Bulma x Reader
Bulma
You're a girl that loves vegebul or you just like strong woman in general. You don't take shit from anyone and when you're not busy working, you're spend your time watching beauty influencers or binge watching trashy tv. Voted most likely to have a thing for guys with anger issues.
First Date
Your twin sister had recently made the mistake of trying to disguise herself as the famous Bulma Briefs and had landed herself in the hospital. It turns out that she thought she could seduce the woman's husband but things didn't go as planned and she was now laying there with shattered limbs. Something about being attacked with a garlic gun? You chalked it up to your sister being high off the morphine she was being treated with and played along with her strange little story.
You had to admit that whoever that man was, he impressed you. Your sister was always an irritating one and this stranger managed to put her in her place. That, or she was just being her usual self and embellishing stories as Karen's tend to do. You then pulled out your phone and tried to find some way to contact the man but to your surprise it seemed like no such person existed.
"And for a second I thought I had someone to personally thank, but it seems like you lied to me again as usual!"
You sister then tried to speak but her teeth were so damaged that it was like looking into a graveyard with broken tombstones.
"...ve.. ...vehh"
"What was that?
"You leaned closer and you could have sworn her say veggietales.
"Well, it's been fun but I'm gonna go now..."
You got back into your car when you suddenly got a text from your boss. He wanted you to hand delivery some special order right away. It turns out the client was a frequent customer and was willing to pay triple to have it shipped immediately. You then pulled out your seatbelt and started driving far over the speed limit while hoping that you would be compensated for this.
________
You eventually made it to the warehouse and filled your truck to the brim with trading cards.
"All of this for Pokemon!?"
"Yup!"
"They need to do something about these scalpers already!"
"Oh they're not scalpers."
"Whadda ya mean?"
"Didn't I tell you where these are going?"
You shook your head and your boss proceeded to mention that some public company was buying stock, most likely for their son to have his own tournament.
You got in and drove to your destination while wondering why couldn't rich people just get their child a normal present for once. It was an hour later and you could see a large building up ahead.
"It couldn't be..."
You checked the directions and there it was in large letters. CAPSULE CORP.
"As if this day couldn't get any weirder?"
You headed up to the gates and rang the intercom.
"I have a package for Mrs. Bulma Briefs!"
The door opened and out came a short woman with blue hair.
"Thanks for coming! And sorry about the last minute notice, I promise it won't happen again!"
You heared her words but they didn't register. All you saw was her bikini and double D's.
'I know it's hot out but is this really appropriate!?'
"Did you hear me?'
"Yeah! I'll get started on unloading all the boxes now mam!"
You didn't see it but Bulma's face flashed in irritation before quickly fixing itself.
"I'll just be by the pool! Let me know if you need anything!"
You could not wait for this day to be over.
What you didn't know was that Bulma did really order the cards for Trunks. It just happened to be bad timing. Bulma was having another fight with Vegeta (how many times can one yell Kakarot during sex over the years and claim it's accidental?) and decided that the best revenge was to make the Saiyan jealous.
You had assumed that the business woman was either a widow or divorced, hence the "Mrs." title. If only you knew the danger you had gotten yourself into.
You eventually managed to get some boxes carried inside after trying to not remind yourself of the huge dinosaur exhibit nearby. You then ran into a woman who was almost as strange as the one you met earlier. She resembled a 50's housewife mixed with a Barbie doll but that wasn't what scared you. It was that her eyes were closed but she knew you were there along with the boxes. Was this grandma a witch or something!?
"Well aren't you handsome!"
'God, I swear I will become religious if you save me from this house!'
"...Thank you mam... I'll just go get the rest of the boxes..."
"I'll make sure to whip you up a big batch of food! A big guy like you needs to keep his strength up right?"
"I think I hear Mrs. Briefs calling me!"
You then ran back towards the nearest exit.
"I guess I'll see if Vegeta wants it."
________
"Do you smell that Goten?"
"FOOD!"
The child then raced downstairs, letting his nose lead the way. By the time the Trunks caught up, he saw his best friend pouting and it wasn't hard to figure out why. By the time they made it to the kitchen the food had already been devoured.
"What stinks?"
"You can come out now dad, mom's not here!"
Vegeta slowly came out from the corner. He was disheveled and had resorted back to living like a hobo. At least when Piccolo lived alone in the woods he could pull it off gracefully. He was wearing a bear pelt and was covered in filth and grime but it had been a very hard two days for him.
"...Hello Trunks... How is your mother?"
"Still mad if that's what you wanna know. Now go take a shower before I have Goten hose you off!"
"Why me!?"
"Son, you know I only take baths with your mother..."
"What's wrong? Is he like a cat and afraid of water because he could just go in the pool!"
Trunks then began to snicker.
"I don't have to take this disrespect in my own home-"
"Mom's home technically."
Just as Vegeta turned around to walk out his son called out."
So you don't want to know how mom's been?"
"Please, I could care less about what she does in her own free time-"
"So you haven't met her new toy then?"
"What? I'm sorry boy, speak up because it sounds like you're insinuating something!"
"How about this?"
Trunks then connected to the surveillance camera, showing Bulma trying to press herself against another man.
Vegeta went Super Saiyan three in an instant and dashed out the window.
"Can't he go blue?"
"Yeah but he's too mad to remember right now."
"Hey I think the cards came!"
________
"I"VE TRIED EVERYTHING! WHY DON'T YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE!?"
Suddenly a spark of ki burst around them.
"V-Vegeta!"
No way! You refused to believe your sisters story was real!
"I see you've lowered your standards!"
"It's not my fault that that you can't please me in the way...-"
Bulma then read your name tag.
"-that he does!"
"You're clearly trying to make me jealous! I may have fallen for it 340 times now but I'm not falling for it again!"
These two were clearly insane but you thought that this was your chance.
"PLEASE HELP ME-"
Bulma put a hand over your mouth but you bit into it.
"YOU SON OF A-"
"THIS WOMAN IS INSANE! I'M JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB AND SHE STARTS FLIRTING WITH ME!"
"I KNEW IT!"
"THE WORST PART IS THAT SHE'S CLEARLY AN OLD HAG THAT KEEPS GETTING SURGERY TO APPEAR YOUNGER! HER BOOBS ARE SO SAGGY THAT THEIR CRUSHING INTO MY CHEST AND WIND PIPE!"
"..."
________
"Did you hear that?"
"I think there's a storm outside!"
________
Vegeta launch a ki blast so big that it blew up your insides like a pinata and now your blood and guts were pouring down on the pavement.
________
"STOP OPENING THEM GOTEN!"
"Why?"
"Don't you remember the plan? You're supposed to weigh these to find the ones with rare cards!"
"What about the tournament?"
"That was just something I told my mom so she'd buy them for me! I told you that I'm going to become a Pokemon scalper and get rich!"
"But isn't your mom the richest person on earth?"
________
"What is this?"
Zamasu scrolled through GodTube and nearly vomited. It wasn't often that a mortals video would trend.The title readPRANKING SCALPERS AND SETTING MY $15,000 ZENNI POKEMON CARD COLLECTION ON FIRE