I love you Morgause. I love you Elaine of Corbenic. I love you Amurfina. I love you Morgan le Fay. I love you Hellawes the Sorceress. I love you Brisen. I love you Guinevere. I love you False Guinevere/Gwenhwyfach. I love you Lynette. I love you Claire. I love you Isolde of Ireland. I love you Brunissen. I love you Ladies of the Lake. I love you Ettarde. I love you Orgeluse. I love you Bloie of Malehaut.
Never have I ever been more amused in reading Book VII of Parzival in Spanish. Essentially, Parzival kicks the arse of all of Orgeluse's men and she goes after him because "Want to marry me and be my king?"
And Parzival is like, "Ewww, no. Also, you're hideous. My wife is prettier than you."
😂 Just... Gotta love Parzival and his blunt honestly.
We're back with Parzival! Previously, in Book XI, Gawain fought for his life in the Castle of Marvel and triumphed, and then got his wounds treated. Book XII involved more fighting, someone being into Gawain's sister but having beef with Gawain and so much more. Let's jump in! 🤿
Alrighty, so, after having had his wounds treated, Gawain rests. The next morning, Gawain wakes up and changes his clothes (which were pretty busted) to new ones that are provided for. The young man looks around the castle, feeling amazed at everything he's seeing. (He's also pretty hung up on Orgeluse 😆).
The knights keeps walking around the castle. What astonishes the most is that at this tower, there's a magic stone that has the property of being able to show everything that occurs within six miles of the castle. While gazing at the stone, he runs into Queen Arnive, her daughter and two granddaughters.
Arnive scolds Gawain because "Young man, you should be resting after all the fight you had the other day."
And Gawain is all like, "I'm fine. Also, you've helped me, so I'll tots serve as long as I live."
The old woman then introduces her to her daughter and granddaughters. Gawain finds them all pretty, but for him they don't hold any candle to his Orgeluse. Afterwards, Gawain and Arnive talk to each other about the magic stone in the tower.
Arnive explains the property of the stone and that it was stolen from Queen Secundille by force. As the old queen is talking, the young knight sees a knight in the company of a young lady, who looks an awful like the woman he's very much into. As such, Gawain decides to ask to be sure and he finds out that he's not wrong.
So, Gawain wants to fight because "He's in a challenging pose!"
Arnive & Co.: You're bloody wounded. Are you insane?
Gawain: You guys said I supposed to be the lord of this castle. That guy is challenging my honor! I must fight!
Much to the pain of everyone, Gawain arms himself to fight the knight in the company of Orgeluse. Arnive and all the ladies of the castle say their goodbyes to him and also cry because "He's absolutely doomed."
Gawain then departs from the castle and goes after the knight. But first he stops by Plippalinot to ask for jousting equipment and asks the old man to cross him over (the old man also gets the horse of the knight that loses against the winner). Both Gawain and the other knight fight. Naturally, Gawain wins against his opponent (who apparently had never lost against anyone).
And Orgeluse being Orgeluse can't resist taunting Gawain over his win. Gawain is all like, "Lady, my wounds have been tended already. Just please let me serve you already."
Orgeluse: 😩 Fine. You can come with me to seek more glory fighting.
Gawain is super overjoyed that he gets to ride with his love. He says goodbye to Plippalinot and says goodbye as well to Arnive (who is worried over his wounds) and the 400 ladies (who cry thinking of his doom 🤣).
The young man and the lady travel together for sometime. Then, Orgeluse is like, "I want you to get me this garland that is hanging from this branch. But you must earn it."
Gawain: Okay. 🥰
There's more traveling until both arrive to this castle. Gawain asks where he can find his love's garland. She tells him that it's on the other side of a cliff (it's named the Perilous Gorge, btw) with a dangerous river on the bottom. Orgeluse tells her suitor that if he wins against the man who killed her husband, then he'll be doing her the biggest favor and also getting a chance to be with her.
Gawain accepts her challenge and jumps over the cliff with his horse. And...
HE FALLS DOWN THE CLIFF AND ON THE RIVER. 🤣😂😆
Gawain's horse gets swept by the currents of the river, and Gawain survives by holding on to a tree branch. With much struggle, the knight manages to save his horse. Afterwards, he manages to reach the other safely and he gets the garland, putting it on top of his helm.
Of course, the dude guarding said garland goes to Gawain. Both men talk to each other and they realize they don't really want to fight each other. The dude's name is King Gramoflanz and he killed Orgeluse's husband, Cidegast, because he wanted her love. As it turns out, it didn't work out for him and he's become disillusioned over time. Gramoflanz also proclaims that he's in love with one of the ladies of the castle. Their conversation keeps going. Essentially...
Gramoflanz: I'm in love with King Lot's daughter, Itonje. 🥰 She's so lovely. We've never met, but she's always sending me stuff.
Gawain: Worry not! I'll be your wingman!
Gramoflanz: Oh, wow, really!? Awesome! Give her this ring for me, will you?
Gawain: Sure! What's your name?
Gramoflanz: Oh, my name is King Gramoflanz. My father was killed by King Lot. I have heard a lot about his son, Gawain. Man, I hate that guy. Maybe, one day I'll fight him if I ever run into him again.
Gawain: 💢 Funny... You're in love with King Lot's daughter and you're trash talking her father. She'd be a bad daughter if she didn't call you out for your hate. As it turns out, I'm her brother Gawain. We should fight, yeah?
Both men agree on a time and date for their fight, and then they depart from each other. Gawain goes back to Orgeluse, who accepts to let him court her. Orgeluse's acceptance makes the young man very happy. The woman also asks Gawain to help her destroy Gramoflanz, which he accepts to do.
Afterwards, they depart to Castle Marveile. On the way, Orgeluse gives her new beau a rundown of everything that's happened to her. Also, "Could you free my homies whom you made your prisoners after defeating them, babe?"
Both Gawain and his lady love arrive at the river next to the castle, where they're received by a lot of joyous knights, as well as the boatman and his daughter.
Dinner is served. And lots of talking happens. At long last, Gawain arrives to the castle and tells Orgeluse not to tell his name to the public just yet. The young man calls for a messenger and tells him to send a message to his uncle, telling him about his impending fight with Gramoflanz.
The messenger departs with his message, only to be intercepted by Arnive. The old queen wants to know everything, but the messenger tells her it's a secret.
And that's how Book XII ends.
Lesson? If a woman doesn't feel the same as you do for her, don't kill her husband. In addition, do not insult your lady love's father in front of her brother.
Book X of Parzival! We go back to more Gawain and his shenanigans. Previously, in Book 8, Gawain got accused of a crime he didn't commit, made out with the sister of the king, got in trouble, defended himself with a chess board and, in the end, got pardoned if he swore to find the Grail. Now, in this book, Gawain and King Vergulaht go their separate ways in order to find the Grail. Let’s dive in! ✌️
Gawain is just travelling down the road. All is chill until he runs into this woman. Said woman has a wounded man in her arms and "Is he alright, ma'am?"
Woman: He's badly wounded. He's very likely to die.
Gawain: Ma'am, I'm a healer. This man can live if I apply this remedy I know.
The young knight applies the remedy he knows, tells the woman to follow his instructions in applying the remedy and this helps the man to get better a lot. The wounded knight then tells Gawain what happened to him to get badly injured.
He also warns Gawain to avoid Logroys at all costs because "I got my arse kicked by Lischois Gwelljus and he's a very fearsome warrior."
Gawain: Well, now, with more reason I want to go to this place you're mentioning.
Wounded Knight: Bruh, it'll be your funeral if you go there.
But Gawain doesn't listen. Instead, he helps the man and his lady some more. Then, he goes off to Logroys.
When he arrives to Logroys, he encounters this woman called Orgeluse de Logroys. Gawain absolutely finds her hot. Essentially…
Gawain: Wow, you're hot. Want my company?
Orgeluse: How is that relevant? Boy, do you know how many man complement me all the time? I'll pass your services in exchange for my love.
Gawain: You cast a spell on me. I'm your prisoner. You have captured my heart.
Orgeluse: Okay, then, take me with you. Fair warning, though, it's your funeral, bruh.
Gawain: Challenge accepted.
Orgeluse: Very well. Go get my horse in Logroys.
So, Gawain goes to get the horse. Everyone in Logroys are lamenting about Gawain's fate because "That poor sucker… He's gonna suffer because of our lady."
When Gawain gets the horse, an old man tries warning him about Orgeluse. But Gawain waves him off, and then, he takes the horse back to Orgeluse.
Orgeluse: Oh, you're back, you effing goose.
Gawain: It doesn't matter if you insult me. You'll love me later, I'm sure.
This annoys Orgeluse to no end. Then, both the knight and the young lady keep going on their journey. On the path, Gawain stops when he sees a medicinal herb that can help the wounded knight and he picks up said herb. Orgeluse makes fun of him because "I didn't know you were a healer. You should start selling salves rather than being a knight."
Not long after, Orgeluse's squire (whose name is Malcreatiure) follows them because "I'mma beat you up for daring to abscond with my lady!" Gawain just shrugs, grabs him and throws him off from his horse, but not before getting injured because his hair is as rough as a porcupine. Naturally, Orgeluse laughs at Gawain's injuries.
Both keep travelling and Gawain finds the injured knight. He gives him the herb and "Bruh, you brought her here!? That woman made me suffer!" Also, "There's a hospice nearby can you help my companion get on her horse?"
Gawain: Sure.
The wounded knight proceeds to steal Gawain's horse and leaves with his lady afterwards. This pisses off Gawain and amuses Orgeluse. And Orgeluse is like, "Welp, first you're a healer, now it seems you have become a footman. Are you sure you are a knight? Also, you sure you still want my love?"
Gawain: Yup. You'll change your mind when you see my fighting prowess.
A few minutes later, the wounded knight comes back to taunt Gawain because "Haha, I have your horse. This is revenge for that one time your uncle made me eat with the dogs for a month."
Gawain: Dude, you're lucky you're alive after I vouched for you.
Wounded Knight: Whatever. Now, I'm going to keep your horse for myself. Bye!
Cue Gawain explaining to Orgeluse that the wounded knight is called Urjan. Urjan raped a young woman, who came as an envoy from another country. Arthur heard her asking for her, so he and his men went immediately to where she was, and Gawain arrested Urjan. The young woman cried for justice because "That effing bastard ruined me."
So, Arthur calls for a trial and tells the young lady to testify against Urjan. For everyone, the verdict was obvious because "He should be hanged for his crimes."
But then Urjan appeals to Gawain because "I surrendered to you, remember? My life is yours."
So, Gawain feels that if he doesn't interfere for Urjan his honour will be tarnished. Basically…
Gawain: Listen, miss, Urjan just found you beautiful. That's all. That's the reason why he acted the way he did. Have mercy on the guy.
Afterwards, Gawain begs his uncle and Guinevere to forgive the guy (which I totally disagree with. Down with that bastard's head!). As such, Urjan keeps his head on his shoulders, but in exchange he has to eat with the dogs for a month.
After story time is over, Orgeluse is just like, "WTF is wrong with you? That's the reason the man had revenge on you? You know what? I'll make sure he is punished. This is my land, after all. He falls under my jurisdiction of the law."
Meanwhile, Gawain borrows Malcreatiure's rather beat up horse. To which, Orgeluse makes fun of him. Malcreatiure then walks on foot, making fun of Gawain along the way.
The journey continues with Orgeluse making jests of Gawain at every chance she can. Finally, both arrive at a forest and at the end of said forest, there's castle. To get to this castle, a river must be crossed over. Orgeluse quickly gets on the ferry and "Goodbye, moron! Good luck fighting the knight that is going to kick your arse."
Gawain: 🥲 Won't I ever see you again?
Orgeluse: You want honour? You have to earn it. But I don't think you'll do so soon.
This leads to Gawain fighting against Lischois Gwelljus. He wins, of course.
Afterwards, he's then invited to a ferryman's home after he gives the man Lischois Gwelljus as his hostage. Plippalinot (that's the ferryman's name, btw) makes sure that Gawain is well attended and has everything he needs. His daughter even attends Gawain and everything. Then, Gawain goes to sleep.
And that's how Book 10 ends.
Lesson? Never vouch for someone whose crime is abhorrent, because it will later come to bite you in the arse. Instead, let that someone receive their well-deserved punishment.
