Touch: Chapter 2
Pairing: Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Swearing, violence (against reader)
Word Count: 4k
Author’s Note: If all goes according to plan, this series is going to be the longest one yet. I’m excited for it though! Also, bonus points if you can tell me where the non-Star Wars names come from :)
(Part 1)
Chapter 2: Mother’s Love
You straighten your posture as you watch Kylo Ren enter the room. The door quickly closes behind him as he scans the mess you’ve created in the room. Scattered papers, open drawers and cupboards, and various tools laying everywhere. You aren’t sure if the uneasy feeling in your gut was rage or fear; honestly, probably a mix of both. He, however, seems as cool and collected as ever. And he’s silent.
“What do you want?” You ask quietly while keeping your tone firm and even. It wasn’t the first question on your mind, by any means, but it was one worth asking anyway. It was a start.
“Are you angry?” He walks up to one of the droids, examining the damage you had done when you tore it apart, looking for something to pry open the door with.
“I’m sorry, are the other people you kidnap always happy about this situation?” He doesn’t answer. You keep your eyes trained on him.
“I’m surprised you didn’t do more,” he mutters, almost to himself.
“Didn’t wanna waste my energy,” you slide off of the cot to stand. “I want out.” He nods, turning to face you. Though he still wears his mask, you can feel his eyes taking stock of your current state.
“Your quarters will be-“
“My prison?”
Kylo pauses, taking a breath. You notice his fists clench at his sides. “I’ll send someone here to escort you. You’ll have everything you need there.”
“What do you mean?”
“You will work for us. As a medic.”
“So I’m working from my cell?”
“You’ll be staying in a room. You’re our guest, now. You’ll work here when we need you, and when we don’t, you’ll be in your quarters,” he turns, heading to the door. “Understood?” He pauses at the doorway as it slides open.
“I still don’t understand why I’m here,” you press, following Kylo to the door. He turns and stops you in your tracks, stepping backwards into the hallway.
“You will.” He turns and begins to walk away, but pauses. “And you will refer to me as Commander. Is that understood?”
You nod.
Not good enough, apparently.
“Understood?” He asks again, his tone sharper this time.
“Yes, Commander.”
After door closes, you listen to his footsteps fade away. You sigh, running your hands down your face. Sitting on the cot, you take a moment to evaluate the room more carefully. One door, a couple of windows covered by shutters, droids and various devices lining the walls, a few cabinets in a corner, and two other cots. Pretty minimal. They were going to need to get you a lot more supplies if you were going to actually do anything productive here. You take a mental note: ask for a list.
While you wait, you figure if you’re going to work here, you might as well clean the place up to your liking. You start to tidy up the strewn supplies, organizing the room in a way that makes more sense to you while taking other mental notes as you go. About halfway through your work of cleaning and reorganizing, the door opens once again. A trooper stands at the door, which stays open this time.
“I will escort you to your quarters now.” The trooper turns, waiting for you. You nod and begin to follow as they walk through the hallways.
The Finalizer is bustling with people. Troopers jogging through the halls, others standing at doorways, generals carrying whispered conversations in various corners, and plenty of work being done. You walk by a couple of windows and can’t help but pause and stare for a few moments. Countless stars litter the sky while various planets glow in the distance. You hadn’t seen a view like this since-
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
“Chandrila? You couldn’t find anything here in Coruscant?” You shifted in your seat, skimming over the hand-written job description.
“It’s a real competitive field in most places- but especially here. Add in your lack of formal education, and, well-”
“Okay, okay… Is the ship ready to go, then?”
“Once you actually finish packing, yes.” Vilya grabbed one of your duffle bags.
“It would help if your ship had room for bigger bags,” you quipped. “Besides, I’ll probably be back in a couple of months for housekeeping.” You stood, giving everything a once-over. “You sure you can’t stay here for me?”
“It’s your home- I’ve got my own place here- and who knows, you might want some time off every now and again. It should be yours, for whenever you need it.” She picked up another bag of yours. “Well?”
“I’ll meet you out there, I just want to finish up a couple of things and make sure I didn’t forget anything.” You flashed her a smile and headed to your bedroom as she left.
“Don’t take too long! I can’t have you crying the whole way there, miss sentimental!” Vilya called from the ship outside.
“Yeah, yeah!” You brushed her off, looking around your room. Where is it? You sifted through your bookshelves, bed, closet, nightstand- ah, there it is. You pulled out a small green and grey pyramid from the bottom drawer of your nightstand. The notes that had been left for you, both when you first woke up in your house and when the item had been delivered, were still there.
Since you could remember, someone had left small gifts for you. The first time also happened to be your first memory: waking up in your current home. A note was laid beside you next to a necklace containing a blue crystal. It was addressed with what you assumed was your name. Then, it read: “You’re from the Sehanine family. You are home.” Since then, the necklace had remained around your neck at all times. From what you gathered, you were about ten at the time, and your parents had suddenly disappeared. You’d been living in Coruscant, picking up any freelance work you could find, ever since.
A couple years ago, this pyramid… thing… had been dropped off at your doorstep with another note in the same handwriting, which read: “In case of absolute emergency, go here. You will be safe.” In all honesty, you didn’t understand, but you held onto it anyway. A part of you hoped the notes were from family- maybe even your parents- yet, when you asked around, everyone swore they didn’t recognize the handwriting, or the family name.
Your head snapped up at the sound of your name being called. “Coming!” You picked up your bags and went to your parents’ bedroom, setting everything on their bed. Despite the fact that you had been living alone for the past 10 years, you hadn’t touched your parents’ bedroom. Sure, you’d clean it or spend a few hours in there from time to time hoping to feel some sort of connection to them; but other than that, it was left alone. You made a hidden panel in the back wall and pulled it out before setting the pyramid and the two notes inside newly created pocket. You closed the panel carefully, ensuring it was secure and unnoticeable, and left the bedroom.
“There you are! I was starting to worry you had changed your mind or something.” Vilya said with a smile as she hopped into the small aircraft. You got in after her and placed your bags in the back of the cockpit.
“Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting an excuse to leave for years,” you said as you strapped yourself in next to your friend.
“Alright. You ready to see space?” She turned to you, her smile bright as ever.
“Ready as I can be.”
The two of you took off, leaving Coruscant for the first time. Looking down at the planet, you felt a sense of awe. Clusters of light covered the city-planet as if it had its very own set of stars. However, looking up, you saw that the view around you was even more incredible. For the first time in your life, you weren’t looking up at the black sea of space and all the stars scattered within it- you were looking among them.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Vilya finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of you soon after Coruscant disappeared in the sea of the rest of the galaxy.
“It’s incredible… I can see now why you’re always itching to fly.”
“It can be addicting; but it makes being home even more special, too.”
The two of you talked for a long while during the flight to Chandrila. You learned more about Vilya’s personal life, her found family, and her goals in the future. Meanwhile, you told her more about growing up on your own, hoping to someday find your parents- or at least remember them. You were thankful for Vilya. She had been your closest friend, seemingly finding you out of the blue shortly after your parents left you. She helped you learn the ropes around Coruscant, finding work and getting to know important people that could help you later on. She always seemed to be there when you needed her most. It was going to be weird living on a new planet, working without her around every day. The two of you promised to see each other on Coruscant at least once a year, though. That was reassuring.
When you landed at the village in Chandrila, Vilya helped you unpack and set up your little tent. The two of you met most of the civilians and even took a quick visit at the nearby city. It wasn’t anything like your home, but it was still a pleasant place to live. You had a good feeling. Things were finally going to really looking up for you.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
“Here we are,” the trooper announces as the door in front of you slides open.
“Oh,” you blink a few times, fading out of your mental walk down memory lane, “thank you.” You step into the room. It’s a simple living space. A window out into space, a couple of nightstands surrounding the queen-sized bed, your own bathroom, a small kitchen, and a dining area off in one corner. Everything is very plain and dark in color. It sure isn’t going to feel like a home, but admittedly, it is better than a prison cell.
“Is there anything else you’ll need?” The trooper asks, still standing at the door.
“Um… oh, yes, I’ll need some supplies for my work.” The trooper nods to the table in the back corner.
“Make a list on the pad, you’ll have everything you need soon.” The trooper leaves and the door closes.
You take a walk around the room, looking through all of the amenities. The bathroom and kitchen have been stocked full with toiletries, towels, food, dishes, and pretty much anything else you’d think you may need. The dresser is full of new clothes- various black and grey robes and other clothing items- and extra pillows and blankets are stored in one of the nightstands. The other nightstand is empty, with a simple clock sitting atop the surface.
You’re not sure what time it would be on Chandrila, but your eyelids feel rather heavy. You still need to make a list before calling it a night; but for now, you could really use a long shower.
You take your time, letting the hot water ease the tension in your body. For the first time in a long while, you feel completely clean; you make a promise to yourself not to take the feeling for granted. The towels are softer than you thought they would be. You wrap one around your body and step out into the main room, sifting through the dresser for something comfortable to sleep in. Though your options are limited, you find something you can make work to your liking. As you walk back to the bathroom, something catches your eye in your peripheral.
You gasp.
Kylo.
Standing on the other side of the room… Staring at the wall? And he’s talking… but not to you.
“What the hell are you doing here?” You ask quietly, your heart pounding.
He turns to you, his hands moving up to his helmet.
And he disappears.
Letting out a shaky breath, you hurriedly scan the room for any signs of him.
“Kylo?”
No response.
You rush back into the bathroom and lock the door. When you come out, you double check the room to make sure it’s empty. You walk over to the wall Kylo stood at, inspecting it. Is there some kind of hidden panel? Was it some kind of jedi trick? Hmm. No, the wall is solid. There’s no way he got in here other than through the door. So… Oh, whatever, now is not the time to figure out what kind of tricks people like Kylo try to pull around here.
You sit down at the table and familiarize yourself with the tablet that you’ve been provided with. You create a document with a list of all the supplies you’d need, most of them being easily retrievable from Chandrila. You stand and move to the door- which does, in fact, open on its own- and hand the tablet to the trooper standing outside your door. The trooper nods, taking the tablet from you. You take a step back and watch the door close before moving to your bed.
Though you’re fairly certain that no one else is in your quarters, you can’t help but scan the room every now and again. Why would he just… come in like that? You look out the window for a while and watch the stars go by. Maybe it would just be better not to think about it. Maybe the space travel and lack of sleep was getting to you. With a yawn, you decide to try to sleep instead of overthinking everything that had just happened.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
You wake up to an alarm you didn’t realize was set on the clock beside your bed. You think back to Coruscant, thankful for growing up on the one planet that determines the time, and for the little piece of home that found you even here- wherever you are.
You get ready for the day and make yourself a sort of breakfast. You hear a noise outside your door and rush to look, but much to your confusion it doesn’t open this time. You knock on the metal and call out, “Hello?”
The door slides open as a trooper stands in the middle of the doorway. He offers you the tablet upon seeing you, assuming that was the reason you came out. Unsure of what else to do, you simply take it with a quiet ‘thank you’ before heading back to the small table. While you eat, you spend some time on your tablet, waiting for something to happen. Anything.
But nothing does.
No messages on your tablet.
No random appearances from Kylo Ren.
No troopers coming to check on you.
Minutes melded into hours, hours melded into days, and days went on and on with seemingly nothing. You went from one chaotic, awful day to a long, constant cycle of making food, pacing your room, looking through the tablet, dressing and undressing and redressing, over and over again. You even decide to start a sort of journal for the sake of having something to do, and something to keep you company, in a sense. Though it helps some, it doesn’t make the difference you had hoped for. The days would still drag on at a snail’s pace.
To be fair, realistically, it had probably been about week at most; but it feels like an eternity, and you’ve had enough. As you write in your journal, a thought comes to mind: no one important would know if I left, right? You stand, smoothing down your clothes and fixing up your dining area a bit before heading to the door and realizing you’ll have to ask the trooper for permission. I just want to explore for a little while- that can’t hurt, right? You sigh. It doesn’t hurt to try. You walk up to the door, and much to your surprise, it opens. Just as you prepare to step out into the hallway, you realize someone is standing right there.
Kylo Ren, now just inches away from you.
“Oh, you knew I was coming?” He asks. Despite his words, his voice seems mostly devoid of emotion. You clear your throat, taking a breath to calm your racing heart.
“Commander,” You respond simply, taking a step back. “What brings you here?” His hands go up to his helmet, and he finally removes it.
Oh.
Oh.
So… that’s what he looks like. For someone like him, he’s… Not as evil-looking as you had expected. His dark eyes are soft, and loose dark curls splayed around his head, framing his face. In spite of his soft appearance, he looks tired and troubled.
“May I come in?”
His voice is so much softer without the distortion of his helmet. You nod, stepping to the side.
“The supplies you requested are in med bay, at your disposal.”
You nod again.
“Are you comfortable here?”
You look down at the floor in front of your feet.
“You are allowed to speak.”
You look back up at him. “I need to leave the room during the day. There’s nothing to do here. If this really isn’t supposed to be a prison, you need to let me out-“
“Consider it done,” he interjects, “but only under constant supervision.”
You nod.
A few moments of silence pass.
You can’t tell if he’s expecting you to say something, but he doesn’t leave. It seems like there’s something else on his mind.
“Is there anything you need, or can you go now?” You finally ask, breaking the heavy, awkward silence.
“Yes, actually.” He sits down at your small table. “Tell me about yourself.”
You pause, staring at him, confusion immediately written all over your features. Did he really just ask…? “O-okay.”
He motions to the seat across from him.
You sit, facing him, fidgeting with your hands.
Though he keeps his eyes fixed on you, you can’t get yourself to meet his gaze.
“Well… my name is-“
He finishes your sentence for you as your full name falls from his lips. “Yes, I know,” he adds. “Where are you from?”
“Coruscant.”
“Who are your parents?”
You pause. “I don’t know.”
He stops at this, and you watch as a wave of emotions pass over his face. Unreadable, yes, but many are there regardless. For a moment, you wonder if you’d be able to hear his thoughts again should you try. You decide against it; for now, at least. Finally, he speaks once again.
“You’re an orphan?”
“In a sense.” You glance up at him, quickly reverting your eyes back to the floor.
His facial expression urges you to elaborate.
“They disappeared when I was young. I don’t remember anything before I was 10.”
He nods, his mind reeling. “Would you like me to try to remember for you?”
“You…” You finally meet his gaze. “You can do that?”
“I believe so.”
“But… How? Why?”
“The force has somehow brought us together. I’d like to find out why.”
“The force?” Your expression quickly falls from hopeful to doubtful. The force, as far as you know, is a myth consisting of mostly wishful thinking. Like magic. Or a god. Or both? You remember it was something that the old Jedi and Sith orders were all about. It was pretty clear to you that it was totally illogical. Then again, he does seem to have an unnatural set of abilities…
“I can sense your concern. I assure you, I only want to help.”
“As far as I’m aware, all you care about is yourself. Once I’m no longer useful to you, you’ll get rid of me.”
“And if I promise not to?”
“Like I can trust you,” you retort, rolling your eyes.
“Do you have a choice?”
You freeze. No… I don’t have a choice, do I? You take a deep breath.
Before you can speak, an intense pressure pulsates in the front of your head- a familiar one.
Your eyes snap to Kylo’s. You change your mind. “Yes.” You push him back, anger beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach. You watch as his expression hardens from curiosity to determination, but you don’t budge. “Stay. Out. Of. My. Head.” You command with strain, pushing into his own mind. You begin to gather what you can. Fear… Anger… Pain, lots of pain... Someone is calling for him… a woman… his mother… Ben?
“Stop!” Kylo wails, his hand striking your cheek.
You cry out, holding your stinging cheek in one hand. Suddenly, the realization dawns on you: you’ve seen this before… you saw this exact moment when-
Kylo abruptly stands, picking up his helmet and leaving the room.
The room falls silent.
Alone again, all you can think about is how his mother misses him. How she longs to see him again. He knows that. Why isn’t he doing anything about it?
If only my mother were the same.
You sit in silence as tears roll down your reddened cheek, drumming on the floor.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Over the following weeks, you spend most of your time in your room or at med bay, patching up nasty wounds for various soldiers. Although Kylo has come in every now and again with injuries, he always gravitates towards the droids. Even if he does let you tend to him, he won’t speak. All you get are simple nods, hums of agreement or disagreement, and if you’re lucky, he’ll mutter ‘thank you’ in monotone before he leaves.
You do take full advantage of leaving your room, however. The trooper that almost always guards your door and escorts you around The Finalizer has become the closest thing you have to a friend. You learn that her operating number is VY-107, so you’ve taken to calling her Vy.
Though you aren’t thrilled about the idea of spending the rest of your days going through the motions on this ship, you are at least thankful to not have to worry about money. Food is always stocked in your kitchen, you have a nice bedroom to yourself, and you still have something to do to fill your time. You’ve even picked up a couple of books to read every now and again, learning more about the history of various planets and some tales of the ‘powerful’ Jedi and Sith; but those books are, of course, kept in secret and taken with a grain of salt.
Every week or so, Kylo tries to get into your memories again. Though you now know better than to push back into his mind, you do still manage to keep him out. Admittedly, it gets annoying, but you’ve learned that, of everything you’ve lost in your life, the one thing you will always have is an iron will.
Everything seemed to settle into a sort of routine; one that you don’t mind all that much. Every day was similar, easy, and not much surprised you anymore- at least, until today.
You wake up early, as per usual, but as you get ready for the day, something feels off. You’re not sure why, but you just have this strange feeling in your gut that something is going to happen today; that today is going to be different. You try your best to brush it off as you grab your bag and head to the door. It takes a moment, but eventually the door slides open.
“Good morning, Vy,” you greet your escort with a slightly exaggerated smile.
“Good morning.” The trooper turns to you as your door closes. “To med bay?”
“Of course.”
You settle into med bay, checking over patient records and supplies for the day. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to focus. Your mind keeps drifting back to that feeling. That gut feeling. Today is different.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Kylo quickly walks into the throne room to meet with Supreme Leader Snoke. Whatever Snoke wants him for, it seems urgent. Kylo kneels and the two briefly exchange greetings.
“You will be rather pleased to learn that I have gathered new knowledge about the girl,” Snoke announces, his voice echoing against the plain dark walls of the room.
Kylo stands.
“But as I recall, it was your duty to find out more.”
“I’m trying. She doesn’t seem to know it, but the force is strong with her.”
“Very.” Snoke pauses, silently preparing Kylo for his next words. “She is the granddaughter of a Jedi Master; Obi Wan Kenobi.”
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
You’re sitting on one of the cots in med bay with a battle-worn trooper, finishing up with the patching on a small wound when the door to opens, announcing the arrival of someone new.
“You should be good as new in a couple days’ time,” you note softly. The trooper nods, whispering a small thank you before replacing his helmet and leaving the room. You pick up your tablet to complete the report and turn to the door. “Commander,” you greet nonchalantly, typing the remainder of the report and submitting it. Wordless, he remains at the door. You look up at him, setting your tablet to the side. “Can I help you?”
“Come with me,” he commands as Vy walks in to escort you.
“What? Why?” He remains silent as you stand and starts walking down the hall. You look to Vy, who offers no answer before urging you to move. You follow Kylo through a few hallways before he brings you to The Finalizer’s landing dock. He leads you onto a smaller ship and into the cockpit, a couple other troopers following the two of you and standing at the door. He sits, and you follow suit.
“Commander, will you at least tell me where we’re going?”
Kylo starts up the ship, and as you fly out of the Finalizer, he answers.
“Tattooine.”
(Part 3)
