Feb 5, 2017
What I’ve been doing the past few days ❤
Fanart by: Me (Macaroni 希林) ig: @macaronilen
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What I’ve been doing the past few days ❤
Fanart by: Me (Macaroni 希林) ig: @macaronilen
Play nice, boys!
As soon as I saw this photo (which I got from my fb feed, damn thanks fb friends), I just felt the urge to redraw it as Len and Oliver haha! All for the Leniver love <3 <3
Fanart by: Me (Macaroni 希林) ; ig: macaronilen
The Girlfriend
((WARNING! Triggers: emotional abuse and mention of suicide. This fic takes place when Oliver and Len first met, but Len was still dating his girlfriend, Neru.))
"Baaaabbbeee" Neru whined.
Len paused his game and sighed, "What?" Neru sat on his lap, "We never go out anymore, I want to do something fun!" Seeing him lower his gaze she cupped his face, "What's wrong, Lenny?" Len swallowed, "I don't know. I just... I just feel depressed lately. I'm sorry..." She hugged him, "Oh sweetheart, don't worry, we'll get over this, you and me, okay? I love you." Without waiting for a response she kissed him. Ugh, kissing’s kind of gross. It's wet and slimy and you taste weird chemicals from lipgloss. The movies lied, there are no fireworks. I don't feel anything when I kiss her. "Len?!" Rin called, "Oh, there you two lovebirds are~" Rin was really happy when Neru and I got together. They were friends and when Rin found out Neru had a crush on me. So she set us up and the rest is history. Now we've been together for a month, but... I don't really love her. She obviously cares for me and we spend a lot of time together, but I just feel empty and alone. "Come on you two, the new vocaloid will be showing up any minute!" Rin squealed. "Eee, come on Len, let's go!!" Neru forcibly grabbed my hand and dragged me down the stairs. Neru and Rin chatted while Len stared off into space imagining what the new vocaloid would be like. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long- the doorbell rang. Rin shoved Miku out of the way and opened the door, "Hi ya!!" "Ah, hello, um... Rin?" Oliver stated. Oh god, I hope I got her name right! "Kya, you remembered!!" she exclaimed wrapping her arms around the British boy. Miku pulled her off, "Hey, I'm suppose to welcome the new vocaloid because I'm number one, bitch!" Rin got into a karate stance, "Come at me, brah!" What the bloody Hell...? Take me back to England! These Japanese vocaloids be crazy! Oliver thought. Len sighed stepping between the two, "Can we not do this today? Especially in front of the new guy?" Oliver smiled at his savior. Thank the Queen, I'm saved!! Is that who I think he is? That's got to be Len, Rin's twin, right? He's just as attractive as his pictures, but... He looks tired. Is he okay? "Lennn, you're suppose to support your older sister!!" Rin whined. Len rolled his eyes at his sister, "I'm sorry, they're crazy. Just ignore them, they're both attention whores, but they'll calm down soon.”
Rin and Miku stomped away complaining to each other about how mean Len was.
Len finally focused on Oliver, “I'm Len, what's your name?"
Whoa... He's cute! Just look at him! ...That was a weird thought. Go to sleep brain. Oliver chuckled awkwardly and extended his hand, "Thanks for saving me! I remembered you! I'm Oliver. It's nice to meet you." Len shook it and smiled, "Ooo how foreign~ I hope we can be friends!" Oliver couldn't help but smile back, "Me too!" Neru cut between the two, "Lennn, introduce me!!!" Len flinched, "Sorry... Oliver, this is Neru." Neru stomped on his foot, "Len!!" "Ow! ...Ah, she's my girlfriend." He quickly added with a hiss. Oliver frowned, "I see..." Did she just stomp on his foot?! What a fucking bitch! He seems so nice, why would he be dating her?
She looked Oliver up and down, “Aww, you’re so cute! Len, why can’t you be as cute as him?”
Len look down with shame, “I-I’m sorry, Neru…”
She clicked her tongue, “Maybe if you played less video games and put a little more effort into yourself, you’d be less depressed too!”
“Neru...” Len begged. You’re embarrassing me. Please stop. Please…
“Hey, I like video games too!” Oliver exclaimed, “And I don’t know what your girlfriend is talking about, Len. I think you look great!”
Len blushed and he smiled, “Thank you!”
Neru huffed and grabbed Len’s hand, “Let’s go up to your room, Len.”
Len resisted, “But I-”
“Len!” she growled, her eyes shooting a warning.
“H-hey if he doesn’t want to go with you-!” Oliver started.
“This isn’t any of your business!” she snapped, “This is between me and my boyfriend.”
Len winced at the title. I don’t want to be her boyfriend anymore. I feel so trapped. How do I get free?
Len forced a smile, “D-don’t worry about me, Oliver. Neru’s just… passionate. I-I love her very much.”
Neru’s eyes lit up, “Babe!!”
She quickly mashed their lips together pointedly claiming him in front of Oliver.
She shot a smirk at Oliver, “See ya later~”
Oliver watched Neru drag Len off with disgust. I think… I think I just witnessed domestic abuse. Poor Len. I know he said he was fine, but he looked like he wanted to cry. I know I don’t know you very well, but I hope you’ll be okay.
…..
Neru: Be good while I’m gone, k? I wuv you! <333
Len: Promise. ily2
Len sighed a breath of relief. Thank god girls love shopping together. Now I can finally play some video games!
“Len?” Oliver walked in.
“Oliver, hi!” Len beamed.
Oliver plopped down next to Len, but suddenly tensed up and started looking around, “Is she-?”
“On a shopping trip, thank goodness!” Len practically danced.
Neru: Miss me?
Len ignored her text, “So… you like video games?”
Oliver grinned, “Oh yeah~ I’m a real pro!”
“Well, then I’m sure you’ve heard of me, the King of Mario Kart!” Len pointed to himself dramatically.
“Ooo, you are soooo on, nerd!” he exclaimed picking up a wii controler.
Neru: Do you think I should get this pink lipgloss or this rose lipgloss?
Len turned his phone off.
……
“Noooo…!” Len shouted at the screen.
Oliver laughed evilly, “Nyhehe! Eat that red shell, Len!”
Len’s jaw dropped, “Y-you beat me at rainbow road!”
Oliver grinned confidently, leaning back with his hands behind his head, “Who’s the King now~?”
Damn, I thought before he was cute, but… he’s hot. And he’s nice and cool and… Oh god… these are really weird thoughts! You have a girlfriend, Len! Even if you don’t like her you can’t just… especially a guy. He’s a guy!
Len shook his head to clear his away his thoughts, “That was a total fluke! If you hadn’t had that red shell, I would have won for sure.”
He teased, “But you didn’t~”
Len dramatically slammed his fist on the coffee table, “I demand a rematch!”
“Sure thing! I could keep up with you all day, noob~!” he stuck his tongue out.
“LEN FUCKING KAGAMINE!!!” Neru roared, causing both boys to jump.
She grabbed Len’s phone and shoved it in his face, “What the fuck is this?! Did you fucking turn your phone off?!”
“Neru I-!” Len started.
Neru sobbed, “Do you know how worried I was? Len you know about my anxiety! I love you so much- how could you do this to me?!”
Len hugged her and stroked her hair, “I… I know. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.”
Oliver awkwardly rubbed his neck, “Um… I’ll see you later, Len?”
Len watched as Oliver left. Wait… I didn’t want you to go.
“Don’t you still love me, Len?” Neru asked meekly.
Len lied, “Yeah…”
She pulled away to look Len in the face, “If you love me, then prove it. Have sex with me.”
Len shook his head, “Neru… no.”
Neru teared up again, “But baby-”
Len pushed her off of him, “Stop! I… We’ve talked about this before. I don’t want to have sex! Why can’t you just respect me?!”
Neru nodded, “You’re right, baby. I’m sorry. I just wanted to try and make you happy. You just seem distant lately. I want to help…”
Len brought his knees to his chest, “I know… I just… I think… I think I want to break up.”
Neru cupped his face, “Baby, you don’t mean that…”
Len started crying, “...I’m not happy. Please, let me go.”
Neru whispered, “Len… If you leave me. I’ll kill myself.”
Len shook his head, “Neru… No…”
“I love you so much, Len. I can’t exist without you.”
……..
“Len...are you okay?” Oliver whispered at the breakfast table.
“I’m fine… just not hungry.” Len pushed the plate of food away without taking a single bite.
Oliver examined his dark circles, “You look tired…”
“Didn’t sleep well last night. Don’t worry about me, okay?” he forced a smile.
Oliver nodded, “Okay, Len.” I know it’s none of my business, I barely know him, but look at him… he look’s like a zombie. Apparently he’s not sleeping or eating now? That doesn’t sound good at all. Am I really the only one noticing this?
“Hey, Lenny~” Neru kissed Len’s cheek. I feel like I’m going to throw up…
“I… I don’t feel good. I’m going to go back to bed.” Len announced.
“Don’t worry, Lenny! I’m sure Neru will be a great nurse.” Rin flashed him a smile.
Len nodded, “I’m sure… Just… let me sleep for a bit, okay?”
“Your wish is my command, dearest~” Neru cooed. Yeah right.
…..
Oliver knocked on his door, “Len?”
Len trembled. Oh god, I bet it’s Neru. I don’t want to see her. I can’t do this anymore.
“Yeah?” he softly answered back, hoping she wouldn’t hear his reply.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to check up on you.” Oliver answered as he shut the door behind him.
Len smiled and tried to sit up, “Oliver!”
He immediately fell back down and clutched his head, “Ahh… I feel so dizzy.”
Oliver grabbed his hand, “Hey, are you okay?”
Looking up at Oliver with worry in his eye made Len choke up, “No… No, I’m not.”
“I… I know we haven’t know each other long Len, but you can talk to me, okay? I’m really worried about you…” he squeezed Len’s hand.
Len started sobbing, “L-last night I tried to break up with Neru, b-but she said if I did that she… she would kill herself.”
Oliver gasped, “Oh! Oh Len! I think… I think you’ve been trapped in a abusive relationship for a while now, but we’re going to get you out, okay? Everything’s going to be okay now.”
Len shook his head, “No it’s not! This isn’t the first time… She’s not bluffing, Oliver. She’s hurt herself before. I don’t want her to die, but… but… I’m so unhappy! She’s always yelling at me and crying and she’s driven all my friends away and I’m so alone… I can’t do this anymore!”
“Don’t worry, Len. It’s all going to be okay now. I know just what to do, okay? Don’t cry. You’re okay. You’re okay…” Oliver comforted him as he continued to cry.
……
Rin teared up, “Len, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-!”
Len hugged her, “It’s okay. How… How’s she doing, by the way?”
Rin explained, “Well she’s in the hospital now, as you know. It looks like they’re keeping a really close eye on her and they started her on some meds and therapy. She already seems a lot better.”
Len nodded, “That’s good.”
Rin hugged Oliver, “I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you. You saved my brother and my friend. Thank you so much!”
“Ah… I’m just glad Len’s okay now.” his eyes drifted to Len.
Len beamed, “I’m better than okay! I’m free! I can do anything I want now! And um Oliver…?”
“Yes, Len?” Oliver asked.
Len blushed, “I’d really like to get to know you better.”
Oliver smiled brightly, “Me too, Len!”
The Confession
((So this is a flashback of how the boys actually got together! I hope you all enjoy this angsty, cheesy tale! ^-^))
Len paced around his room biting his finger. Oh man, I really really like Oliver. I mean… at first I became interested in him because, well, he’s really the only guy my age that I found attractive… But this isn’t just attraction anymore! I just… I like hanging out with him and the faces he makes when I tease him. I like the way that even when he gets mad and yells at me there’s still no hint of true meanness. And I really like watching him interact with James when he thinks no one is looking. He’d never admit it, but he’s full of love and kindness. I want him to feel special. I want to give him all my love. Yeah… I love him. I’m in love with Oliver.
Len sat down on his bed and clutched his banana shaped pillow. Ah, there’s no way he’d ever like another guy, right? But I love him so much… How will I ever get him to fall for me?
….
“Here you go, James.” Oliver smiled sweetly as he filled the bird dish with food. James chirped with glee as he started his midday feast. Oliver chuckled to himself as he was reminded of the encounter James and Len had earlier today over a banana. He rolled his eyes even though he definitely wore a grin. Len… He’s such a dork. All we really do is tease each other and mess around, but he’s probably the closest thing I have to a best friend. Even though we’ve been hanging out more than ever I have a weird feeling that there’s some kind of distance between us.
Oliver sat on his bed and frowned. Maybe I went too far with one of my comments and hurt his feelings? I don’t know. I’m not sure what to do in a situation like this. But… Len and I are friends, right? I think so… All I know, is I don’t like this. I want him to really smile at me again. Like he used to. He has a nice smile…
Oliver shook the dreamy grin off of his face. Whoa, that was… weird. L-let’s just try and fix the problem with Len, okay? Ah, should I go talk to him or wait for him to come to me?
Len took a deep breath. I have to do this. I need to face Oliver. I just… I can’t hide my feelings any longer.
Len knocked on the door, “O-oliver? You in there?”
Oliver opened the door examining Len’s face closely, “Hey, Len… What’s up?”
Len looked away cursing the blush he felt on his cheeks, “Um, are you hungry? There’s this new vegetarian restaurant that opened up so I thought um… maybe… we could go?”
Oliver leaned against the doorway eyeing Len suspiciously, “You want to go to a vegetarian restaurant? Mr. eats-meat-every-meal?”
Len rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he came up with an excuse, “Well… you um… inspired me to cut down on my meat intake? Y-yeah, I thought going to this restaurant could show me my options and stuff! And I mean obviously you’re a vegetarian so… wanna go with me?”
Oliver pursed his lips in thought. I don’t buy it. Something’s… off. Guess I won’t figure it out if I don’t go. Plus, vegetarian food! <3
“Umm… is it going to be just the two of us?” Oliver asked.
Len sweated. Oh crap, is he catching on that I’m basically asking him on a date?! Ah, I mean of course he’s so smart, he’s definitely seen right through me! And I mean I’m pretty gay. Even though I haven’t told him he could have figured it out. Especially because of the way I look at him… Oh god.
Realizing he needed to say something Len replied, “Yeah?”
Oliver nodded, “Great.”
Len blushed at his response, feeling like he was walking on air.
“Awesome!” Len exclaimed feeling like a giddy school girl.
Oliver asked Len seriously, “...Are you on drugs?”
Len laugh nervously and rubbed his stomach, “No, I’m just uh low blood sugar’s all! Let’s go eat!”
He pivoted and started walking away. Oliver followed behind his eyes tracing Len’s form. What the Hell’s wrong with him?
……
“May I take your order?” the waiter asked us.
Len made eye contact with him, “Uh, actually can we have a minute?”
The waiter smiled, “Take your time, honey. And if you have any questions let me know, mmkay?”
Oliver furrowed his eyebrows. Am I just being paranoid or is the waiter flirting with Len?! I’m not homophobic or anything, but I just… I don’t like it. I came here to figure out what’s wrong with Len and enjoy a meal, not to watch some random guy flirt with him!!
Len glanced over at Oliver wincing at his clearly irritated expression, “I’m sorry I’m taking so long to decide, Oliver… There’s just a lot of stuff on here I’m not familiar with.”
Oliver’s expression softened, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s fine! I was actually thinking about what you’d like. I think you should try the barbeque tofu. It’s kind of like meat, but you know... not. Plus there’s no vegetables, I know you’re not very fond of those… Honestly, sometimes I can’t believe you’re not 5.”
Len blushed shamefully at Oliver’s comment, “Ahh… Thank you, Oliver.”
“I’m sorry, Len. I’m just in a bad mood I guess… I um, have a headache?” he lied.
Len’s eyes widened in worry, “Oh would you like me to run to the pharmacy across the street and grab you some Ibuprofen?”
Wow, that’s a really sweet offer from him. I guess shouldn’t have lied… Oliver shook his head quickly, “Oh no! I think the caffeine from my drink will be good enough! Really don't worry about me.”
“If you're sure…”Len replied.
The boys looked away from each other and awkwardly sipped on their refreshments.
“Are we ready to order?” the waiter came up and asked with a smile.
Oliver inwardly sneered. I like how he says “we”, but he’s clearly making googly eyes at Len. This is soooo unprofessional…
“Um, I’d like the b-bar… bar…” Len stumbled over the foreign word.
The waiter leaned over Len’s shoulder, “Just point to it, honey.”
“He wants the fucking barbeque tofu!” Oliver growled.
The waiter blushed, “Ohh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you two… Um, what would you like to order?”
Oliver’s jaw dropped, “Umm? We’re not a couple if that’s what you insinuating?”
He tilted his head to the side, “So you’re not gay?”
Oliver blushed, “O-of course not!”
“Why do you care if I flirt with him then? You act like you're his boyfriend.” the waiter spat.
Oliver scoffed, “Excuse me we came to eat? And by the way it’s rude to assume someone’s sexuality?? I would think someone like you would know that.”
“Well if you have a problem with “someone like me”, you're sure as Hell going to have a problem with him!” the waiter pointed at Len.
“Len’s not-” Oliver stopped mid-sentence as I glance over at Len, his eyes filled with tears.
He stood up avoiding eye contact with Oliver, “E-excuse me…”
Len ran out of the restaurant allowing his tears to flow. I’m so stupid. I’m so so stupid. Did you see the way he reacted when the waiter asked if he was gay? He was so angry. And now he knows that I’m gay! Forget love… There’s no way Oliver will even stay friends with me now. Maybe I should just come back later and get that guy’s info. Maybe he could distract me from my broken heart?
“Len?!!” Oliver yelled. I’m such an arse. The way a lot of that came out was really nasty… Len must think I hate him. Is he really gay? I never ever would have guessed. I guess I don’t really think about it? Ugh, whatever’s going on this must be the reason he’s been acting weird. I can’t believe I made him cry… Len, I’m so sorry.
Oliver caught up to Len and grabbed his wrist, “Len I-”
Len tried to twist out of his grip, “Let go of me, Oliver! You made your feelings perfectly clear!”
Oliver flinched but refused to let up on his hold, “This is all a big misunderstanding, I promise! Can we just talk?”
Len wiped his face on his sleeve, “Yeah…”
We sat down on the opposite sides of the nearest bench.
After a minute of silence Oliver slowly asked, “So… you’re gay?”
Len wouldn’t look at him, “Yeah.”
“Len…” Oliver reached over and placed a friendly hand on Len’s knee.
Len’s eyes widened and he turned towards Oliver, “I-I thought you hated me.”
Oliver shook his head, “Len, I honestly don’t care about you being gay. I promise. I was just upset that that waiter was blatantly flirting with you. I thought it was rude…”
Len’s eyes searched Oliver’s, “Y-yeah?”
“I do have one question…” Oliver admitted, “I know she was awful but... didn’t you have a girlfriend?”
Len winced, “Yeah, but that was before I figured out that no, I’m into boys. Just boys.”
Oliver swallowed and blushed a little, “And there’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing at all… You know we’re friends and I would never judge you for that, right? We’re all good now, right?”
Len closed his eyes and shook his head, “Oliver… there’s more.”
Oliver chuckled nervously, “W-what? Did you kill someone or something??”
Len bit his lip. Fuck it. I know he’ll never like me the way I like him. Can I just pretend for a moment?
He leaned in and brushed his lips against Oliver’s.
Oliver quickly pulled away holding his hand up to his mouth, “L-len?!”
Len stared into his eye, “Oliver… I love you.”
Oliver scooted further away from me shaking his head, “No… Len… Stop…”
Len choked up, “I’m in love with you Oliver. I… I just couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.”
It was Oliver’s turn to tear up, “So you kissed me? Why…. why didn’t you just tell me? You stole my first kiss!! That was suppose to be with a girl I loved, Len!”
Len trembled, “I know you’ll never love me. I’m sorry, Oliver, I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I love you…”
Oliver stood up, “Stop saying that! How dare you claim to love me when clearly you don’t even respect me.”
“I’m sorry, Oliver. I wasn’t thinking straight…” Len sincerely apologized.
Oliver snorted, “Obviously you weren’t thinking straight!”
Oliver winced at the hurt on Len’s face, “I’m sorry, Len. I’m just upset. I realize you're sorry, but I need time to get over this. I hope… I hope eventually we can be friends again.”
Len reached out to Oliver, tears streaming down his face, “O-oliver…”
Oliver sobbed and backed away from him, “I’m sorry, Len. I can’t. I can’t.”
With that he ran back home.
Len balled his eyes out. What have I done?
Oliver leaned against his closed door. Oh my god… He… He kissed me.
He reached up and touched his lips. He stole my first kiss. Len, how could you? I was saving that for a special girl because I’m straight… I’m straight… I’m straight...
The next morning both boys laid in their beds.
Len sighed. I hope Oliver’s okay… I’m so stupid. Life sucks.
Oliver turned over and blushed. I can’t believe Len has an actual crush on me. Looking back it does explain a lot… but still. Len, a boy, likes me! I mean, how did this happen? Why me…? I mean, I’m not gay or anything, but Len’s obviously hot. I mean like really fit!! He could totally do better than a loser like me. I mean that waiter yesterday was practically drooling over him.
Oliver could feel the steam come out of his ears as he thought about that flirty waiter. “You act like you’re his boyfriend.” That’s what he said to me. That’s not true though, right? No way… I mean, I guess I do nag him a bit and we do spend a lot of time together, but one key element is missing! I’m. Not. Gay. I was just upset that that stupid guy was blatantly flirting with my friend! It was rude! But, I guess maybe that wasn’t my place. He’s right, if I’m not his boyfriend why would I care if Len did flirt with another guy. Isn’t that what I want? Him to like someone else?
Oliver thought of Len dating a guy and frowned. I guess, I just don’t like the idea. I’m not a homophobe though. I’m sure of it! I support and know lots of gay couples so why? If I’m not gay, obviously I like girls, so why? Could I be jealous? N-not in a romantic way or anything, but maybe because he’d be spending less time with me as a friend?
Oliver nodded to himself. Yeah, I guess I was jealous afterall. I… I really like Len, as a friend. He’s always kept me company and made me smile and laugh. We had some really good times. I guess, all those moments we spent together meant a lot to him. They meant a lot to me too, but I… I don’t love him… I… Wow, this is actually kind of hard. He means so much to me and he really does make me happy. But do I love him? And what does that mean if I do?
Oliver’s thoughts shifted to Len. I wonder how he’s doing. Probably beating himself up about yesterday. I mean, I really really didn’t like him kissing me like that, but I don’t want him to be depressed over it. Even though he shouldn’t have done that, I probably did overreact a bit. It was just a peck. And according to Len he… he loves me. That moment probably meant a lot to him and I made it really ugly.
Oliver covered his head with a pillow, “Uuuuggggghhhh!!!”
This is all so confusing. Damn, you Len Kagamine! I mean… am I really questioning my sexuality here? Does that mean that I am gay or something? Straight guys wouldn’t be laying in bed thinking about their best friend down the hall. But then again, most straight guys probably don’t get kissed by their gay friends.
Oliver breathed. Okay, okay. Let’s examine the facts here. I like girls. There is no question about that. B-but boys? I don’t know… I mean, I guess I can tell if guys are attractive, but does that mean I’m attracted to them? I definitely think Len’s attractive… But could I kiss him and more?
Oliver swallowed. The kiss… I… I don’t know how I feel about that. It was my first kiss ever and it was really quick, but I don’t think I hated it? And my heart was pounding, but that could have just been from shock. D-did kissing him actually turn me on?
Imagine kissing him. For real. Our lips coming together and saliva mixing as our tongues fight for dominance. And he would trail kisses down my neck while he squeezes my ass. And then he would… he would…
Oliver mewled as the fantasy took over and he clearly had a hard on. His mind turned over dozens of hot, sweaty, gay scenarios with Len Kagamine and with a little help from his right hand he came.
Oliver panted. Well, you sure can masturbate to having gay sex. So um… checkmark next to liking boys? ...Is it really that simple? Oh my god, am I… bisexual?
Oliver started shaking. I think. I think I might actually be bisexual. I like guys. Holy shit… And if that’s right, if I am really bi and Len’s gay… we overlap. We could- we could actually date. I could date my friend Len- a boy.
Oliver started laughing. This. Is. Insane. No way. No way! I… I’m straight. I… No, that just doesn’t sound right anymore. I’m bi. I’m definitely bi. But how? How could I have lived my entire life up until now and not know who I really am? Did society brainwash me or did I deceive myself?
Oliver laughter turned into sobs. I’m bi. I’m gay. I like boys. I could have gone my whole life thinking I was straight. I can be with a boy or a girl… Oh my gosh, I have so many options!! And I have one big one staring me in the face. Len. He’s my friend, he loves me, I’m sure he wants to date me. I know I’m bi now, but… do I feel the same for him?
Oliver blushed. Well, I certainly know I’m physically attracted to him. But what else? I… I like how happy he is. He’s always smiling and joking and making the world brighter. And even though he can be a little childish he’s actually very caring and sweet. Even when I’m not with him, somehow I’ll always be reminded of him and I enjoy that. Could I have actually had a crush on him and not had known it? Well, apparently I was bi this whole time and didn’t know it so… but crushes are special. Shouldn’t I have noticed my heart beating fast or something.
Oliver closed his eye and placed a hand over his heart. I guess when your heart beats fast around someone you like it’s because you're nervous ‘cause you know you like them, right? I don’t feel nervous around Len. I just feel really happy and warm when he’s around. I thought that feeling came from companionship, but perhaps it came from love? I wonder if my heart would beat fast now that I know I have a crush on Len. I have a crush on Len? Maybe… maybe I do. And if that’s true, my crush likes me back. He loves me. He kissed me.
Oliver pursed his lips. Even though I think I might like him, I still don’t like that he kissed me without permission… Can I forgive him for that breach of privacy and respect? “I know you’ll never love me.” My heart hurts thinking about that. That’s what he said after he kissed me. Imagine being in love with someone for a long time and thinking they would never ever love you. And it’s not even because of a regular reason, simply gender. I mean, gender matters, but it must still hurt to think about. Like if you were the exact same person but with the opposite gender they could actually like you. Romance is messed up. Gender really doesn’t matter to me, but if the roles were reversed… if I was a girl… Len wouldn’t like me. But Len can’t help that. That’s the way he was born. Just like I was born to like boys and girls. And Len and I were both born boys. Our sexual orientations overlap. We like each other. Everything seems to be leading up to the same conclusion. That maybe I should give Len a chance. Maybe I should date Len.
Oliver squeezed a pillow to his chest. Stuff like going on dates… Am I ready for that? I am only 12. And Len is 2 years older than me. So we’d go out and do stuff just the two of us… Would that be fun? I mean we did just do that yesterday, but that wasn’t exactly the best experience. The stupid waiter got on my nerves though and Len was acting really weird… Oh. Oh! Len and I went to a restaurant just the two of us. That was… that was a date! I went on a date with Len!! Sorta? I didn’t know it was a date… but that was probably why he was so nervous yesterday! Maybe… maybe he was planning to confess the whole time?
Oliver’s heart sped up. I know he shouldn’t have kissed me… but if I knew then what I know now… I think I would have wanted him to kiss me. Yeah, I… I really think so. I think I actually, really like Len. I like Len!! I want to see him!
Oliver jumped out of bed and rushed to get ready. Ahh, I definitely have to brush my teeth and do my hair… And what should I wear?!
After having a mini-crisis, Oliver was finally ready. Okay, I’m going to go find Len, now. Ahh!
Oliver’s stomach did somersaults as he found his way to Len’s bedroom. Might as well start by checking here.
Oliver knocked on the door. No response. “Len?” he called softly, finding his vocal chords unable to work properly. Still no response. He was about to continue his search around other areas of the mansion, but Len let out a choked sob affirming he was indeed in there. Len… I’m sorry I let you suffer by yourself for so long. I want to be there for you though. I want to dry your tears. I hope I’m not too late.
Len continued to sob into his pillow. It really is useless. Oliver will never want to see me again. Why did I have to kiss him? He was right I could have simply told him… I just… He’s my first real love. I knew it was never going to happen. I just wanted to pretend that for even a moment he could love me too. But it was just an ugly lie I told myself and hurt Oliver with. I’m so selfish. I never should have kissed him. I’m so sorry, Oliver. I’m so so sorry. Can we at least be friends? Please… You’re the best person I have ever met. I never want to live without you. Even if I can only admire you as a friend, I’d be okay. Please…
Oliver slowly creaked open Len’s door, “Len?”
Len quickly sat up, “O-oliver?”
The two stared at each other before Oliver voiced, “Um… can I talk to you?”
Seeing Len nod, he closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of Len’s bed.
Len started tearing up again, “Oh Oliver… I’m so sorry. I never should have touched you. I can’t imagine what it must be like having a guy force himself on you like that… It was really wrong of me. I know we can never be together. I’m so sorry. Oliver I-”
Oliver wrapped his arms around Len, “Shh... Don’t cry. It’s okay.”
“Oliver…” Len blubbered.
Oliver carefully wiped away Len’s tears and smiled, “There, that’s better.”
Len’s lip trembled, “W-why are you being so nice to me…? Do you really forgive me?”
Oliver tapped his chin exaggeratedly, “Hmm… Do I forgive you? ...Yep!”
Len stared at the boy in bewilderment, “But, Oliver… I really don’t deserve to be forgiven so easily… I did something really bad…”
Oliver flicked his forehead, “I think it’s up to me to decide whether or not I forgive you, Len. Trust me, I know you did something bad, I was kind of there. And I mean, although I didn’t appreciate you kissing me without permission, I know you’re really, really sorry so I forgive you, okay?”
Oliver looked away from Len and blushed, “Let’s try again, shall we? Ask me if you can kiss me or not.”
Len eye’s widened, “Wh-what?!”
Oliver blushed even harder and hit Len lightly, “I said ask me if you can kiss me again! I’m the victim here so just do what I say! I’m teaching you a lesson!”
“Oh, I see…” Len’s shoulder’s slumped and he asked half-heartedly, “Oliver… C-can I… can I kiss you?”
Oliver swallowed, “G-go for it.”
Len covered his face with hands, “Oliver… I know you're mad at me, but don’t be cruel. I want to try and just be friends again, b-but right now… I’m still in love with you…”
Oliver grabbed Len’s wrists and forced his hands down, “Len… I’m serious. I… want you to kiss me.”
Len shook his head, “I’m sorry if I confused you, Oliver. We both know you're straight. I don’t know if you want to experiment or something, but I just… I can’t. I know I kissed you, but I just… wanted to pretend that you loved me too. I know you don’t though so please don’t ask me to-”
“Len Kagamine you are honestly the most infuriating person I have ever met! First you kiss me, then you can’t let me forgive you and then you can’t comprehend that I like you too! It’s a good thing I do love you because this is a lot of headache!” Oliver huffed.
Len’s breath hitched, “You… love me? But that’s… that’s impossible.”
Oliver lifted his eyebrows, “Oh is it? After all the time we’ve spent together, is it really that hard to believe that somewhere along the way, I fell for you too?”
Len drew his knees to his chest, “Well, you made it pretty clear yesterday that you weren’t gay…”
Oliver sighed, “That’s because I’m not… I’m pretty sure I’m bi.”
Len looked up at Oliver, “B-but if you liked me then why would reject me yesterday?”
Oliver blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “W-well, maybe I didn’t figure out that I liked you until 10 minutes ago?”
Len made a disbelieving face.
Oliver waved his arms, “Wait! Hear me out! Look… I… I never really thought about guys that way before. Like ever. I mean I knew guys could like other guys, but it never even occurred to me that I could like guys too! I’ve known forever that I liked girls, so I just assumed I was straight. I didn’t realize that the admiration I’ve always had for other guys is actually attraction. Probably because I didn’t want to accept myself, you know? It was just easier to just be straight and leave it at that. But now I know that I like guys and girls! I’m sure of it! I’m here and I’m queer!”
Len nodded, not looking at Oliver directly but listening closely, “That still doesn’t explain why you think you like me.”
“Hey look at me.” Oliver poked Len in the cheek.
Their eyes met and Oliver exclaimed, “I definitely like you, okay? I feel really really bad that it took me so long to figure it out and you’ve been suffering all by yourself. It really breaks my heart. I know it probably seems unbelievable that I like you after everything we went through yesterday… but it is true. I like you, Len. I think I might even love you. I know I didn’t even know I liked guys, but it was still there right? I think subconsciously I gravitated towards you because I just loved who you were. Do you know how many vocaloids there are living in this damn house?! And out of all of them the one I wanted to see everyday was you. I thought it was just because I liked you as a friend, but you’ve always meant more than that to me. You make life so much more colorful and brighter and I want to continue spending my days with you. I want to go on dates and hold your hand and kiss you and wipe your tears away and maybe… someday… make love and um… Ahh, it’s a lot harder to talk to you now that I know that I like you.”
Oliver wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm and held his arm out, “L-look, I’m shaking, I’m so nervous! A-and sweaty… Sorry, that’s gross I shouldn’t have said anything-!”
“Mmmm!” Oliver was silenced by a kiss from Len.
He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. Wow kissing is really weird, but it feels amazing!!
Len pulled away blushing like a bride, “Am I dreaming…?”
Oliver pinched his arm and Len yelled, “Ow!!!”
“Looks like you're awake~!” Oliver teased sticking his tongue out.
Len whined, “Ollie, you’re a mean boyfriend!”
Oliver blushed but continued to joke, “H-hey now! I only kissed you, I never said I’d be your boyfriend!”
Len wrapped his arms around Oliver, “Nope! You’re mine now, I’ll never let you go!”
“Oh no, I’m trapped! How did you know bear hugs were my only weakness?!” Oliver feigned.
“Luck?” Len replied sheepishly.
Oliver shook his head, “Wow, personality, talent, looks, brains and luck? I never stood a chance!”
Len nuzzled Oliver’s chest, “This is literally the best day of my life.”
Oliver smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, “Duh, you’re dating me now! You’re welcome~!”
Len pulled away to take in Oliver’s face, “I promise, that from this day forth I will do my absolute best to be the best boyfriend ever and make you the happiest guy alive.”
Oliver blushed, “Wow, you really are serious, huh? Guess it’s my turn to make a cheesy vow… Um… I will try my best to not be the suckiest boyfriend ever?”
“That’s fine. I obviously have low standards since I fell for you.” he teased.
Oliver shook his head, “I’m not sure if that was a bigger insult to you or me… I’ll count it as another win for me then! Nyhehe!”
Len rolled his eyes with a grin, “How did I fall for you again?”
Oliver shrugged, “I literally have no idea. But liked you said, it’s too late now! You’re all mine~”
Oliver tentatively leaned in for a kiss which Len happily reciprocated.
They rested their foreheads against each other as they caught their breath.
“Len… You’re my boyfriend…!” Oliver whispered excitedly.
Len rubbed his nose against Oliver’s, “And you’re mine.”
“Ahh, Len you’re so lame!” Oliver blushed.
Len smiled and laced his hands with Oliver, “I love you, Ollie~”
“I love you too, Len. No waiters can have you!” Oliver declared.
“Never.” Len agreed with a smile as he went in for another kiss.
RP: Player!Oliver and Shy!Len
((Okay, so I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I decided that I want to be able to post roleplay oneshots and flashbacks/moments with the boys in fic form. I think that’ll just work out nicer, but I’ll keep all Tumblr asks and reacts in script form, does that sound good? Okay! ^-^))
“Hey, Ollie?” Len asks with a blatant blush.
Oliver tilts his head, “What is it, baby?”
Len whines, “I want to try roleplaying!”
“Wow, how gay are you?” Oliver smirks.
Len scoffs, but before he can say anything Oliver grabs his hand.
“I was just kidding, love! Honestly, it sounds like fun. But um… what do you want to roleplay?” he asks.
Len closes his eyes and immediately shouts, “Player!Oliver!!!!”
Oliver smiles smugly, “Fantasy of yours~?”
“Yeah, because if you were a smooth guy you would give me so many compliments and flirt with me!!” Len exclaimed with heart eyes.
Oliver rolled his eyes, “The lengths you’ll go to fish for compliments, I swear. Well, if I’m a player, I want you to be shy! For once maybe you’ll be quiet, haha.”
Len huffs, “Fine! I will be the most kawaii shy guy ever! But since this is roleplaying you have to go with whatever happens just like improv, okay?”
Oliver nods, “Sounds good… But just in case maybe we should have a safe word?”
Len taps his chin, “Oh right… Um… Bananas?”
Oliver shakes his head, “You think you can really go a whole rp session without mentioning bananas?”
“You’re right...What about um… Code Blue?” Len asks.
Oliver cocks an eyebrow, “That’s oddly specific.”
Len explains, “Remember in Undertale how Sans explains the blue attack by saying it’s like a stop sign, but blue? That’s what I was thinking of.”
Oliver snorted, “Wow Len, you’re such a fucking nerd sometimes, haha! I love you!”
Oliver kisses his cheek, “Well, I guess I better go get changed to sell the part. I might have to raid your closet though since you have a bunch of douchebag clothes.”
“Heyyy!! Ah, I’ll go get dressed too!”
Outfits-
Len: red glasses, longsleeve shirt and sweater vest, tie
Oliver: baseball cap backwards, tank top hoodie, baggy shorts, golden chain, black fingerless gloves
RP START
Len walked to the wall pretending it was his locker, “Ahh, I th-think this is it!”
Before he can “open” his locker, a hand is pressed up against the wall.
“Hey, cutie~ You must be new here because I definitely would have remembered you~” Oliver winks.
Len pushes up his glasses and nods, “Th-that’s right... “
Oliver smiled, “I knew it! My name’s Oliver, by the way. I would love to know yours~”
Len looked at the floor, “I-it’s Kagamine. Kagamine Len…”
“Damn, what an adorable name! It totally fits you~!” Oliver flirted running his hand down Len’s arm.
Len’s eyes widened and he backed up into the wall, “Ahh, e-etto, d-do you think you could show me around? S-since I’m new and all…”
Oliver bowed and offered his arm, “At your service, m’lady~”
Len blushed, biting his lip, “Y-you’re not one of THOSE kinds of guys… are you?”
Oliver smirked, “Why? Would that make you uncomfortable~?”
Len tapped his pointer fingers together, “B-but two guys…”
Oliver cupped Len’s chin, “Guy, girl it doesn’t matter. They all fall for my charms eventually. You better look out Len Kagamine, because I’ve set my sights on you.”
Oliver added using his best Gaston voice, “The lucky girl I’m going to marry!”
Len burst out laughing mumbling “I love you” before clearing his throat and getting back in character.
Len closed his eyes, “Ahhh, e-etto, I better get to class now!”
With that he nose dived into their bed, the “classroom”.
Oliver sits down next to Len, “Not only are we in the same class, but it seems like we’re sitting next to each other. It seems we connected by the red string of fate, hmm~?”
Len covered his face with his hands, “Wh-what am I going to do?”
Oliver laid his head in Len’s lap making him squeal.
“God you’re adorable~ I think you should just accept that we’re meant to be!!” he exclaimed confidently.
Len legitimately blushed, “I’m sure you tell all your other… ‘conquests’ that.”
“But baaabbbeee, you’re different! I swear!” Oliver whined.
Len pursed his lips, “I-I’m sure you tell them that too…”
Oliver sat back up and grabbed Len’s hands, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
Len shook his head, “B-but we just met today. There’s n-no way you really like me… You just want to use me then lose me…”
Oliver rubbed the back of his neck, “How can I explain this… With other people it was all a game. I didn’t care about them and they didn’t care about me. They’d use me to feel special and I’d use them… But with you it’s different. I can genuinely tell you don’t want anything from me. So if you liked me it means you’d actually like me for me…”
Len’s eyes widened, “O-ohhh... “
Oliver continued, “And I like you… I mean really like you. I noticed you because of your looks and stuff but I really like your personality! I know we just met, but you’re really sweet. I know I can come on a little strong, but you were really nice to me even though I could tell you were uncomfortable. And I just feel a connection with you! When I look into your eyes, everything feels more real… You’ve awakened my heart. I… I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Len’s eyes became half-lidded as he touched his heart, “Ollie… I mean! Um… W-wow, that’s quite a confession.”
Oliver leaned closer raising his eyebrows, “Well…?”
Len tentatively put his hand on Oliver’s cheek, “I… I think I like you too. I’ve n-never done anything like this before. I’m not sure what to do… M-maybe you are just a player who’s going to break my heart. But if anyone breaks my heart, I-I want it to be you…”
Oliver pressed his forehead against Len’s, “I won’t, baby. I promise. This is real.”
“C-can we…?” Len breathed.
Oliver pulled on Len’s tie causing their lips to collide.
“Mmmm~” Len moaned into the kiss.
Oliver pushed Len down onto the bed.
Len cocked an eyebrow whispering, “So the desks magically became a bed?”
“That’s the power of Love, baby!” Oliver winked.
Len rolled his eyes chuckling at his abnormally cheesy boyfriend.
Oliver nibbled on Len’s ear, “Roleplaying was a good idea, love. Super sexy~”
“Mmm, sexy’s right…” Len purred dragging his hand down his lover’s chest.
Oliver grinned going in for another kiss, “Len… I can’t believe this is your first experience with kissing. You’re a real natural~”
Len bit his lip realizing they were resuming roleplaying, “Ah, well I’m doing the best I can to keep up with someone s-so… experienced.”
Oliver trailed kisses across Len’s jaw and neck, “It’s true. There’s much I could show you~”
Len squeezed his arms tight around Oliver, “W-well… show me.”
Oliver sat up and took his shirt off, “As you wish~”
who tops in this relationship? Just curious :)
Oliver: *glares* I’ll fight you.
Len: *rubs Oliver’s back* Don’t get so upset, love. Let’s spread understanding instead, shall we?
Oliver: *pats his cheek* You’re such a good person… Anyway, hi questioner. I understand you’re asking an innocent question and don’t mean anything by it, but it does upset me… You see when people assign labels to gay couples like “top and bottom” or “dom and sub” we know what the question really is… “Who’s the guy and who’s the girl?”
Len: *nods* You see, the whole point in dating the same sex is that there is no guy and girl. I don’t understand why people don’t get this… But um, the fact is I think even with straight couples the point is to be equal. And that goes with our sexual relationship as well.
Oliver: Yeah, I mean it is true that some couples prefer certain roles over the other, but it is often not 100%. Len and I both give each other affection emotionally, physically and sexually. So like Len said it’s basically equal. Even if I was the bottom or top more often I still wouldn’t want to identify with such a term because I find it a little degrading to be honest… I mean, people don’t go around asking hetero couples who’s the “top” and who’s the “bottom”, right?
Len: Yeah, I really don’t understand why it’s okay to go around asking gay couples that stuff when it would be rude to do so to a hetero couple… But it’s really okay that you asked, we’re not mad at you or anything! It’s good to talk about stuff like this when it comes up and hopefully people will be able to understand stuff better from our perspectives.
Oliver: Mhmm. Basically, there’s no top or bottom, no dom or sub, no “guy” and “girl”. We’re just two guys who happen to be a couple! We’re just Len and Oliver!
Len: Couldn’t have put it better myself, love.
((Hey, so I am in a queer relationship and questions like “who’s the top and who’s the bottom?” or “who’s the guy and who’s the girl?” I find to be personally a little rude. First of all it isn’t really anyone’s business, second of all these labels just feel like people are trying to put our relationships in hetero terms. That just doesn’t work. The whole point of a homo relationship is that it is between two people of the same sex and what people choose to do in the bedroom shouldn’t make them assigned to a stereotype? Sorry, just my own little mini gay rant within my fictional mini gay rant. I’ll leave now… >.>))
What's a typical morning in your household?
*beep* *beep* *beep*
Len: *shuts off alarm clock* Ugh, it’s 7:00am already? *gently shakes Oliver* Baby, it’s time to wake up now.
Oliver: *turns over* Mmmghhh…
Len: *sighs and gets up to brush teeth and jump into the shower*
7:15am
Len: *moderately shakes Oliver* Sweetie, you really need to get up now, we have to leave by 8:00, okay?
Oliver: *pulls pillow over his head* 5 more minutes…
Len: *shakes head and goes to get dressed and do his hair*
7:30am
Len: *pulls covers off Oliver* I’m going to go down and make breakfast. You need to get that cute butt of yours in the shower right now, mister!
Oliver: *groans* But Lenny…
Len: I swear that I’ll undress you and bathe you myself! *starts pulling off Oliver’s pants*
Oliver: *jumps up out of bed* Okay, okay I’m going!
Len: *slaps that ass* Much better~
Oliver: *runs to the bathroom and slams the door*
Len: *skips downstairs to prepare breakfast*
7:45am
Oliver: Baabbbeee? What’s for breakfast?
Len: Banana pancakes~
Oliver: *sits down and sighs* Really, again?
Len: *places food in front of Oliver while whispering in his ear* Don’t like it? Then you can make your own fucking breakfast in the morning, bitch.
Oliver: *sweats* Len, breakfast looks great as always!!
Len: *kicks a leg up in the air* I know~!
Oliver: *grumbles* And people think I’m the yandere…
Len: *sits down across from Oliver with his own breakfast* What were you saying my lovely boyfriend that I literally dragged out of bed this morning and then made breakfast for?
Oliver: *blushes* Umm… That I’m an ass, but I love you?
Len: I love you too, sweetie. It’s okay, you know I’m all about that ass~ *winks*
Oliver: *shoves a bite of pancake in his mouth* You’re really going to start that this early in the morning?
Len: The love machine is always ready to go~
Oliver: Well, I would hope so since it’s already 8:00am.
Len: *inhales pancake* Okay, ready!!
Oliver: Did you even taste the food??
Len: *grabs Oliver* No time for questions, love, we gotta go!
Oliver: *gasps* Oh shit, I forgot deodorant!
Len: *sighs* I’ll go start the car… *grumbles* Every damn day…
((Sorry, guys I know it’s been a bit. I’m not abandoning again, just had a little writer’s block is all. Love you guys!))
Good morning from the sweet couple ♡
Fanart by: Me (Macaroni 希林) ; ig: macaronilen