Sep 2, 2015
The days are ticking away and I want nothing more than for time to slow down, To never get to the day after tomorrow.
(l.e.c.)
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
The days are ticking away and I want nothing more than for time to slow down, To never get to the day after tomorrow.
(l.e.c.)
She was a creature incapable of understanding the oceans predictability. while still changing a little every day, the tide will still come in and go out.
(l.e.c.)
i remember once when i was six years old i woke up in the middle of the night sobbing within seconds my mother's maternal instincts kicked in and she was barging through my bedroom door to lay beside me on my bed to comfort her baby girl. i spent years wondering why this had only happened that one time. why, whenever i needed my mother there to hold me screaming in to the darkness hoping she'd hear me she never came. i wondered where she was every time i held a blade to my wrist and watched as the blood rolled down my arms with misty eyes. i never understood how she let her baby girl feel dead inside her body and how she could never notice the ghost roaming around the house. i couldn't ever imagine how a mother ever lost the instinct of feeling her baby's pain, how does that ever fade away?
your daughters been dead for years and you still haven't noticed // (l.e.c.)
and goddamn i should have stopped you i should have asked you to stay i should have stopped wishing on falling stars hoping you could read my mind and come knocking on my window just one last time i should have told you i loved you and kept on saying it instead of standing still in silence i should have told you how i felt.
"you're the one who left." "you're the one who let me walk away." // (l.e.c.)
his skin was like satin beneath my finger tips, and his eyes were the deepest brown i've ever seen. his smile leaves me speechless when it stretches across his face. his voice, oh god his voice, melted me down into rivers and flooded my mind with his words and i swoon and sway in his presence and each time he catches me in his arms, and boy, i swear i've fallen in love.
adfghjkl; #002? // (l.e.c.)
thank you for being my first "real" kiss. thank you for pulling me in your arms in the pouring rain amongst all our friends and forcing me to kiss you. thank you for sleeping with (even though we were what 13?) another girl and breaking my heart. thank you for hanging out with me when i was bored and no one else wanted to be with me. thank you for telling the entire school that you "hit it" and i was bad at kissing. thank you for begging me to get back with you while i went on a 3 day trip. thank you for cheating on me during my 3 day trip. thank you for always having my back (and beating up that asshole for me). thank you for being the first boy to tell me i was worth something more than just a physical relationship. thank you for not forcing me to do anything that i did not want to. thank you for *trying* to teach me to ride a skateboard. thank you for falling in love with my best friend at the time. thank you for getting me detention by slapping my ass. thank you for telling me you loved me. thank you for asking me to stop cutting myself and punching walls. thank you for letting me punch you and bite you when i was mad. thank you for being the best and the worst boyfriend at the same time. thank you for being my friend after all these years.
letter to the first boy i kissed // (l.e.c.)
it hurt, jesus christ, it hurt more than i ever imagined that it would, saying goodbye to you but, fuck, i don't even know you and you don't know me. we've been in love with a fantasy for years and have only come to realize it far too late. because what i have, i would never do anything to lose, even if that means giving up you, someone that i called my best friend, someone who knows my deepest darkest secrets, my dreams, my fears. someone who knew me without ever really knowing me and i'm sorry i brought you through hell and back and then dropped you into the fucking ocean leaving you there to be torn to pieces by the see but i promise i loved you, i did, i do, i love you but just not enough, and not in the way you think you love me. you once said you could never hate me i wonder if that's changed now. and i understand if in your dreams you shudder at my face or if you flinch every time you think you hear my name or when you hear that girl at the coffee shop that sounds just like me. i'm sorry i fixed your heart so many years ago just to crush it in the palm of my hands but believe me when i say i am not the one who got away and someday you'll find the girl who will really mend your tortured heart and she'll love you unconditionally. i wish you the best in life, i hope you make it far, and i'll still pray for your health and happiness, and love. I hope your deepest desires come true. goodbye, old friend. all we have left are memories, scattered amongst the stars. we were never really in love hun but, if we were, that'd be goddamn tragic.
so long // (l.e.c.)
there's no way you truly love me you don't even know who i really am you've been infatuated in who you think i am. where do we go from here?
fragment #??6 // (l.e.c.)