#lardermann

[skeletonzimms]

actually my favorite thing is lardo being super affectionate with jack and jack i his mind being like ‘oh she likes me? oh ok’ and jack going with it and then lardo reading that as ‘oh he likes me? oh ok’ and then they kiss and awful and they’re both like ‘oh okay thank god we don’t have to do that’

[somethingnurseywoulddo]

lardo and jack never kiss when they hookup but not in the “so we don’t catch feelings way” but because the one time they did it was an instant churn off and ruined the night.

[slapshotsandscones]

Jack and Lardo tried, once. They kissed, and it was good. They went on dates, and they were great. They tried the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing, and that. That was awful. Maybe because Lardo wasn't comfortable with the label "girlfriend", and hadn't quite pieced together why yet. Maybe because every time Jack hung out with Shitty, he could see it in his eyes, and even if Shitty was nothing but supportive, Jack felt guilty. Maybe it didn't work because the kissing, the closeness, that was good; but the expectations, the romance? That wasn't.

Whatever the reason, they realized pretty quickly that this Thing wasn't working. They stayed close afterwards of course; their friendship was to strong not to. And it was awkward for a while, but that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part of it not working was how much they'd both wanted it to.

[omgzimbitsplease]

Okay this + JackLardo

Jack LOVES to fuck with people bc no one ever picks up on it.  Most of the time he really is a serious guy so it’s a natural extension that his sense of humor would follow.  I also like to think he gets this from Alicia.  And so when he gets to Samwell he’ll occasionally mess with people.  And there are people who he won’t mess with out of respect -- pretty exclusively Shitty -- and there are people he messes with for his own amusement (the Seniors who think they already know who he is based on his press).

And then he meets Lardo.  And she sees through him immediately.  But instead of calling him out with it she smirks at him and just rolls with it.  He’s in the middle of convincing a couple Seniors that (idk) he totally met some super famous actress through his mom and she’s basically like an aunt to him now and the seniors are kind of buying it but kinda skeptical, and then Lardo nods and jumps in like “Oh yeah didn’t she take you as her plus one to the Oscars last year when her husband was filming in Africa?”  

And from that moment they are absolute comrades in arms.  They’ll go out for coffee in town and convince a barista they’re newlyweds.  They’ll pull elevator pranks whispering to each other “did you get the cash?” “yeah but I think I got made we gotta move it quick” and laughing their asses off when the people get off the elevator giving them scandalized looks over their shoulder.  

And then, after they start sleeping together they pull the reverse.  They convince people that they absolutely could NEVER be romantically or sexually linked.  Yuck.  Definitely not.  They’re basically siblings.  

Meanwhile Lardo is pegging Jack upstairs on the reg.  And Jack is getting his hair pulled going down on her for hours.  And the only one who knows is Shitty.  Because of course he’s going to be their third one day.