Jan 17, 2022
it’s too early in the year to have this many regrets. anyone else feeling a little lost ? i need a vacation. or four.
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it’s too early in the year to have this many regrets. anyone else feeling a little lost ? i need a vacation. or four.
Apparently my name’s been trending on Twitter for the past couplea weeks and I can’t for the life of me think of why - I can only assume you’ve all caught on about my secret dates with Stephen Colbert, Ms Juicy Baby, Queen Elizabeth II, the entire cast of Cats: the movie and Frankie Grande. I suppose while I’m back in the spotlight for a hot second I should do something radical and use my voice for good, right? #EatTheRich and all that. So send me Dunkin’. Seriously, I’m not about to Gollum this motherfucker and cling to the power until I’m balding and gagging on my own saliva, I just want donuts. Donuts and I’ll be out of your hair, I’ll never date anyones sisters-twice-removed-cousin or mailman ever again, I promise.
So today I got told by somebody’s mam that their daughter’s been head o’er heels in love with me since ‘Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging’, which I genuinely just thought was some kind of weird expression of love, not some wank movie from the noughties, so obviously, I took a selfie with the bird and now I can’t stop thinking ‘bout how disappointed that girl’s gonna be when she gets sent a picture of me instead of Aaron Taylor Johnson. Sorry to this girl. I’ll still sing ya ‘Ultraviolet’ if you want?
Anybody else ever get mistaken for someone, regardless on whether or not there’s any resemblance?
Well, I have officially been bi-costal for about a month now. I feel like New York is more fitting of the kind of career I want to have, but LA has been my home for a decade now. I feel like I can’t entirely leave it behind, you know? Plus my mom lives in LA and I definitely can’t leave her behind. But I’m looking forward to Christmas in New York, I haven’t gotten to see it since I did Clueless. So any recommendations for a first time New-Yorker would be super @lalightsstarter
Okay but does anyone else skip ahead to the ending of Billie Eilish’s ‘Happier Than Ever’ and belt it out like they’ve just experienced the worst break up of their lives - tears and all - even though they can’t remember the last time they actually cared enough about a relationship to even shed any, or are you normal?
you know when you’re just starting to feel settled in a place again but then you have to pack up and get back to work ? i’m deeply thankful i have a job to go back to but i already miss new york. so much. on the bright side, at least the sun in los angeles will be nice. someone hype me up and tell me it won’t be so bad being away from new york for the duration of my filming schedule. @lalightsstarter
Okay. Confession time. Well, to begin with, I semi-recently admitted on national television that my grandma used to pick up food from restaurants for Thanksgiving and pretend she’d made them herself, and I think I’ve proven that I am 100% related to the woman she was because, guys, I can’t get myself to do my own gift wrapping. If Macy’s asks if I want to pay $5 more for perfect, crisp edges and a pretty ribbon, I am here for that. But I’m not sure that anyone’s reaiized, yet. So don’t tell them, please, and let me know if you’re as bad as I am when it comes to Christmas preparations... and as deceptive. @lalightsstarter
So, I finally got the opportunity to sit down with my psychic for the first time in, I don’t know, six months? A year? I can’t keep track of these things, that’s why I pay someone else to do it. In any case, she shuffled her cards and consulted the crystals before looking at me, all serious. I asked her, “What is it?” I wondered if something terrible, awful was about to happen, since she’d been on the money in the past when it came to breakups and people passing away, etc. She looked at the cards and then at me, grabbed my hands and said: “Stefani, you need a nap!” before laughing and telling me I was sorely overworked. Well, you don’t need to tell me twice. I have my bed, all the blankets, and my dogs for warmth. I’ll see you all sometime in 2022. @lalightsstarter