💬 1 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 42 · Part 41 can be read here
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 41
After recovering from the horror that was known as fast food, it was time to get back on track.
"What happened to Dr. Wheelo?"
"He's in the fish tank."
"Since when do we have fish!?"
"We don't, I just needed some place to put him."
Broly then got out some fish flakes and started attempting to feed the brain.
"And just how is he supposed to pay us rent!?"
"I thought you'd ask about that pops. Turns out his body was in a landfill. But don't worry, I made sure to sell the scrap metal-"
"...And how much did you get in return?"
His son then rumbled around in his pants until he pulled something out.
"Let's see... About five zeni-"
"THAT'S WORTHLESS BROLY!"
"I wasn't finished yet! There's also a coupon."
Paragus got up close and read it with his only working eye.
"This is for five zeni in store credit... Just where did you take him to again...?"
"Gamestop-"
"YOU FOOL! YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED A PAWN SHOP OR SOMETHING! JUST TELL WHATEVER IDIOT RUNNING THE PLACE THAT IT'S VINTAGE!"
"Be reasonable old man. Did you really think anyone was going to pay you top dollar for a massive robot?"
"Gamestop did apparently... By the way, I'm taking that card!"
The older saiyan easily snatched it from his son's hand.
"That works for me because I already spent it all."
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU WASTE FIVE ZENI, AND AT A GAMESTOP NO LESS BROLY!?"
"Easily."
He then pulled out a box.
"What exactly am I supposed to be looking at here?"
There was a figure with a gigantic square head and a small body. Calling it a bobble head would be far from accurate. It was more like some cursed abomination brought about by plastic and the evils of consumerism. That and the bug eyed stare it gave off, screaming "I have no soul!"
"A funko pop."
"Do people actually buy these?"
"You'd be surprised. Sometimes you see someone who has a whole wall full of the damn things. I can't stand the sight of them!"
"Then why on earth did you buy it!?"
"To give it a proper send off of course!"
The longer that Paragus looked at it, the less he understood. But if anything was clear, it was that his son needed therapy.
"Broly... What have I told you about buying Trunks figures..."
"It's not to keep, I have to destroy it."
"Excuse me?"
"I can't believe they massacred my princess like this! The proper thing to do is to just put it out of its misery and then give it a proper funeral."
"Broly... you realize it's an inanimate object right...?"
"An offense to my eyes and to Kami is what it is!"
"I can't deal with this right now, where's Turles?"
-------------
"Why do you keep staring at me?"
Raditz was doing a bad job at keeping a low profile. Turns out that hiding behind a house plant is a bad idea when you have 3 foot long hair.
'I knew I should have hid in a cardboard box!'
"It's okay if you think I'm hot, I mean who wouldn't like me-"
"GROSS, YOU LOOK LIKE MY FATHER!"
"Then why do you keep looking at my ass, you pervert?"
"Pervert!? I'm not the one who walks around in a thong-"
"Ah, Turles. Just the saiyan I've been looking for!"
Once Paragus arrived, Raditz took the opportunity to flee. This would be perhaps the only time that he was grateful for being in the same room as the elder saiyan.
"What do you want Paragus?"
"It seems that Broly just traded in Dr. Wheelo's rent for five zeni at gamestop-"
"Really? They only gave me two zeni when I sold them that PlayStation five I stole- er, I mean, found."
"It looks like we'll be running behind on rent money so I was wondering when I can speak with Bojack?"
"He said something about going to plunder some booty?"
"I hope to Kami that's just a euphemism..."
"Last time I saw him, he was digging in the backyard."
"SHIT!"
-------------
"BOJACK, HAVE YOU GONE INSANE!?"
There were massive holes dug into the ground and dirt was everywhere. It almost seemed as if they had a dog... If that dog was from hell and was the size of Cerberus!
The pirate was now popping out of each hole like a lemur.
"Who's there!?"
"IT'S ME YOU IDIOT!"
"Paragus? What brings you all the way out back here? Don't tell me your after my treasure now!"
"Treasure? Is that what you've been doing?"
"Yes. I found a map in your house and the x marking the spot was supposed to be right here! I haven't found it yet so it must be close-"
"Give me that!"
Paragus groaned. He recognized this map.
"This is from a board game, there is no burried treasure!"
"You mean to tell me that I've spent the last three hours digging around for nothing?"
"YES!"
This would now be added to Bojack's list of regrets, right under killing Zangya.
"I think I've earned myself a nice drink or two. Maybe ten..."
"Before you do that, there's something I need to ask you about."
-------------
"What do you mean it's gone!?"
"Gone, as in not here-"
"I know that! What I'm asking is how do you lose a pirate ship that big!?"
"Lose? What makes you think I left it?"
"Are you telling me that your ship was destroyed!?"
"Of course not!"
The saiyan sighed in relief. At least the treasure was safe.
"Zangya stole it!"
"Why would she go and do something like that!?"
"Probably for revenge."
That was a fair point.
"Is there anyway we can steal it back!?"
"It's not worth the effort. Besides, I have this place to live in now-"
"You're only here because I thought you could pay rent!"
"Rent? You know pirates don't believe in that right?"
"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PAY ME WITH WHAT YOU HAD! A LITTLE BIT OF GOLD OR SOME JEWELS AND YOU WOULD BE FREE TO LIVE HERE!"
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I haven't stolen anything like that in a long time."
"Then just what the hell have you been doing this up until now!?"
"Pirating. It's much easier."
"Easier how?"
"To do. Whether it's downloading movies or uploading text books online-"
"I thought pirates were in it for the money?
"That's actually a huge misconsemption-"
Paragus stopped listening at this point, as he didn't care about ethics and how "piracy isn't the same as theft" yadda yadda ya.
"What am I going to do now!?"
It was then that Broly came over.
"I didn't know you guys wanted to help with the funeral?"
"We don't! This oaf has been looking for buried treasure!"
"Why would there be treasure here?"
"Why don't you ask him yourself!?"
His father then went off and Broly was now alone with Bojack.
"You're not using these holes are you?"
"No...?"
"Good! I need to have somewhere to bury this!"
The saiyan then got down on his knees and dropped the purple box down the hole.
"Rest in peace..."
He then pulled out his phone and began to play the murder of love.
I've
I've been a victim of your love
Like many before
So many before
You
You've strangled me with all your charms
I yearn for more
I'm yearning for more
I'm charging you with murder
The fire of love's dying down
But in the face of the verdict
I'm feeling all jealousy drown
Plead for mercy
You
You've been convicted by a kiss
You shared too much
You shared too much
I
I was a witness of your crime
Now I'm the judge
I am the judge
I'm charging you with murder
The fire of love's dying down
But in the face of the verdict
I'm feeling all jealousy drown
Plead for mercy
I'm charging you with murder
The fire of love's dying down
But in the face of the verdict
I'm feeling all jealousy drown
I'm charging you with murder
The fire of love's dying down
But in the face of the verdict
I'm feeling all jealousy drown
I'm charging you with murder
The fire of love's dying down
"It's what princess would have wanted..."
Broly was now wiping his eyes with a handkerchief as Bojack looked at him like he was insane.
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 41 · Part 40 can be read here
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 1 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 40
"Don't worry Black, you won't have to go hungry anymore-"
The trio had just come back to see Raditz with a stomach so big, that one might mistake him for being pregnant.
"Normally I would ask your mortal friend if he's expecting but since taking over this body and experimenting with it, I know that isn't how your species produces off spring..."
"...The fuck-"
"Silence Raditz! We have bigger problems, like how did you get into the locked fridge!?"
"No way, he's wearing my dead brothers body as a skin suit! I at least deserve to know who he's fucking-"
"If you must know, Zamasu was the "top" in our relationship."
"I figured he'd be more of a bottom-"
"For Kami's sake Broly..."
"My gaydar is never wrong!"
Paragus was getting too old for this.
"Raditz, you'll tell me how you ate our entire stock of food or I'll throw you into a meat grinder and feed you to Black myself!"
"Locks?"
The saiyan then noticed his son quietly trying to tiptoe away.
"Broly, stop that at once and come back! You know we can all hear you scurrying away like a rat you know!"
"But I was really trying to be quiet this time..."
"It's not your fault son. Toei gave you the same sound as Cell when he walks. What is your fault however, is forgetting to secure the damn meat!"
---------
"I already told you, you can't ground me! I'm thirty!"
"If you live in my house then you'll live by my rules! End of discussion!"
Paragus decided that finding more tenants could wait. Goku Black was a powerful ally he needed in his arsenal so it was best to feed him before the mortal/god dropped dead on the spot.
"But where should I take him?"
Meat was meat at the end of the day, so was best not to put too much thought into it.
"Black, come! We're getting Arby's!"
---------
"He thinks he's so smart for turning off the wi-fi but I don't need the internet! I can always see Trunks when I go to sleep."
Speaking of princess, it had felt like forever since they last saw each other. In actuality, it was a few days ago when he snuck on to the Capsule Corp. property and "delivered" that outfit.
"I wonder if he liked it... I made it so it would match my sultan costume. And if he doesn't want to do matching outfits, than he can always say he's cosplaying as Shantae..."
The costume did include a gold hair piece if he wanted to wear a ponytail.
'It"s a good thing princess is already tan or else he'd get white washing accusations and I absolutely will not have that!"
Ever since Trunks shouted to those troops to not shoot Goku (since he wasn't "Black"), the saiyan had gotten a reputation online for being a "racist". It certainly didn't help his cause when people found out his hatred of androids.
"How can he be racist when he's both human and saiyan?"
Broly didn't seem to know that Bulma and Vegeta had only wanted to fuck each others brains out. His wife would often say derogatory things about the saiyans, usually right in front of the prince's face. Vegeta always let it slide though because of something called "oppai". Whatever that meant. Oh well, it was time to sleep.
Dreams soon found him, and now everything resembled one of those princess type movies. This time it was a golden palace, Broly wearing his ridiculous Sultan costume (which wasn't that different from his regular clothes except he now wore a large cape and hat that had the same style of jewel as the ones on his gauntlets). He sat on a large throne made out of solid gold while his father was in his underwear, forced to kneel.
'This dream couldn't get any better!'
He now heard the sound of chains rattle.
'Princess...'
There he was in the flesh (well as much as one can be for a dream). Trunks wall all dolled up and wearing that cute costume too. Broly smiled and easily scooped him up. Trunks was now sitting face forwards on the large saiyans lap. Broly tucked a stray lock of purple hair behind the princesses ear.
"I need an adult-"
"I am an adult."
"Crap baskets..."
After some gentle head patting, Trunks chin was now lifted up by a massive finger.
"It pains me to see you reduced to this, Princess. Beautiful lavender such as yourself should be on the arm of the most powerful saiyan in the world."
A gold circlet resembling Broly's now appeared out of thin air.
"What do you say, my dear? Why, with you as my queen..."
"Never!"
"I was afraid you were going to say that..."
Thankfully he had all seven dragon balls. They were to his right and were upon a pillar that held a red cushion in between.
"Shenron... I have decided to make my final wish. I wish for Princess Trunks to fall desperately in love with me!"
Since this was still a dream, those "bullshit" rules as Broly put it, wouldn't be a problem.
"It is done! Farewell...."
He looked down and noticed Trunks cheeks had started to flush.
"How do you feel princess?"
"Like you just violated my consent and if this were real, I would slash you to tiny pieces... But this is a dream so thankfully it's not canon!"
His dreams about Trunks were starting to become more realistic and Broly wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He then waited five minutes before asking again.
"Broly! Hm, I never realized how... incredibly handsome you are."
Trunks pupils were now comically heart shaped.
"Mm, that’s better. Now... princess, tell me more about…myself."
"You’re... tall... and dark..."
"Yes?"
"Well dressed..."
"Go on."
"You're the legendary super saiyan! You've stolen my heart..."
"And Mai?"
"What about her?"
Broly now reached down to kiss Trunks on the lips. Or he would have, if he wasn't so rudely awakened.
"DISGUSTING! I WOULD SOONER EAT ONE OF MY OWN LIMBS THEN GO BACK TO THAT HELL HOLE!"
It turns out that not even Goku Black liked Arby's (which seemed to surprise everyone but Paragus). With his mood killed and erection deflated, Broly wound up driving everyone to McDonald's. When Black complained about the band aid in his mcnuggets, he was told that it was "part of the surprise from his happy meal." In the end, everyone ended up getting E. coli.
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