#learning sobriety

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

PSA.

Please try to be understanding of my issues.

I am not entirely comfortable in my sobriety.

As my friend, if you call me and you are drunk, or high, and tell me that you are...

I'm likely not going to entertain your conversation.

Why? Because. I can't. I am trying to be "normal" but... listen, even I have enough respect to not just sit down next to someone using an oxygen tank to breathe and light up a cigarette. I don't feed people with allergies peanut butter cookies. And I don't offer my vegan friend a bite of my steak. . . Nor do I sit chomping down my hamburger while they stare at me in horror.

I don't mind being sober. However...i do mind having my sobriety tested by people who are too inconsiderate to actually realize my struggle.

So. Yeah. I'm not being rude by excusing myself from your conversation. I'm protecting my self from my self.

Thanks for understanding.

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

I had a conversation with a friend tonight. Guys. I'm crying. The absolute honest thing here is this friend started by asking if I was still sober..."being good". And...lead to him telling me that what I'm doing makes him believe he might be able to. I'm not that strong. But I'm staying strong enough. Im not doing great life wise, I'm struggling in so many directions but I do believe when I get stronger, I'll have less of a struggle. The struggle isn't going to get better by giving up or giving in. 5 months sober guys. 5 months since I almost died from a near fatal unintentional overdose. 5 months since I quit hustling, hiding, and hurting myself. I'm no where near who I used to be, and I'm still not sure who I am going to be. But I do know...its a better version of the me I've always been. And...again...stronger day by day. I'm gonna get to where I need to be. I'm a work in progress.