#lance falconer

[pthalomars]

John and Detective Falconer... you guys will always be famous to me 🫶

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

John: You know you're not our dad, right?

Falconer: Stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad.

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

Falconer: John, I know you think you're helping, but stop it.

John: I don't think I'm helping.

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

If I come over there, there’s going to be two sounds: me hitting you twice.

Detective Falconer, to John.

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

I can't believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.

Falconer to John and Dave

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

I see you've managed to get your shirt off.

Detective Falconer, to John

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

Falconer: So, how many things around here have you put your butt on?

John: Let's start with what I haven't put my butt on.

[incorrectjohndiesattheendquotes]

John: Isn't there anything more you can tell me?

Detective Falconer: Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.

John: That's impossible, because my time is worthless.