letters though! the big bag is all yours dazai-nii, while the small bag contains everyone else's. all of the letters are written with love!"
"wow.. talk about favorites.." tanizaki chuckled softly and held the nape of his back as kunikida opened the smaller bag he was holding to reveal ten envelopes, each sealed with a barbie, baby shark, or pokemon sticker.
"of course, dazai-san would get more letters..." atsushi commented and patted tanizaki's shoulder as kunikida handed out letters to him, tanizaki, kyouka, kenji, yosano, ranpo, fukuzawa, naomi, and kirako.
"what else does the first letter say, dazai?" ranpo inquired, peering over dazai's shoulder with the others.
"[name]-chan said that the reason she couldn't come here was because her father had given her a temporary ban," dazai explained, his sweat and tone of voice dropping at his next words, "apparently [name]-chan had accidentally teleported to a world of human eating giants."
"is she okay?" kyouka clenched her fists, clearly worried about you, her little sister figure.
"[name]-chan is safe," dazai reassured the young girl as he read the letter, "her father just made her promise not to use her wiggly-woos magic for a little while, so she just sent us love letters instead."
"that's a good to hear, dazai," fukuzawa sighed in relief and placed a closed hand on his chest.
you expressed your heartfelt gratitude to dazai for looking after and loving you in the same way your adoptive father, gojo satoru, would, and as a result, you've always felt at ease with him and the rest of the armed detective agency. as dazai read your special valentine's day message for him, he couldn't help but giggle in delight.
dazai opened another envelope from the large bag meant for him and read its contents to the others, "hi dazai-nii! i'm at school today again but daddy's training gumi-nii, yuuji-nii, and nobara-nee today so i'm watching from the sides. i just saw gumi-nii faceplant and i can't stop laughing about it! it was really funny!"
"gumi-nii?" naomi cocked her head at the mention of an unfamiliar name.
"oh, that's [name]-chan's actual older brother," dazai explained, remembering you telling him everything about your family. "his name is megumi, but [name]-chan likes to call him gumi for short. yuuji and nobara, on the other hand, are megumi's classmates whom she sees as older brother and sister."
"oh! i didn't know [name]-chan had an actual older brother," atsushi commented, blinking.
dazai picked up another letter and read it, laughing, "hi dazai-nii! something funny happened today! i accidentally made yuuji-nii butt naked in front of the higher-ups with my wiggly-woos. i got in trouble though, but it's not too bad. daddy didn't give me kikufuku as usual for dessert after dinner as my punishment."
"she what?!" atsushi screamed as yosano, ranpo, and the others laughed and snickered.
"sometimes i forget just how powerful and funny [name]'s abilities can be," yosano continued to giggle at the story.
"but that is quite unfortunate however.." fukuzawa's cleared his throat, his sweat dropping at the mere thought of it.
dazai kept opening more of the letters you'd given him and reading them to the rest of the armed detective agency.
the next one after the wiggly-woos magic error was you telling him about the mama duck and her baby chicks you saw while strolling through the forest part of the school, or more accurately, running away from the sight of gojo satoru and his students because you did mention that everyone was frantically looking for you while you were simply watching the ducks. you even drew those ducks on your letter, or at least attempted to. it was completely unrecognizable, but you tried, okay?
"are you sure those are ducks?" kunikida squinted his eyes and adjusted his glasses, his sweat dropping.
"hey, now! don't shame [name]-chan's art! they're ducks if you look closely, kunikida-kun!" dazai elbowed the young blonde man before turning to kyouka, "it's a very good drawing, right kyouka-chan?"
"mhm," kyouka gave dazai a thumbs-up as she hummed in agreement.
"ah, kids," kunikida sighed, stifling a soft chuckle as he shook his head.
the following letters followed suit. you told dazai about the cartoon shows you watched, the food you ate, and the toys and clothes you received from your father and family members.
in fact, you told him everything that happened in your life, including you tripping and using your magic to help people in secret, and as dazai opened and read through them all, he soon realized that the reason you had sent him so many letters was because you'd been writing for him since the beginning of february, and it was exactly as you quoted,
"it's not everyday that i get to be in your universe to know yours, so i want you to get to know what being in mine is like," was what you wrote in the last letter that was in the bottom of the bag, "i've read your mind once dazai-nii, and well, i figured it would be a good try if i were to show you what living is like through my eyes. to get you to know what life is like for me here."
the next words at the bottom of the letter softened dazai's eyes, which were accompanied by hearts and a doodle of you and him together.
"it's the little things that makes life worth living, and i hope you know that me learning i can travel and going to your universe, meeting you and everyone there, and the rest of your other selves makes life worth living because i got to meet a family i never thought i'd have. it makes me feel like i'm never alone and that it is fate that made it happen. oh, and dazai-nii? i love you in every universe. happy valentine's day!"
dazai would be lying if he said he wasn't emotional. as expressive and comical as he was, it was unusual for him to be emotional, just as it was rare for him to be caught off guard.
nonetheless, dazai leaned back further in his seat, closing his eyes as he smiled and took in your final message in the last letter, and softly whispered, "happy valentine's day, [name]-chan. i love you too in every universe."
it wasn't just dazai who was overcome with emotion. the rest of the armed detective agency was, too, as they opened the love letters they received from you next.
as you thanked fukuzawa for looking after you, he was soft with how you see him as an uncle or grandpa figure. you even drew cats on his letter and told fukuzawa about the cats you saw in the park when you returned to your world. he did, however, started sweating with worry when you told him you would summon an army of cats if he so desired because you love him that much!
yosano thought it was very sweet that you saw her as a very cool auntie figure with whom you enjoyed hanging out and talking about girl-stuff. you also thanked her for tending to your minor injuries while visiting and playing in their universe, and you expressed your love with doodles of butterflies because they remind you of her.
ranpo, like dazai, was smiling the entire time he read your praises for him being the best uncle detective you ever had and how much you enjoyed solving mysteries with him. you even sent ranpo some of your favorite candy and chocolate with the letter he received from you.
the tanizaki siblings were in awe by your valentine's day letter. naomi and junichiro were both happy to read your appreciation for them caring for and loving you as if you were their little sister.
kyouka became shy when she discovered your letter for her littered with doodles of bunnies and hydrangeas. even if it was barely recognizable, she still loved it because you remembered her, and most importantly, she's extremely glad you see her as an older sister figure whom you admire and look up to. kyouka became timid of your compliments about her beauty and coolness too, however.
kenji thought it was very sweet of you to look up to him as an older brother figure you admired. you drew a bunch of farm animals like cows and chickens on his letter, similar to kyouka's letter, even if it was barely recognizable due to your exceptional drawing abilities as a child.
kunikida was flustered, caught off guard by your sweet words of love and gratitude for him, but he was extremely proud of being the uncle figure you could look up to and rely on.
atsushi was beaming brightly as he read your valentine's day letter to him. you thanked atsushi and expressed your love for him by drawing a tiger and many hearts on his letter. he reminded you of your yuuji-nii, so you told him how grateful you were to have a yuuji-nii in this world, and not than just a gumi-nii :)
last but not least, kirako was surprised that you gave her a valentine's day letter despite not being as close to you as the others and was merely a clerk there, but she was extremely grateful that you acknowledged her presence and her caring for you alongside naomi.
the armed detective agency fell in love with your personal letters for them and couldn't help but wish you were here with them so they could personally thank you and tell you how much they love you, their little sharpest detective.
however, it wasn't just the armed detective agency that got love letters.
the port mafia was no exception.
"uwaaah! a love letter from [name]-chan, my best friend!" exclaimed an ecstatic elise as she admired the pink envelope chuuya handed her.
as amusing as it was, the port mafia truly believed they were receiving death threats from an organization when a bag of letters was mailed. they were shocked to learn that you had sent them love letters—as if they weren't already criminals. goodness, you truly were an angel sent from above.
"i've got a letter from [name]-chan, too?" koyou cupped her mouth with her kimono sleeve as chuuya handed her an envelope, blushing.
"apparently so, ane-san," said chuuya, shrugging his shoulders and casting a glance at the siblings under the black lizard who was in the office with them, "chibi also wrote letters to tachihara, hirotsu, gin, and akutagawa, even higuchi was no exception."
"my, my, isn't that sweet of her?" koyou's eyes softened and she smiled as she opened the envelope and read your letter towards to reveal your valentine's day message for her, which was you thanking her for looking after you when chuuya was busy—for being an older sister or mama-figure you could look up to and love.
as they read your letter, the akutagawa siblings remained silent, not daring to say anything. gin was blushing behind her mask. she clearly wasn't expecting your kind and sweet words. in contrast, akutagawa ryunosuke was more surprised than impressed by the revelation that he resembles your actual older brother, fushiguro megumi.
"whaaat? all of you received letters from [name]-chan?" mori inquired in a dramatic tone as looked at his subordinates, "i don't have one!"
"serves you right, rintaro!" elise laughed as she pointed at mori mockingly.
chuuya shrugged off the port mafia boss and turned your letter towards him, and it wasn't long before he began to smile in awe. you wrote him a poem, or rather tried to because some words didn't exactly rhyme, but it was very sweet—how much you looked up to him and loved him as your chuuya-nii! what really made chuuya happy was when you declared him your favorite over dazai. chuuya was going to blackmail that idiot vagabond with this.
"happy valentine's day, chibi," chuuya murmured to himself, his blue eyes softening and adoring the doodle you made of him and you, "heh, i'll make sure to give you a small bouquet of your favorite flowers and chocolates when you get here as my thanks."
[ author's notes ! happy belated valentine's day everyone. hope you enjoyed reading this, i had fun writing it even though it took me a while due to my hectic schedule lol. PLEASE i literally have midterm exams tomorrow and had to insert this fic in my schedule since it's no longer february 14 and i have to get it published soon. thank you for requesting dear anon, i hope you didn't mind me bullying mori here 😆]
(4/4) ok rapidfire round cuz i talked about aku and dazai WAAAY too much here are some other guys who work with this
fyodor - this fucker would legit get to the point where he actually fucking tries to kill you, and then a month later you’re just. back in his house. probably tied to a chair while he straddles your lap and pets your hair and coos about how badly he’s yearned for his little golubchik (little dove) since you last parted ways and how glad he was when he heard you were okay and how you guys should totally get married in the eyes of the lord and youre about to have a fucking anuersysm.probably wants to just pretend it Didnt Happen. he’d be very unequipped to deal with Feelings Of Guilt so he assauges it by showering you in affection and gifts and larping as Loving Husband. might tamper with you juuuust a touch so you forget about the whole thing, cuz seeing you flinch and try to get away from him makes his chest all tight and he doesnt Like It so you gotta stop doing it <3
gogol - all my ideas for him are VERY similar to what i already have down for dazai BUT differences are that he doesnt wanna torture you cuz he Dislikes you, he wants to torture you cuz he wants to see your Normal Person-ish reaction to incredible suffering! not only are you going through hellish pain, but it’s being inflicted on someone who you thought cared for you? how ghoulish! your reaction would certainly be one for the books! he gets attached to you probably the same way he did to fyodor, through you making real strides towards understanding him, but your Normal Ways would make him less keen on wanting to murder you and more keen on wanting to stay with you forever and make you his little birdie. you managing to piece together that your bf was actually that clown terrorist youve been hearing so much about DID throw a wrench in things a touch, but hes waaay too impressed with you to be bothered by it! youre even more amazing than he thought! wow! his darling birdie! lets stay together forever! why are you running away come back :(
kouyou - shout out to all my WOMAN LIKERS we got kouyou. gonna have to make this one quick i talked about the russians too much. listen. kouyou? she’s already got some baggage about losing the person she loves to the mafia, so falling for her target is EXTREMELY inconvenient for her. she wants to just ignore her feelings and be rid of you already, to save herself the trouble (insert wont say im in love from hercules somewhere in here), but you’re so... bright. much brighter than she ever thought she’d be able to experience, and you care for her so much… she just cant bring herself to let you slip away. please, dont hate her for bringing you into the darkness with her. she wont let it infect you, she promises! anything and everything to protect her precious light.
CONCLUSION: im insane
- 🩹
can you tell i'm super biased towards nikolai :< all asks in this au (basically yandere uses the reader to steal info, falls for them as well) are tagged as #spy au 🐟
cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, jealousy, violent threats, murder, forced relationships, kidnapping, imprisonment, manipulation, nikolai has previously pulled out a knife on reader and threatens to kill them.
honestly i don't think fyodor would ever feel guilt for his previous actions. sure, he's roughed you up far too much for the sake of the mission and ruined your life and tortured your friends but all of that was to bring you both together! everything that happened was for the good of your relationship. he always knew you were something special, back when he decided to use you as a way to get information about yokohama's ability users. in fact, he had already decided back then that he would have you join him to fulfill his goal once he gained what he needed to know. you would be useful in a lot of ways, but mostly he wanted you there for a far more selfish reason.
(it did get pretty lonely at the top.)
you thought fyodor was going to kill you after his true intentions were revealed, but waking up to find him holding you like he was cradling the most wonderful thing in the world made you realize you couldn't be more wrong. he had never been to pushy when you met, never asking anything suspicious enough for you to think he was using you. in fact, you only ever met him once every few weeks in a desolate corner when you felt tired from all your work. maybe that false belief that you two were strangers who would never meet at day was what led you to confide in him things you should never have. things you would have gotten killed for revealing if he hadn't already killed your superiors. whatever it was that convinced you to do such a foolish thing, it ruined your life now.
maybe his strange attachment to you wasn't the worst possible outcome. at the very least, there seemed to be hope of you getting out of here alive if his incessant touches and condescending words didn't completely tear you apart.
nikolai is pretty similar to dazai, except he's never been bothered by the job. he likes messing with people, and it helps that you're just to cute! if you're going to freeze every time he places a hand on your back and look all shocked every time he steals a kiss, he's going to actually start liking you, you know? not a temporary arrangement, like in a 'you're-cute-and-i-can-show-you-off' way, but in a 'you're-never-leaving-my-side-and-ill-gladly-kill-everyone-so-you-only-have-me' way. he's that initially annoying and flirty stranger who eventually grows on you, so much so that when he one day puts a hand around you and gleefully announces that he was your boyfriend, despite never having talked to you about this arrangement, you can't find it in you to object. he is sort of cute, with that killer smile. even if he is so reckless you worry for him all the time and has these frightening rounds of jealousy, you supposed it could work out.
he doesn't even need you to finish his task, to be honest. stealing documents and the like was child's play for nikolai. he just wanted an excuse to mess with you while getting paid. oh, but you treating him so genuinely, with so much care...he can't just let anyone else receive that sort of treatment in the unlikely situation he had to break up with you. if he had to kill you after this arrangement, it would be quite a waste, wouldn't it? you were so sweet to him. there were always other ways to make you cry—ways he was sure you'd enjoy almost as much as him. if you didn't...well, you'd just have to learn to like it!
imagine his shock when he comes to visit one day to find you...gone! like you had disappeared from your place overnight. even he hadn't been expecting this turn, after all, the two of you had been getting even closer. was it because he kept insisting on trying some potentially dangerous things in bed? but you'd have talked to him about it first. this was...unlike you. and then he catches sight of the news and realizes someone had leaked out some of his personal history.
oops. he forgot most people weren't comfortable dating a murderer.
too bad you didn't have a choice anymore! he finds you, as expected. with his ability and his understanding of you, it was only a matter of time. thing is, nikolai doesn't really like to threaten you so badly, really. sure, there were those times when he swore he would tear apart anyone who tried to ask you out, and promised to kill everyone you ever dated before him so that he could be the only living person to boast of such an honor. and he did pull out a knife on you a couple times but it was all fun and games! really! this time, not so much.
nikolai had you grabbing onto the edge of his coat while he dangled you over the edge of a skyscraper, having used his ability to bring you here earlier. you were probably too scared to be listening to him, but all he was asking of you was an apology and a promise to never leave him like that again. promise him you'd always be by his side.
he was so worried for you! this was the least you could do to make it up to him.
koyou would be devastated when she realizes what this feeling was. the strange warmth that came from sitting next to you, sharing meals and talking about work, quiet moments together—she was stupid for letting it go this far. and now...now she was in too deep.
if only she had stuck to her goal and only been an acquaintance to you. if only you hadn't shown her such a beautiful sight and the possibility of a warm future together. she couldn't bear losing you, couldn't live knowing she could never hold you as close as she yearned to after this was over.
unless...she took some disastrous action.
she knew you would hate her more than you already did if she brought you into her world. you would hate it there, but she was foolishly hoping her presence would make it a little more bearable. you were so wonderful to her...could you manage to love her just a little more? could you overlook your disgust for her tainted soul and hold her like you did, before the truth came out?
