#lamp rambles

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew, running into the common room: "Mount, Mount, quickly, start talking about literally anything! Just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind and start yapping!" Mountain, confused: "...What did you do?" Dew, glancing over his shoulder before hopping onto the couch: "For once, it wasn't something I did, but no one is going to believe that unless I have an alibi, and you are going to be that alibi!" -lifts Mountain's legs and sets them into his lap- "We're been like this all afternoon, lounging on this couch discussing whatever, just start talking!" Mountain, shrugs, gets comfy: "I've been thinking a lot about dragons lately-" Perpetua, from a distance: -screaming, wailing- Mountain, pauses, looks at Dew: "-Because they're just winged dinosaurs when you really think about it, and-" Copia, screeching: "WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE GRIMACE?!" Perpetua, crying: "I DON'T KNOW!" Mountain: "...and I think that's neat, but also we should really make dragons look more like other dinosaurs other than the t-rex sorta head shaped ones... Like a duck billed dragon..." Copia, storming the room: "I KNOW IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN ONE OF YOU-" -sees Mountain and Dew lounging together- "Aww, my boys... My precious boys, you two wouldn't happen to know why my stupid ass twin is purple now, would you?" Dew, shakes his head: "I haven't seen him since this morning." Mountain, happily: "We're talking about dinosaurs!" Copia, patting them on the head: "That's nice, okay, you two continue being good, I have to go yell at Swiss now, I think it had to have been him..." Dew, looking after Copia leaves: "It was Aeon." Mountain, whispering: "Why didn't you tell him??" Dew: "I owe them a favor, this is that favor." Mountain: "Why not take the fall then? Why ask me to prove your innocence?" Dew, laying back against the armrest: "I alone cannot be proven innocent, but if I have someone else with me, I have backup, also I'm under you and have a bad leg, so he wouldn't assume I was up and about... Also I didn't wanna have to kneel and pray for forgiveness in the chapel." Mountain: "Fair point. So I think dragons would sound like-" Swiss: -screeching as he is dragged away by Copia- Mountain: "Yeah, that."

[lampire13]

just because hussie drew black strilondes doesnt mean that hussie isnt still a fucking racist. hussie never apologized or addressed their past racism and was very obviously half assing the designs they drew. stop awarding hussie just because they do the bare minimum. hussies a racist creep and no amount of distractions will change that. stop supporting them

[thelampisaflashlight]

Rain: "Dew has been on high alert since last night, some animals were fighting outside and it spooked him real bad, so he hasn't left the rafters all day." Dew, crouching on a beam: -hissing- Rain, holding a net: "...Love and friendship have not worked, so I must take an alternative approach."

[thelampisaflashlight]

Just thinking about how Robert is broadly characterized as eating Twinkies for basically every meal, but I think it would be amusing if he just has a sweet tooth in general.

Sugar is really important for brain function, and, ya know, a package of Twinkies has a decent amount of sugar, it has carbs, and I can see him doing "The Math" on that, like, "Oh, hell yeah, I can survive off of this-" like no, Robert, no...

Serious character introspection aside -we're not gonna get into the topic of comfort foods, whether or not Robert can't afford other food, or if being left alone a lot as a kid/young teen meant he didn't learn how to cook properly, or even that he spent a long time in survival mode and prepared food was easier to shove in his face- I think sweets being his main vice would be hilarious.

Like, Chase uses sweets to bribe a young Robert into eating his veggies, and it works every time.

In fact, it still works.

Trying to get him to eat a balanced meal?

Promise dessert afterwards.

Z Team pissed him off?

Nothing a couple of crepes can't fix...

Also works with things like fruit cups or sweet drinks, except for coffee... because he thinks the earthy flavor brings out the sweetness of whatever he pairs it with.

He is a connoisseur.

The only time he does not want sweets is when he's sick, and it's one of the main tells that something is wrong with him.

However, it doesn't always mean he's sick, sometimes he just wants something different, and an egg and cheese bagel sounded really good, never mind the mild panic as he picks that over a donut.

On that note, Robert does strike me as a breakfast sandwich kind of guy, and not a sit down, full breakfast type.

Like, he's a walk and eat kind of person, he needs food on the go, and when he does sit down to eat, he likes things that are contained inside themselves, because he can still have a hand free to gesture, scroll on his phone, or tap away on his computer.

He requires food that lets him multitask.

Although he also seems like the kind of guy who can make exactly one (1) pasta dish that absolutely slaps.

Anyway.

This thought process brought to you by me thinking about what to get from the restaurant by my work for breakfast.

[thelampisaflashlight]

Aether, resting in his armchair, hands folded on his stomach, eyes closed: "You know what I could use? A nice, warm ghoul sitting on my lap. A sweet, good boy who wants snuggles." -cracks an eye open slightly, watching Dew skulk about, clears his throat- "I mean, oh no, I would hate for someone to sit on my lap right now! That would be terrible!" Dew, eyes him mid t-rex walk: "..." Aether, pretending to look away: "So terrible..." Dew, climbing onto his lap: -gets comfortable- Aether, shedding a single tear: "Fuck yeah." Dew, kneading: "What was that?" Aether: "I meant fuck you-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

The Dispatch thought for you this morning is that Robert would not be a bad roommate per se, but he would be a weird one, whether the roomie knew he was Mecha Man or not.

In the case that the roommate doesn't know it's more of a comedy of errors/missing context, it's like:

"Yeah, he threw his mattress off the balcony?? I have no idea what he was trying to accomplish with that, but now he's sleeping in a lawn chair??"

"His work friends came over and had some kind of costume party?? Yeah, I dunno, man, I just stayed in my room all night, but two of them got into a fight??"

"The robot bits in the corner? I think he's into weird art or something, like that Gundam stuff?? I don't know, dude, I just stay in my room. Rent is cheap, and Robert covers half, so I don't care. Not like we have a couch or whatever."

Also they somehow miss the big reveal of Robert being Mecha Man/conveniently dodge that information.

They legitimately do not know/never figure it out during their time as roommates, which is a super power unto itself, because HOW-

In the case that they do know, but are minding their own business/do not care it's more like:

"Dude, if you're gonna have these sad post fight mope sessions, at least do it in your room on your bed- The fuck do you mean you threw your bed off the balcony??"

"Robert, man, there's motor oil and grease all over the floor, at least put a tarp down under all of that scrap metal- 'iT's My LeGaCy-' bitch we are not getting our security deposit back-"

"Laying on the floor again? Cool, cool... Did you buy groceries yesterday? No? Bro, why have a chore chart if you-"

"What do you mean you're in the hospital?? Again?? You got blown up again?? You got two nickels in your pocket now, because what the fuck-"

They could move out at any time, crucially, but they don't, because honestly Robert's life is a bit of a mess, but it's an entertaining mess.

At the very least, they have kept Robert from bleeding out in the apartment, if only because, "If they sweep a black light through this place, we are fucked."

Ride or die, for sure, would hide a body for Robert with few questions asked, but would be judging him the entire time.

Anyway.

[thelampisaflashlight]

Omega, with his head in his hands, sitting in a hospital room: "..." Alpha, twiddling his thumbs: "..." -coughs- "In my defense, if I had known he was going to drink the pool water after I described the chlorine as 'spicy'-" Omega: "Shut. Shut up. Shut the up, lord below..." Alpha, stiffens and then deflates: "Okay, okay..." -sits in silence for exactly two seconds- "It wasn't even the water that hurt him..." Dew, delirious, laying his hospital bed: "I ate TWO!" -goes to hold up two fingers, holds up four instead, drops them back down confused, tries again, fails again- "That's many noodle." Omega, pinching the bridge of his nose: "Yeah, bud, two whole pool noodles is a lot... and plenty enough for SOMEONE to have told you to stop eating chunks of them!" Alpha: "I DID! ...and then I wanted to see how much more he could fit in there. Honestly is was a sight to behold." Dew, nodding: "The doctors were impressed-" Omega: "We're going to have a long, long conversation with Papa when we get home about the kind of pool toys we're allowed to have in the abbey from now on." Dew: "-I don't think they took the rocks I ate earlier out though..." Both: "The WHAT-"

[thelampisaflashlight]

Copia: "I don't play favorites-" -holding Dew in his arms while he looks up at Copia with big wet eyes adoringly- "-but there are exceptions to every rule." Perpetua, grimacing: "That fucker bit me earlier." Copia, petting Dew's hair: "Exceptions to every rule." Perpetua: "He-" Copia: "Exception." Dew: -grinning-