Discover Top Posts Tagged with #laynestein

Layne: Can you recommend me a book that made you cry?

Eli: General mathematics, sixth edition.

Layne: I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.

J, bursting into the room: IF YOU KEEP CUTTIN’ EM DOWN, I’LL FEAST ON YOUR KNEES!!!

J: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want.

Geoff: Mm-hmm. Tell me about it.

J: I murdered Layne last night.

Geoff: I feel you.

J: Now that I have a taste for blood, I can't stop killing.

Geoff: Been there.

J: Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Layne: Sometimes I wonder how your mind works.

Queen in Five Minutes:

Yama: WHY DID YOU GIVE ANUBIS A SWORD???

Guardian: He felt unsafe!

Yama: NOW I FEEL UNSAFE!!!

Guardian: I'm sorry...

Guardian: ...Would you like a sword?

Eli and Layne: *Go out for drinks*

Bartender: *Glances at Eli and then at Layne*

Bartender, to Layne: Sir, your son's gonna need some ID.

Layne, sprinting into the room: EARL! EARL!

Earl: Ssh! Eli's sleeping.

Layne, whispering: Oh, okay.

Earl: What is it?

Layne: The house is on fire.

Layne: MooOOooOom! J's using those dirty words again!

J: I'm sorry, but who's Mom?

Geoff: By order of elimination, I assume it's me.

#laynestein