About Matt Healy
I’ve been quiet about Matt Healy, because I didn’t have time to write a proper post. I didn’t like how people immediately thought he was attention seeking or is a misogynist, without even bothering to read some of his past interviews or listen to some of the songs he wrote. She Lays Down is a song about his mother’s experience of post-natal depression after giving birth to him. If you guys have been following up with the saga, Matt has clarified that he has been quoted out of context, and that the media unfairly sliced his words to make him look like a misogynist just for sensationalism.
I am inclined to support Matt. Yes, his choice of words were not the best, and I think most jumped when they heard he said it would be emasculating to date Taylor. However, if you’ve bothered to look for the full Q Magazine article and read it, you would realise he’s not insulting Taylor, and neither is he misogynistic.
If you read those pages, he’s talking about him grappling with his sense of identity due to the sudden fame, and how dating a more popular artist like Taylor would not have helped the situation. It just seems like he is still finding himself right now. It’s wrong to attack him for that. Matt has always been terribly candid (read: mouthy), and has always talked about his difficulties with coping with fame and committing in relationships:
Last autumn the attention of another celebrity took him to another level, a secret garden of fame. Taylor Swift was pictured at a 1975 show, and rumours abounded that the pair were an item.
He was drawn into her world – “The things that surround her are like Barack Obama. I fell for her a little bit, but everyone falls for Taylor Swift” – and then discovered, to his horror, what it meant to be linked with Swift. “The day after she’d been to a show of ours, someone sent me a screenshot of E! News with the headline ‘Who is Matt Healy?’ That freaked me out. I’m not ready to indulge in that world and I’m not ready to be judged by that world.” via Guardian
“I’ve only recently been able to develop platonic relationships with women. My obsession with femininity has changed and I’ve got a more adult perspective on it.” via Guardian
I also like that Matt is self-aware and readily accepts when he is wrong:
At one point, a fan shouted, “I love you, Matty!” He’s ashamed of his response. “What did I say to the poor fucking girl? ‘You don’t have the right to love me. You don’t know me. I love you but you don’t get to love me.’ Jesus. Can you imagine your favourite band shouting that at you? What a dickhead. What a horrible thing to say to a kid who fucking does love me.” via Guardian If he was truly misogynistic or such a jerk, he wouldn’t be regretting what he said to his fan. The fact that he openly talks about it and admits he was a dick shows how he’s not one.
Laura Barton, the journalist who wrote the Q Magazine piece has also defended Matt, and agrees Matt was not being misogynistic:
I’d seen it as a way to discuss not only Swift in particular but relationships in general. “I feel like I’m not very good at relationships,” he’d said, and I wondered why. Healy explained the jumble of reasons – insecurity, self-obsession, a fear of misrepresentation. Was it also, I asked, a fear of losing himself? He nodded. “Absolutely. And the reason I mention that is because if I had [properly] gone out with Taylor Swift the first thing I would’ve [thought was] ‘Fucking hell I am NOT being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.’ You know, FUCK. THAT.” Then he had added an afterthought: “That’s also a man thing, a de-masculinating, emasculating thing.”
This week his comments have been cast as a slight on Swift (according to Elle, he was “throwing shade” at her). I don’t see them that way. I see them as the thoughts of a musician with an ego and ambition to match that of Swift, who does not want to be viewed as the subordinate in a partnership. The feelings of an artist who wants to be celebrated in his own right.
The reason I asked whether he feared losing himself in a relationship had nothing to do with the fact he was a male pop star who had been linked to another, more successful female pop star – it was because I think it’s something that many of us, myself included, often struggle with.
In fact, Laura sums it up the whole saga pretty well here:
Except I do hope for one thing: that the young fans of Healy and his band, perhaps even those of Taylor Swift too, might take a moment to consider their relationship with gossip culture. Because if we’re going to haul anyone up for misogynistic behaviour, I can think of no greater culprits than the tabloid newspapers. And if we’re ever to be truly liberated from outdated gender roles, we can help ourselves by not wasting our precious time on those who perpetuate them.
My other beef is that people have compared Calvin with Matt. Is it relevant? Taylor is not with Matt, so why do some of you need to talk about how bad Matt is for Tay? She’s with Calvin because he’s great for her, not because of any other reasons. It’s toxic to compare Tayvin to something that never even started. So please, stop.
