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The age gap between me and a bunch of the people I regularly interact with on here is starting to make me feel like some sort of camp counselor bonding with the ragtag group of kids who have ended up in my care for the summer
Like I'm significantly older, but not by nearly enough to be anyone's mom
To be perfectly clear I love this and I love all of you, you know who you are
MY WIFE GOT ME A MAY GUILTY GEAR HOODIE 💕💕💕
PICS BELOW THE BREAK!
Storytime!
When I was a young egg in the early 2000s, I, like every other child of the time, loved Pokemon. I had been fortunate to somehow come into possession of all three first gen titles, Red, Blue and Yellow and I played and loved all of them. However, when the second gen games released and my mom bribed me to get good grades by offering me a video game of my choice, I picked Pokemon Stadium for the N64 instead. It was a fun game, but it didn't have the same spark of adventure as a new mainline Pokemon game would have.
Eventually, once second gen had been out for a while and the upgrade game, Crystal, had been released, I scrounged up some money and bought a used copy from the local game shop at the mall. Once I got it home I popped it into my Gameboy color and flipped the switch.
I skipped past the opening animation and started a new game and what happened next would start a tiny snowball rolling in my brain that I wouldn't even notice for years to come;
It asked me if I was a boy or a girl.
I thought about it for a bit and decided to play as a girl. This was the first game I'd ever played that gave the option and I was sure all my friends would have chosen to play as boys, seeing as they were boys, so I thought playing as a girl would be more unique and interesting.
I don't remember what I named my character. I'm sure it wasn't Leah, but it definitely wasn't my name at the time either. I never put in my "real" name when asked for one in a game because, as I realize now, I didn't really like my name. It didn't feel like mine, so this was as good a chance as any to escape it.
In the years following, I almost always chose to play as a girl when given the option, always giving myself some excuse.
"Stories are always about guys, having it be about a girl would be more interesting."
"I would rather look at a girl for 40 hours then a guy." (Which, while being a classic egg move, is honestly still true on its face.)
Eventually I started getting closer to being honest with myself and told myself things like "I just relate to girls more for some reason."
It took almost two decades and a global pandemic for me to accept what all this was really about, but Pokemon Crystal and the character Kris was instrumental in getting that ball rolling and she will always have a special place in my heart for that.
I've had a few people ask how being poly works; how you get over jealousy, how you interact with your metamours (those who are involved with your partners but not directly with you), stuff like that, and I think the only good way I personally can answer that is to go into how I started getting into a poly situation.
My wife and I had lived together for years before I accepted that I was trans. After a bit of kerfuffle and for various reasons on both her part and mine, we decided to take a break to figure out who we were and what we wanted outside of each other, determined to stay best friends regardless of where we ended up.
Over the following year and change, we each explored and tried dating and loving new people, we each made new friends, had new crushes, and I ended up falling in love with someone new.
But over the course of all of this, we both realized that how we felt about other people had no impact on how we felt about each other. We still loved each other just as much even as we explored loving new people as well, and knowing and experiencing those feelings and each knowing that we would have each other for support no matter who else we were also involved with made us each a little more comfortable with the idea of staying together but having separate partners as well.
It took a lot of time, a lot of communication and trust, a lot of emotional struggle and a lot of honesty both with ourselves and with each other and our respective partners, but now it feels like we're really building something great for ourselves.
Obviously this is not for everyone, and honestly I think that's great. I think one of the greatest things about relationship dynamics, romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever else have you, is that they can look like almost anything and still be wonderful as long as the people in them are happy with, and respectful of themselves and each other.
Vibrating with anticipatory stress for reasons I will elaborate later, tonight or tomorrow, hopefully under more exciting circumstances!
My tummy is squishy and soft and I'm learning to like it
Love that years before I realized I was trans, it was pointed out by multiple independent parties within our friends and families that my wife and I were a lesbian couple
I really want to watch Bocchi but I'm certain it will make me very sad, both for gender reasons and also because I didn't keep playing bass
