real talk
i saw a post on here about how people who are depressed/suicidal and are younger than 18 often lack motivation because they are under the impression that they dont need to plan for a future that they wont have
and im like that
like for a while i was almost sure i’d kill myself before i turned 18 but now that im a few days away from being 17 my opinions are changing and the age is getting higher and now its “well im sure i’ll be dead by 20″
i cant bring myself to care about school or jobs or monetary situations or stuff like that because i feel like its worthless planning for a future that i wont take part in
so i guess @anyone whos going through the same thing or has been through the same thing
how do i stop thinking like that
i dont want to live past 18 or 20 but i know im too pussy to do anything about it and i wanna be able to actually plan for the future and take things seriously without thinking of killing myself as a way out of every little inconvenience
or do i just need to get used to it??? im pretty used to feeling suicidal by now
its just that im really close to being 17 and therefore closer to being 18 and it feels really surreal like im really expecting to just drop dead at some point and then all my responsibilities will be gone
??????????