#kyrau

[fratboykate]

Royalty!AU Kate getting jacked from having actual food available to her while she hunts and shit.

Yelena learning she is in fact, no better than a peasant woman when her wife hauls a deer in.

Kate learning slowly that it is NOT in fact, customary for a wife to bathe their hunter when they return from the woods. In a closed room. Alone. Naked. Slowly.

My god. One of them is so incredibly dumb and the other is so perpetually horny. Match made in heaven. Just…sex. No thoughts. Ever. For either of them.

[fratboykate]

Royalty!AU Kate knows how to do 4 things:

1. Shoot arrows

2. Eat

3. Eat( >=] )

4. Rail her wife like its their last night on earth.

She doesn't have brain power for anything else. Not one thing.

[fratboykate]

FBAU and RAU have the raunchiest Yelena’s just because they have expectations and images to protect in public but the moment they get there tall, dumb, bottom of a wife in the bedroom then the utter filth that spills from their mouths would make a nun blush especially if it’s in Russian. Now anytime Kate hears her speaking Russian? She has to fight her lizard brain to keep upright

Did you mean BGAU instead of FBAU? just confused by the “expectations and images to protect” bit because that def sounds more like BGAU. BUT…i agree that filthy mouthed Yelena is top tier.

[fratboykate]

So which Kate is dumbest? Like absolutely would die if no one checked on her because she wouldn't understand the pink chicken is raw, not "pink Starburst."

idk if it's because it's fresh in my mind since we've been talking about it lately but probably RAU? that kate doesn't even have the usual last two brain cells to rub together. its a single one and its not even firing on all cylinders

[fratboykate]

Yelena hires a guard specifically for Kate before they have their own children solely to watch her “But we don’t have babies yet.”

“We don’t, it’s for you.” And Kate gives her that no braincell stare where her eyes don’t even blink together before asking her why “Because the last time I left you alone? You managed to get lost in the woods for two days, nearly starting a war with one of the neighboring castles.” Yelena ignores the fact that she thought her adorable wife had been kidnapped with Kate just answering “But it was (insert wild animal here) migration and I wanted to see them before they left for the winter.” To which baffles Yelena “You know what migration is but not about the history of our nation???” Not to mention Kate has a tendency of getting herself locked into random and weird places or breaking various bones. The sweet big dumb dumb that she is. And Yelena does feel bad because she worries she might be infantilizing her wife but Kate has common sense to realize Yelena is just trying to keep her safe. That lizard brain of hers might be running on E but she has sense enough to know Yelena isn’t making fun of her and just wants her safe

Lizard brain running on E LMAO. At least she knows Yelena's overzealousness is out of love.

[fratboykate]

Do you think on the RoyalAU she sticks bells on their kids too so she can here them. I still find it so funny that you have Kate who’s probably super clumsy and runs into things in their bedroom because she’s constantly tripping over her shoes skulls around the castle

The kids ABSOLUTELY get bells lol. Toddlers can sneak away faster than fully grown Kate. Everyone gets bells. Yelena needs eyes and/or ears on them at all times.

[fratboykate]

Kate with a bell in the Royal AU because she doesn’t make sound when she’s skulking around the castle always makes me giggle

Dude I read that ask and LOST IT yesterday. The visual is just so funny. Kate with a little bell necklace. Like a cat. Just so Yelena doesn't die of a heart attack one day.

[fratboykate]

The royal AU! Yelena really went full morosexual in this one. Kate is her lovable buffoon and Yelena can't take it

I cackle every time y'all call Yelena (or Melina) a "morosexual" because she like SO IS.