Summary: Odysseus tells Telemachus of the most dangerous monster there is.
“…and that solidified the fact that this creature was a siren. As you know, I have no daughter.”
Telemachus listened intently to his father as he told about his encounter with a siren. Oh, how Telemachus longed for adventures much like the ones Odysseus spoke of.
There was a lot that the King didn’t tell his son. And as far as Telemachus knew, he didn’t tell his wife much either. They didn’t pry. What he told them, he told them. What he didn’t, he didn’t. But when he did share stories, they were usually less intense. Not like Telemachus was complaining; he loved hearing any and all stories from his father.
Currently, they were sitting on Telemachus’ bed. The Prince was sitting cross-legged, listening to Odysseus, who had his legs hanging off the side of the bed.
“What did you do then?” Telemachus asked. He was well aware he resembled an eager puppy, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Well, I played along. I read its lips and led it on until it revealed the safest route,” Odysseus continued.
“What was the route?”
Odysseus’ face darkened, and Telemachus knew he’d pressed too far. “…The Lair of Scylla.”
Telemachus’ eyes widened. Scylla. He’d only heard tales, horrifying ones at that. Curiosity nearly made him burst. He wanted so badly to know what had happened, how his father had escaped the monster. What had she looked like? Had there been casualties? Stupid question, of course there had been. No one escaped Scylla unscathed.
But instead, he changed the subject. “Did it ever suspect that you knew it wasn’t Mother?”
The darkness seemed to fade in his father’s eyes. “No, thankfully. If it had, I wouldn’t have survived.”
Telemachus smiled. “Are there any other monsters you can tell me about?”
“Hm…” He thought for a moment before a—michevious?—smile appeared on his face. “Well, there is one… but I don’t know if you’re ready to hear about it.”
Telemachus straightened. “What? Of course I am!”
“I don’t know.” His smile widened. “This one was treacherous. It can bring even the strongest of men to their knees.”
“Even you?”
“Oh, I wasn’t unfortunate enough to encounter this one, my son. At least, not for a long while.”
“What do you mean?” Telemachus asked, scooting forward a bit.
Odysseus chuckled. “You see, I haven’t come across this beast since I was a child.”
“A child?” The Prince asked. “And you survived?”
“I did. Now, are you sure you can handle it? Because I’ve heard that even saying its name can summon it,” Odysseus explained.
Telemachus’ eyes widened slightly. “It can?”
“It can,” Odysseus confirmed.
“Tell me about it. I can handle it, I promise.”
“…Fine. This monster, the one that terrorized me and many others as children is none other than,” he paused for effect, laughing when he saw Telemachus’ jokingly-frustrated face. Finally, he continued, “the tickle monster.”
With that, he pounced on his son. It happened so fast, that Telemachus couldn’t even fight back. He was pinned down to the bed by one of his father’s arms (only one!) while the other one set to work on Telemachus’ sides. The boy began giggling up a storm, trying to squirm but inevitably only being able to move his hips, which did nothing to stop the tickle attack.
“I told you saying its name summons it!” Odysseus said with mock seriousness, as though Telemachus had just been attacked by a real monster.
“Fahahahahatheheheheheher!” Telemachus said, his attempts to push Odysseus away proving futile. His fingers danced all up and down the Prince’s torso, covering as much ground as possible.
“Hm… The tickle monster can sense that this isn’t your worst spot, is it?” Odysseus grinned. He stopped momentarily and grabbed his son’s shoulders, flipping him over so he was laying on his stomach. He immediately straddled Telemachus as he used his own legs to pin the Prince’s down.
He formed his hands into claws and started making them hop down the back of Telemachus’ thighs. Telemachus was trying to twist and squirm, but there wasn’t much he could do with his father practically sitting on him.
“No no no no, Father, don’t!” He said through giggles, his voice squeaky with panic. He knew exactly what Odysseus was planning.
“Odysseus isn’t here right now, I am the tickle monster!” His words were so cheesy that Telemachus would’ve cringed if he weren’t so focused on Odysseus’ hands.
“Yohohohohohou’re sohohohohoho weheheheheheheird!” He giggled.
“That’s a lot of talk for someone so ticklish.”
Telemachus opened his mouth to reply, but a squeal replaced them when Odysseus’ fingers began to mercilessly scratch at the sensitive skin under Telemachus’ kneecaps. He switched from squeezing and scratching, making the boy’s face turn red from laughter.
“Tell me, son—I mean, my newest victim,” Odysseus said over his son’s laughter, “why are bees’ hands so sticky?”
Oh, Gods, no.
Ever since Odysseus had returned to Ithaca, he had been telling the worst dad jokes ever. Maybe it was a way to make up for not being there—a way of trying to bond. But they were terrible.
Without giving Telemachus time to respond, he continued the joke. “Because they use honeycombs!”
Telemachus would’ve groaned if he wasn’t laughing so hard. “YOHOHOHOHOU’RE TEHEHEHEHEHEHEHERRIHIHIHIHIHIBLE!” He laughed, his words muffled from how he was burying his face into his bed.
“Am I? Because you seem to be laughing pretty hard. I must be funny.”
Telemachus wanted to say that, no, he was not funny at all, but it was much easier to just continue laughing.
“Really funny, huh? Hey, do you know what a tickle monster’s favorite food is?” Odysseus asked. He turned back to look at Telemachus, who caught only a glimpse of his father’s grinning face before he buried his face back into the mattress.
“WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT?” Telemachus questioned, deciding to play along.
Unfortunately, that was a mistake.
“Raspberries,” Odysseus answered before leaning down and blowing raspberries on Telemachus’ knees. His knees! What kind of person blows raspberries on someone’s knees?
But all in all, it still tickled a lot. Especially when Odysseus began using his stubble as well.
“FATHEEEERRRRR!” He squealed, not at all sounding like a 20-year-old man. To think, he would be the next King of Ithaca.
The torture lasted maybe thirty more seconds before the door to Telemachus’ chamber opened.
There stood Penelope, her face a mixture of confusion and amusement. “Do I want to know what’s going on?”
Thankfully, Odysseus stopped tormenting his son to focus on his wife. “I was just telling Telemachus about—”
“The tickle monster?” Penelope guessed.
Odysseus smiled. “Exactly.”
“Mother,” Telemachus wheezed, still giggling softly, “help.”
She laughed softly behind her hand. “You’re lucky Athena’s been looking for you, Telemachus.”
Telemachus’ eyes widened. Athena. Training. That was today. Oh no.
He began squirming underneath Odysseus. “Father, get off, get off, I need to go!!”
Odysseus chuckled. “Alright, alright.” He squeezed Telemachus’ right knee one last time, making him squeak, before getting off of him. Telemachus scrambled off of the bed, squeezing past his mother and running down the hall, knowing his face was still red and a smile was still on his face.
“You know,” Odysseus called down after him, “I might just tell Athena about how ticklish you are!”
Eghhhhhh i feel like my requests are bothering you but it's fun and you write so good sooooo
Lee! Odysseus
Ler! Telemachus
I've been the one responsible for the ler Argos and lee elpenor requests 🗿🗿🗿
-🥀
A/n: Hey! This took me so long and I'm so so so sorry about that. I know I also just said that I'm taking a break buuuuut I caved in. I hope you like this! If you don't, feel free to ask again and I'll write something different! Also, I LOVE seeing repeat anons, so seeing that it was you again made me beyond excited.
Lee: Odysseus, slightly Penelope and Telemachus as well!
Ler: Telemachus and Odysseus
Word Count: 1.9k ish
Warnings: Tickles and very slight swearing, if I need to add something, let me know!
☆~~~☆~~~☆
“Fahather! Thihis ihis meheahan!” Telemachus called out from under his father, who was squeezing his ribs gently. They were in the younger’s bedroom, and neither could quite remember what got them in this predicament.
Odysseus gasped in mock offense. “How dare you call me, your poor old dad, mean?” He blew a raspberry on his stomach to drive the point in.
“OHOKAHAY! DAHAHAD!”
“Are you going to apologize?” he asked in between raspberries.
Telemachus wheezed, covering his face. “YEHES!”
He let up immediately. “Okay, go on.”
The prince caught his breath before reluctantly apologizing. “Ihi’m sorry for cahalling you mean.”
“I suppose it’s fine,” he said jokingly. “Did I kill you, son?”
“Yehes you did!”
Ody rolled his eyes. “You get your dramaticness from your mother.”
“It’s not dramatic!” Telemachus defended. “I’m sure you’d act the same!”
He chuckled. “Nope!”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not ticklish, so I wouldn’t act that way at all,” he said.
“What? How can someone not be ticklish?”
There was a knock on the wall that caught their attention. “What is your father saying now?”
Odysseus raised an eyebrow at his wife. “What is that supposed to mean?” he questioned, moving to stand next to her. She shook her head in response.
“He was making fun of me for ‘being dramatic’ - he said I got that from you, by the way -” this earned a glare from Penelope and a nervous look from Odysseus, “and I said that he’d react the same way, but then he claimed he wasn’t ticklish, so I asked how someone could not be ticklish.”
Penelope erupted into laughter. Telemachus had a quizzical look on his face while Odysseus frowned.
“Okay, two things: That would be because he’s lying. He is ticklish-”
“Pen!”
She shushed him before continuing. “Also, if you get your dramaticness from anyone, it’s from your father.”
Odysseus looked at her, betrayed. “Okay, well- that’s just not true!”
Telemachus turned toward his father with a shit-eating grin. “You’re a liar!”
The king gave him a warning look, but it was ignored. Instead, he jumped at him with intent to pin him. Ody yelped, shocked at his audacity.
“Woah! Be careful, please,” Penelope face-palmed, leaning against the entryway.
The two of them wrestled for a minute, laughing along the way.
“Lying ihis grounds to be puhunished, dad!” he giggled out, trying to reach his ribs to play dirty and maybe get the upper hand.
“Ihi am your father and the Kihing of Ithahaca, you dohont punish mehe!” he cried, grabbing his wrists. Telemachus was one step ahead though, ‘cause he’d managed to squeeze his ribs. Odysseus yelped, falling onto his back. The younger quickly sat on his thighs, continuing to squeeze. He giggled at the boyish laughter it elicited.
“Not ticklish, huh?” he teased.
Ody pushed against his arms, refusing to say a word. When that didn’t work, he resorted to trying to fight back. He reached for his son’s sides, but was intercepted by Telemachus shoving a hand under his arms and drilling. He choked out a cackle and slammed his arms to his side.
“You both are so childish,” Penelope said from the side, moving to go sit down on Telemachus’ bed.
She snickered - quite rude if you ask Odysseus. “No, you got yourself into this, you can figure it out.”
“Maybe next time, you shouldn’t lie to your son!” Telemachus laughed, a goofy grin plastered on his face.
“He has a point, lying isn’t very kind, love.”
“AHARE yohoHOU sihIHIDIHIng wihith HIHIhim?” he yelled, half-heartedly trying to buck him off.
She shrugged. “Yes. I am, dear.”
He gasped, but it caught in his throat and he ended up hiccuping. Both Telemachus and Penelope cracked up at that.
“TRAHAHAITOHOR!”
She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Get his thighs.”
Odysseus turned toward her with wide eyes and she bursted out laughing.
Telemachus smirked and pivoted to sit on his stomach and face his legs. Before he could do anything, a dark chuckle came from behind him.
He looked back at his father, who had a smug smile. “What are you so smug for?”
“Never turn your back to an enemy, Telemachus.”
With that, he hugged him from behind and pulled him back, digging into his sides. Penelope sighed, sitting on the floor next to the pair. She grabbed her husband’s arms and pried them away from the youngest. He rolled off of his father immediately.
“Hey! This is an important lesson, love!” Odysseus protested as she pulled his arms above his head and pinned them there. He squirmed and lightly tugged on his arms.
“I agree, but so is teaching him how to fight back against his cruel old father. So that’s what I'm gonna do!” She joked, kissing his forehead.
Telemachus lit up, nearly bouncing on his knees. “You’ll teach me how to tickle dad?”
“No! My love, I would never do this to you!” Ody defended, fighting back a smile.
“Awe, and that’s part of why I love you so much! Besides, it’s not like you mind much, anyways!” She booped his nose.
He scrunched up his nose, blushing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t, dear,” she teased. “Telemachus, sit on his shins so he doesn’t kick you by accident.”
“Okay!” He answered eagerly, doing as instructed before Odysseus could register what she said.
The king looked at his wife with faux horror. “You’re not actually gonna-!”
She interrupted him and tousled his hair gently. “I am. Lightly spider his knees, he’ll snort.”
“Penelope!”
Their son did exactly that, making the older try to kick him off, snort, then belly laugh. “Woah!”
“And that’s where you get it from, Tel,” Penelope said flatly. They both blushed and turned away.
Odysseus groaned through his laughter, hiding his face in his shoulder.
“Okay, where else?” Telemachus asked giddily.
She pondered for a second, tapping on his arms idly. “Hips. Careful though, he’ll try to buck you off.”
“Whahahat the hehell? Thihis is cruhuel!” he complained playfully, feigning annoyance.
“You’ll survive,” Penelope taunted sweetly as Telemachus pinched his hip experimentally. He jerked and - to literally nobody’s surprise - bucked. He continued to pinch softly, and got some snickers in return.
The youngest beamed at his father before moving his attention to his mother for another spot to try.
“Just below his ribs, you’ll get cackles,” she guided, returning the smile.
Telemachus did just that, clawing where the sides meet the ribs. The king did cackle and tossed slightly from side to side.
“He looks like a fish!” he pointed out, not stopping his tickles.
“NOHO IHihi dohoHON’T!” he protested.
Penelope shook her head fondly. “If you dig right between his upper ribs, he’ll scream.”
“WHAT? NOHO IHI WOHON’T!” he objected, tugging lightly on his arms.
Telemachus shot his hands towards his upper ribs, stopping barely an inch away. Odysseus violently flinched and snorted. He then laughed like a hyena in his father’s face because of his reaction.
“I learned that from you!” he declared proudly. Ody smiled and rolled his eyes. When he opened his mouth to answer, that’s when he dug in.
He screamed - the poor, poor people in the palace, honestly - and doubled over.
“I told you he would, even if he denies it,” she winked at her son, who grinned back at her.
Odysseus shook his head frantically, fighting every urge to kick his son off.
“Okay, ready?” she asked them both. One nodded and the other glared - I bet you can figure out which is which. “This one’s my favorite.”
The king’s eyes widened at that, looking up at her and trying to plead telepathically.
“Pinch right above his knee.”
Telemachus did as he was told and nearly went flying at the kick it produced. “Holy moly! And you tried to say you aren’t ticklish?” he teased before repeating that action a couple of times.
“NohoOHO TEHEHEL!” he yelled through screaming-laughter, fighting a really hard battle to not send his son flying.
“If you scratch anywhere on his thigh, you’ll have this same reaction. But if you trace his scar he might actually send you into a wall. Ask me how I know,” that last part was said with fake bitterness as she glared at her husband lightheartedly. He only offered her a sheepish grin as compensation.
Telemachus made a mental note of that before skittering all over his thighs - specifically avoiding the scar though. He kept that up until Penelope told him to stop. He glanced up at her and she waved at him to hop off.
Instead of her letting go as well, she rolled him onto his stomach with very little resistance.
“Oh my gosh, not that!” he called out, terrified.
“We won’t kill you…probably.” She pinned his arms down again before addressing Telemachus. “Just sit next to him, trust me.”
He listened and sat on his knees near his hip. He then stared at her and waited for the next instruction.
Penelope thought for a second before speaking. “Trail one finger down his spine, he’ll squeal.”
Odysseus shoved his face into the floor.
The prince ran a finger down his spine quickly. As expected, he shrieked, hiding his face in his arm.
“You’re both cruhuel!” he groaned out, muffled by his arm.
The Queen snickered. “You’ll be fine, love.” She carded her hand through his hair and he hummed lightly. “Back of the ribs.”
Telemachus did as instructed, drilling into the backs of his ribs. Ody yelped, moving his arm as far away from his face as he was able – which was not very far –, twisting violently and cackling.
“WAHAIHIT! SHIHI-!”
“Woah! Language,” Penelope teased, putting a hand over his mouth.
He shook his head and she pulled her hand away. “IHIM SOHOHORRY!”
Their son giggled at the interaction, moving one hand to his hip and squeezing again. The King screamed and jumped.
“Wow, good job,” Penelope laughed, playing with her husband’s hair softly.
He grinned at his mother. “I can’t believe he tried to say he wasn’t ticklish.”
“I know, quite the lie, isn’t it?”
Odysseus would have protested, had he been able to speak. Unfortunately he was laughing too hard.
After a couple more seconds, he frantically tapped the floor.
“Oh, let up, hun,” Penelope warned. Telemachus immediately retracted his hands and she let go of his arms.
“Are you okay, father?” The youngest asked, worry etched on his face.
He nodded in response, taking in greedy breaths. He moved to sit up and leaned on his wife. She hugged him from behind while supporting him. He took a minute to catch his breath before pulling his son over to hug him and ruffle his hair.
“You brat,” he joked, squeezing his side once. He yelped and lightly shoved at his dad. Penelope laughed sweetly, hugging him tighter.
The King turned around once she let go and gently grabbed her. She squeaked in surprise as he pulled her closer to him. He then softly skittered at her sides. She gasped and began to giggle quietly.
“Lohove!” She called out, batting at his hand lightly.
Summary: Hermes has tickled Odysseus one too many times for his liking. Time for a little payback.
A/N; thank you to the anon who gave me this idea! If you see this I hope it’s to your liking! I’m not super proud of the ending but whatever. Also, yay, more shameless lee Hermes! Enjoooyyy :3
Cw: mild swearing, really intense tickles! (But don’t worry, he enjoys every second of it.)
Rewarding revenge
It was another day on the ship, and Odysseus was thinking.
He had just had another interaction with Hermes a few days prior, and like he usually did, Hermes had decided to tickle the shit out of him.
While he didn’t.. hate it.. it was still annoying, and he wanted a bit of revenge.
So, he sent up a hopefully non-conspicuous prayer to summon Hermes.
When Hermes got the message, simply asking to hang out, he was definitely suspicious, but also amused and endlessly curious. So, he decided to go. Might be fun, after all! And Hermes is always up for some fun.
So, later that evening, when Odysseus was spending some time in his room, Hermes appeared.
“Hey, friend! I got your little prayer!”
Odysseus was honestly a little shocked that worked. He sat up in his bed, gently patting the space next to him.
“Ah, Hermes! Come, sit!”
Hermes smiled brightly and sat next to the soldier. “Well, how do you do?”
“Ah, I’m well. You?”
“I’m good as well! I must say, it’s not often I get a request just to hang out! I’m quite delighted you wished to spend time with me!”
Odysseus chuckled a bit. “Ah, well, you’ve been nice to me, and you’re pleasant enough company.”
“I know I am, thanks for noticing!” Hermes winked, playfully posing in a showy manner.
Odysseus laughed. He had summoned Hermes for ulterior motives, but he actually was quite funny.
He scooted a little closer, hoping Hermes wouldn’t notice. Hermes did notice, but he pretended he didn’t. He was curious! Wanted to see where this was going.
“So, what did you want to talk about, friend?” Hermes asked, still grinning.
“Ah, nothing in particular. Just whatever comes to mind.”
“I see, just a causal chat! Always love one of those- I’m quite the conversationalist!”
The joking remark got another laugh out of Odysseus, which caused Hermes to grin proudly. He was always happy to make someone laugh.
“That you are.” Odysseus got a little closer again.
“did you have free time to come down here? Or are you skipping out on your duties?” Ody asked, a playfully teasing tone to his voice.
“Hmm, not telling~” Hermes shrugged and then sing-songed in response.
Odysseus laughed again. “So you are skipping out? I mean, I imagine you’re quite the busy god, with all the various domains you have.”
“True! But I’m also quite speedy, don’t you forget! Nah, I had some time.” Hermes revealed with a laugh if his own.
“Ah, well that’s good. Wouldn’t want to distract you from your job, now would we?”
“That we would not.” Hermes laughed again, his little squeaky giggle.
Odysseus posed a question, seemingly out of nowhere. “So, Hermes- do you like to laugh?”
Hermes seemed a little surprised at the sudden question, but answered nonetheless. He had a feeling this might be why he was actually summoned.
“Why, of course I do! Who doesn’t?”
“Ah, that’s good. Let me help you with that!” Without any further warning, the captain snapped his arms around the god and started to scribble against his ribs.
Hermes immediately bursted into happy giggles, not trying to hold back in the least.
“Ehehehe- Ohohody! Ahahaha!” He called a bit, squirming slightly.
“What’s wrong? Can’t take what you dish out?”
“Ehehehehehaha! Ohoho, thahat tihihickles! Ehehehe!” Hermes giggles were bubbly and almost childish in nature, such a purely joyful sound that it made Odysseus laugh along with it.
“Ha! It’s about time I got a little payback!”
Hermes could easily get out of this. Easily. He was very powerful, after all. But he didn’t want to, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. But. He wanted to see if Ody could figure it out on his own.
“So, how’s it feel to be on the other end, huh?”
“Tihihickly!” Hermes snarked, an obvious statement, for amusement. It worked as intended, getting a small amused huff from Odysseus.
“Well no shit, Sherlock. That’s the point.”
To accentuate his words, Odysseus moved his hands to Hermes’ tummy, starting to press lightly on the surface.
Hermes giggles immediately increased in pitch, such a joyful, silly, sugar-sweet sound that Odysseus couldn’t help but laugh along. 
“You know, you could probably escape easily if you really wanted to.” Odysseus commented, successfully realizing the thing Hermes wasn’t even trying to hide.
“Ihihi knohow! Ehehehehe!”
“So, why aren’t you? Do you perhaps like this?”
Hermes nodded, gleeful and giddy as he laughed. “Yehehehehes! Ehehahahahaha-! Tohook yohou lohong ehenohough toho fihigure ohout!” Hermes teased slightly, never one to hold his tongue.
“Oh, really? Are you in any position to give me sass?” Odysseus teased, getting far more into the role now that he knew his friend was enjoying it. He pressed down harder, vibrating clawed hands into Hermes’ stomach.
Hermes squealed, a bouncy, bubbly laugh falling freely from his chest. “Eeee! Ahahahaha thahahat reheheally tihihickles ehehehehehe!”
“Good. Maybe that’ll teach you not to sass me.” Odysseus didn’t let up, still pressing vibrating claws into the god’s belly, making him laugh giddily, his wings flapping slightly.
Odysseus’ eyes followed the motion of the white feathers, and he smirked. He took one hand and moved it up, grabbing one of the wings behind his ears and starting to rub the feathers in between his fingers.
Hermes squealed, a high pitched laugh leaving him. “EEEE! NOHOHOHO-! NOHOHOT THEHE WIHINGS!”
“Oh? Not the wings? Not these little wings right here?” Seeing how horribly it tickled the god, Odysseus brought up his other hand to grab the matching wing in the other side and do the same thing.
Hermes was completely lost to his laughter, chest and stomach shaking from the force of it as small tears formed in his eyes. That tickled so! Bad!
“EEEHAHAHA PLEHEHEASE, OHOHODYYY!” His laughter was squeaky and happy, and Odysseus found that it got more and more contagious the longer it went on, not being able to stop himself from laughing along.
“Hehe, that’s a pretty contagious laugh you’ve got there.”
Hermes was too busy laughing and squirming to reply, his sanity starting to slip in the best way from the ticklish sensation. It was driving him mad, unrelenting tingles racing across his wings and causing fluttering laughter to swarm in his belly.
“What’s wrong? Too ticklish to speak?” Odysseus emphasized the word with a teasing lilt, causing a slight blush to form on Hermes’ face.
The room was filled with the happy, bubbly giggles of the god of messages, squealing laughter echoing from him as his very sensitive wings were assaulted with happy, tingly sensations.
“EEE OHODY PLEHEHEHEASEE!” He begged through his loud, squeaky laughter, only partially true. Because he could probably get away if he really wanted to, although it might be harder considering how weak he was from laughter.
Odysseus just chuckled. “Tickle tickle tickle~” he spoke with a teasing lilt, and he could swear that Hermes squeaked at the words.
Hermes was overwhelmed but at the same time so happy. The tickles were driving him crazy and he didn’t even care, because it was so much fun, sending waves of pure joy through him with every wheezing laugh, every contraction of the muscles in his tummy and sides. Tears of joy had fallen at the point, trailing past the shaded boundary from his helmet.
“EEHAHAHA OHODY PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAP! EHEHEHEHEE!”
“I don’t know.. you tickled me first. Twice.”
“IHIM SOHORRRYYY PLEHEHEHEASEE!”
He was absolutely hysterical with laughter, face starting to hurt from being stretched into such a wide smile for so long. His thoughts were so foggy, his brain thoroughly turned to mush from happiness that he couldn’t even think straight enough to use his powers to get away. He loved it so much but at the same time he couldn’t take anymore!
Sensing that Hermes was getting a little overwhelmed, Odysseus decided to give him a small breather, just lightly tapping against his hips to keep him giggling.
Hermes took the chance to greedily take in air, letting his warm face cool down.
“Hehehehehe.. ohoho myhy gohods.. ehehehe- thahat wahahas aha lohot.”
“Oh, did you think we were done? Oh no no no, I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. I want you to be an absolute puddle of laughter by the time I’m through.”
Hermes eyes sparkled with excitement, hidden by the shade of his helmet, a few giddy giggles falling from him. He was honestly excited by the idea, even though he had just been wrecked within an inch of his life, he still wanted more.
Ody smirked as he saw the excitement ripple through the god of speed. “Oh, what was that~? Did that excite you?”
Hermes nodded, still unashamed for his love of being tickled.
Odysseus chuckled in response, before responding with a teasing lilt that caused more giddy butterflies to flutter within Hermes, making him giggle more than he already was from the light taps on his hips.
“Any last words before I make you hysterical again~?”
Hermes thought for a moment, before shaking his head, eager to get on with it.
Odysseus nodded and then started with kneading his tummy, making him burst into giddy laughter immediately.
“Ahahahahahaha! YohOU ahahare reheheally gohood ahat thahahat- EE!” He complained and complimented at the same time, half protesting but not really meaning a word of it.
“Oh, why thank you!” He grinned smugly, and then, just to be evil, he moved his hands to attack Hermes’ underarms and started to blow raspberries all over his belly.
“OHOHO NOHO- EEE! Dohohont dohoho THahahAT-!”
Odysseus felt his inner father emerging, putting on a sort of playful act and making silly noises as he blew raspberry after raspberry onto the messenger’s tummy, using his beard to add an extra layer of ticklishness.
“Omnomnom! This belly is really tasty!” He made little growling and nomming sounds, which made Hermes laugh even harder from amusement at the silly act.
Hermes was absolutely hysterical with laughter, kicking his feet slightly to try and expel the intense giddy energy rippling through him. Each raspberry sent waves of laughter and tingles across his belly, and it didn’t go away. It lingered, and then layered with each new raspberry or nibble, growing more and more ticklish as time went on. Hermes was crying with laughter and happiness, the feeling so intense and so amazing.
He squeaked and squealed as Odysseus blew a raspberry on his lower tummy, then on each side, then right over his bellybutton, then on his ribs, all over his torso, leaving waves upon waves of giddy tingles.
“AHahahahahHEHA! Ihihit tihihickles sohoho BaHAD EhehehehEHEHAHA!” His chest and stomach were shaking and bouncing from his laughter, the wide, giddy smile never leaving his face, his genuine happiness being contagious to Odysseus.
Odysseus chuckled as well, unable to stop himself at hearing the silly, contagious sound of Hermes’ laughter. He decided to lower the intensity for a bit, moving his hands down to start scribbling behind his knees.
Hermes kicked slightly on instinct, but he didn’t try to truly escape. His hysterical, squeaky laughter died down to giggles again, allowing him to take in air.
“Ehehehehe ohoho myhyhy! Ehehe- ihihi cahahant breheheathe- hoholy moholy..” Hermes breathed out through his giggles, taking in breaths and still feeling so giddy.
Odysseus gave him a chance to breathe for a moment, wiggling his fingers behind his knees and tracing around his ankles, before managing to pry his sandals away from his feet slightly, and scratching gently at the soles.
Hermes giggles increased, not nearly as hysterical as it was earlier, but definitely more than it was from the more gentle tracing.
“EhHahHaha ohohohody plehehehease! Ehehehehe!”
“Oh, come on. We both know you don’t actually want me to stop.”
Hermes nodded again. He really didn’t. He protested, yes, but he didn’t mean any of it. It was only instinct, the natural reaction to such intense tickles, even though he enjoyed every second.
After a few more moments, Ody smirked and turned to look at Hermes, speaking with a teasing, taunting tone.
“I’m gonna get your wings~” he sing-songed, scratching at the edge of his ankle, right before where the wings met.
Hermes frantically protested, a giddy nervousness filling his chest and stomach. “Nonononohoho!”
“Yes yes yes~ these soft, little wings are gonna get tickled~”
A faint blush dusted Hermes’ face at the teasing words, so many butterflies and zaps of giddy, nervous excitement rushing through him as the anticipation drove him up the wall.
“Are you ready~”
“Nohoho!” Hermes protested again, even though he would much rather the soldier get it over with rather than deal with this anticipation.
Odysseus smirked again, responding instantly and with a faux lack of sympathy. “Too bad.”
Without any pause, he grabbed each wing on one leg and started to scribble against the feathers, scratching at the base of the wings.
Hermes was once again immediately thrown into heavy , hysterical laughter. “EEHAHAHA! OHOHO MYHYHY GOHODS- NOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE! EEEE!”
Odysseus chuckled again, the contagious laughter fully infecting him. “Oh my, quite ticklish here, are we~?”
Hermes blushed a bit more at the teasing, the fluster only adding to the ticklish experience, if you asked him.
His free wings on the other ankle flapped frantically, drawing the king’s attention.
“Well, would you look at that. It seems like your left set of wings is feeling a little left out.”
“NohOhOHO-! PLEHEHEHEASE!”
“Please tickle your other wings? Why of course!” He taunted, switching sides.
He once again pinched and rubbed the feathers in between his fingers, making Hermes toss his head back as fits of laughter racked his whole body.
He got such an evil thought just then, leaning to one of the wings being his ears and blowing a huge raspberry right on it.
Hermes squealed with laughter once again, absolutely hysterical as mirthful tears dampened his face.
Hermes was in absolute ticklish agony, his whole torso quivering with the force of his hysterical laughter from the blissful torture. It was absolutely horrible and yet he loved it so much, rushes of euphoria filling him with every laugh, every raspberry on his wings, every overwhelming ticklish touch.
After only a minute or so of that, Odysseus stopped completely with a final wiggle in his bellybutton, leaving Hermes gasping for air in between fits of residual giggles.
He wiped his eyes under his helmet from the tears of laughter, his face still split in two from his wide smile.
Ok so I was in the car driving home today and my brain was full of Hermes drabbles and this happened
*wait a minute Zieru's design for Hermes is perfect for sneaky side tickles or even a tackle and shirt flip followed by raspberries*
Then my brain was like 'oh wait a minute already i can make a little thing about this on tumblr later' so here we are..uhm....enjoy Epic fandom :3
Ever since Odysseus had come home from his 20-year journey, killed all the suitors in his palace, and re-united with his son and loving wife, he'd felt more at peace than he'd ever been. Reasonably enough, he still had a lingering feeling of dread. Now, why would he? All potential threats were taken care of- Poseidon was off his back, the suitors were dead, and he was home; what more could there be to worry about?
Oh, except maybe the fact that Hermes was now a frequent visitor, alongside Athena (who practically lived with the family of 3, considering how much she was around). Thankfully, he wasn't up to his mischievous self the whole week, just......5 days out of 7. Of course, the only real reason he was allowed around (he'd probably still be regardless, but anyways-) was because he helped keep Telemachus busy; Odysseus and Penelope were always together, so Telemachus had no one but Argon, Athena, and his great-grandpa Hermes to hang out with. Luckily for his parents, they did an excellent job of, well.....babysitting; while Telemachus and his divine friends (plus Argon) called it "hanging out", Odysseus and Penelope called it babysitting, because well...that's what it was.
Now, Hermes was quite the help with Telemachus, but that didn't mean the two stayed out of trouble. No- if anything, the trouble around the palace all but lessened. At first, it was little things- rearranged books, weapons missing from the arena and showing up in random places around the palace (one was even in the bathroom), y'know, the little things. But then it started to escalate- water buckets on the top of doors, invisible trip-wires causing flour to pour all over someone, fake spiders in drinks and beds, and overall shenanigans. And there was only one person (ok, maybe two) who could've been behind it.
As Odysseus walked into the arena, he noticed two practice spears missing from their usual stands. Beginning the search, he checked each regular hiding spot, only to find them dangling just out of his reach inside his room. Reaching up he attempted to grab one, missing the end just barely.
"Need some help?"
Odysseus barely had time to react before he felt something scribbling against his exposed underarm, immediately snapping his arm back down and looking around.
Nothing. Why does this have to be so difficult?
Meanwhile, Hermes was watching from the shadows, waiting to strike again. Watching Odysseus reach up to grab at the dangling practice spears again, he slowly drifted forward to once again mess with the King of Ithaca, knowing nothing too horrible would happen, should he be caught. No, he wouldn't- he was too fast for that, surely.
Reaching out, he squeezed the king's sides with a quick yet firm squeeze, then raced back to the shadows just as Odysseus turned around.
"Alright, who's doing that? Come out here, now!"
Hermes had to stifle a giggle from where he was, and decided to pretend like he'd been passing by the room in search of Telemachus, and mess with his grandson some more. As he disappeared out of the room, he reappeared just outside, then floated past calling out Telemachus's name.
"Telemachus! Where did you go? Darling, I found a cool rock!"
As soon as Odysseus laid eyes on him, his suspicions were made true.
"Hermes! Just who I was looking for- come here for a moment, will you?"
Hermes floated over, landing in front of him as if it was just a normal day. Oh, if Hermes had only known what the king was planning.
"I have a question for you- can you get those down for me?"
Odysseus asked, pointing to the dangling spears. He watched as Hermes shrugged, beginning to float up to get the practice spears down, but was stopped by a dug on his cloak.
"From the ground- I wanna see you do something without flying around for once."
The man had to fight back a smug grin as he watched the latter reach up for the spears as he had, knowing that the other's attention was on trying to get them down without leaving the carpeted floor.
So he could only fight back a sly chuckle as he reached out and quickly squeezed the messenger's exposed sides, earning him a rewarding shriek of surprise as he quickly crossed his arms to appear innocent.
"Whahat was that, Ody?"
"What was what, messenger?"
"....nothing-"
The king knew it wasn't just nothing; he'd gotten into tickle fights before, he wasn't dumb. So of course he had to do it again. Reaching out once more, he spidered his fingers across the back of his friend's ribs, earning another shriek, followed by a floating Hermes glaring at him from above; obviously, it wasn't a real glare, they both knew he enjoyed it as much as anyone.
"Are you sure? To me, that sounded like a shrieky little giggle-"
"Shuhut up- if you do that one more time, darling, I can't guarantee you'll be safe from me for the next week, at the least."
"Hmm...I'm willing to take that risk!"
Odysseus lunged at the floating god, grabbing his legs and pulling him down, causing them to tumble to the ground. In the end, Hermes was flat on his back with his shirt (the front of his cloak, really- it was all attached) over his face, and the king wasted no time in climbing on top of the normally smug-looking god (haha get it, normally smug looking bc u cant see his face), sitting on his hips so he couldn't move. Of course, he could always just disappear and reappear somewhere else, but where was the fun in that?
"Odysseus, dohohon't! I'm sohohrryy"
"No, I don't think you are- but look at this, you can't even see me! That's no fun, now is it?"
He reached up, pulling the part of Hermes's cloak-shirt-thing (shoat??) that was over his face down to where his chest ended and his ribs began.
"There, that's better! Now I can see you, and you can see me!"
"Nohoho shihit!"
Odysseus gasped in mock offense, placing a hand on his chest.
"Language! I can't let that go unnoticed, now can I? That needs to be treated, if you're going to be around Telemachus more!"
As he finished saying this, he brought a hand down to begin scribbling over the messenger's exposed belly, causing hearty giggles to tumble out of the god's mouth like some sort of dam had burst, and all the pent-up things just came flowing out.
Hermes managed to say between giggles, his cheeks flushed a pinkish-red color as he scrunched his eyes shut, crow's feet appearing around the corners of his eyes. Odysseus decided to put his newly-shaven beard to use, and it had been a while since he'd used it on someone, much less anyone other than family.
"Hey Hermes, what's my favorite fruit? Do you remember?"
The king asked, waiting Hermes's answer. Now, the laughing god wasn't stupid, he knew what was going to happen; but where's the fun in not playing along? Besides, it had been a while since he'd really, truthfully laughed; this was a much-needed release.
"Nohoho! Daharlihing, I'm sohohrry! Plehehase-"
While the giggling deity may have been convincing to any other, Odysseus knew he was enjoying himself. Plus, this was a bit of payback for Hermes messing with him, before he was given the Holy Moly before fighting Circe, back on her island. Now, he really did have a taste of the power (heh get it).
"Well, do you? It's ok, I do!"
Odysseus brought his head closer to the god's face, just to fluster him more.
"It's raspberries!"
He watched as the god's face turned a darker shade of red, then he leant down and began nuzzling his face into the messenger's belly, his half-shaven beard adding to the measure of tickles shooting through the latter's body, adding little raspberries here an there. Poor Hermes (not really, he loved it-) was laughing himself silly, but dare he admit it, he was having fun.
"NAHAHAHO! OHOHDHYHY!!!"
The king's ears weren't the best, but he could've sworn he almost went deaf- the god's shrieky laughter was so loud, he was sure all of Ithaca could hear him. Endearingly enough though, his ears were the same color as the blush covering his face, his hair was mussed up, and the wings on his head where happily flapping up and down, as if trying to fly away.
Being a father, (and frequent tickle monster, and trickster,) he knew when someone was at a limit, and when they weren't. He could tell the squirming, shrieking, laughing puddle under him that was Hermes was nearing there, so he gave one last raspberry to the middle of his stomach, squeezing both his sides at the same time to bring out one last giggly shriek before getting off the other, allowing them to breathe as Odysseus picked up his bow, shooting the rope that held the spears in place, causing them to fall onto the floor with a satisfying thump.
"Have fun?"
"Mahaybe...."
And with that, the reinging king of Ithaca walked out, carrying the practice spears to the arena to put them back, passing Telemachus on the way.
"Oh, hey dad! Have you seen Hermes?"
Odysseus only smirked to himself before answering with a simple
"Check my room",
then walking past his son, leaving him to find the giggly mess of a god that was on his bedroom floor for Telemachus to find.
A/n: This is my first tkl fic so don't be afraid to give my criticism, I've been dying to write this for over a week and finally sat my ass down and did it! I couldn't find any fanart for this sorry TwT. Also in the greek myth Tiresias was changed into a woman for several years while he was living and had a daughter named Manto sooooo I wanted to add that (I just made him use he/him pronouns bc I'm a bit lazy rn). Anyways I'm done yapping hope ya like!
Summary: Odysseus wants to know 'who' and Tiresias isn't going to give that information up easily, it's not a part of the prophet's job description to explain the future to a dumbass but what happened when the dumbass turns into a different type of monster?
Word Count: 1.9k
lee: Tiresias
ler: Odysseus
“I see your wife with a man who is haunting, a man with a trail of bodies-” A frantic voice yelled out “Who?!” Rude to interrupt, Tiresias stood firm ready to just continue on with this whole ‘prophet story time’ spiel.
The eerie silence didn’t last long as the cloaked figure attempted to go on. “I see a song of past romance-” Another interruption from the shorter man almost made him whip around and just push Odysseus off the cliff there and then. Instead of the living man stopping there he took another step forward, was it rage? Anger? Hate? Who knew? Tense was the only way to describe the whole ordeal.
“Who? Who is the man?” Odysseus took a step forward momentarily pissed but also terrified. Tiresias just stood still mouth slightly agape trying to go on, the blindfold of bandages was slightly coming undone by now time to speed this up.
“I see the-” A push stopped him and he stumbled back using the raggedy staff to regain balance “No you don’t see!”
Wow, what an original insult Again with a barely hidden sigh the cloaked man attempted to go on. This was getting him a bit prissy every time he got interrupted
“-sacrifice of man, I see-”
“Just answer the damn question!”
“Can you shut up or can you not deal with not hearing your own voice for one minute?” Okay maybe that wasn’t the best reaction to a fairly traumatized man on his way home but disrespecting the soul who was giving him the future struck an annoyed chord with Tiresias.
Everything went still for a second, if the blind prophet could see the look on Odysseus’s face he would have ran. The gleam in the captain’s eyes was ‘little shit energy’. Without a warning or even a noise Tiresias was tackled to the ground his staff fell to the ground and the bandages around his eyes slid off revealing the completely white eyes beneath them proving the factor of being completely blind.
A gas escaped Tiresias, and he tried to hit Odysseus, at the very least push him off but the frantic uncoordinated flailing wasn’t getting him anywhere. “Let me go or I swear-”
“You’re not in the position to be making demands-”
"Can you quit fucking interrupting every 2 seconds?!”
“Can you just fucking tell me who?”
After Odysseus spoke those words through gritted teeth the prophet made a ‘tch’ sound and just laid limp on the ground. Their positions weren’t anything too odd just a short asshole keeping a slightly unraveled soul pinned to the ground by holding his shoulders down and sitting on his thighs.
Even though Tiresias didn’t have pupils he still rolled his empty sight filled eyes which just made Odysseus slightly annoyed. When the silver haired man felt the hands holding his shoulders move away, he went to push the dick off trying to at least hear where he was, to look into the future for this would be stupid, buuuuuuut maybe a little useful.
Before Tiresias had the chance to blink breath, or even twitch the brown haired ass man had moved his hands down to his sides and gave them a gentle squeeze.
“Who?” Another squeeze followed after Odysseus spoke. On Tiresias’s part he couldn’t remember the last time anyone tried to tickle a dead soul. During his time as a woman, he would always hold Manto close and tickle her to sleep planting soft kisses over her face.
An annoying blush creeped onto the prophet's face and he glued his mouth shut making sure to bite down on his lip. Another squeeze followed along with a “Who?” though he stayed deadly silent and still (hah puns). Though Tiresias stayed deadly silent Odysseus face changed to a slightly annoyed look to smug.
Without a warning or a tease to the blind one he shoved his hands under his arms pinching and squeezing. A long gasp and a soft giggle escaped Tiresias before he clamped his arms to his sides while using a hand to cover his mouth. “Gotcha.” Odysseus’s tone went from cold to teasing so randomly it was worse than whiplash.
“W-what?” Why is he- what the fuck?! Looking into the future maybe could help but all he could focus on is not giggling at the annoying tingling in his armpits. Suddenly the tickling stop, but before Tiresias could react the other grabbed his arms using one hand to pin them above his head leaving him unable to hit him, though it’s not like he could see him to hit him.
“If you tell me ‘who’ I’ll stop tickling you, unless you want me to keep going.” Oh that pompous, cocky, monster of a man, and how dare he insinuate such a ridiculous idea!
“You came here for a look into the future not for me to summarize the prophecy because you can’t understand it.” Some screams from the souls echoed in the distance, the Ithacan’s hand rested itself on the prophet’s lower ribs making him finch away causing his hood to fall off completely revealing the embarrassing look on his face.
Tiresias’s face was flushed from such a humiliating turn of events while his lips were in a slightly wobblily smile. “Well maybe you could just tell me ‘who’.”
“That’s for you to figure out.” Though his voice kept a steady unimpressed tone it had shrunken in volume. “Guess I’ll have to do this the hard way.”
Suddenly or rather predictably Odysseus dug his wiggling fingers into the bashful prophet’s ribs. Pinching, kneading, and poking in between the bones though Tiresias managed to keep his laughter hidden for the first minute the fact he couldn’t see where the king would go next and couldn’t find the concentration to predict where he would go next a surprisingly girlish squeal escaped him and he managed to use his leg to kick Odysseus in the back “Stohop this!”
Instead of backing down that little monster just decided to tease him through the soul’s sea of giggles and squirming “Well I coooouuuuuld if you answered my queastion...”
Instead of waiting for Tiresias to respond he moved his hand as quick of he could to squeeze his hip causing him to let out a short scream and a harsh buck. Mortification flooded the prophet but Odysseus’ smile just grew three times the size.
“Looks like I found a bad spot.” The fucking lilt in the damn living’s voice made Tiresias’s face burn like it was being melted off in a fire. “Wait-” Hopefully this was the last interruption because Odysseus’ let go of both of the prophet’s wrist to use both of his hands to squeeze and rub tickly circles into Tiresias’ hips.
The reaction was instantaneous, one loud high pitched almost feminine scream escaped him followed by loud squeaky laughter. Uncoordinated arms flailed uselessly trying to hit the damned asshole who decided to quit talking finally. The only downside was now Tiresias couldn’t tell where the little shit was exactly.
“Yohohohu wihin JUhUhUsT stOOOoOP!” When the tickling stopped Tiresias used his hands to cover his cheeks and closed the white irised eyes. “So, who is it?” No response. “Who?” Again, no response except calm breathing. “Who-”
“I heard you the first damn time!” A pause.
“I cannot tell you ‘who’ you must figure that out yourself.”
He felt Odysseus let go and stand up so as any sane person dead or alive he went to sit up. An undignified surprised shriek, he felt himself get turned over so now he was lying on his stomach feeling like a cat who failed to land properly. Odysseus sat himself down on Tiresias’ back leaving the latter unable to get up.
Since there wasn’t any way for the blind shit to hit him, Odysseus decided to tease him while slowly undoing the prophet’s sandals. “If you wanted me to keep going you could’ve just asked.”
That fucking cocky- “What in the gods are you talking about?” With a sharp kick he managed to hit the king in the chest with his heel making the other let out a gasp. “Okay now you’re just asking for it!”
Without warning a hand took hold of both of his feet own by the ankles and scribbled over the bare soles. Quieter giggles that soon morphed into soft breathless laughter escaped Tiresias who at the point had managed to pull his hood back over his head.
After a moment of dead silence (hehe i love underworld puns) Odysseus hesitated before softly scratching at the back of the prophet’s knees, now how the other responded to this almost scared Odysseus so bad he almost just stopped the tickling there and then. Tiresias’ whole body went still and for a split second everything went still before a scream and very violent kicking.
Odysseus would probably walk away with a few bruises from this whole ordeal but it was for information.
For Tiresias it was the worst sensation he’d ever had to deal with alive or dead. (dramatic ik) It was unbearable in such a small spot it made him want to just stop existing right there and then.
No matter how much kicking, screaming, or attempted looks into the future were helping and with the rapidly forming tears in his eyes he threw the metaphorical towel in. “IT’SYOU’WHO’ISYOU LEHET MEHEH GOHOHO- ITOLDYOULETMEGO-”
Though the captain literally had no clue what the prophet just said he decided it was getting nowhere and thankfully stopped squeezing the backs of his knees and got off of him. In relief Tiresias just quickly hugged his knees to his chest covering himself in his cloak almost looking as if he was a kitten. It took a few minutes for the excess giggles to stop and his breath to go to normal.
No one moved or spoke in that time, finally Tiresias grabbed his staff and stood up. “-Portrayals of betrayal, and a brothers’ final stand.” Soft silhouettes of the crew circled around them as Tiresias picked up where he had left off. “I see you on the brink of death,”
The slashing of a sword could be heard behind Odysseus but when he turned around the was nothing, suddenly some of the souls’ hands started to pull the captain to the cliff like they were clawing for something to crawl up “Wait-” the hands didn’t stop pulling no matter how he tried to find his footing on the darkened stone surface.
“I see you draw your final breath.” At the moment a soul grabbed harshly at the king’s ankle causing him to almost fall back but catch himself on the edge of the cliff. “I see you draw your final breath!” The prophet stood directly in front of where Odysseus stayed hanging.
“I see a man who gets to make it home alive,” He kneeled down to be face level with Odysseus and placed a finger on his forehead slightly pushing him more off of the gravely surface. “But it’s no longer you.” And with one final soft nudge of the finger pressing against Odysseus’ forehead he completely lost grip of the edge and fell into the darkness below while Tiresias stayed looking down blindly.
I'm finally making one. I haven't posted a lot of fics, but it's always so much easier to find fics on creator's blogs like this, so I figured why not. This will be linked in my intro post!
Criminal Minds:
Stressed - Lee!Reid, Ler!Morgan
Summary: Reid is stressed out and getting in his head. Morgan helps him clear his mind for a moment.
Nightmare - Lee!Reid, Ler!Morgan
Summary: Reid is getting horrible nightmares about Hankel. Morgan helps him come back to reality.
Sneak - Lee!Reid, Ler!Morgan
Summary: Morgan has been nonstop attacking Reid, as Reid hasn't let his guard down once.
The Maze Runner:
Anticipation - Lee!Newt, Ler!Minho, Thomas is there too
Summary: Minho and Thomas find out Newt is ticklish and abuse the art of anticipation.
Wrestle - Lee!Newt, Ler!Minho
Summary: Newt wakes Minho up in a chaotic way, and Minho is not going to let him get away with that.
The Newest Greenie - non tickle fic about Newt, though there is some implied Lee!Newt
Supernatural:
"Don't Laugh!" - Lee!Sam, Ler!Dean
Summary: Sam wants to go on a hunt so badly, so Dean offers him a deal.
Wings - Lee!Castiel, Ler!Dean
Summary: Dean questions if Cass is ticklish, and he decides to figure it out himself.
EPIC The Musical:
Monster - Lee!Telemachus, Ler!Odysseus
Summary: Odysseus tells Telemachus of the most dangerous monster there is.
Bones:
"I don't look robotic." - Lee!Zack, Ler!Angela
Summary: Angela insists that Zack doesn't smile enough, and decides to take matters into her own hands.
"Huh. He is ticklish." - Lee!Finn, Ler!Wendell
Summary: Poking fun at Finn's age turns into poking at something else.
Shatter Me:
The Non-Violent Way - Lee!Kenji, Ler!Warner
Summary: Kenji accidentally fucks up Warner's haircut, and Warner refuses to let it slide.
OPLA (One Piece Live Action):
"Touch me and it will be the last thing you ever do." - Lee!Zoro, Ler!Sanji, slight Ler!Nami
Summary: Zoro claims he killed the dinosaur. Sanji disagrees.
Three Short Lee!Zoro Oneshots - Lee!Zoro, Ler!Sanji
The Hunger Games:
"Real or not real?" - Lee!Peeta, Ler!Katniss
Summary: Peeta and Katniss play a game of real or not real to help with Peeta's jumbled memories, and he stumbles upon one that almost seems too silly to be real.
Zombieland:
Rule #33 - Lee!Columbus, Ler!Tallahassee
Summary: Columbus is being a little twerp. Tallahassee decided to teach him a lesson about respecting your elders.
Star Wars:
His Young Padawan - Lee!Anakin, Ler!Obi-Wan
Summary: Anakin insists that he isn't as young as Obi-Wan says he is, and Obi-Wan would love nothing more than to prove him wrong.
Living Again - Lee!Obi-Wan, Ler!Anakin, slight Ler!Obi-Wan, slight Lee!Anakin
Summary: After one of Obi-Wan's greatest losses hits him hard, he attempts to isolate himself. Thankfully, Anakin's always been good at defying his Master's wishes.
Bloodymary (Iron Lung and PHM crossover)
Simon Says - Lee!Grace, Ler!Simon
Summary: Grace is being a little shit and won't go to sleep, so Simon tries to make a deal using a game that Grace taught him.
A/n: Hii! This took me so long to write 😭 I honestly don't even know what the plot of this is. It's just a bunch of whatever came to mind that fit in. Anywhos, hope yall enjoy!!
Lee: Odysseus, Polites, Eurylochus and a special guest ;)
Ler: Odysseus, Polites, Eurylochus, and two special guests!!
Word count: 6555 (how the heck did I manage this 😭) btw this is 15 pages on docs 😃
Warnings: Tickles! Theres also descriptions of panic attacks! Let me know I need to add anything <3
☆~~~☆~~~☆
This was it. The last day of not having the responsibility of being a king. Odysseus was terrified.
So, one last time, he was spending the day with his best friends, Polites and Eurylochus. And… well… They were trying their best to have it be a happy day, stress free and all. However, the soon-to-be thirteen-year-old king was making it nearly impossible with the amount of brooding and anxiety he brought along with him.
* I mean, it makes sense. Of course it does. But, relaxing wouldn’t hurt him, and he was acting like he was going to implode if he stopped thinking about tomorrow.
“Look, Ody, I completely understand that you’re stressed, really I do,” Polites finally said after catching his attention for the first time in the past 30 minutes.
“But if you keep stressing yourself out like this, you definitely won’t be ready for tomorrow,” Eurylochus finished, patting Ody’s shoulder endearingly but sternly.
That only seemed to make him worry even more; he began sputtering unintelligible whispers. Polites reached out to grab his arm, but he yanked away and curled into a ball.
“What if I’m not ready? What if I mess everything up? What if I-”
“Ody!” Polites yelled, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at the smaller. “Deep breaths, okay? You’ll make it through this.”
His breathing stayed frantic and hiccuping, but he kept his eyes on his friend, trying his best to copy what he was saying, but he was struggling on staying focused. His vision kept fading in and out. And when it was even somewhat working, it was blurred with tears.
“It’s okay, Odysseus. Just try to copy me. Breathe in, and then out. You got this,” he said, rubbing his thumb on the prince’s cheek comfortingly. He took in shaky breaths, tears still rolling down his face and still hiccuping.
When he calmed down some more, to the point where he stopped hiccuping, they both went through a couple breathing exercises before anyone tried to speak again. Once Ody’s breathing became somewhat normal, Eurylochus spoke.
“Is there anything we can do for you, my friend?”
“I… I don’t know,” he cried, wiping the tears welling in his eyes. “I just wanna feel…happy? Or anything other than anxiety.”
He buried his face into Polites’ shoulder, who happily wrapped his arms around his friend. Ody was only thirteen, and yet he was becoming king. There was so much stress weighing on his shoulder, he didn’t think there would ever be a time when this stress would recede. He sobbed into his friend’s shoulder, and while his only thought was how pathetic the soon-to-be king must look crying his eyes out, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was possibly the last day he could ever get away with crying, ever.
All he wanted was a bit of relief, but he couldn’t find any of that, no matter how hard he sobbed, how much he breathed, how many times he told himself he’d be fine. There was nothing that was helping, and it hurt. A lot. And as much as it hurt him, it hurt his friends too. They hated to see him like this. But there was nothing they could think of that would help.
“I don’t know what to do!” Odysseus cried, shoving himself further into Polites’ embrace.
Polites rubbed his back soothingly. “I know, Ody.”
Eurylochus knelt down next to the other two. “Ody-”
He didn’t get to finish whatever reassurance he was about to give because of Odysseus throwing himself on top of the larger boy to hug him. Polites joined and they ended up creating a small dogpile of sobs. They stayed there for awhile, crying and hugging and reassuring.
“I’m…” Ody started once he calmed down, “terrified.”
“We know,” Eurylochus said. “And we’re here for you when you need us.”
“I just…” Odysseus tried, “I just feel like I’m not allowed to act my age. Everyone is telling me that I need to be more mature. That I’m not allowed to be a kid. Maybe they’re right…” He finished, looking away sadly.
“Sure, you’re not a kid anymore. But you are a teenager. You're still allowed to have fun, even if you have big responsibilities coming up.” Eurylochus said. Ody looked ashamed as he stared at the floor. “I know tomorrow is stressful for you. But you’ll be okay. And you’re going to have fun tonight, because… because tonight is about you being carefree, even if it’s the last time. So, could you trust us? Would you let us make tonight better? More fun than just stressing over everything? Please?”
Odysseus looked up and smiled warmly at his friends. “Okay. Can you work your crazy friendship magic? And maybe cheer me up?” he said weakly, laughing a hoarse and dry laugh.
“Y’know what? I think we can figure something out,” Polites said, winking. “Let the council decide how to cure the sadness!”
Ody shook his head lightheartedly. “Okay, ‘council’ let me know what you decide.”
The two stepped aside for a moment, making sure they were out of earshot. With them still being young and silly teens, their ideas were sure to be…something.
“What can we do?” Eurylochus asked, clearly lacking ideas.
“I have an idea, but you can’t tell me not to do it or that it’s a silly idea. It’ll be good to remind him that he still has us, especially when he wants to relax from being king for a minute.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“He’s ticklish, right?” Polites grinned evilly, turning to look at the teen in distress.
Eurylochus caught on quickly, also sparing a glance towards him. “Yes, he is.”
Odysseus suddenly became more squirmy with the sets of eyes on him. “What did the council say?” He asked as they walked towards him again.
“We’ve found a solution to your problem!” Polites exclaimed, sitting down next to the prince.
“And that is?” he asked again, now a little worried.
Eurylochus joined the two. “You’ll see. Will you lay down?”
“Uhh, okay?”
When he did lay down, Eurylochus pounced to grab his arms and Polites immediately
clambered onto his waist. With their combined efforts, they effectively had him pinned.
“Hey wait! What are you doing??” He yelped, struggling against both of his friends.
“Exactly what we said we’d do!” Polites smiled, resting his hands on the soon-to-be king’s sides.
“Cheering you up,” Eurylochus finished.
Odysseus had a puzzled look on his face, staring up at Eurylochus with furrowed brows.
Polites snickered at the innocence of his friend. He began to tap teasingly on his sides, which seemed to get the point across. Ody’s eyes widened quickly and he started to squirm intensely. He hid his face in his arm, eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched.
“There we go!” Polites said, taking one finger and scritching it on Odysseus’ neck. He scrunched his shoulders up and made a strangled noise in his throat. “Took you a minute to catch on, huh?”
Odysseus shook his head frantically.
Eurylochus grinned and leaned over Ody’s face to tease him. “What are you saying ‘no’ to?”
He only got more frantic shaking in response. Eurylochus chuckled before pinning his arms under his knees.
Since Odysseus’ eyes were still closed, he couldn’t see anything they were doing. What kind of friends would they be if they didn’t take advantage of that?
Polites held a finger up to his mouth in an attempt to tell Eurylochus to be quiet. He then mouthed some words to the other.
Don’t touch him until he opens his eyes!
Once he was sure the other understood, the three of them stayed in silence. Polites even took the extra step to remove his hands from Ody’s sides, hovering them over his stomach.
After a couple more minutes of silence, the pinned teen peeked one eye open. He made direct eye-contact with Polites, who smirked before dropping his hands to claw at his stomach. He yelped and slammed his mouth shut, gritting his teeth to prevent any giggles slipping.
“Awe, don’t fight it, Odysseus!” Polites pouted. “Just laugh. It’ll be good for you.”
With that, he moved to his ribs. He scribbled into his lower ribs, making him squeak and thrash. Eurylochus joined in by pinching his top rib.
“Come on, Ody, it won’t kill you to just be happy,” Eurylochus said, digging into his underarms.
Odysseus made a very un-king-like noise before bursting into little giggles. “Ihit mihight!”
Polites rolled his eyes. “Drama king.”
“Shuhut uhup!”
“That’s not any way to treat your best friends, Ody,” Polites teased, stopping his tickling. “I wonder if your attitude could benefit from a visit? Perhaps from your old friend~?”
“NO! Nohonono!” Odysseus yelled, eyes going wide and thrashing getting worse. “Ihi’m nohot a kihid! Don’t threheaten mehe with something soho.. Chihildish!”
“You’re not in a position to boss anyone around,” Eurylochus reminded, ending his tickles and poking his cheek. “I think you could do well with some attitude adjustment by the monster.”
“I thought we stopped using ‘the monster’ when we were eleven,” Ody sassed, glancing to the side.
“What? You literally used it on me last week!” Polites yelled.
Odysseus cheekily laughed. “You screeched so loud.”
Polites’ jaw dropped, his face turning red and his eye twitching. Eurylochus held back a laugh, coughing to cover it up and accidentally freeing Odysseus’ arms.
“Okay, that’s it!” he yelled, flipping his friend onto his stomach, to which he let out a groan of surprise.
“What are you-?” Ody began, turning his head as much as he could to look at his friend, who was now sitting on his back.
Eurylochus looked at the pair stunned.
Odysseus got his answer when Polites traced one finger up his spine. He squealed, flushing a deep red shade. “Wait, Poli-”
“Ohoh, did you think I forgot about this spot?” he teased.
“Ihi- I’d hoped you did…” Ody muttered.
Eurylochus laughed. “Speaking of spots you hoped we’d forget about…”
He walked to sit next to his friend’s legs. He experimentally wiggled a finger on the back of his knee.
“NOHOHO!” Odysseus screeched.
“Ohoh my gohosh! I forgot how ticklish your legs are!” Polites said, poking his back playfully.
“Shuhut uhup!”
“Hey! What did we say about bossing us around?” Eurylochus tsked, scribbling into the back of his thighs. Odysseus snorted loudly then screeched before falling into steady, boyish laughter.
“Dihid you juhust snort?” Polites giggled, tracing little shapes on the prince’s back.
“Behe QUIHIEHET! POLI!” he tried to shush them, but was interrupted by Polites clawing into his shoulder blades..
“Yes, dear friend? What’s the matter?”
“NOHOT THEHERE!!”
“Why not?” he smirked, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Too ticklish?”
“Noho! IHI’M nohOT!”
“Oh, well, if you’re not ticklish, why are you laughing so hard?” he said, digging into the back of his ribs. The only answer he got was screaming laughter and a couple snorts.
“And why are you snorting so much? Are you a little piglet now?” Eurylochus said flatly, spidering across his thighs, which elicited even more snorts.
“SHUHUSH! PLEHEAHASE!”
“Well, since you said please,” Polites teased, just before he went silent. Well, maybe not silent, but he did stop talking. Instead, he started to blow raspberries on his neck, making little growling noises.
“POHOLIHI!!” Odysseus yelled, trying to push himself off the ground. Everytime he got close, though, Polites would scribble under his arm or on his ribs, making his arms fail and him plop back down.
“Polites isn’t here anymore,” he threatened, “Only the tickle monster!”
Eurylochus chuckled deeply. He then pinched lightly up and down his thighs and knees.
“AHH! PLEHEAHASE!” He begged, kicking his legs violently, almost whacking Eurylochus a couple times.
“Can you not?” Eurylochus complained, removing his hands from Ody and dodging yet another flailing leg.
“I CAHAN’T COHONTROHOL IHIT!”
He sighed, “Fine, I’ll help you.”
“Whahat ihis thahat suhupohosed to mehean?”
His answer came quickly when there was a sudden weight on his ankles, revoking his ability to kick his legs. The pinching also returned.
“NOHO! NOHOT FAHAIR!” Odysseus whined, trying once again to push himself off the ground, but failing thanks to Polites. Speaking of, how on Earth has he not run out of air yet?
“You complain and complain and complain, and yet you haven’t tapped out.”
“SHUHUHUSH!!”
“No, I don’t think I will. I think I’m gonna mention how you haven’t said stop once,” Eurylochus said, noticing how Odysseus got more red and more shy in his actions. “I’m not saying this to embarrass you. Just know that it’s okay to want to laugh. We won’t judge you, right, Poli?”
Polites answered with a thumbs up, still blowing raspberries all over his neck and shoulders.
“See? Don’t be embarrassed,” he reassured, lightly scratching the back of his knee. “Just remember that we will use this against you whenever you get too stressed,” he finished while winking at the prince.
To really rub in his annoyance, Eurylochus reached forward to squeeze his hip bone. He jumped with so much power that he almost launched Polites across the room. The only reason he didn’t go flying into a wall was because Eurylochus caught his arm and pulled him back towards himself.
“Thanks, Eury,” He said, laying down in a dramatic heap. Said man gave him a nod while Odysseus caught his breath.
“You still alive, Ody?” Eurylochus asked, climbing off of him and rolling him onto his back again. He only provided a weak thumbs up.
Polites adjusted his head to rest on Odysseus’ stomach. “Have you had enough yet? Are you done stressing over everything?”
Ody looked away shyly. “I…don’t know.”
“Awwwee!! Ody~!” Polites said, pushing himself towards the prince’s face and trying to hug him.
“Oh shove ohoff!” He laughed while hitting at the optimist’s shoulders.
Polites gasped dramatically. “How rude! I think you deserve to be punished for that.”
Almost immediately, Polites was on his waist, pinching lightly at his ribs. He grappled with his hands, but wasn’t doing much to stop him.
“Noho!”
Eurylochus rolled his eyes. “If you really disliked it as much as you’re pretending to, there’s a lot you could do to stop it.”
Odysseus flushed and shut his eyes tight.
“But we all know you don’t want that, right?” Polites finished.
“Stohop teheasing mehe!”
“Stop teasing you?” Eurylochus asked, taking a seat right next to Ody’s head.
“Yehes!”
Polites paused to think, hand on his chin. “Hmm…No! I quite enjoy teasing you. Especially on how adorable your laugh is!”
Odysseus notably got redder, his boyish laughter getting more loud.
“Ooo! Or how cute your smile is!” Eurylochus added.
“Or-!”
“SHUHUT UHUP!” he yelped. “IHIHI”M NOHOT CUHUTE!”
“Oh, of course you are, Ody!” Polites teased. “You’re our adorably cute friend! With super cute reactions and giggles and-”
Odysseus shoved a hand over Polites’ mouth. Polites blinked, dumbfounded, before licking his hand in an attempt to get him to move it.
“Eugh! Dohon’t lick me!” Ody complained, wiping his hand on the other’s shirt.
“Ugh, ‘don’t lick’ and ‘don’t tease’, is there anything we can do?” Eurylochus joked. He then also began to trace his collarbone.
“Nohoho!”
“No we can’t?” Polites said. “What a shame. ‘Cause we’re still gonna tease and tickle you!”
“Pohohlihi! Eheuhury!”
“Yes?” the two replied in sync.
“Ihi dohon’t knohow!”
Eurylochus laughed and ruffled Odysseus’ hair, stopping his tracing on his collarbones.
“Hehey!” he whined, batting at the taller’s hand.
“Whahat?” Polites snickered, moving to rest his hands on his sides again. This seemed to send him into a giggle fit.
“Poholitehes!”
“Ohodysseus!” Polites mimicked. “I’m not even doing anything!”
“I knohow!” he groaned. “It stihill tihickles!”
Eurylochus held in a laugh. “You’re that ticklish?”
Odysseus glared at his friend. “Shuhut uhup!”
“You really haven’t learned your lesson, have you?” Polites said with faux disappointment. He looked to Eurylochus before saying; “Grab his arms.”
He obeyed, having little trouble pulling them above Ody’s head.
“Noho! Ihi’m sohorry!” he pleaded, tugging on his arms.
“You know what to say when you’ve had enough~” Polites teased. He then began to slowly rake his nails up and down the length of Odysseus’ torso.
He yelped and started to squirm intensely.
“Oh my, this is getting in the way, isn’t it?” Polites pondered, talking about Ody’s shirt. “Oh well. I’ll just move it!”
With that, he pushed his shirt up to his top rib.
Polites faked a growl. “Ooooh, you know what, Ody? I’m really hungry.”
Odysseus went wide-eyed. “Nohot ahagain!”
“And I must admit, raspberries are sounding really good right now!" He sucked in a breath and blew a raspberry just below his ribs.
Odysseus screamed before falling into shrieky laughter.
After a couple more raspberries, he finally attempted to speak. “STOHOP PLEHEASE!”
Polites listened immediately, switching to hugging the future king instead. Eurylochus also released his arms, allowing him to hug the other back. At some point, Eurylochus was dragged into the pile too.
“Sorry, did we overstep?” Eury asked the second that the trio sat up.
Odysseus looked at them both darkly.
Polites paused for a second. “...Ody?”
Suddenly, Odysseus jumped at Polites with intent to pin him.
Eurylochus jumped back with a gasp, ready to stop a fight before he noticed the mischievous grin on the prince’s face. He stepped over to grab Polites’s arms the same way he did with Ody. Ody quickly sat on Polites’ waist.
“What kind of king would I be if I didn’t punish an assault on the crown?” Odysseus said. He then looked at Eurylochus. “Don’t think that just because you’re helping me now means you won’t get your punishment.”
“I figured as much,” he blushed.
“Wahait! Why me fihirst?” Polites asked, wriggling within his pin.
“You’re easier to take down.”
“Whahat ihis thahat suhupohosed to me-AHAN? OHODY!”
Odysseus had begun to claw his stomach, the same Polites had done to him just a little bit ago. “Poli!”
“Wehe weherehe ohonly cheheheering yohouhu uhup!” he defended. “Juhust lihike you ahasked uhus toho!”
“As true as that may be,” Ody started, a slight blush dusting his face and ears, “you still planned and launched an attack on royalty. The Prince of Ithaca, at that.”
Against his better judgement and any survival skills he had, Eurylochus nodded in agreement with Polites. “That is true.”
“You’re both awfully sassy for your positions, even you Eury.”
Eurylochus shrugged. “Just telling the truth.”
Odysseus stared in shock at his friend before playfully threatening him. “The more you back-talk me, the worse you’ll get it.”
His eyes widened and he puffed out his cheeks slightly, apparently not catching the teasing lilt to his voice. “Yessir.”
“Oh lighten up, will you?” he said, reaching to poke his side with one hand while moving the other to squeeze Polites’ ribs. “I’m only joking. I mean, you are still gonna get tickled, but I won’t kill you! You both should know more than anyone that I won't tickle you if I’m actually mad at you.”
Eurylochus jumped, looking away shyly but with a grin on his face. “Of course, piglet.”
The prince gasped. “Polites, I’ll finish with you later.”
In less than a second, Odysseus had Eurylochus on the ground, both wrestling for an upper hand. Eventually, Odysseus was able to take a seat on the taller’s thighs, pinning him down.
Eurylochus yelped, trying to shove him off. “I was joking! Ody!”
“Eury!” he repeated, grappling with his wrists. “Just- stop fighting me-! Eury, you’re making this a lot more difficult than it needs to be!”
“That’s the goal!” the other said, still pushing at Odysseus.
“Why? So you can delay the inevitable?”
“Or is it ‘cause you want to provoke him more?” Polites chimed in after catching his breath. He started to walk towards the pair. “Need some help, Ody?”
“Sure. Remember, the same thing goes for you that went for Eury.”
Polites scoffed, grabbing his friend's arms and hoisting them above his head. “He was so quick to turn on me, what I get out of helping you is the least of my worries.”
Eurylochus bit his lip and shrugged.
“Valid reasoning,” Odysseus agreed, starting to skitter his nails on Eury’s sides. When he didn’t give a reaction, both of the other boys frowned.
“Are you allergic to laughing when it’s not at our expense?” Polites pouted.
Eurylochus smirked before nodding.
Polites’ eye twitched. “You’re so mean!”
“Careful, I think that’s a compliment to him,” Ody joked while moving his hands to his ribs. That caused Eurylochus to snort and clench his jaw. “There’s some progress!”
A sparkle appeared in Polites’ eyes. “Come on, Eury! It’s easier to just laugh than hold it in!”
He only shook his head.
“Eury~!” Ody continued.
Another shake.
“I’m gonna move to a better spot if you don’t give up in three seconds.”
Eurylochus didn’t budge.
“Three,” Odysseus started.
“Two,” Polites added.
“One,” the prince finished.
Still nothing from the other.
Odysseus shot his hands to Eurylochus’ underarms. “What a shame.”
“NO! Ohody!” the teen gently pulled on his arms, clearly not trying to go anywhere.
“You’re so dramatic!”
Polites snickered and pinned the taller’s hands under his knees. He then started to lightly trace shapes on his arms. This managed to draw out a snort.
“Oho? Ahand I’m the piglet?” Odysseus teased, drilling into his hollows.
Eurylochus kicked his legs out, his chuckles consistent, save for a snort every now and again. “Shh!”
“I know you did not just tell me to ‘shh’!” the prince pulled his hands away and leaned over the other threateningly. “For one, you cannot be talking. You are the loudest one here right now. Second, I am your superior, in case you’ve forgotten, Eury.”
Eurylochus looked at him with fake concern. “Ohody-!”
Odysseus covered his friend’s mouth with his hand. Small giggles still escaped thanks to Polites’ tracing. “Nope. I don’t wanna hear it.”
I bet you can guess what happened next. (this is a very common theme)
“EUGH! Did you lick me?? What is with you two and licking me?” He yelped, yanking his hand back to his chest. Polites choked on a gasp, went into a coughing fit, and then started laughing like a hyena.
A small grin of triumph crept onto Eury’s face.
“Oh and you look so proud. Smug jerk!” he said with no malice behind his words. “Polites, will you let go of his arms?”
Through his giggles, he nodded and released the other. He brought his arms down quickly.
Ody laid on top of his friend and got his hands under his arms.
“Whahat are you dohoing?” Eurylochus asked, holding the prince’s wrists lightly.
He responded by sucking in a breath and blowing a raspberry on his neck while scribbling into his underarms. The taller shook his head and pushed on his friends shoulders.
“Ohody! Pleheahase!”
“I’m guessing he won’t stop unless you apologize,’ Polites said. Odysseus answered by shaking his head yes. “There.”
Eurylochus lasted less than a minute before a steady stream of apologies could be heard from the teen.
The prince let up almost immediately, still laying on the boy. “You okay?”
“Yeheah.”
He whispered so Polites couldn’t hear, “Good, ‘cause we still gotta get Poli.”
They both smirked, Ody climbing off so they could both sit up.
Polites glanced at the two suspiciously. When Odysseus stood up, he started backing away in a way that he thought was discrete.
“Where ya going, Polites?” Eurylochus asked, following in suit of the future king.
“Oh, y’know, away from you,” he said, finally turning and booking it through the doorway.
“Poli!” Ody yelled, chasing after him immediately with Eury tailing him.
“No!” he responded, rounding a corner and shoving past a girl with pretty blonde hair. “Sorry!”
The girl looked taken aback, noticing the other two boys running towards her just in time to step out of the way.
“Sorry!” The two got out as they followed the other. She shook her head in response.
After a couple more minutes of running, Polites found himself headed to a dead end. He muttered a curse under his breath and stopped right in front of a wall. When Eurylochus and Odysseus caught up to him, he spun around and covered his torso.
“Hey guys…!”
“You ran,” Odysseus started, stepping closer to the cornered teen, “halfway around the palace, and all you have to say is ‘Hey guys’?”
“Uh, well,” he nervously laughed, backing into the wall. “It’s a survival instinct?”
“Polites, oh my gosh,” Odysseus fought a snicker, “You’re acting like we’re gonna hurt you. It won’t kill you to laugh a bit.”
He shook his head. “It might.”
Without warning, Ody launched himself at his friend and tried to take him to the ground. “Let’s find out then, yeah?”
“No!” He yelped, shoving at the other. “No no no! I don’t agree with this!”
“Relax, will you?” He rolled his eyes, finally getting Polites pinned.
Eurylochus walked over as well. “It’s only fair.”
“You already got me!”
Odysseus scoffed. “‘You already got me’” he mimicked in a high-pitched voice. “Don’t even start with that.”
There was a small giggle that he assumed came from Polites.
“Shut up!”
“You just don’t learn, do you?” the prince sighed, picking up where he left off on his ribs. The smaller immediately fell into frantic giggles.
He shook his head and grabbed the others wrists.
“No? You don’t learn?” he teased, attempting to shake off his wrists while still scribbling on his ribs. “At least you’re honest.”
Not letting go of his wrists, he called out; “Ohohdy!”
“Poli!” he mocked. “Will you let go of my wrists?”
Polites thought for a second before letting go and grabbing his sides. Odysseus yelped and switched to grabbing his friends wrists. Polites quickly began to squeeze, causing the teen to fall to the side and onto his back.
“Poli- noho!”
He tried to climb onto Ody’s waist to pin him, but Eurylochus grabbed him and pulled him back to the ground.
“Yeah, no. Doing that will only make this worse for you.” Eurylochus said, sitting on Polites’ thighs. Once Odysseus caught his breath, he crawled to his friends.
“That, my friend, was not smart at all.” he laughed, grabbing his arms and pulling them above his head.
“Ihi’m sorry!” He yelped when Eurylochus pinched his side. Said boy grinned and continued to pinched and prod at his sides.
“No you’re not! Lying deserves to be punished, y’know,” Ody said, skittering his nails on the smaller’s neck. His head, in turn, shook side to side as he twisted and turned in their hold.
“It wahas aha reheflehex!”
Odysseus rolled his eyes and switched to raking his nails up and down his arms teasingly. “Uh-huh.”
Polites tugged on his arms half-heartedly. His giggles went softer and he turned his head to hide in his shoulder.
“Awe, don’t hide from us, Poli!” Eurylochus sing-songed. “Don’t be shy!”
“Ihihit tihickles!” he said, shutting his eyes.
“Oh really? I never would’ve guessed!” Odysseus cooed sarcastically.
“Especially with how much you’re laughing,” Eurylochus joined.
Polites shook his head even more. There was another, higher-pitched giggle that did not sound like Polites.
Odysseus immediately paused his attack, his heart dropping. Eurylochus followed in suit.
“Who’s there?” He called out, standing up and grabbing a practice sword from the nearby shelf. Polites propped himself up on his elbows, still giddy, while Eurylochus climbed off.
The blonde girl from earlier stepped into view from around the corner. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to spy.”
Polites flushed, realizing that she had been watching that whole interaction.
Odysseus tossed the wooden sword aside, sighing in relief. He softened his tone before saying; “What were you doing, then?
The girl looked at the ground bashfully. “I heard a yell and came to make sure everything was okay. Then I saw you three roughhousing and… I guess it was just intriguing. I’m really sorry.”
“That’s alright,” Eurylochus answered quickly. Out of nowhere, a brunette girl came running around the corner.
Odysseus, who had turned to face Eurylochus, didn’t notice her. She jumped on his back and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He yelped before catching her legs so they were in a piggy-back position. “Gosh, Ctimene! You can’t scare me like that.” He said, dropping her gently.
“Sorry! I see you met Penelope,” she grinned, poking his spine.
“Penelope, huh?” Odysseus smiled.
Penelope nodded.
“Well, it was lovely to meet you, even if you - both of you -” He cut in, poking his sister’s side, “scared me half to death. However, this rascal still needs to be punished, so I need to get back to that.”
Ctimene’s eyes lit up. “Two questions; Can we help? And why does he need to be punished?”
The prince flushed. “I suppose you can. And he helped to plan and carry out an attack on royalty.”
The younger furrowed her brows before smirking evilly. She pulled on his arm repeatedly. “What did they do, Ooody~?”
He shoved her away playfully. “Ctimene!”
“Whahat? It’s an innocent question!”
Eurylochus, who apparently loved to embarrass his friend, chimed in. “In case it isn’t obvious by the means of retribution he’s using, we tickled him.”
“Eury!” He yelped, face growing red.
Both girls giggled, Ctimene reaching forward to tweak his ribs. He grabbed her wrist, making a strangled noise.
Polites cleared his throat. “So… uh, are we done here?”
Odysseus, grateful for the distraction, jumped at him. This sent them into a wrestling match for the upper hand.
The other three watched them while trying not to laugh.
Suddenly there was a yelp from both teens at the same time. They were two different pitches, as if they were trying to harmonize. Why, you ask? Eurylochus and Ctimene separated the two after a silent agreement, Ctimene grabbing her brother and Eurylochus grabbing Polites. They both sat on their captive waists.
Penelope giggled, still keeping her distance out of nervousness.
Odysseus’ eyes went wide, fighting against his sister. “No- Not again!” Ctimene laughed at his panic, though it was obvious she was struggling to keep him down.
“Penelope, will you help me?”
Penelope tilted her head before nodding timidly. She moved to sit by his torso. As soon as she grabbed his arms to pull them up, he didn’t tug on them out of fear of hurting or scaring her. He still tried to buck Ctimene off though.
Polites, on the other hand, didn’t get any chance to fight thanks to Eurylochus immediately digging into his stomach. He barked out a laugh and tried to push his hands away, failing miserably.
“EUHUREHEY!” he screamed.
“There’s no need to yell, I’m right here.”
Polites groaned through his cackles, throwing his head back.
Penelope grouped his wrists together gently, holding them in one hand above his chest. Ctimene rolled her eyes at her brother not fighting Penelope.
She placed her hands on his ribs, not doing anything yet. He clenched his jaw, refusing to let any noises escape.
“Ody~ I’m not gonna do anything until you tell me to.”
This was a common thing that happened between the two. Both of them used this trick whenever they got the upper hand in their sibling squabbles. They wouldn’t tickle the other until they told them to. Sometimes they would make the other tell them where to tickle them too. Normally, Odysseus would’ve told her to “get it over with already”, but he seemed adamant on not saying a word.
“Odysseus. You can’t stay silent forever~”
He shook his head, squirming under the two girls’ gaze.
“Ody, come on. If you don’t tell me when, I’m gonna make you say where too.”
Penelope shot her a quizzical look. Ctimene smirked, more than happy to fluster her brother.
“This is normal, don’t worry. Usually, he tells me to start pretty quickly, even if he has to choose where. I guess he’s embarrassed ‘cause he wants to look cool in front of you.”
Odysseus made a strangled noise in his throat. His face began to look like a tomato with how much he was blushing. Penelope laughed sweetly.
Polites threw his body from side to side, trying to get Eurylochus’ hand off of him. Although, he didn’t really want it to stop.
“Eheuhurehehy!” He giggled out, kicking his legs lightly to release some energy.
“Yes, Poli?”
“Ihit tihickles!”
“Oh yeah? That’s insane Polites.”
“Ihihi’m gohonnaha dihie!” he groaned, pushing on Euryochus’ shoulders.
Eurylochus rolled his eyes. “You won’t die. But… if you’re feeling that way, maybe some medicine would help?”
Polites glanced up at him skeptically. “Whahat kihihind ohof mehedihicihine?”
“Raspberry?”
Polites gasped. “Wahait! Ihi neheehed a breheahatheher!!”
Eurylochus immediately backed off. “Are you okay?”
“Yehes,” he looked at the ground shyly. “Yohou cahan start again ihin a minute…”
The other smiled warmly, excited that Polites trusted him enough to say that. He was still gonna tease him though. “Awe, Poli! Do you like this?”
“Shuhut uhup!” He said with exasperation. He was pretty worried that Eury was judging him for not disliking it.
“Relax. I think it’s cute!” He leaned in closer to whisper to his friend. “You’re not the only one, by the way. Ody obviously likes it too.”
Polites laughed at that remark. “Do you?”
Eurylochus chuckled nervously. “Uhh…-maybe-. Have you caught your breath yet?”
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you,” he teased.
“So you have. Good!” He rushed out, avoiding the question. He lifted the other’s shirt and sucked in a breath dramatically before blowing a raspberry on his stomach.
Polites yelled out a giggly “no!”, shoving Eurylochus’ head lightly.
Eurylochus kept blowing more and more raspberries, placing them in different spots around his stomach. This elicited cackles from the near-sighted teen.
“Ody, I’m gonna give you three seconds to tell me to start. If you don’t, you’re choosing the spot, and it has to be a bad one.” Ctimene said, getting tired of the silent treatment.
Odysseus shook his head.
“Three… two…O-”’
She was interrupted by a rushed out, “Just start!”
“Finally.”
With that, she dug into his ribs, drawing out a short yelp and some chuckles. The longer she had kept this up, the harder it was getting to not fight Penelope for his arms’ freedom.
“Pehen-Pehenelohope!” he began, fighting every instinct to yank his arms down.
She jumped at hearing her name. “Yes?”
He racked his brain to find a way to explain without seeming pathetic. He ended up just saying; “Aharms!”
She got confused before realizing that he was starting to pull more on her hold. “Oh!” She laughed a bit, pushing his arms to the floor above his head. She then crawled to be above his head as well, pinning his arms under her knees, and in turn, his head ending up in her lap.
He blushed profusely, turning his face away. Penelope thought it was cute, noticing how his nose scrunched up and his eyes were shut tight. She idly traced shapes on his shoulders, which, much to the prince’s dismay, caused him to snort.
Ctimene cackled. “I forgot you snorted! Yohou’re like a pihiglet!”
Eurylochus paused his raspberries to agree. “That’s what I said!” He went back to his previous action right after speaking.
Odysseus winced. “Yohouhu cahanohot be tahalking! Bohoth ohof yohouhu!”
Ctimene glanced at Eury. “You snort?”
He went red, ignoring the question and therefore making the answer obvious.
“Good to know…”
After a couple more minutes of the light-ish tickles, Ctimene stopped abruptly.
“Do you wanna see something really funny?”
“Sure!” Penelope answered, also relenting.
“Okay! Will you let his arms go for a second?”
Odysseus knew immediately what was coming. “NO! No! Ctimene, you know I love you rihight?”
Ctimene smirked. “Of course I do. You’re not getting out of this, though.”
“Buhut- But ihi’ve ahalreheady had to suhuffer this today! Please!”
She pretended to consider, but seeing the giddy smile on his face, she decided she didn’t care. “Nope. You’re going through this again.”
Penelope released his arms and Ctimene rolled him over, which was much easier than she thought it would be. She sat on the backs of his thighs, taking notice of how his shirt had ridden up.
“Ready?” She asked both Penelope and Odysseus. Penelope nodded and Odysseus groaned loudly, shoving his face into his arms, which were folded above his head. He was too tired to bring them down.
Polites frantically slapped the floor, hysterical laughter still pouring from his lips. He couldn’t get words out and his cackles were getting wheezy.
Eurylochus stopped, switching to lightly rubbing his stomach in hopes of helping. “Sorry, you okay?”
Polites was still giggling, the rubbing was not helping. “Yehes.”
“Did I overstep?”
Of course he’d ask that first thing. Ever the worrier. “Noho, you’re ohokay.”
Eurylochus looked unsure, studying the teen. “Are you sure? You’re still giggling an awful lot.”
“Yohour hahand,” he managed, not pushing him away or trying to stop him.
“You’re actually adorable,” he teased without meaning to. (Platonic!!!)
“Behe quiehet!”
Eurylochus laughed at the weak shout. “Whatever.”
Ctimene spidered across his back with both hands, grinning triumphantly when he wheezed and fell into boyish laughter. He didn’t have the energy to fight back, so he just laid there. He could feel eyes on him, but had no clue who the eyes belonged to.
“Ctihimehene!” He protested weakly, turning his face towards Penelope without realizing.
“Don’t even, we can all tell you don’t mind that much.” She started. “Plus, I have one more thing to do, then I’ll be done, okay?”
She pushed his shirt up and blew three or four raspberries on his spine before letting up.
“Did I kill you?” She asked, flipping him onto his back, his head landing in Penelope’s lap again.
In response, he stuck his tongue out and made a little blegh noise. Playing dead for his little sister, forgetting completely about Penelope.
“Ohody! Yohou’re so stuhupid!” Ctimene giggled, lightly punching his stomach.
When he opened his eyes to retort, all he saw was Penelope leaning over him with a wide smile and beautiful eyes. Any words he was about to say turned to mush as he stared at her.
“Eww stop looking at each other like that!” Ctimene said, pulling her brother’s legs to yank him off of Penelope. He sat up and shoved her over onto her back.
“For one, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Second, you’re going to pay for that, sis,” he explained, scribbling over top of her sides and rib cage. She bursted into giggles.
Polites, who finally told Eurylochus to stop, sat up and laughed at the siblings.
“You two are so childish!” he cooed.
Odysseus shot him a glare. “Don’t forget that you started this! If anything, you’re the childish one.”
Penelope and Eurylochus laughed at the pair.
And the best part? Odysseus was no longer stressing about becoming king the next day. All he could focus on was laughter, no matter who’s it was.
Summary: after Odysseus returns home at last, with his whole fleet in tow, he finds out that the suitors have been trying to court his wife and have been mischief makers around the palace, and he decides an unconventional way to get revenge.
A/N: in case it isn’t clear, this is more directed towards my no one dies au!! Everyone makes it home alive and Odysseus is still a monster- but! A tickle monster. This is a more wholesome version of the song Odysseus from the Ithaca saga!! Also, I wanted the title to be ‘the return of the ruthless king’ but it was too long, so I had to decide between ‘the ruthless king’ or ‘the return of the king’, and I went with the former. (I thought I’d mention all my title options so ya’ll could see them.) also, I wasn’t originally gonna use the birthday stuff, but I ended up adding it cause it just makes the plot flow better. anyway, With all that being said, enjoy!! :D
(P.S: don’t mind continuity errors I couldn’t figure out a way to make it all work. I just wanted a fun, happy fic okay?!?!)
The ruthless king
Antinous was plotting.
What, you may ask? Well, he was at a table with the suitors. It was Telemachus’ birthday, and as a gift, they wanted to cause a touch of mischief among the palace. They wanted to have a surprise party, and during it wanted to start a massive tickle fight- one that would ensure their victory, for fun. So they were coming up with a battle strategy.
“Okay, here’s the plan!” Antinous started, a playful undercurrent to his deep voice. “Telemachus is coming back from his mission today! so we’re gonna wait at the beach- and as soon as he steps on the sand: BOOM! We’re gonna tickle attack him! At the same time, we’ll have some people on the inside setting up his birthday party!”
A chorus of mischievous giggles rose from the crowd.
“You guys are gonna hold him down so I can get free range on all his tickle spots! I can’t wait to make the little prince laugh his heart out! And then once he’s all giggled out, we’ll bring him in to his surprise party! He’s gonna love it!”
“Heheh- that sounds like fun!” “Let’s do it!” “Yeah!” The suitors all responded, and Antinous did a gesture to silence them.
“There’s more-“ as soon as the words were said, they all hushed to listen. “After Telemachus is taken down, he’ll be too tired to defend his mom! Then we can go to her room and surprise her with tickles too!”
“Wooo!” “Yeah!” More cheers. More laughter.
As the suitors continued to merrily talk and strategize, mentally preparing for a fun game- little did they know that the fleet containing the kings crew had returned. Most of the fleet was surrounding the palace and catching up, a few of the crew members came in the palace with Odysseus. Odysseus himself took place in the back of the crowd, looking at Antinous with a mischievous glare.
“Let’s do this! Channel your inner child, have fun and- AHA-!” He let out a surprised bark of laughter as he suddenly felt an onslaught of tickles on his neck.
“Ahaha- whahahat thehehe-!”
Odysseus chuckled, and his friends and crew members watched on, preparing for the game that was about to take place.
“You were saying?” He taunted, but didn’t allow Antinous to respond before continuing. “20 years I was gone, struggling through trials and tribulations, working myself to the bone to keep my crew alive. And I return to hear that you planned on ambushing my son and wife? Let’s turn the tables, then.”
“Wahait, nohoho-! Ahaha-! Stohohop ihit!”
“Nah, not yet. You’re the leader, I gotta get you real good. Besides, you planned a birthday party for my son! Without me!”
“Well it would’ve been nice for you to at least make an invitation! It’s the thought that counts!”
Odysseus continued to assault Antinous’ neck and ears with tickles, making him scrunch up and have bubbly giggles fall from his chest, uncharacteristically bubbly and high pitched.
“Wahahait, kihihing-! Ahahahaha-!”
“Wait for what, exactly?”
“Ihi- ihi duhunno!”
“Then I guess I should just keep going.”
“Nohohooo- plehehehHEASE-!”
Odysseus smirked, starting to nibble at Antinous neck, using his beard to make it tickle even more.
“NomNOMNOM! The tickle monster is gonna eat you up!”
“Ihi aham nohot aha CHIHILD-!” The suitor protested, squirming to try and get away from the feeling.
“Well, your giggles say otherwise.”
“Dehehear king plehehehease-! Ihihi cahahahant breheheheathe-!”
With that, Odysseus stopped and pulled back. “You are now declared as ‘dead.’” He spoke playfully, tapping lightly on the suitors nose as he caught his breath.
“And all of you are on my hit list.” He pointed at the other suitors, smirking. Hearing this, they all bolted, scattering around the palace and stifling giggles of anticipation.
Footsteps echoed along the floors of the palace, and the suitors noticed that the light started to get dimmer, a giddy dread infiltrating the hearts of each of them.
“In the dear kings castle, in the foyer of his home-“ one suitor started, (you can see it as speaking or singing whichever floats your boat.) only to be cut off by another. “Somewhere in the shadows I hear a playful father’s tone!”
Another responded, “we have the advantage! We’ve the numbers and the might!”
The second suitor replied back, a giddy panic in his voice. “No! You don’t understand it, this man plans for every fight! EEK-!” He was cut off by a screech as Odysseus squeezed his sides, proclaiming this suitor as ‘dead’ as well.
It’s funny, even though they didn’t have to, all the suitors obeyed the rules of this game the king had started. Once declared dead, they went back to the dining hall and started talking with the crew that had been gone rather than trying to keep playing the massive tickle fight. It was an excuse to be playful, to have fun, and they felt the need to obey by the rules like how a child takes the rules seriously.
The suitors still in, though, were running away and trying to find their stash of presents-hoping to find they’re prince and do the gift exchange, in hopes that the king would spare them-and panicking as they couldn’t find them, and couldn’t see where Odysseus was hiding, either.
“Where is he, where ihis hehe!?” One spoke, a few giggles of giddy dread slipping into the words. Another suitor pushed him down, shushing him.
“Keep the noise down he’s following our voices!”
“The presents! They’re missing!”
“He’s using the darkness to hide his approaches!”
“We’re empty handed, up against a father. Our only chance is find the prince before him!” The suitor implied attacking the prince before the king could get them all, and also briefly mentioned doing the gifts.
“We know these halls, the odds can be tilted!”
“You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!” Odysseus voice suddenly rung out teasingly, followed by frantic giggles as he attacked one of the suitors in this group, pronouncing them dead as well.
The rest ran away, joining another group as they looked for the presents.
Meanwhile, one of the suitors, Eurymachus, was looking around and talking to the king (despite not being able to see him), suppressing the giggles in his voice to try and sound composed.
“Dear king, our leader’s upset! Ever since the prince has fled! But the rest of us still want to go ahead!”
Odysseus smirked as Eurymachus tried to call a truce, listening from the shadows.
“Dear king please lead us instead! So that no more ‘tears’ are shed! Let’s do the gift exchange instead!”
“Later!” Odysseus teased, squeezing Eurymachus’ knees and gently guiding him to the ground as his knees buckled. He then declared him dead, as well.
Returning to the previous group, they had found the presents in the laundry room, and were getting ready to have some fun with the prince.
“Damn… he’s more cunning than we assumed! While we were busy plotting he hid the presents inside this room!” Amphinoumus, another suitor, made a faux ‘upset’ tone. Then Melanthius replied, skeptical.
“I find it hard to believe that the sharpest of kings left this single room unlocked!”
“So what? Now that we’ve finally found the gifts, let’s make this party rock-!”
“Is that the prince-?!” Amphinomus got cut off by Melanthius, as Telemachus attacked him from behind, making him burst out laughing before being declared as dead as well. (Don’t ask who, but someone had informed Telemachus of the game. Not the party though, they wanted that to remain a surprise.)
“I got him! I mean- of course I got him haha..” Telemachus spoke, not sounding confident whatsoever, even with Athena’s invisible presence guiding him. He then cleared his throat, and spoke again.
“Put down those presents! And you thieves will be spared!”
“Don’t you know these gifts are for you, from us?! We wouldn’t dare!” Melanthius replied, trying to sound stern as a way to get in character, but failing miserably, his voice still holding a playful, giddy energy.
“Well I don’t believe you! So trust me, you’re going nowhere!”
“Ha! Your very presence has helped us all young prince! We don’t fight fair~” Melanthius sung in reply, teasingly wiggling his fingers at the prince.
“S-stop!” Telemachus protested feebly, blushing at the teasing gesture.
“Brothers it’s the birthday boy, on his very special day! Left the laundry room unlocked, and now it’s time to play!” As Melanthius spoke to his fellow suitors, there was an undeniable sense of excitement and playfulness in his voice, as he gestured to the pillows and other soft, fluffy objects nearby. “Brothers, come and arm yourselves, there’s a chance for us to win! We can still impress the king if we all befriend the prince!”
That made Telemachus pause. “Wait- what?”
The suitors chanted, lead my Melanthius. “where is he! Where is he!”
“After him he’s our greatest chance!” They all piled around the prince, starting to use their various objects to tickle him, fluttering behind his knees, squeezing his sides, anything they could think of to make him collapse into laughter.
“Gehehet ohoff mehehe-! Hahahaha- gehehet ohoff mehehe!” Telemachus spoke through his happy giggles, trying to push the suitors off of him to no avail.
“Make him laugh till he can barely stand!”
“Hold em down! Hold em down!” The other suitors echoed.
“Make the king proud of all our plans!”
“Hold em down! Hold em down!”
“And once we’re friends we can all go and dance!” Melanthius smiled as they saw that Telemachus was too trapped to put up a fight.(and too giggly.) “got him.”
Melanthius barely got the words out before he was cut off by his own laughter. “Whahahahat-!?”
Odysseus had snuck up behind him, and seperated him from the rest of them, starting to tickle his belly relentlessly.
“Meheheheheercy-! Meheheheherccyyyy!” Melanthius called, earning a teasing grin from the king.
“Mercy? Mercy?! No, no, I don’t think so! You deserve this!” He declared Melanthius as dead, before turning to the rest of the suitors, seemingly everywhere at once as he gave each of them a ticklish poke.[A/N: I know this isn’t the lyrics/accurate in the parody leave me alone]
Soon after, all the suitors were declared as dead, and then they all accompanied Telemachus to the dining hall, where everyone had gathered.
Telemachus walked in, and was surprised to see decorations and toys and tons of other birthday things, including a massive cake with candles that said ‘20’.
Everyone in the dining hall, those already there from losing or preparing, and those just entering, shouted. “SURPRISE!”
Telemachus grew a large grin. “Awww, guys! This is so sweet!” He then turned to his dad.
“And you know, although I’m sure all these gifts are great, you returning will be probably be my favorite one!” He hugged his dad tight, and then, feeling a little mischievous, Odysseus gave his son a few side pokes of his own, earning half hearted swats and gleeful giggles. “Dahahahad!”
Odysseus didn’t continue, just chuckling as he led him to the seat at the head of the table where the cake was placed.
“Happy birthday, kiddo.”
“Best! Birthday! EVER!”
Laughter rung out once again, and the palace was filled with cheerful celebrations for the rest of the night, as people talked and caught up after 20 long years, laughing and having fun. Together.
