#label discussion

[evolvedclown]

i think alot of people online genuinely don’t understand what being queer is bc what do you mean he/him lesbians shouldn’t exist? yes i am talking about this again.

do you not know about all of the lesbians before us (decades and centuries before us) who would pretend to be men or even transition into men just so that they could be with their gfs/wives? all the old butches that call themselves boys and men but are still definitely lesbians? all the genderqueer lesbians that take t or id as transmasc or present completely masculine? the lesbians that prefer to be called your boyfriend or husband? they have always been here and you getting all of your queer information solely from tiktok or the first post you see online is not going to change that.

if you have your definition of a label that fits you, that’s amazing! it really is/srs. but that doesn’t mean that a label doesn’t have a different meaning for others. that’s how things work. everyone’s got their own nuance and it can conflict with others but the whole point of being queer is discovering who you are and loving it. not because it make sense, but because it feels right.

[imoga-pride]

Is there a label for being transmasc-aligned?

it's used, so yes. not that it was formally made a flag for it specifically yet.

transphoebian would be a term I guess. let me tag @neopronouns to know what he thinks of this term (or if he knows a word for that). comment: not sure if transphoebian would be exactly a better term for this, since I feel that transsolarian, for instance, would mean transtidal-aligned. transtidal includes those who are neither transmasc or trans man but are trans and masc or man in some way, for example.

[askyeline]

Holy shit, guys, I think I'm a soft butch.

[evolvedclown]

i think another reason i kept denying im a lesbian is bc most lesbian centered media is about wlw or feminine presenting nb’s. unless im specifically looking for it, you never really see anything but pretty, femme, she/her lesbians as the forefront of lesbians. So when i remembered that butch lesbians exist and that he/him lesbians are a legit thing and not just a rage bait point that people like to use to invalidate certain genderqueer/gnc lesbians, it became a lot easier to accept myself.

i use any pronouns and i want to start t but im nonbinary and like girls and others in a gay way. if you’ve read other posts i’ve written you’ll see that i’ve tried to convince myself over and over that i still like men but it’s really just aestheticlly. if you id as a man, i usually lose any interest in you past what you aesthetically look like. unless its a guy that i convince myself is a lesbian bc that’s the vibe he gives off. like percy jackson (i will not expand on this)

i really needed to go back to our queer roots and look at all of the lesbians of the past that identified/presented as men solely to be with their women lovers. or butch/butch relationships where they call eachother their boyfriend.

lesbians have always been gnc and we need to start accepting that there are more types of lesbians than just she/her fem4fem or fem4masc (the masc being like, ellie williams at most bc after that it gets too much for some people) relationships bc it ostracizes the lesbians at the beginning of it all that dressed like men and used he/him pronouns and went by different names so they could be safe with their wives. or the lesbians that grew out all their body hair and shortened their names and buzzed their heads to rebel against societal norms for women but also bc that’s just how they wanted to look.

let’s maybe stop with all the label/pronoun discorse bc all it does is divide us as a whole and make it easier for queerphobic people to attack us.

being queer is about being. stop making people feel bad for wanting to be.

if you don’t understand it, that’s kinda the point. you don’t need to understand someone else’s experience to accept it. if it’s different than yours, then so be it. no one’s experiences are going to be the same.