(A little something for @lemonlovely, as a thanks for reading through my Harringrove Exhange fic before I posted it. This is a poem that is heavily inspired by their story Words Left Unsaid, chapter 7, where Billy is taken to Joyce's house when 'a good talking-to' with his dad leaves him in a bad shape.)
While it goes on, time slows to a crawl;
He never fights back when he’s pressed to the wall
Afterwards – restlessness under his skin
Readying him for a fight he can win
He spits, and he snarls, and he’s baring his teeth
To cover the terror that’s hiding beneath
He needs to take time to gather his wits
To heal from the words – from the kicks and the hits
This time, the ‘talking-to’ got out of hand
He’s tired – exhausted; can barely stand
Agreeing to go here was such a mistake
If anyone touches him now, he will break
This house; it’s the one he swore not to return to
A woman is here, she’s not one he would turn to
Not someone he trusts and not someone he knows
Being brought here was not something he chose
Here, on the threshold – weak and in pain
He feels as if he is a young boy again
Squirming, not wishing to be such a bother
Avoiding the gaze of another boy’s mother
This woman is worrisome; she sees right through him
Her gaze is enough, he is sure, to undo him
Her eyes are so dark, and they swallow him whole
They burn through his skin, through his bones, to his soul
Her hands on his arm in a mom’s tender touch
He flinches away; it’s too gentle, too much
The next thing he knows, and before he can think
He’s willingly putting his head in the sink
He gives up, for now – lets her fuss, lets her care
He closes his eyes as she washes his hair
He’s falling, and waiting to see where he lands
Until then he’s pliant, like clay in her hands
It’s easy to look down and not meet her eyes
So she cannot see through his mind, through his lies
The water is red, and then pink, and then clear
The blood washes off – but never the fear
It ends up with her holding needle and thread
And carefully stitching the cut on his head
He wishes he was anywhere but in here
He wishes, he wishes he could disappear
