swaggy swag for a scooby snak
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. At times like this i really wish the universe would kill off the whole world. i’m completely done with every one . not one day goes by and i’m either not having a breakdown of all sorts . i know it will get better but i really just want to disappear, change my name , and move to Hawaii all alone . i feel like i should be alone a lot more because my friends don’t even know if i’m alive, everyone is disappointing me , and every little tiny thing gives me the urge to destroy every thing in my path. its like the people i’m legally allowed to trust and tell my problems to are not taking me serious . HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A LITTLE RESPECT NOWADAYS . when was there a law put in place that my feelings are worth less , when was there a potion change from being someones number one focus to being an old doll on a tall shelf . i’m giving every thing a chance but my feelings are never returned .people say “ don’t change yourself just so people can accept you” but i change on a daily basis and people still treat me like trash . i might as well trow my self away if people don’t have any use for me instead of letting their frustration out on . this is sicking .
schools tomorrow and i have plans to see my councilor asap . sometimes its like their the only person that actually cares (well its their job to care ,but you know what i mean ) i also have plans to keep my self busy just i can ignore a particular group of nerve triggers . i’m also afraid of going back to school hence “they think i’m dead” and all the questions i’m going to get that i’m not prepared for . staying off the radar is my main goal for the school year .
but enough with the negative talk cause i can hear all the “your life is important” and suicide prevention ads coming my way . i dyed my blond back to black because my ‘father’ wants me to look professional (i really wonder who dumb the man can be ) . Elio still lives on cause he was made so i can escape even if i’m still here . i don’t necessarily love my self but ego is still big enough to still call my myself god . that’s about it haha
