Day 13: Sneak Attack
Arin and Dan are doing Game Grumps together, playing Tears of the Kingdom. Arin takes his time building a cool vehicle to show off to Dan, who goes to the bathroom. When will Dan come into the Grumps room again?
*sigh* I need to set reminders on my phone or something. Whatever...Game Grumps is now on my list of YouTubers. I hope you enjoy!
Moved Link around to show off the pile of parts. “Okay. I have Zonaite parts out the wazoo, and I’m going to make the ultimate car.” Arin explained.
“Hold on, I gotta pee.” Dan said, before getting up.
“What?! B-but-” Arin whined.
“Use this time to make your car. I’ll be right back.” Dan told him before walking away from the mic and leaving the room. You could hear the door close in the background while Arin moved Link closer to the collection of crap.
Arin sighed and started to move Link around the landscape, using the Zonai arm to put pieces together to make a vehicle of some sort. What he was making…no one could be entirely sure. Not even Arin could comprehend what he was coming up with. All he knew was that he was taking Zonaite vehicle parts and crumpling them together into a flying, driving thing with rockets and batteries and…anything else he had in his inventory. He had everything here, he just needed to turn it into something that drives, steers and flies.
The truth is, Arin kinda just threw some things into the middle and hoped it would turn into something awesome. And while it kinda was, it…also wasn’t at the same time. He added 4 big wheels to the vehicle to make it look like a dollar store monster truck, before adding about 6 fans on top of each other on the back…before adding a pole of wood to the middle to put a Zonaite wing onto it.
With the zonaite wing placed on top, Link collected planks of wood and put them together to make a larger plank of wood. The way he glued them together, made the plank look glued together off center…almost like a child was playing Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. Which…lets face it: Arin is a giant child.
With that, he set up a ramp on the end of the cliff. His plan was to activate the zonaite vehicle and make it jump the ramp and glide itself down to the ground below. It was risky and a little stupid even for Arin…but god dammit, he was gonna try it.
Due to having no more room in the vehicle, Arin decided to add a battery to the top of the zonaite wing in an attempt to give him an endless battery. Though he knew this was stupid and it was going to make his vehicle fall as a result of gravity, he needed the battery to make sure it keeps flying and doesn’t fall like the rest of his contraptions have up until this point. He needed this vehicle to last him a bit longer than 10 minutes.
With that figured out, it would seem that the vehicle was ready. Arin turned the vehicle around and dropped it to the ground to test it out. He summoned a steering stick and added the stick to the front, before hopping onto the car. It looked like a toddler’s rendition of a golf cart…only this ‘golf cart’ was equipped with monster wheels.
He pulled out a weapon and hit the zonaite fans, causing the zonaite parts to turn on. Soon, the vehicle started moving really fast really quickly.
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit-” He steered the vehicle around a boulder, nearly scraping the side of the vehicle against the boulder. “Come on.” He straightened out Link’s driving, and attempted to maneuver himself through the forest. But the steering was too slow compared to the speed it was going at. As a result, he kept bumping into trees and rocks, before finally parking the vehicle against a boulder.
Despite the lack of steering options, the vehicle he had coupled together in 5 minutes, was working surprisingly well. With this test run successful, he decided the vehicle was ready for co-host viewing.
As much as he wanted to drive his vehicle back to the right area, Arin feared he may end up breaking the vehicle or sending it flying, breaking it in the process. And he didn’t want to break his precious vehicle before Dan got to feast his eyes on it! So, Arin hopped out of the car and grabbed the vehicle with Link’s magical hand ability. Despite it taking longer, Arin made Link carry it all the way back to the plank of wood he had set up earlier before placing it down to the ground.
While he waited for Dan to come back, Arin added more Zonai batteries, so he didn’t have to worry about the vehicle running out of Zonai energy while he’s up in the air. Cause let’s face it: Dan and the entire audience are well aware of how quick Arin’s plans will fail solely based on the contraptions’ lack of Zonai energy. So filling up on them was very much needed.
“Bah!” Someone said breathlessly, grabbing his shoulders.
“FAHCK-?!” Arin jumped, dropping the controller in the process.
Dan bursted out laughing as he went around the couch, picking up Arin’s controller off the floor and pausing the game. “Did I really get ya?!” Dan asked.
“Yeah, you-...Wha-” Arin looked at Dan as he sat down, confused as to why he paused the game. But his confusion vanished the moment he felt fingers against his sides and ribs. “HeheHAHAHAHA- WHOHO-”
“Surprise!” Suzy declared beside him, tickling up and down his sides.
“SUHUHUZYHY?!” Arin reacted. He felt his arm be pulled back so he was laying back down again. “WHAHA-”
“What’s so funny, Arin?” Dan asked, trying to tickle his armpits.
“YOU AHAHASSHOHOHOLE!” Arin yelled.
“Suzy, do you know why Arin’s laughing?” Dan asked curiously.
“Sorry, I’m as in the dark as you are.” Suzy replied.
“IHIHI’M GOHONNA KIHIHIHILL YOHOHOHOU TWOOHOHOHOOO!” Arin yelled at them.
“Kill us?!” Dan gasped. “Arin!” He looked at Suzy. “Can you believe this guy?!”
“He wants to kill us! And I am offended!” She reacted, squishing his belly playfully.
“Do you think the lovelies know why he’s laughing? Maybe they can provide some clues.” Dan asked.
“By the time we find out from the viewers, Arin will be over his laughing fit.” Suzy replied.
“FAHAHAHAHAHACK!” Arin shouted, wiggling around helplessly on the couch.
“Hey editor, do you know why Arin’s laughing?” Dan asked.
A little commentary from the editor showed up on the screen.
[No, I have no idea.]
“Thanks editor.” Dan said next.
Suzy waved for Dan to stop tickling Arin. “Okay, you stop.” She said. She gave Dan both of Arin’s wrists, and made him grip them. “Grab these.” She told him.
“Okay. What are you-”
She gasped. “PPPPFFFFBBBBBFFFBBBFBFBFBBBFFBTTT!” She blew a large raspberry onto her husband’s belly.
Arin squealed and squeezed his eyes shut. “NAHAHAHAHAHA! SUHUZYHY! YOUBAHAHAHAHA-”
“Now now, choose your words carefully.” Suzy warned with a smirk.
Arin’s laughter lessened to giggles somewhat slowly. “Yohou…You…Two suhuhuhuck.” He told them. “Like a vacuum?” Dan asked. “Or like a black hole?” He asked next.
“Oh! Maybe like a straw!” Suzy exclaimed with excitement.
“Or a leaf blower put on suction mode!” Dan joked.
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Arin yelled as he sat up and rolled himself forward again. “For context, Dan and Suzy had pulled a fuckin’ sneaky tickle attack on me. And I vow to get them both back for that eventually.” Arin told the soon-to-be audience. “But for now:” Arin unpaused the game and pointed to the vehicle. “I wanna show you the vehicle.” Arin said. “Suzy, do you wanna see it too?” Arin asked.
“Sure!” She replied, sitting beside Arin.
“Show me the goods.” Dan said.
Arin made Link hit the fans, causing all the Zonai parts to work together at the same time. “Here we GOOO!” Arin shouted.
“Oh god that’s fast-” Dan reacted, widening his eyes as the Zonai vehicle flew off the ramp and started to fly.
Suzy threw her fists in the air and clapped her hands. “YES! Go Link!”
“Wow! Arin, I’m impressed!” Dan reacted, smiling brightly.
Arin smiled and began to bow in-person. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.” He said. “Except for Wednesday, because that’s my ‘eat-taco-bell-and-scream-with-pain-from-explosive-diarrhea’ day.” Arin replied.
“Arin…” Dan sighed. “Don’t ruin it.”
“Soar off into the sun, Link!” Suzy declared.
“And then BURN to a crisp on the surface of the sun.” Dan replied. “And then respawn in the same spot you had started at.” Dan added with a laugh.
“Shut up, shut up.” Arin told them. “Listen…”
Dan and Suzy went silent as they listened. The only sounds they could hear was the in-game wind and the Zonai energy usage overtop of the breathtaking soundtrack. It was quite beautiful, actually. Really soothing to the average ear.
“Okay, you can talk.” Arin said.
“Well now I don’t want to.” Dan admitted. “I’m just enjoying the ride.”
“How many batteries did you add?” Suzy asked.
“6 batteries.” Arin said. “We’ve got energy for days.” He said.
Dan smiled and patted Arin’s shoulder. “Gotta hand it to you, you made a great vehicle.” Dan said. “What’s its name?” Dan asked.
“Well…I think I’m gonna call it…The Butt Chugger 9000.” Arin giggled. “Or, Butt Chugger for short.”
Dan bursted out laughing.
“Wanna know how I came up with it?” Arin asks.
Dan nodded. “Suhure, tell me.” Dan replied.
“Well…” Arin looks at Dan with pure confidence on his face…before dropping the facade and whispering. “I…actually didn’t really know what I-”
Dan laughed again. “Ohohoho my god…” He slowly calmed himself down. “Ihi love it. But I have to know if this puppy can glide.” Dan mentioned.
“Oh, it can glide alright.” Arin replied proudly. “Show me, Arin.” Dan said, sounding unconvinced. “Show me it can fly.” Dan said.
“Alright, I will.” Arin made Link hit the Zonai fans, to turn off the Zonai equipment. “See? It’s a beautiful, gliding machi-” “It’s falling, Arin.” Dan said quickly. “It’s falling fahahAHAHAHAST! OHOHO SHIT!” Arin cackled.
Dan covered his mouth. “FULL SPEED AHEAD!”
“BUHUTT CHUGGER NO!” Arin yelled through his laughter.
They screamed and freaked out all the way up until the vehicle bounced against the ground, knocking Link off the vehicle and killing him instantly from both the impact and the ejection. The [GAME OVER] screen showed up as the trio laughed their heads off at the stupid death.
This was SO worth it.