How to lead other men.
I posted a series of questions yesterday that I feel need to be asked of men of ALL ages and walks of life that desire to be “Traditional Male Leaders” in their respective homes and lives. I will now do my best to explain my opinion of the answers to the questions I posed.
I feel that question #1 was a general synopsis of the questions that followed it so I’m going to start with question #2.
In order to learn how to lead other men, a man must first look to men who are already in a leadership role. Whether that be at your job, in your school, in your social circle, your church, your local government, or society as a whole. I advise that you try to pick a man from each of those areas. Try to pick men that have different leadership styles as well. Mind you, these do not have to be morally good men either. Though I would advise to pick men of good moral character.
Now study them. Study their movements, literally. Watch how they carry themselves. Watch how they interact with those around them, both professionally and in their personal lives if you are able. Do they make eye contact? Do they have a firm handshake or a weak one? Study the types of clothes they wear. If they’re wearing a suit, does it fit well?
Take notes on all of these things. Actually write them down on paper so that you have a physical reference to look at.
Next, talk to them. Explain to them that you are trying to become better at being a man and a leader of men. If they take the time to talk to you, take the time to listen to them intently and take notes. They will respect this I promise you. If they do not take the time to speak to you, then you have your answer on whether or not you want to try and emulate them. Ask them how they got to where they are. Ask them what they would do differently if they had to do it again (this will give you ENOURMOUS insight).
Now ask them if they would be willing to mentor you.
Are you already in a leadership role? Be open to constructive criticism. A man that cannot admit his faults is no man at all. However, be ready and willing to make a decision and stick to it, even if it isn’t popular. Followers don’t want to follow a wishy washy leader and will soon ensure you are not a leader any more.
So now that you’ve studied these men and spoken to the ones that you are able, pick qualities about them that you like. “Hey I really like the way Jim handled that situation at work. I’m going to try it that way now.” Be ready and prepared to succeed, but understand you’re going to fail every now and then.
Are your current friends leaders? Whether that be at home or work. If your answer is no, then I hate to say but you need new friends. Successful men don’t generally hang out with unsuccessful men. It’s bad for the image, and you have nothing to learn from them.
In short: men who are leaders of men, are first and foremost followers of men. You want to be a good leader? Be a good follower.
