My good friend is in a verbally abusive relationship. He tells her she's stupid, she doesn't have the balls to leave him, and he won't go to therapy. They've broken up, she always comes back. Her family and I have told her that verbal abuse is no different than him putting his hands on her but she insists he always makes up for it and my concern is beginning to strain our friendship. I try to support her happiness but he's killing her self esteem and I only see it getting worse. What do I do??
Perhaps you could change her mind if you could find articles on abuse or accounts of people who have gotten out of similar relationships. Some people have a hard time accepting that they’re being abused until they hear about others who have been in similar situations. It might be easy for her to think “my friends and family don’t know him like I do so they don’t understand,” but if she hears about people who have dealt with the same type of abuse she may take their words more seriously.
Other than that I’m not sure what you can do. If she’s not a minor then her parents can’t force him to stay away from her. As painful as it may be to watch her go through this, the most you can do is support her if she needs you and try your best to show her that she is indeed suffering abuse. Whether she chooses to believe you or not, and whether she chooses to leave him, are entirely up to her. Unfortunately it can be very difficult for abuse victims to accept that they’re being abused, and it may take her a long time and a lot of convincing to finally rid herself of him.
