we creep up on extinction, i pull your arms right in
i weep and say “goodnight, love,” while my organs pack it in
and here it is, our final night alive
and as the earth burns to the ground, oh girl, it's you that i lie with
as the atom bomb locks in
oh, it's you i watch tv with
as the world, as the world caves in
⤷ l lawliet x reader
⤷ soft angst, implied character death (takes place right before L dies), title and lyrics from matt maltese’s “as the world caves in”
those damn bells. he’s heard them all day long.
it started as distracting and has now escalated to pissing him off.
as if ryuzaki didn’t already have enough to deal with. he’s in his prime, at the peak of this case, so very close to solving it all.
and now this, these damn bells.
you’d noticed his increased irritability today. oh, how he’d felt like crying after he’d snapped at you earlier. all you had done was ask if he was feeling alright, offered to maybe bring him some cake, and he’d written you off with a snippy tone and a sarcastic comment.
guilt shriveled up his heart like a punch to the gut.
of course it’s not your fault. you’re not a detective, and you definitely didn’t hear the bells. even if you did, you’d have no idea what they meant in any case.
he wishes he could tell you. now that he knows what’s coming, what was inevitable in every universe, there is so much he wishes he could tell you. but he still can’t, there’s just not enough time. that’s always the problem, isn’t it?
he’s already made his final preparations. have watari arrange to delete the files, contact roger, alert the orphanage. it’s all in order.
he’s made his own arrangements, too. a letter with his final words to you, everything he’s always wanted to say and never could. you’ll find it tomorrow morning, probably.
there’s really nothing else to do now but wait.
you’re already asleep when he comes shuffling into the bedroom, the patter of water droplets following him in.
you stir as he pads toward you, as if you can sense him even in your dreams. you sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and call out to him in a soft voice. it’s a tone he only ever hears when you say his name.
“you’re soaking wet,” you murmur, cupping his face between your hands as you look him over. his eyes are fixed on the spot between your brows where a concerned crease is growing. “what on earth were you doing?”
“up on the roof,” he whispers back. “just thinking. no need to be so worried, love.”
“i always worry about you,” you remind him, thumbs stroking his cheeks as you give him a soft smile. “that’s my job. i think you’ve been overworking yourself lately. i know you can’t help it, but you ought to at least take decent care of yourself.”
he gives no response aside from a low hum. he’s quiet as you towel him dry with gentle hands, get him out of his sopping clothes and into comfortable pajamas.
you’re brushing his damp hair back with your fingers, tracing the lines of his face like you’re trying to memorize it with your touch, when he speaks in a quiet voice.
“i’m sorry i snapped at you earlier.”
you blink, surprised. you’d just about forgotten it already.
“is that what’s got you in this mood?” you muse, crawling into bed to sit beside him. not just that, he thinks as his hands find yours, resting in your lap. but that’s about the only thing i can apologize for right now. he can’t bring himself to meet your eyes.
“it’s okay, ryuzaki,” you tell him, and he feels the warmth and kindness in your voice.
no it’s not.
“i shouldn’t have spoken to you that way,” he insists quietly, staring down at your interlocked hands.
“really, ryuzaki, i’m not upset. you’ve been overworked and stressed and i should’ve let you be.”
“i love you,” he says, his black hole eyes staring right through your soul. it doesn’t scare you. it never has.
“i love you too, ryuzaki. let’s go to bed, okay? you’ll feel better tomorrow.”
he really wishes that were true, but he lets you pull him down to rest beside you anyway. he treasures the way your body curls against his, the warmth of you beside him.
he tries to internalize it all. the smell of your shampoo, the faint humming of his computer in the corner, the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.
his fingers are ghostly gentle as they trace over the soft planes of your face. his heart tugs when your eyes crinkle with a little smile.
“what are you looking at me like that for?” you ask in a whisper.
it takes him a second to respond, lost in your eyes. “you’re…the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.”
you stifle a little giggle into the pillow, basking in this rare affection. you have no idea what tomorrow holds—the agony the coming days, weeks, years will be for you.
what a small miracle the marginal odds of you two finding each other were. what a little tragedy it is that it was never something fated to last.
but fate has no place here tonight. in the safety of this bedroom, with the rain pouring heavy outside and the man you love—the intangible, elusive enigma that is L transformed into the quiet, thoughtful, lovely man that you know as ryuzaki—at your side, you are happy.
dividers by @/saradika-graphics — because i love angst apparently?? kitty drops two bangers in one day, what are the odds. if you’re looking for fluff to fix this please check out daydream or my retired detective!L headcanons (where he lives!!) much love and take care, - 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢 !
OH YES I LOVE YOU WHAT A GOOD IDEA
Very sorry it took so long, I had family over.
SPOILERS AHEAD
3rd person Misa POV
Trigger Warning: Mentions of Su!c!de
Word count: 1200
Codependency
Misa Amane was always everyones dream girl. Blonde, cute, young, clingy. And loyal, certainly. Loyal to her boyfriend, Light Yagami. Oh dear gosh, she is just infatuated with him. Her supposed Knight in Shining Armour. But it's been difficult lately, well, it's been difficult from the start. No, she shouldn't have that attitude, she should be grateful she has such a great boyfriend! Really, he's so um.. Handsome, and ambitious and smart! Really, just perfect.
But she can't ignore the deep, sinking feeling in her chest. The anxiety. The horrendous thoughts. No matter how hard she tries, she just can't seem to block out. They all tell her the same thing, they remind her that every advance she's made has been rejected. Every time she even tries to show her affection, she's pushed away. It's always the same response!
"Misa, just shut up and do as I told you!"
"Misa, what do you mean, soulmate?"
"Misa, you have to go home now."
After all the attention and help she's given him, it's almost as if he doesn't care about her at all! Even after all she's done. And what she will continue to do, she will always work for his attention. But he's joined the Kira taskforce, and now there's even less and less of his attention, the only time he ever does want to talk to her is for her help as the second Kira.
But thats alright, its understandable that he's busy! He has to keep up appearances, he's fixing the world, after all. She could be a perfect girlfriend. Give him the time and space. He so obviously wants it, after all.
But Misa had recently brought a beautiful new dress, and she needed to show it to him. It would have to catch his attention. A cute little red thing. Strapless and cut low enough to show some cleavage and a skirt lands just above her knee, with the nicest lace trim. It's alluring. She brought a pair of delicate stockings to match. Some cute, thick mary-janes? Or maybe some some knee high, gothic boots? She chooses the mary-janes. Add some bold, red lipstick and eyeliner. Gosh, it's all so pretty. She poses and twirls in front of the mirror, giggling like a little girl. "Surely Light will like this!"
She makes her way down to where Light and the rest of the task force is working. Every head turns to stare at her in her dress. Every head except Light's. Hmph. She walks up behind him and wraps her arms around his shoulder. "Liiiight." She says. "Do you like my dress?"
"Misa, I'm busy, go away." He pushes her off sharply, not even bothering to look at her. She sits at one of the chairs with a pout, and she's really, really, trying to ignore the tears stinging her eyes, and the way her throat seems to be caught on a breath. Why can't he just love her? All these other men looked at her, why won't he?
Most of them have turned away now, probably trying to be respectful. But one of them is still looking at her. Ryuzaki. His eyes have been latched on hers since she entered, and only when he realizes she's staring back does he turn away. But not before she notices the blush forcing it's way onto his face. It makes her blush in return.
Misa sits there for a long time, maybe she's waiting for Light to finish working and pay some attention to her, her expectations aren't high though. They weren't met either when the amount of people in the room trickle away. Light too leaves, without saying good night. Just leaving her and Ryuzaki. The feeling in her eyes and throat has subsided by now, and she makes her way to sit on the chair next to him, in hopes of some conversation.
"Aren't you going to bed?" She says.
"I will later." He replies. "I'm going back over the previous murders commited by Kira. They're seeming to increase in tactic, rather than just killing because the victims just because they're bad people. He's seeming to plan more and more." Ryuzaki points at some analytics on the screen, none of which Misa understands. But it is nice to talk to someone.
"Is your main suspect still Light?" She asks, because she still needs to help her boyfriend.
"Yes." He replies.
Misa begins to ramble, because surely Light would want her to defend him, right? "But Light would never do something like that! And he's such a great person and-"
"Misa." He interrupts.
"Yes?"
"Why would you dedicate yourself to Light? Has he not shown he has no care for you?"
"What!? How dare you, of course Light cares for me!! I'm the love of his life!"
Ryuzaki pauses, thinking. "I didn't intend to offend you. What I'm saying is.." He hesitates. "You can find yourself someone a lot better. Someone who genuinly appreciates you, I'm not sure if you realize, but Light has been using you. From the start."
Of course Misa had known. But hearing it said so bluntly was a slap in the face. Especially from Ryuzaki.
"Ryuzaki.. When you said you could fall for me.. Was that really true?" Her voice has dropped to a near whisper.
Ryuzaki takes a long while to reply, but he hasn't broken eye contact the entire time. "It's becoming increasingly likely, yes."
These few words are the final trigger, they just push the tears out of her eyes uncontrollably. A sob breaks out of her body. Her hands cover her face, but Ryuzaki grabs her wrists and pulls them away. She can't deny that she has feelings for him too, but she's never felt that someone could love her back.
But that's not the reason she's crying. No, not at all. She awkwardly falls against him on the chair, and his arms move to hold her shoulders tightly, stabilizing her against him. He stares at her in such a wrecked state. Nobody speaks for such a long time, the sobs echoing through the room.
Ryuzaki is the first to speak. "Misa.. Why are you crying like this?"
"I shouldn't tell you." She chokes out. His hand rubs soothing circles into her back. Light has never done anything like this, never done anything to make her feel happy, to never even make her feel like a real person! She shouldn't protect him anymore. "Light's Kira!" She finally yells, and her sobbing increases. When Ryuzaki doesn't say anything, she continues. "And.. I've been helping him this entire time. I'm the second Kira. I'm so, so sorry Ryuzaki, I never should've done it! I just thought Light would love me more and now everything's ruined!" Ryuzaki's hands stop it's movement, and his change in energy is so starkingly harsh.
"I'm afraid I can't just let that go." His voice is still. Achingly so. Oh, Misa, why would you go and say that? Just because someone finally showed you the slightest bit of affection, you go ahead and let the guilt take control of you, just because you can't stand to be independent! What is wrong with you? "I'm very sorry. But I have a duty to keep." He pulls her in for a final, bone-crushing hug.
A year from then. She's in a maximum security prison, for life. Every day seems to past by the same. She heard that Light had commited suicide, and she's had thoughts of copying him. Theres not much here for her. She's not angry at Ryuzaki. He had a job to do, she should've known that. At least she does know that someone loved her.
ive been deep diving into angst, and its pride month so... Fem!Simon angst heheheheh
Fem!Simon x Fem!Reader
tw: cursing, unhealthy fighting, unhealthy relationship, bad reader for being mean, bad simon for overreacting, bad communication, threatening eachother, and of course they are still together at the end because of drinking. you've been warned my dude. (NONE OF THIS IS CANON TO MY FEM!SIMON UNIVERSE! this is merely for shits and giggles)
You promised yourself you wouldn't cry.
Here you were, 3rd fucking day in a row, fighting with Simon again. Red faced and angry Simon, when really the whole argument was your fault. It's not like you meant to be a bitch all week, but.. You were.
None of your arguments really meant anything more than well, and then a boring excuse followed. A pattern you have, to just be all defensive and not really try to be all that constructive.
"I mean, shit, babe, just be a decent human for once!" Simon cursed, gesturing wildly to herself, "I fucking get pissy all the time, but you don't see me being a bitch about it!"
You scoff, crossing you arms in a defensive way. "So name calling is where we are now? Really?"
"Oh get your head out of your ass, you're more of a preschooler than me." Simon retorted, standing up. "God damn, why the hell do we have to fight like this?"
"Maybe because you get all pissed over nothing-?"
"Over nothing?" Simon is quick to interrupt, to interject. You nodded, staring at her like she had to heads. "So talking to another girl isn't anything to, I dunno, lose my head over?!"
"I wasn't talking to her, fuck face! You just didn't want to keep fucking reading into it so you made a fuckin' assumption!" You throw out a weak reply. "It meant nothing other than some playful banter, you know that."
"Oh do I?" She approaches you, grabbing your arm. You yank it away, only for her to grab both. "You're always causing problems!"
"You're always making shit into problems!" You counter, shoving her away. She shoves your shoulder.
"Don't fucking act like that."
You flip her off, before storming into your room. You two have been getting more physical, and it was obvious.
It was a toxic relationship, maybe you should try and look for.. An out?
Who are you kidding.
Simon drank heavily that night, deciding to sleep on the couch rather than see your almost cheating ass for the rest of the night. You, however, couldn't really sleep that good after the fight. Sometimes you wish Simon would hit you so you could have an out, because you can't really leave without both of your reputations going down in the friend group.
You climb out of bed, and quietly move to the couch, smelling the liquor radiating from Simon.
"Si?" You asked quietly, head lowered. She huffed a questioning sound, before you moved to sit in her lap. Her gaze darkened, and you cupped her face with your hands. You kissed her lips softly, before dragging your hand down her chest.
gooooood morning, I just had this thought so decided to send it before I forgot; would u write something kinda angsty about L’s s/o who panics about how fast their relationship is going and tries to break up with him but he doesn’t want to? (Gender neutral, and maybe L is more anxious/sad then angry?) thank you ✨💕
You stand in the doorway, apprehensive as you listen to the clack of fingers on a keyboard.
Slowly, you make your way into the room and sit down next to L. He throws you a sideway glance with a small smile of acknowledgement and your heart skips a beat.
“L, can…can we talk?”
He nods with his eyes still fixated on his computer.
“I think… it’d be best if we broke up…”
L chokes and turns to you with an astonished expression.
“Why do you think that? I was under the impression everything was going smoothly..”
You can see the doubt creeping into his punctured heart and you move to mend it, move to hug him like you always do but you know that’ll do more damage than good so you hold yourself back.
“It’s not you.. really. I think it’s all going so fast, you’ve got more important priorities and things to do and there wouldn’t be any time for me and once you stop acting like you want me around you, it’s going to feel like you never did. I can’t do that again, I can’t have love fizzle out with someone i genuinely enjoy being around. I don’t want to loose you just because the romance fades.”
L listens patiently, he watches your saddened face, your shaking hands, your legging bouncing, your teeth pulling the skin of your lip as you await a reply.
“You think that I only act as though I want you around, and that I don’t actually?”
You wished he had ignored that part, it’s always hard to ask someone if you’re being a burden because that makes you feel even more like one for them having to comfort you. You drop eye contact and stare at the rip in your pants.
“I know you do, L. I can see it. You’re never enthusiastic about me, even in your own way. You don’t tell me I’m attractive without prompt and you only ever look at me like you care about me when I listen to you talk. It feels like it’s not even a relationship, I’m just someone who listens and who puts your job at risk, someone close to L would endanger his identity anyway.”
L thinks for a moment.
“That’s about three reasons, all three I can debunk. I do want to be around you, although it may not be obvious due to my lack of romantic relationships in my past, and I do think you’re attractive, I just thought it was an obvious fact that didn’t need reinstatement. You only see me looking at you during those times because the other times I do, you’re not paying attention to my facial features.”
L took a breath and then decided to reach for your hand with a calming smile.
“And I am enthusiastic about you, it’s simply internal. I will try to make it more external though. Nobody is smart enough to assume that I am L and you are my lover, besides I have safely protocols in place that I created myself incase there where to be any situation where my identity were to be compromised. Last point, if you think our romantic relationship is going too fast, you should’ve told me. I simply assumed since we were friends before it, it would be essentially the same with the occasional romance. Obviously, that was a misjudgment. Because I trust you, I’m willing to let you correct me where I fail, as this is new territory for me. Now that that’s solved, is there anything else?”
Your misery slowly morphed into contentment and relaxation, you shook your head and sighed, ready to apologize.
L recognized your face and pulled you into a hug. “It’s okay, my dear, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I hear you, I love you.”
You let your body go limp on L’s face in his shoulder, and he slyly snuck a sweet up to your lips with his hand, a tiny grin barely visible on his face as you accepted it.
Thank you everyone for all your votes, I really appreciate it. 😭🙏 Part 2 is now finished however I may or may not add more.👀 (I'm the epitome of lazy and unpredictable).
