#ldr goodbye

[terminalbrainitch]

I know me and my long distance bf love each other because we spent the last 3 hours before he got on his plane to go home intermittently crying over how much we’re gonna miss each other

He started crying when I was latched onto him and babbled out that he wasn’t allowed to leave and packing his bag was illegal

I felt bad but at the same time misery that is shared is half the pain

[twonerdsldr]

I love you til the end

July 28, 2019

As we near the end of another summer month long visit, I wanted to write something for you, something meaningful. This trip had a lot of good and one big event that was unplanned but in some ways completely eye opening (at least for me).

First off, I want to explain the good. We got to spend quality time together and enjoy the little moments most couples take for granted. We got to share goodnight and good morning kisses. We got to be spontaneous together. We got to cuddle up and watch Stranger Things season 3. We got to spend every waking moment soaking in one another’s presence and energy. We got to spend solid, uninterrupted time together. We got to laugh together. We watched a sad movie together. We RPed together. We went POGOing. We saw ducks. We played video games. We ate together. We slept in the same room. We cuddled for no reason but to feel close. We got lots of blizzards and I got lots of Whataburger.

We had a month of normalcy at your house.

We also had important conversations. We shared feelings we needed to talk about. We set goals for the future. We spoke of engagement. We celebrated an anniversary.

We got to be a normal couple for one month.

I want to share what the “event” we’ve washed our hands of made me feel.

Love. True and unconditional love.

You passed out beside me. I saw your eyes roll back. I saw your hands and feet shake. I was petrified. I am not telling you this to upset you or make you anxious. I am telling you this because I want you to know that as I looked at you like that, as my mind ran over the worst scenarios, things I was petrified of...I realized that you are my soulmate, my #1, my end and beginning. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

In that moment...a moment I now consider defining...I was petrified of losing that and it made me fall even deeper in love with you if that is even possible.

Right now I am listening to your adorable snores, knowing I will be exhausted tomorrow, but happy that I got to be here and see that horrifying moment because it showed me how true my love for you is.

It is never easy to leave you. Not once. This year is even harder because I feared losing you and will probably worry for months now when you go quiet without warning, when you seem off or upset, when your sick. Yet in trying to find the good in all this, the good in goodbye or see you soon, the good in witnessing such a horrifying event before my eyes, fearing all our goals and plans would disappear into nothing.

In doing so, while leaving isn’t easy, I leave with an almost therapeutic understanding of my love for you and my appreciation of you. This summer, I am leaving knowing, without a doubt, that I see forever in your eyes and smile. I leave knowing that we’re one step closer to our forever.

I love you baby, always have and always will. You are my forever.

- Love always and forever, 🧡M