crazy ass husbands gang + YANDERE ALPHABET / LETTER A
CONTENT: gender!neutral reader, race!neutral reader, yandere behavior — YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Hellboy - Loudly. His love is boisterous. As possessive as it is warm. His hand on your hip, tugging you inappropriately close during meetings. Endless shouts of ‘babe!’ through the echoing bureau halls until you’ve no choice but to turn, no matter how many agents are around to catch the exchange (he always waits until the halls are teeming with people). You live dangerous lives. Hellboy has met some of the bravest, most accepting souls that have ever walked the Earth by working with the BPRD. He’s also watched most of those people die. All the loss keeps him painfully aware of the gift that being with you is. It’s only with you he feels like more than a weapon, a ticking doomsday clock for humanity. With you, he’s a person. You’ll have to forgive him for holding you too tight; or watching you from alleys and rooftops when he swore the last time you caught him would be the last time he’d do it, scouts honor. He just can’t lose anyone else. Let alone you.
Robert Neville - Protection and tenderness; but the way Robert lost everything when the world ended has left its clear mark. A wound never healed. Only ignored, because to acknowledge the weight of everything stolen from him would be too great a risk. He can’t save what’s left of the world if he’s having a psychotic break brought on by grief. And it’s playing with something far more dangerous than fire to fall in love again when monsters still lurk in the dark. Greedy instruments in the utter destruction of humanity. Sometimes the grief, the fear, makes him unreasonable; he knows.
If his paranoia were unfounded, he could get control of himself. But it isn’t. The world is dangerous, and it makes Robert's hackles rise when you step outside the safety of his perfectly reinforced home into the messy, uncontrolled chaos of this city he used to love, ravaged by a violent virus and the vicious passage of time. He thinks about putting his foot down one day and telling you there won’t be anymore trips outside. Thinks of reaching for the countenance of the gentler man he used to be as he breaks that news. Softening the blow by saying all the things he’s avoided till now—like ‘I love you’ and ‘I can’t risk losing you’—instead of what’s most likely to come tumbling out, the scientist masquerading as drill sergeant, shouting ‘This is not up for debate’. He could withstand your hate if it meant ensuring one person he loved survived.
Homelander - Things get scary fast. The animalistic part of the brain that flashes neon red danger signs in the minds of other people must be broken in you. It isn’t entirely your fault, though. Homelander put on such a show for you. Prince charming. Considerate, of the sudden fame and the weight of so many people’s expectations. Romantic, almost boyish, as he presented you with bouquets of roses so perfect they seemed plucked from a movie. Came to meetings with you and didn’t allow you to be talked over or bullied into choices you weren’t comfortable with. He put all his acting prowess into the role of the century… being your hero.
And all the little worms and ingrates hovering at the edges of your world who watched you fall into the trap with pity didn’t dare open their mouths to warn you. It wasn’t worth their lives—especially because it wouldn’t even save you. No one could save you. Not from him.
His affection is a cage. He just doesn’t put you in one.
Maybe there’s a noble reason behind that, some actual modicum of love. An inability to put you through something that damaged him down to the foundations of his personhood. Or maybe he just knows he doesn’t need to.
He can hear your heartbeat from two cities away. Can fly halfway across the world in the time it takes most people to sneeze and wipe their nose. Vought would do anything to keep him pacified, and you’re the only thing that’s come close to keeping him calm since Stillwell. If you ran, Homelander wouldn’t even have to drag you back himself. He could send the rest of the Seven after you. It might just be wave after wave of Vought goons, until you give in and trudge home, a kicked dog ready to submit. And then would come the worst part: facing Homelander’s rage at being abandoned. The cage is better. You don’t know what’s waiting for you on the other side of it.
Qimir - His love is obsession. Qimir can’t let you go. You’re the other half of him. The bond between you is a vibrant thing, bursting with enough energy that it might as well be a star sitting atop your chest, crushing you with its gravity. You run from him. You have to. It’s the right thing to do. You used to fear the heat of his lightsaber at your throat. The overwhelming thrall of the darkest side of the Force whenever he grew closer. Now when you run, you’re terrified that you will look over your shoulder and find no one in pursuit.
You worry for nothing.
He finds you faster than ever, as if he can read your mind even across the light-years of distance you put between the two of you. Qimir’s hand on your throat, a lover’s caress instead of a captor’s rage. He used to be so angry, catching you back at the beginning, knowing it wouldn’t be long before you’d slip away again. His dark, bottomless eyes are different now. There is something soft in them. You avert your gaze. You are both going through a terrible metamorphosis. “One day, you’ll grow tired of this dance, little spark. And when you do, I’ll be right there, waiting.”
Clark Kent - The most profound act of love that Clark can offer you is his gentleness. It’s the same gift he offers the world. He doesn’t make empty promises, and the moment you slipped your hand into his and told him you loved him, he made several. I will never hurt you. I will always be there when you need me most. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you, not even me. He didn’t speak the words out loud, afraid to scare you away with the depth of all that he feels for you. But he made the vows to himself, and he wakes up every morning thinking of how he’ll honor them.
There are times Clark’s head gets too loud, telling him just how fragile you are. Reminding him how many people want to hurt him but can’t, and would happily hurt you in his place. He comes to you when the thoughts become overwhelming (whispering dark suggestions of how you’d be safer, better off, in the fortress of solitude, and wouldn’t being safe make you happy…eventually). Clark doesn’t tell you everything, not wanting to scare you, but he tells you enough. And beautiful soul that you are, you throw your arms around him and tell him it’s natural to be scared when you have something to lose, but that there’s no one safer on the planet than you. Because he doesn’t love anyone like he loves you. Your absolute conviction quiets all that dark, worried noise in his head. At least for a little while.
Jim (28 Days Later) - He becomes a survivor for you. He learns how to scavenge for you. How to hunt for you. Kill for you. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to keep you alive. You’re the only thing that matters anymore. Jim wishes he were some sort of brilliant scientist who could find a cure for the virus; or a pilot who could commandeer some miraculously abandoned plane and fly you to a distant part of the world that doesn’t smell like death and violence lying in hungry wait. But he isn’t any of those things. He’s just a regular bloke who survived by dumb luck until he ran into you, and then he was surviving by the grace of your kindness and inability to turn your back on someone who needed you. Even if that someone was a horrible liability in the beginning. He’s better now. Better at fighting. At knowing when it’s time to grab your hand and run for the hills. Better at getting worms onto hooks so he can bring back fish for dinner instead of having to risk the dangers of the city for recently expired cans of food. Whenever he falters, or wonders if he can stomach one more day of a future like this, he looks over at you and thinks—Anything. For them, I’ll do anything.
A/N: please enjoy last month's voted on prompt!! it was so exciting to see the voting happen, even if we had to do it twice, adjkl. i absolutely love how many characters are in the husbands gang. they've got the richest variety of any of the groups. there's always someone i feel like writing for. this is also my first attempt at soft yandere Clark!
if you enjoyed this story consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer’s fuel is engagement. if you really loved this, check out my PATREON: slasherscream, for some exclusive content. this particular story was posted three weeks ago on the patreon, for early access. xoxoxo
a big thank you to my current patreon subscribers: @bisexual-horror-fan, bug, goat, jazz, kai, kali, kelsey, nukusei, rocky, sy, and @u1tra-vi0lent. without amazing readers like you, i wouldn’t still be up and kicking on this blog!
an: this is inspired by my family’s traditions (and the fun of watching my husband go along with them all.) happy new year!
Kento didn’t particularly care for New Year’s. He appreciated the day off work, if he was lucky- a rare early night and plans to begin another long year with a quiet morning of reading.
But with you by his side this year, he found himself pulled into a bright flurry of traditions. To both of your surprise, he didn’t mind. Instead, he let himself be swept up in your enthusiasm, his tired eyes crinkled into a smile as you bustled around the house together, cleaning.
“Wait, don’t get rid of that yet!” Nanami froze with a dripping mop in hand, about to empty the dirty water. You reached over and took the bucket, laughing at his confused look. “Yet being the operative word. This goes out the door at midnight!”
“Our…mop water?”
“Yep!” You set it aside and wiped off your hands. “All the bad shit from the past year will get flung out the door with this. At least, that’s the idea.”
He shook his head with a smile. “Whatever you say, love. Though there’s nothing I can think of that I want to throw away- this year brought me you.”
“Sweet-talker.” You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Not even overtime? Annoying coworkers?” You pecked his face with each suggestion, a warm blush creeping over his features. “Stale bread?”
“Well. Maybe there are some things.” He set the mop aside. “What’s next?”
“Grapes. Don’t worry, I bought them in advance.” You talked over your shoulder to him as you headed to the kitchen. “And we should get the suitcases out-” you raised your voice to be heard over running water as you began to wash the fruit. “Do you have any new underwear?”
Poor Nanami has been following until that last one. He poked his head into the kitchen, utterly bewildered. “Do I have what?”
“New underwear is good luck! You don’t have to wear it till tomorrow.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose I’ll have to check.” You plucked twenty-four grapes from the bunch and divided them into two cups.
“One for each month, for each of us.” You smacked his hand away playfully as Nanami reached for a cup. “At midnight!”
He took a grape from the leftover bunch and popped it into his mouth. “Okay, hands off. Is this more good luck?”
“Absolutely. We have to eat them in the first minute of the new year.”
“Along with throwing out the mop water?” You grinned mischievously at him.
“And walking around the house with our suitcases.”
“Outside? It’s freezing!”
“It’s tradition, Kento! We have to take a lap around the house with them if we want to travel next year.” Nanami pulled you into a hug, smiling into your hair.
“Well then we certainly have to do it. How does Malaysia sound?”
You told him exactly how it sounded, and then some- and the evening slipped away in a happy blur.
When midnight drew near, the two of you were drowsily cuddled on the couch in the soft glow of candlelight, empty wineglasses and half-read books on the table at your feet. You were nearly asleep when the beep of Nanami’s watch startled you.
“Mm, what is it?”
He stirred and wrapped his arms around you. “It’s almost midnight, my love. Time for our traditions, right?”
You grinned sleepily at the word “our”, but didn’t quite open your eyes. Nanami stroked your cheek with his thumb.
“Come on, get up. We can’t let those grapes go to waste.” His voice was soft and warm, wrapping around you like a blanket as you sat up.
“I forgot we’re old now,” you laughed. “I’m so tired!”
Nanami collected your wine glasses and took them to the kitchen. “Being old isn’t all bad.” He retrieved a bottle of champagne from the fridge and held it out to you. “This is one of the perks.”
He poured two glasses as you readied the grapes and set the bucket of water and suitcases by the door. He slid his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder as you watched the last few seconds of the year tick down together.
At the stroke of midnight, Nanami spun you in his embrace and pressed his lips to yours- a loving kiss that took your breath away. He broke it first, leaving you to sigh shakily and drink down the champagne.
He held up the cup of grapes and clinked it against yours. “For another year with the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to me.” You blushed through the first two, then giggled through the next ten at the sight of Nanami meticulously eating each one.
Another watch beep, and a grape-juiced kiss from Kento. “Next!” He took your hand, a little unsteady from the champagne, and ran with you to the front door.
“Out with overtime!” He called. You each picked up a side of the bucket and heaved the water outside.
“Good riddance!” You called after, collapsing into laughter at his side. He steadied you and pushed a suitcase handle into your hand.
“Malaysia next, my love?” You nodded happily and traipsed across the lawn, luggage in tow. He followed, not caring what the neighbors would think if any of them peeked out of their windows to see the strange parade.
You barely noticed the cold, warmed inside and out with drink, giddy joy, and the clasp of Kento’s hand. The empty bags bumped along behind you, full of hopes for the future. Together, you managed to stumble back inside and into bed.
“Happy New Year,” you whispered against his lips.
“The very happiest. To many more,” he murmured back.
I have to say, I love your husky!Eddie series. It’s very endearing and tastefully smutty, and one of ny favorites.
It adds on to my own hc (semi-divergent), post venca or post! Hawkins Eddie has a relationship with a latine!Reader.
If you know this abt latin ppl, food is a very big love language of of ours— and especially to our love ones, we keep them well fed to show that we love them.
So I love the idea of Eddie becoming husky by getting scolded by a latine! Reader for his lack of nutrition. So they take it upon themselves to make sure Eddie gets properly loved, while also adoring his huskiness.
+ Latine!Reader having nicknames in Spanish for him, like “gordito”, “Osito”, “Ricitos”
But that’s just me spitballing - 🌙
i'm so glad you've been loving the husky!Eddie series tysm for reading and taking to time to inbox me!!
i love love love this. food is such an important part of culture and Eddie would just be so loved and spoiled by a Latine!Reader. it's incredibly endearing to think about the ways in which you could cook for him and send him to work with homemade lunches to show your love and care <3
side note I grew up in a town that was primarily a Mexican/Latine population (se un poco de espanol pero no muy bueno!!) and the food absolutely ruined me for life. like. i cannot ever have another taco or tamale or esquites or horchata unless it's from my hometown restaurants. just the best fucking food of all time.
Of course you want to show off the food of your hometown to the boys, but this really should have been a solo date with Kyle. Still, you manage to sneak some time together.
cw: Gaz x reader, fat latine reader, gn!reader, implied poly 141, established relationship, mexican slang
word count: 1845
You throw the car into park and glance up at your rearview mirror. The three white boys smushed into the backseat push at each other to try to take a look through the window, grunts and mumbles escaping them. Kyle chuckles from the passenger seat, watching the commotion unfold.
“Are we sure this was a good idea?” you turn to Kyle, “We could have brought it back to the house for them.”
“No saben igual después de tanto tiempo, y tu bien lo sabes, tesoro,” Kyle responds, an impish smile on his face.
With a groan, you close your eyes and throw your head against the headrest. It’s the first time yall are back in your hometown for more than a week, and with all the extra time to yourselves, the plan was to eat as much good food as possible. One of your tías told you about this place, where they serve al pastor straight from the trompo, each slice almost caramelized to a delicious crunch. They’ve got the pineapple sitting on top, too. She said it was the best quality she’s seen in town to date. Even her husband won’t stop talking about it. And now here you all are, parked against the curb with the air on full blast.
Every time you’ve gone to a mom and pop shop like this, it’s been you and Kyle stepping in first. You go in with kindness and chatter, and the older ladies always helplessly swoon over Kyle. Laughter bubbles and you both eat happily, and sometimes the ladies sneak extras onto your plates. It’s a sacred time full of loud smooches, the staff going “UUUUU’ all around you, a deep blush on Kyle’s face as you wipe at the corner of his mouth with a napkin, his radiant smile set to make your heart burst. It’s perfect. It’s home.
Once you’ve scoped out a place with your own private date, then you bring your white boys over. At that point, you’ve already tried the place, showered Kyle in kisses, and built rapport with the staff. So by the time they step in, the sun drawing eyes to their paleness, the staff won’t try to upcharge you. It’s a genius pull, honestly, one you’ve done yourself with tremendous success. The white folks always have more than enough money to spare, and since they usually don’t know the prices, well that’s on them. But as you sit here in the car, listening to them point out all the little details of the shop to each other, you can’t help but wish you’d left them at home.
Kyle notices the disappointment on your face as you pick at your fingers. Try as you might to keep your face neutral, your expressions are always so easy for him to read. This is the first time your private outings have been interrupted, all because the shop is just a bit too far from the house for the tacos to travel well and your cousin had to fucking say so. He reaches for your hand, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss, waiting for you to make eye contact with him. There’s a distinct sadness in his eyes, a bittersweetness that’s never appeared on these outings before.
“Next time?” a little bit of hope cracks through his voice.
“Next time,” you swear, noticeably glum.
A thought freezes you before you can undo your belt. You reach for Kyle’s hand again, silly grin on your face, and turn around towards the other boys.
“How do you ask for the price of something?’ you ask them.
Kyle holds back his laughter at the question, squeezing your fingers with excitement. There’s joy on his face again and that’s all it takes for you to know you made the right call.
¿Cuánto cuesta?” they all say as one.
“No,” you say, your splitting with a grin, and Kyle can’t hold in his laugh. “Sorry boys, you’re staying here. Kyle and I will be right back.”
They don’t have the chance to protest or question before you’re bolting out of the car, coming around to open Kyle’s door and pull him from his seat. He lets out another loud laugh, the crinkles around his eyes sending warmth blooming in your chest. You’re both still giggling, if a little out of breath from sprinting inside, when one of the staff steps up to greet you, an older woman who's clearly enjoying the life you’re bringing into the place.
“Hola, mis niños. ¿Es su primera vez aquí? No me acuerdo haberlos visto antes, y a esas caritas las recordaría.”
“Primera vez. Un primo nos dijo de este lugar. Y nomas al verlo, se ve rebueno,” Kyle says, bringing you in closer as you wrap your arm around his waist.
“Una cita con el novio,” you tell her. It’s hard to keep a smile off your face with your sudden success, and it seems to catch in the staff member as well.
As she goes off to put in your order, Kyle helps you pack up some salsa, holding the small containers for you to scoop the goods into. You’re trying to figure out just how many containers you can fit into your hands, Kyle reminding you that you’ll need more guacamole than any salsa, when she returns with a big bag full of much smaller plastic bags of guacamole for you. Before you can even thank her, she’s handing each of you a plate with two smaller tacos, winking at you.
“Si quieren, pueden esperar ahí,” she points towards the door with her eyebrows, where there’s a couple of swings.
Walking over, you eye them a little nervously, worried about the structural integrity. The last thing you need is for it to give out on you, regardless of how nice it might be to reminisce in the seat.
“They’re welded,” Kyle whispers in your ear, “They’re solid.”
Sweet tears brim your lashes as you pull him down to cover his cheek in quick kisses. You can feel his shoulders shake with quiet mirth as he stays in place, accepting as much love as you’re willing to give him. If it were up to him, he’d never move from the spot, not even if his back starts aching or if hunger pangs strike. He’d stay pressed to you until something or someone forced him away. So for now he takes what he can.
“We should eat these before they get cold,” the false concern in your voice clear as you gently rock in the swing.
“Definitely. Wasting them would be disrespectful,” his voice low, pulling at the chain of your swing to bring you close together.
The first bite has you turning to look at each other with wide eyes, a pleasant shock bouncing between you. Words can’t do it justice. Your tía’s husband hyped these tacos up so much that you were a little worried about being disappointed. Turns out he didn’t talk about them enough. All either of you can do is let out groans as you chow down silently, Kyle’s strong arm keeping your swings connected.
“Hijo de su pinche putisima madre,” you say, gulping for breath around the sheer ecstasy of the food.
“Que chingandos fue eso?” he says, soft eyes searching yours as if you have the answer. They say food is sex, but the closest he’s ever come to feeling like this has been with you. What the fuck did they put in this. He leans back to face the woman behind the counter, “Seño, nos puede dar otras dos órdenes más porfa?”
“Ya te las puse, precioso,” she says, stepping towards him with a bulging bag in her hand, “Sabía que iban a necesitar más. El amor hace que te dé más hambre.” Before either of you can get up, she’s shoving another two little tacos into your hands, pressing a finger to her smiling lips.
You take slower bites this time, smiling at each other with cheeks bulging full of food. Now that you know what you’re in for, you’re going to savor every piece. Swings still connected, you nudge Kyle’s foot with the toe of your shoe, pressing your knee more firmly against his. He looks so at peace, his shoulders slightly scrunched as he carefully brings the food to his mouth, his nose crinkled up with delight at each bite he takes. You have the brief thought that maybe you should take a picture of this moment, but you can’t bear to tear your eyes from him. And when he turns, those big brown eyes locked on you, you’re sure you’ll never blink again.
“¿Que piensas, mi vida?” he caught your stare.
“Que te adoro,” you speak the words into his skin, kissing the arm holding your swings together.
“En aceite?”
“Clarín.”
Kyle quickly scans the room, just enough to make sure no one is looking your way, before bending and planting a tender kiss on your lips. His lips taste faintly of salt and fat, just as yours surely do, and you wish you could deepen the kiss, wanting more of the delectable combination. But he pulls away before you can, hunger for you burning in his eyes.
His voice is rough when he speaks again, tongue peeking out in search of the lingering taste of you, “We should get back to them.”
“When we get home?” your voice so breathless you barely recognize it as your own.
Kyle nods and stands, holding the bag of food in front of him, trying to discreetly adjust his pants. You’re both giggling again as he reaches for you, gently helping you up from the swing. Smiles are still stuck in place when you reach the car, slipping into your seats without saying another word.
You pause for a moment, waiting for some kind of commentary from the backseat. Now that you’re back in the car, you can look over and see that the swings are in clear sight of the car. A glance up at the rearview mirror shows you three grinning faces, each one more knowing than the next. They could dog you, tease you, joke about the scene they surely saw. But they don’t. Instead, Simon’s tummy breaks the silence, a loud rumble echoing through the car.
The entire car bursts into peals of laughter, the racket interrupted only long enough to deal out plates and servings. Kyle was right about the guacamole, as the boys pour entire little baggies of it on their tacos. Can’t blame them, honestly. That shit is creamy. And then a corus of moans breaks out in the backseat, first bites hitting hard enough to make the most stoic of them break into delight. You look over at Klye, find him already looking at you, and you both nod enthusiastically, biting into your food.
“We’re coming back,” he says, and then lower, “Just us next time.”
“Fuck yeah we are, that was set in stone the moment the woman greeted us. Gotta show off my boyfriend again,” you wink at him.
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﹙‧₊˚♡ pairings: billy loomis x reader, nathan prescott x reader, sebastian valmont x reader, jd/jason dean x reader, kevin khatchadourian x reader, jordan li x reader, david mccall x reader, stu macher x reader, sparrow!ben hargreeves x reader
﹙‧₊˚♡ content: gender!neutral reader, race!neutral reader, toxic behavior — YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
﹙‧₊˚♡ summary: how do they act when they take you on a date that isn't a sit-down dinner but something a little more exciting… or competitive?
❥ sore loser ❥
Nathan Prescott —
⌞ Why did you agree to this date with him? You knew how it would turn out. Nathan pulled up to the arcade and gave you a crooked grin in response to your visible hesitation, "What? You scared to lose?" More like you were terrified of winning — even as his words blew off the dust on your own competitive streak. You should have let it rot on the shelf just to maintain your own peace of mind. The first few losses he takes (poorly) on the chin. Through gritted teeth that he thinks he's hiding better than he is, he says, "I'm gonna getcha next time." He does not get you next time. Or the time after that. Finally, he snaps and accuses you of taking the arcade part of the 'arcade date' too seriously. Two paths lie before you: mollify him or tell him to get his game up. Godspeed on either road you choose to travel by, soldier. ⌝
Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves —
⌞ Ben didn't get to do much (or any) of this stuff growing up. He starts off huffing and puffing, saying it's a waste of time to play games meant for children — but the spirit of competition gets him. He has to be the top dog among his peers. Even if the peers are you and the arena you will do glorious battle in smells of stale nachos, and the carpets haven't been cleaned since the 80s. Do you know your man or what? However, you should have realized this would get out of hand. The possibility of a completely positive outcome was slim to none. Ben is as much a sore loser as he is a sore winner. When he wins, it's because his diverse training gives him a wide range of skills you couldn’t hope to beat: "Don't take it too personally, honey." But if you win, it's because you got lucky and he's rolling his eyes and demanding another round. If you guys don't wind up fighting — because you have the emotional regulation of a saint — then he’ll want to do a date like this again. Distract him with something else. A couple's spa sounds fun, right? Maybe a silence retreat. ⌝
❥ having fun being with you ❥
Josh Washington —
⌞ Enjoying spending time with you and hogging the mini golf holes to do it, too. Who is gonna check him? Nobody. His broad shoulders and height take care of those pesky conversations with strangers before they ever have to happen. Not that he's trying to be inconsiderate, he just gets caught up in the energy you two generate when it's just you. He'll be staring at you like a love-sick puppy while you swing and miss and tell him about your day. The night depends on you for forward momentum. It's too bad you're busy feeling bashful about how intensely he focuses on you instead of you both focusing on sending a golf ball into a badly-built version of the Taj Mahal. RIP to the people behind you. ⌝
Kevin Khatchadourian —
⌞ We're really stretching the definition of 'having fun' here, but Kevin isn't going to get too worked up about an activity, no matter what it is. This will be as fun as any other date night you two share. Which is a mixed bag, honestly. Sometimes he's more pleasant than others, depending on how egregious he thinks the planned outing is, or how accommodating you've been to his (unreasonable) requests that month. There are many factors that go into a successful night out with Kevin. Wind speed and the positioning of the stars have to be taken into account. But, at the end of the day, he leaves the house you two pay money to exist in and goes out with you, and bowls a perfect strike, and then sits down to watch you do the same with only a little more of a slump in his posture than usual. Couple's goals <3. ⌝
Jordan Li —
⌞ They can and have been a sore loser. But that level of competitiveness is relegated to the high-pressure areas of their life where success feels like life or death. Being on a date with you is not that. They might roll their eyes when you beat their score in Pac-Man, or scoff when you manage to live one round longer than they do as you fight off zombies using triggers that are a little too sticky to think about for long — but they're having fun. Real fun, that stems from nothing but spending time with you. The weight of the world seems to fall off their shoulders in increments and waves until they're dragging you from one game to the next. "You are so not fucking beating me again. That was dumb luck! Put another quarter in, I gotta show you who's boss." The grin on their face is wild and free, like they did a line of coke. You'll wind up staying till the place kicks you out just because you never get to see Jordan so happy. You think you'll have to squeeze in one arcade date night a month, doctor's orders. ⌝
Sebastian Valmont —
⌞ A little healthy competition never killed anyone. Sebastian is always up for a challenge, and likes to be rewarded for his success when it comes, no matter how low the stakes were — but he's just as happy to pass out rewards. "If I get this shot, I want a kiss." or "Okay, fine, if you get this one, we'll have dinner at that place where you hallucinate the food being good." He strikes the perfect balance between smack-talk and flirtation, where everything stays fun, even if you're also competitive. It's hard to get too worked up when he pulls you close and sweet-talks you. "You are irresistible when you get that shark-eyed look in your eye. Aww, there it goes again. No, I'm not just trying to distract you from your impending victory." ⌝
JD/Jason Dean —
⌞ These are his dates of preference. He hates to sit across from you at some stuffy joint where the two of you can't get half as passionate during conversations as you usually do, and you're more focused on politely twirling pasta onto your fork than you are on him. He likes the thrill of teasing you until your eyes are burning with the need to shut him up. Loves the way you win a round of anything and then turn around, demanding him to, 'Suck on that, pal!' Sometimes he loses just to watch you get more cocky. More loud. It feels good to bring out the scrappy side of you when the stakes are low. It’s beautiful — the way you get fired up during arguments; how your breath can’t come fast enough to spit out the sharp words hitting your razor-blade mind like a freight train; the rage making you burn so bright — but the aftermath gets rougher as the years spent together get longer. It's hard, now, to find you lying in the dark, crying after the two of you screamed yourselves hoarse about something small that JD blew up into something big. Getting you to do a smug, joyful little victory dance while you wave a plastic gun in his face is a nice way to remind himself that you don't only bring out the worst in each other. Bombs aren't the only explosives ever made. Fireworks existed first. ⌝
❥ boo this guy has a middle-ground ❥
Billy Loomis —
⌞ He's not gonna blow his top about mini golf. Billy may not have the greatest track record for emotional regulation, but that would just be taking it too far… Do not take him to do laser tag. That will escalate beyond all reason. Not because he'll get sore if you win (you won't). It doesn't even become about you losing. It's about how Billy's predator instinct gets triggered the moment you start running away from him. He chases you down like some kind of horrifying night beast that we haven't found the bones of yet, who is the entire reason humans are scared of the dark. You might get frightened enough to scream the closer he gets; that's how scary his one-track-minded pursuit is. The two of you will be escorted out because an employee caught him climbing the structures in order to jump down and catch you. "You whipped out some pretty sharp turns to get away from me. I'm impressed." He flirts with you over the late-night milkshake you demanded for the terror he put you through. He wants to go again next week, as if your heart could take the strain. ⌝
David McCall —
⌞ There's nothing for him to get sore about because he's letting you win. Even things you know you can't beat him in. He shrugs his shoulders helplessly when you call him on it. "I dunno what's going on, sweetheart. I guess I'm just off my game tonight." But let him play a solo anything for ten seconds and watch how fast he wins. He'll let you usher him onto the next game and, with a straight face, lose to you in a fighting game like he's never touched a set of joysticks before. Is it really a flawless victory for you if David barely pressed the attack button? Drag him over to the claw machine and make him get you a prize for playing in your face like you're stupid. He drops the exact item you wanted into your waiting arms. Because he’s great at winning games. You can pout in the car about him treating you with a condescending pair of kid-gloves, but he just thinks your little rant is cute. ⌝
Stu Macher —
⌞ Is so pumped that you wanted to do something exciting. Usually, he’s plastering a smile on his face through something mind-numbingly lame in order to win brownie points. This is a promising break in the pattern. Stu decides to reward you by being on his best behavior. You don't train an animal to do more of what you want by punishing it after all. He's calm. He's downright courteous. He keeps asking if you’re having fun (since when the fuck has he cared about that). You're going to think he's hiding something or about ready to call it quits, and do away with your body. You might even bring yourself to ask what’s going on outright. Don't be so paranoid! He's just trying to show you that this splatter paint date is his speed. Why are you looking a gift horse in the mouth? If you want him to be up to his usual antics, he can absolutely do that for — no? Awesome! Now stop playing Sherlock Holmes and start throwing darts at those balloons. He buys the canvas at the end of the date because it's messy and fun, just like the two of you. ⌝
A/N: some of them irritated me as i was writing this. it was, in fact, the usual suspects (kevin and david you will be dealt with). nathan being in the sore loser category... likely place for him to be!
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divider credits: @strangergraphics and @uzmacchiato / psd credit: kaisources
