☆ insecure ☆
lee!cartman / lers!stan, kyle, kenny ࣭ ⭑๋ ࣭ ⭑ wordcount : 2212
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The four boys sat around the lunch table, their conversation punctuated by laughter as they shared stories about the day.
Cartman was in unusually high spirits, having just shared a particularly funny prank he pulled on principal Victoria, which his friends obviously didn’t find that humorous due to its mean nature.
Cartman’s loud, snorting laugh echoed off the cafeteria walls as he spoke in between giggles.
“She was so fucking pissed off, guys, seriously. What bitch, right?-”
Kyle and Stan exchanged the same annoyed look. Kyle, who was always more outspoken about Cartman’s annoyances, groaned and rubbed his temples to soothe his headache.
“Oh my god, shut the fuck up, Cartman. Your laugh is the ugliest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Cartman’s laughter cut off abruptly, the sound replaced by an awkward silence. He blinked, the smile frozen on his face for a moment before it vanished after looking at Stan and Kenny who were nodding their heads in agreement.
“Are you serious?” Cartman barked defensively as he abruptly stood up, “you all sound like little girls when you laugh! Screw you guys, I’m done with my lunch anyways.” He huffed as he picked up his 3 empty lunch trays and tossed them in the trash, purposefully avoiding the recycling bin where the trays were supposed to go.
The rest of the boys just looked at each other, the tension quickly dispersing as soon as Cartman left.
“Good riddance.” Stan grumbled, earning chuckles from Kenny and Kyle.
Meanwhile, Cartman was now sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, waiting for the period to end. He never thought he’d be so eager to leave lunch.
The longer he stewed over Kyle’s words, the angrier he became. He didn’t understand why he was so affected by the insult since he’d been called every name under the sun, and he prided himself on never feeling insecure because of it.
His laugh was just a part of him. He hadn’t even considered that it might be something people hated.
He thought back to the times his friends had laughed with him… Had they been laughing at him instead?
For the first time in his life, Cartman felt a twinge of self doubt.
Days passed and he became almost sedated as he moped around. He was quieter, less boisterous, but most of all, he didn’t laugh.
Even when he was amused by something, he’d press his lips tightly together to restrain a snort and even refused to smile.
At first nobody noticed or cared, since Cartman went through these phases all the time, but after a month the absence of his usual unapologetic cackle was louder than the laugh.
“Is it just me, or is Cartman being… weird?” Stan asked as they walked to the bus stop, finally voicing what they were all thinking and didn’t want to say.
“He’s always weird,” Kyle muttered, though he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. “He’s just going through another one of his episodes, he’ll be over it in another week.”
Stan didn’t seem convinced or comforted by Kyle’s words. He knew Cartman was an asshole, but he was still their friend… his mother always said ‘you’re only as happy as your saddest friend’.
“I have a feeling it’s our fault though.” Stan mumbled, kicking a rock as they approached the bus stop.
Kenny was already there waiting and he waved at them cheerfully before noticing their demeanor. “Whaff gofin onth?” He asked through his hood.
“Have you noticed that Cartman hasn’t been laughing?” Stan asked Kenny, who promptly nodded. Stan was relieved he wasn’t the only one who was concerned.
“Do you think it’s because we made fun of his laugh?”
Kyle looked caught off guard by Stan’s words, unable to believe that Cartman could be affected by anything they had to say.
“Isn’t it a good thing? We finally got him to shut up… why mess with that?”
Stan and Kenny shared a concerned look, torn between their two friends. Finally, Stan sighed.
“Come on, Kyle. We all know you miss having him around too.”
Kyle blushed and quickly denied it. “What?! I could care less if he laughs!”
“...saying that you ‘could care less’ implies that you do care at least a little bit.” Stan poked Kyle’s side with a teasing smile, hoping to lighten the mood.
Kyle let out an undignified squawk mixed with a giggle, “S-StAHaahan! You smartass.” He slapped Stan’s fingers away.
Stan gasped, “That’s it!” He wriggles a finger into Kyle’s rib once more before finally letting the redhead catch his breath. “If he won’t laugh, we’ll just have to make him laugh and prove that it’s not as bad as he thinks.”
Kyle panted and glared at his best friend through teary eyes. “I thought you’d know by now that you can’t make Cartman do anything he doesn’t wanna do.”
That was pretty much basic knowledge, and the boys couldn’t help but agree with Kyle on that note. Still, Stan’s conscience wouldn’t rest until the fatass laughed again.
“When has that stopped us from trying?” Stan probed, trying to light a fire under Kyle’s belly.
Whenever he was able to get Kyle’s heart set on something, his super best friend would follow him to the ends of the Earth, even if it meant cheering up Cartman.
Kyle shifted his weight from foot to foot and bit the inside of his cheek, symbolizing his reluctance.
He desperately wanted to see Cartman miserable, but his friends were important to him. And they, for whatever reason, saw something in Cartman.
“...Fine. But only for you.”
Cartman was supposed to be at Kyle’s house for a group project, but he’d made an excuse not to go, claiming he was violently ill and throwing up.
While he assumed his friends were hard at work, Cartman was at home shoveling mass amounts of rocky road ice cream into his mouth.
When the door rang, he groaned. “Myeeemmm, someones at the door!”
“Coming!” Liane said in a sing-songy voice as she brushed past her son, giving him a small pat to which the boy smacked her hand away. “Oh, boys! What a lovely surprise.”
“Hi, Ms. Cartman. Can we talk to Eric?” Kyle asked respectfully.
He didn’t exactly like Cartman’s mom, since he believed she was the reason why he was the way he was, but he also understood she got dealt a bad hand in life.
Liane smiled and stepped aside for them to come in. “I really hope you can cheer up my little poopsikins. He’s been so blue lately.”
They all cringed and looked at each other, all sharing the same look of guilt. They were led into the living room to see Cartman laying there in a pile of snacks.
“Too sick to study, huh? How’s your tummy feeling?” Kyle said sarcastically, startling Cartman.
He turned down the TV and turned to look at his 3 friends standing in the doorway.
“... What the hell do you want?” Cartman grumbled.
“We want you to stop moping around like a sensitive crybaby.” Stan exclaimed, sitting down on the couch to which Cartman quickly whined that he was messing up his stuff.
Cartman growled and kicked his blankets and wrappers off the couch. “I’m not sensitive!”
“You sure?” Kenny asked as he sat on Cartman’s other side, a smug tone in his voice that made Cartman tense up a bit.
“O…Of course I am. It’s not like I care that you said my laugh is the ugliest thing you’ve ever heard.”
Kyle, who was standing across the room with his arms across his chest, softened a little at Cartman’s obvious insecurity.
He could pretend to be tough and unaffected all he wanted to, but Cartman was clearly much more delicate than he thought he was.
“Well you seem to remember it pretty well for someone who doesn’t care.”
Cartman bit the inside of his cheek and looked away, feeling cornered by his friends as they stared at him. He usually loved attention but ever since his pride was wounded, he wasn’t as eager for recognition.
After a beat of awkward silence, Kenny decided to make the first move, lightly fluttering his fingers on Cartman’s chubby belly.
Cartman was very caught off guard by the action, and a surprised laugh escaped him that made the boys smile.
Cartman protected the side that Kenny was attacking. “Wh-what the hell, you gay assh-ahahaAHAHAH!”
Cartman’s laughter escalated as he neglected to protect his other side, which Stan had immediately followed suit in his own tickling.
“STAahahann!” He snorted and covered his mouth. “Fuck off, kill yourselves!” Cartman shrieked as he shrunk away from their fingers, falling off the couch and trying to escape.
“Grab him!” Stan exclaimed, knowing that Cartman was pretty slippery.
They followed him to the floor and managed to pin his flailing limbs which were thrashing wildly in an attempt to escape or injure his captors.
“Ey! What’s the big idea?! You trying to rape me or something?!”
Kyle growled, shoving his hands into Cartman’s now exposed armpits.
“Shut the hell up, you fat fuck. You had this coming to you.”
Cartman barked out a laugh as he wriggled like a worm on a hook. “Pft- Aahahahah! Stop, I don’t wanna laugh!”
“Well that’s too damn bad.” Stan smirked, poking at Cartman’s thighs which caused the bigger boy to scream bloody murder. “We felt like assholes for making you all insecure.”
Cartman’s cheeks began to feel warm at the realization that his friends were doing this just to hear him laugh, even if it was loud and somewhat ugly.
As he looked up at them through teary eyes, he noticed them smiling too, almost in fondness. Still, he wasn’t about to let them get away with it.
“G-Gahahaha, STOP IT ALREADY!” Cartman cackled, pounding his fists into the carpet of his living room floor.
“Hm… We’ll consider it if you forgive us.” Stan gave the other two ticklers a look, to which they both nodded in agreement.
“Fuck no!”
Kenny fluttered his fuzzy gloved fingers over Cartman’s neck which caused a stream of snorty giggles to escape him. “Awwhh…heth sounds like a pihggie!”
“Yeah. Looks like one too.” Kyle commented as he watched his friend thrash and squeal.
Cartman couldn’t speak through his laughter, and they knew damn well how dramatic he could be, and they’d never hear the end of it if they pushed him too far… so all 6 hands withdrew from his body for him to catch his breath.
Cartman laid sprawled on the carpet, red-faced and panting like a winded dog. His cheeks were flushed, hair a mess.
He glared daggers up at the trio hovering above him, still catching their own breath and grinning like they’d just won a prize fight.
“You guys are such assholes,” Cartman growled between gasps, wiping at his eyes as if to hide the tears of laughter that still clung to his lashes.
“Yeah, well,” Stan shrugged, “at least we don’t smell like bean dip.”
Cartman groaned and flopped back dramatically onto the carpet, his arms sprawled out in surrender. “I hate all of you.”
“No you don’t,” Kenny said cheerfully, plopping onto Cartman’s stomach like a beanbag.
The boy huffed and smacked at Kenny’s back in protest, but it was half-hearted at best.
“You missed us.” Stan knelt beside them, nudging Cartman’s side gently with his elbow.
Cartman turned his head away, cheeks puffed. “I didn’t miss you, I missed the ice cream that you bastards interrupted.”
Kyle, who had been suspiciously quiet during the aftermath, crossed his arms and glanced away, trying to appear unaffected. “For the record, I still think your laugh is annoying.”
Cartman rolled his eyes. “Yeah? Well for the record, I think your hair looks like a mop.”
Kyle’s eyes widened as he stepped forward, mouth agape. “You son of a—”
“BUT,” Cartman interrupted, smirking up at him now, “I guess I can forgive you guys. Eventually. Maybe.”
Stan snorted. “You guess? You’re lucky we even bothered cheering your mopey ass up in the first place.”
“You know what, screw you—”
“We’re gonna tickle you again if you don’t shut up,” Kyle warned with a dangerous smile, wriggling his fingers ominously.
Cartman shrieked and curled up instinctively. “OKAY, OKAY! Truce! Fucking truce!”
The boys laughed, collapsing in various positions around Cartman on the living room floor. For a while, no one spoke. Just the soft hum of the TV in the background and the sound of their breathing as they relaxed into the chaotic peace they’d grown up with.
After a long pause, Cartman muttered, “You know… I still think my laugh is kinda dumb.”
Stan looked over. “Dude. Everyone’s laugh is dumb. That’s what makes it funny.”
Kenny nodded. “I thound like a dying walruth when I laugh too hard.”
Kyle smirked. “And I sound like a goose getting choked.”
“…You really do,” Cartman muttered.
“See?” Stan said, nudging him. “We all sound ridiculous. Who cares?”
Cartman was quiet for a second. Then, slowly, his lips twitched into a reluctant smile. “You guys are gay.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s gay to care about your friends,” Kyle corrected before relaxing back onto the carpet. “But you’re stuck with us, fatass. Just like we’re stuck with you.”
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a/n: yeesh this one was bad... but it was rotting in my WIP file for literal months, so i hope someone appreciates it
goodbye earthlings! ๋࣭ ⭑⚝🛸๋࣭ ⭑⚝
