Did the letters from the Inquisitor in veilguard make you a little mad? Did you want to ride down to Ferelden and save it?
Well you can't do that. But you can read my fic about some of my favourite character from the previous games protecting their homes from the sixth blight. It jumps around a lot, and will cover the whole timeline of Veilguard.
However, this time, I allowed my dear Commander to win, hoping he would do a Garrus and spout ‘I’M CULLEN RUTHERFORD AND THIS IS NOW MY FAVOURITE SPOT IN SKYHOLD’
But I guess this outcome was a bit more tender.
‘It seems luck favoured you today’
~Maybe Cully isn’t thinking about chess when he smiles~
There's so much Daddy!Cullen and all going on I had to hop in (at least, there was at the time when I started writing this.). Takes place before Trespasser. It's not a very long story, just an interaction between young Aiden, whom Allandra and Cullen adopted.
Soft gurgles and happy coos came from the small crib that now sat near his parent's bed. Father had gone to oversee the soldier's drill practice, amongst other things; Mother had fallen asleep on the small couch reading over some paperwork.
Aiden was, when he wanted to be, exceptionally quiet for a boy of five. Using some of the sneaky-tricks mamma had taught him, the boy retrieved a stool that sat nearby -it was one he often sat on for his lessons with Aunt Josie or mum - and made his way to the crib. Sure, he had seen the babe a few times since she had been born, but always wrapped up protectively in a blanket, and always held by mamae or papa.
The cooing and the other happy little noises continued drifting from the little pink thing in the crib as Aiden stood on his tip-toes to take a more personal look. Crinkling his nose, the boy reached in, waving a chubby finger over the babies face. He watched in some amusement as the babe's eyes followed the movement, reaching up with her own tiny little hands as if to try and grab for his finger.
“Hii Issy. I'm your big brother.” Aiden does his best to whisper – their mother and father were busy people, and with the new baby, mum hadn't had much in the way of sleep the past few days. “You're gonna like Skyhold! I'mma teach you all kinds'a games when you get bigger. We gonna play hide ‘n seek, an’ ball, an --”
“Aiden, what are you doing?” The boy jumped, letting out a small squeak when his father's voice came from his side. Brown eyes looked up to meet Cullen's golden brown, who simply looked amused rather than the angry Aiden was expecting.
“I just wanted to look, papa.” Aiden hung his head sheepishly. Was he not allowed to look?
Cullen smiled, took a quick glance back to see that Allandra had not stirred, before taking the few steps to stand next to Aiden. “How long has your mother been asleep?”
Aiden shrugged. He hadn't really been paying attention. “ I 'unno papa. I was playing, an' then mama was asleep.”
After removing gauntlets and gloves, Cullen picked the baby girl up out of her crib, moving to the bed with her. Aiden watched curiously, then hopped up on the bed himself when he was waved over.
“Sit up against the footboard there, Aiden.” The boy squirmed and wiggled till his back was up against the high footboard. “Now, arms out, just like that – good boy. Watch her head,” Together, the father helped situate the babe in the little boy's arms. “There we go.” Aiden smiled brilliantly up at Cullen, who returned the look with a smile and a pleased twinkle in his eyes.
With the baby so close now, Aiden takes a moment to inspect her. She's tiny, and doesn't have much in the way of hair. What is there shows hints of blonde like Cullen. Blue eyes stare back up at him; the baby smiles and lets out a giggle, arms waving. Tiny fingers catch on the boy's nose. The biggest difference between Aiden and little 'Issy' was the babe's ears – at a glance, they looked human enough. This close, Aiden could see the daintiest of curves to the ears, hinting at her elf-blood.
“Issy wiggles a lot, papa.” The baby yawned, arms flapping up and down as little infants are want to do.
“Well – she's only a few days old. Babies do that. The wiggling helps her to learn how everything works.” Cullen reached over, ruffling the boy's mop of dark brown hair.
“....Papa?” Aiden's voice wavered, little brows knitted together in worry. His look was pleading when he looked up to his father.
“Hm?”
Aiden looked sheepish again. “One'a the kids earlier said you an' mamae were gonna get rid'a me now that you got Issy.” It was all said in a rush, and half a mumble, that Cullen was barely able to make any of it out.
“Get rid of--? Aiden, why in the world would you think that?” Cullen reached over, gathering 'Issy' - Aiden was working on saying her full name, but for now, Issy seemed to work - up, returning her to her crib as she dozed again. It was just a moment for him to return to the bed, this time scooping Aiden up and settling the boy on his knee. “Tell me what happened.”
Aiden felt the tips of his ears turn red. “Kaiya said that when a new baby comes the older ones gotta go! An' since you an' mamae got me from an orphy-nage I'd get sent back!” There were tears in the boys eyes now. He sniffled, wiping at his nose by the end of his explanation.
Cullen tried his best to not laugh at the logic of children – especially of other children bullying his own. With the softest of chuckles, Cullen wrapped the young boy in a hug. “Kaiya is wrong, and I will speak to her parents later.” Tipping the child’s chin so he was looking up at his father, Cullen kissed Aiden softly on the forehead before wiping the tears away. “You are our boy – your mother and I would not trade you for anything in the world. You understand that? We love you.”
Small arms reached up to wrap around Cullen’s neck. “I love you too papa.” Try as he might, Aiden struggled to hide the yawn that was working its way up. In the end, he failed, letting out a viscous yawn.
It was the early hours of the morning, still dark out. Allandra jerked awake, a sudden fear in her heart. The dalish rolled over, expecting to find Cullen next to her.
The bed was otherwise empty. The side he slept on was still somewhat warm, so he had not been gone long.
Sitting up, blue eyes swept the room, finding it just as empty as the bed. The balcony was likewise empty.
The Commanders armor and sword were gone.
Slipping from the covers, Allandra dressed quickly. Where in the hells would he be at this time of night?
At the foot of the bed, Ath'laros stirred from sleep. The wolf yawned, eyeing his mistress curiously.
"Go back to sleep," Allandra told her hunting companion.
In these strange hours between night and dawn, Skyhold was silent and still, seemingly empty of life. The throne room stones echoed with every step the Inquisitor took, no matter how softly she tried.
The dalish woman made her way out of the keep proper, looking over the courtyard. With a deep breath of the frigid air, she let her feet choose the direction.
Where WAS Cullen?
As she walked, her mind took her back to what had frightened her so.
Nightmares of battles - Adamant, most recently - the arrow and poison that could have very well killed her human lover. Allandra shivered, and not necessarily from the cold.
Her feet took her past the training yard, and likewise, the tower Cullen used as his office.
No luck there, either.
One more place, then.
The dalish spun, changing direction. She reached her destination soon enough and was rewarded.
Relief washed over Allandra - there Cullen was, knelt on the stone floor of the room before the statue of Andraste. If he was saying anything, she could not hear.
She did not want to interrupt, so she stayed in the doorway.
Cullen head tilted in her direction; golden honey eyes spying the Inquisitor. He stood, turning fully to her.
Allandra's icy blue eyes searched his face - she could see he was tired. There was something hainting him behind that exhaustion, though he tried to hide both.
So she moved from the door and into the small sanctuary towards him.
"Vhenan, my love," she paused as she reached him, hands settling on his arms. "What troubles you so? I woke and found you missing..."
Cullen ducked his head, resting his forehead against her vallaslin covered one. "I did not mean to trouble you. I..." he paused in turn - being vulnerable, even in private, still proved difficult at times.
"Was it the nightmares again?" Allandra prodded softly. She lifted a hand to his face, running delicate, calluses fingers along his chin and jawline.
At his nod, she hummed in understanding.
"Allandra. You should still be in bed."
"So should you."
Cullen stepped away, gently tugging her arm to follow. Together, they sat on one of the rough benches.
"I know. I just - I awoke and could not settle again. I didn't want to disturb you, so I came here."
Allandra scooted in, as close as she could, running her fingers now across the back of his neck.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Worry knit her brows together, pulled her lips down to a concerned frown.
Cullen shifted himself, leaning forward, resting elbows on knees. He leaned forward, resting his head in his hands.
Allandra thought maybe he would not answer as the silence dragged on. Her mind raced - she knew a few details of his past, much of it was vague about, wanting to relive the horrors of Kinloch or Kirkwall as little as possible.
"I was back in Kinloch. Trapped in that room under a magical barrier." His voice, not much above a whisper, finally broke the silence. "Bodies of Templar, mages, and demons all around me. For days, they laid there, rotting into the stone, the demons that still lived tearing into the flesh, gorging on it the dead."
Allandra felt an ache in her heart- he'd never spoken about the Hold. As much as she wished and wanted to ease his pain, take it away...she knew this was a wound she could not heal.
"Demons, they love to make playthings of mortals. Especially when they cannot escape." There was something bitter in his tone of voice.
"Cullen--"
He didn't pause, wouldn't look up. "So many times, I felt near to breaking. Maybe I did, in a way. I can still hear the screams from those the blood mages used -tortured, killed - in the Harrowing Chamber. Wondering when they would come for me. When they were done, they tossed the bodies down the stairs."
Allandra continued caressing his neck, sometimes playing with his hair. A shudder from the former templar made her fingers still.
"Some nights... some nights, I can still feel the eyes from those bodies staring at me. Blaming me. People I knew - dead, because they would not turn to blood magic. People I was sworn to protect."
Leaning forward, Allandra wrapped her arms around Cullen as best she could, pulling him to her.
"It felt like an eternity, trapped in that room."
Cullen let out a deep, bone-weary sigh, shifting into the elfs embrace. Letting his eyes drift shut, the Commander took a deep breath, letting his lovers touch ground him back into the present.
"Sometimes, now, I see your face among the dead. And I fear that your death will be my fault, because I cannot protect you." Cullen reached up, grasping at Allandra's arm, if only to reassure himself she was really there.
"Cullen, look at me." Allandra tilted his head up by the chin. "My death, no matter what, will not be your fault or of your doing. Believe me in that, if nothing else."
The former templar looked long and hard into his lovers eyes, but could find nothing but love and conviction there.
After some moments, he nodded - still doubtful, if only of himself.
"Thank you."
Cullen looked confused, lifting a brow and tilting his head. "For...?"
"For trusting me. Loving me, protecting me. For being you." Allandra offered him a soft smile, which was easily returned.
"Shall we go back to bed, now, vhenan? It is early yet."
With a nod, he stood first, then offered Allandra a hand up.