Anders: I've tried to forget about this side of myself. Justice is... so strong. Sometimes the Wardens seem insignificant. But seeing that poor bastard brings it all back. The Darkspawn taint. The call of the archdemon. It's inside me, as much a part of me as Justice.
Hawke: Never bothered me before.
Anders: You should find someone else, love. You don't want all the ugliness I'm going to bring into your life.
Hawke: Not a chance.
It's the way that red!Hawke is Continuously across the entire game with a romanced Anders so very direct and assured in the fact that they just aren't going to give up on him no matter what worries he might have about himself. He thinks they deserve more or better and every time the answer is the same, that he's exactly who they want to be with and they're not asking him to be more or to be less of the problem he perceives himself to be. Very "you're stuck with me for better or worse" energy and I live for it.
Templar Carver cracks me up. Man is working for Cullen "mages cannot be our friends" Rutherford and Meredith "I protect you mages from your curse and your own stupidity" Stannard and when Merrill starts stressing about being caught he hits her with the softest most sincere,
"Don't you worry. It wasn't - and won't - be me. Have your fun :)"
HAVE YOUR FUN. Like she's knitting tea cozies in her free time?? Baby that's blood magic you are a TEMPLAR Carver you're so fucking funny. The man that you are
Happy Friday! ❝ i know i can’t protect you from everything, but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control. ❞ would be cute for Hawke and Anders, if the mood takes you. or indeed any ship you feel fits better.
Happy Friday! Have a @dadrunkwriting fill that doesn't use the words so much as the viiiiiiiiibes featuring both the Madman of Kirkwall and @dismalzelenka's Journey Hawke!
The Vimmarks sucked. Too much sand, too much heat, and too much creeping dread. If it was just his own, Anders could ignore it, but even Justice was uneasy here. Something pressed at the edge of their mind, whispering and tugging at it the same way that darkspawn did, but this felt... purposeful, even surgical, in its prodding.
The walk to the abandoned fortress was uncharacteristically quiet. It had been weeks, but no one had mentioned Anders' failure to come to the Hawke Estate that night. Fenris still stared at Hawke with a yearning that made Anders' heart ache in solidarity even as it proved Justice was right. Whatever was between them was theirs, and he wouldn't, couldn't, and shouldn't get involved.
The Madman if Kirkwall stopped and sniffed the air. Clive Barker whined and pawed at the dirt by his feet. "You sure this is the place Varric tracked those cornbreaded earfarts to?"
Anders frowned. "You're the one with the map, right?"
In answer, Garrett tugged it out and unrolled it. He squinted up at the sun, then down at Clive, then handed the map to Fenris.
"Something wrong?" Fenris asked.
"Place feels..." Garrett shrugged. "Ain't gonna make sense no matter how I say it. It feels like it's waiting for me. Like something's here, and I been lookin' for it, only I don't know what it is. Clive thinks so too."
The mabari whined a worried affirmative. It was not reassuring. Garrett Hawke had the magical talent of a rain drop in a desert, and tumbled through life with chaotic glee, but that dog had a good head on his shoulders.
Before Anders could try to investigate further, Fenris hissed quietly, a sign for them to shut up, and pointed. A lone figure was climbing a nearby cliff, throwing herself up with short bursts of force magic, then pausing to reactivate the spell. A lone Warden. How do I know that's a woman? The Warden part was obvious: her tabard was in rough shape, but the grey and blue were distinctive enough without any griffin wings. Nothing about her gear was feminine at all, but somehow Anders (and Justice, for that matter) knew she was a she.
"Tell me that ain't real." Garrett's voice was muffled. Anders darted a curious glance over: his thumb was between his teeth. "Anders, tell me there's not a fucking Warden hanging from that mountain. Tell me I ate some weird plant, or that's a demon or a darkspawn or anything but that."
It was incredibly tempting to debate the semantics of what constituted a mountain, but he'd never heard Garrett terrified before. Anders shook his head. "She's real. You know her?"
He yanked his thumb away and spat blood on the stones. "Better not," he growled.
"Perhaps," Fenris started, "We should move on. Before we find out."
"Nah." Garrett crouched down. "If ain't her, and I'm killing it for wearing her fucking face. If it is…" he spat another stream of blood. "We'll burn that boat and all the others once we're on it."
Anders quirked an eyebrow at Fenris. You know her? he mouthed. Fenris bit his lip, unsheathed his sword, and leaned against a large boulder next to the path. Clive Barker whined and sat between them, staring at the Warden as she heaved herself over the final edge and laid there. Something made a low growling noise, though Anders couldn’t tell if it was Clive or Garrett, as she pushed herself up to her knees, then her feet, stretched, and began to stroll across a rope bridge toward them with predatory nonchalance.
The minute her feet touched solid ground again, Clive charged forward. Anders winced and averted his eyes. There would be no healing whichever one was thrown to the canyon floor, and didn't want to watch it happen. But, instead of a scream or a yelp fading to a crunch, all he heard was a whump of impact and a groan of annoyance. He looked up in surprise while Hawke stood and put away his blades. The woman wasn't dead, and Clive had her pinned to the ground as he licked her face and wagged his tail.
"Get - ew - Clive, fuck off!" she shouted.
I know that voice. "J - Ayesleigh?" Anders stammered.
Garrett whirled around, dagger out again inches from Anders' nose, expression twisted into cold fury. "Her name is Journey and you're going to tell me how the fuck do you know her after I stuff your kidneys in your balls."
Anders opened his mouth to ask what in the Maker's name he was talking about, but before he could, two things happened at once. Ayesleigh pushed Clive away and snapped, "Gary, down," as memories flooded his mind; not his, but Justice’s.
"Ayesleigh's not my name," she sighs and drinks deeply from the bottle of brandy. "It's a… a wish. A dead wish for a dead dream with a dead brother."
Justice puts a steadying hand on her shoulder to ensure she does not fall off the ramparts. "A wish for what?"
"Gary and I were going to run away to Ayesleigh. Together," she answered glumly. "Away from our parents. Let them have their happy little family without their fucked up first tries. But Malcolm Fucking Hawke had to die and leave us holding the pieces. Then I left too. For answers, but I still left." Ayesleigh touched the cord around her throat. "When I got back, the army had been routed and Lothering was gone. Wardens found me digging through the rubble of our house. I left Journey Hawke in the ashes and Joined up as Jay Ayesleigh."
More came after that, but it was lost in the sea of Justice's apologies. I was oathsworn to tell no one. Not a soul, she said. I could not speak of it, or it would corrupt us beyond recognition. Anders barely heard it over the alarm bell claxon in his head: I slept with the Madman of Kirkwall's sister. I slept with her and I left her.
In the span of the few heartbeats it took for Anders' epiphany and subsequent horror, Garrett dropped the blade and reeled back, almost drunkenly. His thumb was in his mouth again and his shoulders slumped as he mumbled, "Sorry, Juni."
Ayesl - Jay - Journey scooped the blade up from the ground and juggled it in her hand with all the deceptive grace that had caught Anders' attention and affection years ago. Clive trotted in her wake, panting happily. "Nice blade. Lyrium core?"
"Learned some shit since you… " Garrett reached for her, then froze, arms hanging awkwardly mid-air. "Juni, why didn't you look for us?"
She smiled sadly and tugged a necklace out from under her shirt, then over her head. A tiny wooden medallion hung from it, carved in the worst likeness of a mabari. Anders teased her about it once back in Vigil's Keep, and he hadn’t been able to smell anything but lightning for three days. Journey lowered the mabari into Garrett's palm. "I did, Gary. This was all that was left. Found it in what was left of the hearth. Thought you and Ma and the twins were dead until those Carta jack-offs showed up in Amaranthine spouting off about the blood of the Hawke. Father's not —" she took a deep breath. "I couldn't protect you then. From anything. I can now." Then she finally looked up at Anders with those eyes that always made his heart skip a beat. "Both of you. Even if you did leave."
"Jay, it wasn't planned!" Anders protested, though it was only half-true. "Rolan tried to kill me — kill us! I'm the apostate that got away, and the Chantry was just going to keep sending people in to finish the job. And after they did me, they were gonna do Velanna, and you, and probably the Commander himself. If I ran, they'd look for me, not you."
His outburst echoed against the rocks.
Me not you
Not you
You
Garrett turned to face him again. The cold fury was frigid now, like a razorblade made of ice and sharp enough to cut a man's throat faster than he could blink. "Juni, did he hurt you?"
Jay laughed bitterly. "Shit, I wish he had. It'd be easier, right? Easier to hate that than… whatever Father did. Easier to just walk away. But it's Warden business now," she spat.
It was like they were speaking a different language, one loaded with triple meanings and sordid history. Anders wrapped his staff on the ground politely. "Hate to interupt, but what Warden business could possibly be out here with a group of raving lunatic dwarves?"
"You don't even — Maker's Balls, I got here just in time." She pulled a series of vials from her knapsack and started handing them out. "This, I can control. To save all our asses and Thedas from what's down there."
I completely get why Hawke is like that. If my father sounded like Malcolm, I would also never take another authority figure seriously. No one's gonna be more intimidating than a parent who sounds like THAT
This line hits kind of different when you know that the Chantry eventually gains knowledge about the cure to Tranquility and then deliberately tries to cover it up. Makes you think about what else they might be hiding.
Coming to your lovely ears this coming Tuesday, June 24th, is Part 2 of our Dragon Age 2 discussion! Miranda and Jess talk all about Acts 2 and 3 as well as the DLC. There DEFINITELY wasn't a 25-minute argument about Anders that had to be cut to 10 minutes..... 😅🤣 Hold onto your butts, everyone, because you'll NEVER guess how Jess's playthrough ended! We can't wait for you all to get to enjoy this episode!
I’m playing the Legacy dlc for DA2 at the moment and I just gotta say… it was such a missed opportunity that they didn’t have Anders wear his old Grey Warden armor if you take him along.
Am I just thirsty for Anders in that outfit? Maybe. But I still stand by the point regardless!
