💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 45 · Part 44 can be read here
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 44
"THE DEAL'S OFF!"
"Why are you dressed like your father?"
Broly stormed back home, only to run into a group of confused villains that he unfortunately lived with.
"Move past that already! Unless you're my old man, then you can beat it!"
The gang spoke in hushed whispers.
"I guess that explains why Paragus is nearly nude and sporting a black eye..."
"Should we put him in a healing tank?"
"Raditz, you idiot! You know that we don't have those!"
"Well, what else are we supposed to do? Put him to bed and nurse him back to health!?"
They then all looked at Black.
"For the last time, just because I enjoy cooking, that doesn't mean you all can treat me as a maid!"
----------
Unbeknownst to them, a stranger lurking outside happened to hear their conversation.
"A maid hmm. That gives me an idea..."
----------
After debating over what to do about their landlord, the tenants just gave Paragus to Krang. They figured the octopus would know what to do with the one eyed man. Besides, it was dinner time and they didn't want to delay it any longer. While Black was at the oven, he heard his phone start to ring.
"Blasted mortal inventions! Can one of you ningens get it?"
"You can't keep using that word on us!"
"Yes I can, I'm Goku Black! Even if I'm stuck in human flesh, I'm still a God! Now will you answer the phone or do I need to bring the scythe out!?"
"I'll get it..."
Turles was currently left with nothing else to do after his failure to show his roommates that infamous shock video.
"Yello?"
Without checking the ID, he answered the call.
"May I speak to Black?"
"Who is this?"
"...And just who exactly am I speaking with?"
"Turles. It's actually Tullece but everyone just calls me-"
"I don't care!-"
The stranger then composed themselves.
"My apologies... I'm calling about that contest-"
"What contest?"
"...Is that really important?..."
"Yes."
"You know, I would really be much more comfortable with Mr. Black on the phone..."
"Too bad cause he's busy."
"...How else am I supposed to tell him when to pick up his prize-"
"Prize? What prize? Is it good?"
"I can assure you that Black will love it! I just need him to reach this address-"
"Whatever you need signed, I'll do it, just drop it off here!"
"My... Persistent aren't we?"
"What can I say, I'm just a guy who likes treasure!"
"..."
"Hello?"
There was just a dial tone coming from the other end now.
"Eh, I'm sure it's fine!"
- Meanwhile on the other end -
"Fine! If I can't get Black to see me than I'll just have to go visit him!"
----------
"Did you guys hear that?"
"Oh boy, my package!"
Turles rushed outside and saw a crude, cardboard box on the door step.
"Man, that was fast!"
Hey went back inside and placed it on the table.
"What is that you're holding?"
"Dunno Bojack, guess we're gonna find out!"
Right as he was about to open it, the lid flew open and the content came out.
"What the?"
"Is that fucking Zamasu!?"
The God stood on the table, scowling down at Turles.
"I thought this was supposed to be a present!"
"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR BLACK, NOT YOU!"
The green kai was dressed in a French dress, with a choker, black high heels and lace fishnet stockings.
"Ooooohhh, that's why you kept wanting me to put him on the phone-"
"YES!"
The loud noise was now attracting other members of the household.
"Can you cut it with the shouting!? If Broly wakes up then we're doom- ...Zamasu?"
"It's so good to see you!"
"I don't understand, how did you even manage to find me!?"
"I put a tracker on your phone. Mortal technology was never your strong suit."
"You shouldn't be here!"
"I know... I've thought about what you said and you're right. I've decided to let you eat food-"
"The fuck does he mean by decided!?"
"That's not going to make me change my mind."
"What if I served you wearing just this?"
"Don't do it Black! Hoes before bros!"
"That's right! If she breathes, she's a thot!"
Turles and Bojack then looked at each other.
"Wait, isn't Zamasu gay?"
"But I thought the kais were non binary? They come from trees right?"
"But then why would Arinsu have boobs?"
"You know what, I'm done here. My brain can only think so much at a time!"
"Screw it, why don't we get drunk and marathon Pirates of the Caribbean?"
Turles gave Bojack the manliest hug of all time.
"You know me so well man!"
The two Gods watched as they held hands while chanting merry sea shanties. They then waited for the mortals to leave the room.
"I'm glad that nonsense is over with!"
"So what do you say Black? Will you take me back?"
"I'd like to but I'm currently living here and I doubt that you would be able to room with me..."
"I know a simple solution."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Let's fuse! That way we can be together and it will still work out!"
"I love you!"
"I love you more!"
They then touched tips and became one. Fused Zamasu was looking at his body when he felt his hand clamp over his mouth.
"It seems that I have the sudden urge to vomit an entire months worth of meat!"
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 44 · Part 43 can be read here
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 2 · The Adventures of Broccoli Boy Part 43
"Really Dad!? You want to bring that cockroach here!?"
"Look Broly, I've got to pay our bills somehow-"
"And let him infest out house with his spawn-"
"Right, I forgot about that. Well, you'll just have to tell him that indoor "pets" are prohibited while he's a tenant-"
"What do you mean by "you"!?"
--------------
"Hey, have any of you worms seen Cell lately?"
Raditz, Bojack and Turles were huddled together on the couch while Black was in a apron. It turns out that trying new foods had got the god addicted to cooking.
"You don't mean to tell me that I have more mouths to feed, do you?"
Black sighed. Cooking for saiyans itself was a chore.
"Unless human flesh is an ingredient for that recipe book, then no. And besides, he doesn't eat with his mouth."
"Then what on earth does he use?"
Broly smirked and walked over to whisper into Black's ear.
"Has anyone ever told you about vorareaphilia?"
--------------
"Disgusting! Zamasu was right about ending all of humanity!"
"Aren't you also Zamasu though?"
"Technically speaking, I'm from a different time line where I traded bodies with the one you call Son Goku-"
"When you and your ex made out, did that count as selfcest?"
"I think I'll be leaving this conversation now..."
"So is it any different than using your hand-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH THIS!"
Turles had his phone out to show the other men the infamous, 1 namekian, 1 jar.
"I think it's starting!"
"You mortals disgust me! If it weren't for all the delicious food then I'd already be back at the cabin..."
Broly then cut in again.
"Still waiting to know where Cell is you guys-"
"FOR FUCKS SAKE, JUST CHECK TO SEE WHERE THE NEAREST SMASH TOURNAMENT IS!"
Turles had a point.
'I'm embarrassed that I didn't think of that sooner...'
While the group was distracted, Broly took his chance to leave.
...
"Is this supposed to be happening or...."
"What the hell! This isn't the right video!"
"Seems right to me. You said it was about a namekian and a jar right?"
On the screen was footage of Ma Jr./Piccolo at the world's martial art tournament.
"What's the evil containment wave?"
"How the hell should I know!"
"Because you said you've already seen this-"
"THIS ISN'T THE SAME FUCKING VIDEO!"
"Why is Piccolo swallowing the jar now?"
"Is this the hole you were telling us about-"
"NO! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO IN HIS MOUTH, IT'S MEANT TO GO UP HIS A-"
Black came back in to turn off the stove (he forgot to earlier while trying to escape from Broly's questioning).
"Filthy mortals...."
--------------
"What do you mean he's not here!?"
"We banned him last time when he started getting into fights with kids."
"Does that happen often?"
"You wouldn't believe half the shit that goes on at these smash tournaments. Frankly, half of our attendees shouldn't even be allowed near children. In fact some are already ordered by the court-"
"What the hell is wrong with you people!?"
--------------
"Gross! I need a shower!"
After having no luck, Broly was just about to give up, until a piece of paper blew straight into his face.
"An anime convention?"
Sometimes these events did have gaming rooms. And he knew his father wouldn't let him off the hook so easily... He groaned, knowing that he would have to interact with more people who refuse to wear deodorant.
"Please just let this day end soon..."
--------------
"Sorry sir, I can't let you in without a costume-"
"You're joking right?"
"Afraid not."
"How do you even know if this isn't a costume?"
The man behind the counter brought a random attendee over.
"Woah, I love your Sailor Moon tiara-"
"I'TS NOT FROM SAILOR MOON! DID YOU THINK WEARING THAT HUNK OF METAL WAS FUN FOR ME!?"
....
"Shit..."
"Again, you need a costume to enter sir-"
"Wait a minute, I'm not even wearing the crown! Just how the hell did you know who I am!?"
The crowd behind him was starting to get angry.
"Get out of the way!"
"He's holding up the line!"
"Do you have any idea just how long I worked on making this buster sword for my Cloud cosplay!?"
"That's just cardboard wrapped together with duct tape!"
"BOO!"
The crowd had now become an angry mob.
"You win for now... When I come back, I want some answers!'
--------------
"Back so soon Broly? How did it go with Cell-"
His son aimed his fist straight at his only good eye, sending the older man flying straight into a concrete wall.
"Normally, I would say sorry in advance but we both now I'm not."
There laid Paragus, unconscious and sporting a black eye.
"His vision is still in tact... That's too bad, I was hoping he'd have two giant X's plastered on his face. Well, I guess I better get started then."
After stripping his father of all his remaining clothes (minus the underwear. No one, sane or insane wanted to see their dad's junk.) Broly now looked at himself in the mirror.
"That asshole should let me in now! It's also a good thing I had this spare thong!"
The black thong being one of the many unsent gifts for Trunks.
"I still think it would look better on him than me though..."
--------------
He soon made his way back, only to notice that there was a different employee at the desk.
"Damn. Must have just ended their shift..."
Broly would just have to search for them later.
"One ticket please."
"Here you go. By the way, I love your sexy buzz light year outfit..."
'This doesn't even remotely resemble him!'
"Thanks... You wouldn't happening to know if there's a gaming tournament would you?"
The employee handed him a map with a circle drawn around the room.
"You can't miss it."
It was time to find Cell.
--------------
After dodging multiple cosplayers who wanted to take a photo, and rushing past the art booths that were filled to the brim with nothing but porn (for both male and female gooners) and overpriced items from aliexpress, Broly finally made it to the gaming room.
"Everyone here smells like Raditz once he's done with the bathroom..."
Having a saiyans sense of smell was more of a curse than a blessing.
"What the- KAKAROT!?"
Standing in front of a large group of people was none other than his accursed enemy. Broly transformed into the legendary super saiyan and chu chued his way over.
"Hey Broly, I see you're still doing your lariats. So what brings you here-"
"Cut the crap Kakarot! What are you doing here!? More importantly, why aren't you wearing a costume!?"
"I'm actually a guest speaker so I'm allowed to wear my gi. By the way, have I introduced you to my good friend Gloria?"
"I told you, it's Glorio..."
Next to him was a short, blue majin with a tired look on his face.
'I don't like how he's stealing my princesses look...'
"Whatever! Do you know where I can find Cell!?"
"He left early I think-"
"WHAT!?"
"Oh wait, that was Cell Max. Cell's hanging out with the furries-"
"WHY ARE YOU SO IRRITATING!?"
"I've been asking the same thing myself..."
"You don't really mean that, do you Leorio?"
"Like I already told you, my name is Glorio-"
"Ugh, I don't have time for this, I'll beat you up later!"
"Come back Broly! You still didn't meet glory hole!"
Glorio pulled out his gun and brought it to his temple.
'I wonder if I'd just go back to the demon realm or straight to hell..."
He lowered his hand. While Goku was hard to deal with, it was nothing compared to Gomah.
--------------
"I've finally found you Cell!"
"Another cosplayer? Alright, but a photo is going to cost you twenty five zeni-"
"I don't want a photo you narcissist! Also, why the hell are you hanging around these weirdos?"
"If you must know, they're furries and these are the only people who won't kink shame me. It's not often that you run into a group of people that also enjoy vore. Their music is pretty bad though..."
"Just what the fuck am I listening to!?"
"JustinRPG... This lovely, little number is called stuck in lugia's stomach alone-"
"I wish that I was Piccolo so I could tear my ears off!"
"You get used to it after a while. Besides, need to support Jr. somehow-"
"How is this going to help your roach ridden spawn?"
"I need to get them their sustenance."
Cell had the top half of some poor soul stuck in his bussy.
"Are you going to finish that or..."
"I know it's not ideal, but I'm partially digesting him. The young ones have trouble chewing so think of it as a mother bird feeding her babies-"
Broly was vomiting up so much bile that he ran out and blood started coming from his mouth instead.
"Was that really necessary?"
"YES! TO HELL WITH THIS, I'M TELLING FATHER THE DEAL'S OFF!"
"Deal?"
He wiped the blood from his mouth with Paragus's white cape (making sure to leave a stain).
"For some reason, my father thought that it would be a great idea to have you live with us, but that option has now sailed!"
"While I would never consider something so idiototic, I must admit that it could be quite fun. Imagine, I could taunt you every day!"
"Another reason why the deal is off!"
Cell got up and looked into the saiyans eyes.
"Did I ever tell you how exhilarating it was to kill Trunks not once, but twice?"
...
The building was soon obliterated from Broly's sheer wrath. Cell, like the cockroach that he was, survived the encounter.
"Why does everyone always forget that I have Piccolo's regeneration?"
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