#lettersfromdamon

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: New Book

I know it has been a while since I wrote in this dear journal but I have been quite occupied with things especially since I decided to start letting things go and starting over. Yes Amerie and I are still going strong. Never been happier with anyone ever but she is just different. 

Anyways this entry is not about how amazing my relationship is but it is about me entering a brand new leaf, a new book entirely. My time with Amerie has taught me so much and I’ve decided that I’m putting up with things that could potentially bring me back to the monster I once was but didn’t mean to be; so here I am moving on and starting entirely over. Cara had told me that I need to stay in this great place that I’m at and that she’s never seen me so happy. Honestly I agree and I just want to keep being happy. 

That being said I have decided to just start over, make more/new friends, keep the good ones of course, keep being happy, soon move in with Cara and Amerie and just be happy. God willing I am going to keep it all up, no longer be dark or monstrous but be better overall happily me. Everyday I’m grateful to have Cara & Amerie in my life, I cherish them so much and I’m glad God sent these angels to always be with me. I know Cara and I have been best friends since the beginning of high school and Amerie and I have been dating for 6 months but to be honest, those two are just key, heck even important. I love them both very much and I hope I have them around as they are as long as I live. Great people are hard to come by but when you find them, you best hang on! As for this jeep doing better thing, well I’ve got life goals that I want to accomplish and by Gods grace I hope to accomplish them all. So goodbye to once was and hello to what should’ve been but is finally here. Good vibes always

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Love Does Exist

For those who know me, Damon Santiago, I always believed that love doesn’t exist. I always thought it was a myth, a fairy tale, a story, an extinction of an unknown thing. 

This my friends is where Amerie comes in. For those who knows her, knows exactly what I’m talking about. For those who don’t know her, she’s just the love of my life. The most greatest thing that has ever happened to me. She is my love, my queen, my diamond. Why do I bring her up? Well ladies and gentlemen, she is the one that has changed me for the better and taught me that love does exist. The way I feel about her is so strong and so real that I don’t even understand it. 

I feel happy all the time like I am on cloud 9 and there’s just no coming down. I feel the need to be better and do better all the time just be right for her. I want to spoil her and treat her as much as possible. I want to make her happy in all ways. I want to give her what she deserves and wants. I feel all her emotions as I can sense that feels mine. I feel the natural automatic connection to in her in every way on all possibly known levels. I learn from her and teach her at the same time. There’s never a dull moment. I miss her any time she crosses my mind and is not with me. When she’s around I just feel this sense of comfortable and satisfyingly happy atmosphere. There’s so much more I can say but I don’t want to lose my train of thought and purpose for this entry. 

When you get to this point you’ll probably be like “aww how cute” or “why say all that?” but here’s where I am going with all this. That individual known as Amerie is a beautiful soul that I wish not to lose. I hear many say she’s good for me and I see why every single day. So I say all this to say that love does exist. It just takes some time to encounter it and then embrace it but believe me when I say that when it does come around, it’s the most beautiful, happiest, amazing, cozy, out of this world thing an feeling that has ever hit you. It might put you on that never-ending cloud 9 and trust you will enjoy every second of it.

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: One Month

Yeah it happened everyone, Amerie and I made it to a whole month and honestly I’m ready for many more. I always say there’s just something about Amerie that draws me to her and gives me feelings I don’t even understand. I don’t know what that something is but I know she is beyond amazing and I love her more than I can say or show. Her beautiful brown eyes that tells me she is in love with me when she stares at me, her lips that tells me everything she thinks, her kiss is as irresistible as she is, her touch that send chills down my spine just as when I think about our alone time that sends chills everywhere. Our hands intertwine so perfectly like a missing puzzle piece that completed a picture. Her voice is soothing. Her hugs are warmth. When I look at her, I see where every single inch of my happiness emits from. Being with her time stops, no one exists but us. She makes me happy, she’s my everything. I want to protect her with all my might, love her with all of me and be with her as much as I can be. I’m in love with her. Deeply and happily in love with Amerie. I know she feels the same just by the way she looks at me. She’s absolutely my world ❤️

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Happily In Love

It’s something I cannot explain and it’s different from what I am use to but it is definitely her. Amerie. I cannot begin to express the feelings I have for her and that it’s literally like love at first sight. Yes, I Damon, is in love. Happily in love. Our hands fit together like puzzle pieces. Her smile brighter than the sun. The way she looks at me, I can tell she thinks about me and loves me as much as I love her. Her beautiful brown eyes that tell me about every inch of her feelings. The way she cannot contain herself around me. The way she is just happy with me are all new but it gives me a feeling that I adore. She is my diamond and I never regret my decision. It is her. Most definitely her. I will do anything for her because she is just that amazing. I will go to the moon and back for her. Protect her with all my might. Love her until my last breath and all I see is light. When I am with her i see and hear nobody but her. My focus and attention is just set on her. I love her and I won’t stop. Happily in love with the most amazing and greatest thing that happened to me.

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Confused

I love her but I don’t know if she loves me back as she claims. Yes I am with Amerie now but I thought Jasmin would have taken the choice to retry with me since we still have those lingering feels but of course I thought wrong. I have tried everything, said everything, expressed shit I would have never told her just to prove to her exactly what I have been saying since our beginning. She chose another clearly and as pointless as that is I practically gave up. What is the point in me proving shit that is not going to work in not only my favor but at all? She is willing to commit to someone who is clearly not good for her rather than commit to the one she knows is good for her and will treat her amazing af. Again I ask, what tf did I do so wrong? If I did nothing wrong and was good to her as she tells me and others… why continuously reject us and me? Why continuously avoid what at this point seems inevitable where we are concerned? I don’t understand any of this and I have hit the point where I just don’t bother because what is the damn point? Right now I just go with the flow with Jasmin. I’m done fighting, I’m done proving, I’m done trying like it is all pointless effort and wasted energy. Don’t get me wrong I was hoping for me and Jasmin just as much as I was hoping for me and Amerie. I don’t know what Jasmin wants, it’s not like she even telling me everything because I’m hearing shit that I had no idea was even a problem. There is no battle anymore, there is no fight… it’s whatever Jasmin wants if she even knows what that is. The only thing that is even acknowledged at this point is September so you know what screw being conflicted, screw everything … it’s September 

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Amerie

She’s mine and I know it. The time it took for this to finally happen, I really can’t blow this. We had complications before but everything just worked out on its own and I’m happy it did. Yeah I am still hung up on Jasmin a bit but like Amerie. Just something about her. Her smile alone is enough to brighten a day. I’m excited to see her always. We are practically opposite but somehow we just mesh well and work. Holding her hands and having her in my arms are moments I enjoy. I don’t even want to let her go. Just spending time with her and being around her gives this feeling I don’t understand. She does the cutest things that I am not even used to so I don’t always know how to react. Waking up every morning at the same time and seeing those good morning texts I feel loved because I am just not so used to it. Just things she does and says I really don’t know how to react because I rarely got that in past relationships except for one. She’s amazing, cute, loving and I am just happy that she is finally mine. It took time but it’s worth it. Amerie. 

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Lovestruck

Just something about Amerie that I absolutely cannot explain. Yeah right now we have a complicated relationship only because she wanted to do or see something before we move forward together. Honestly it doesn't even matter, she is definitely worth the wait. My good friend Annie loves teasing me saying I'm in love and that we are so into each other that she doesn't understand why Amerie even wants to do whatever she wants to do or see. I wait for Amerie to say yes so we can be official and not just talking like now where we show interest and flirt so I can just give her all of me. I do that now to prove to her that I'm not playing with her heart or anything and that I want this just as she does. Me waiting for her is my way of showing her that as well. Regardless we agreed to not let it ruin our friendship and that's a promise I'm keeping because she is one person I definitely don't wanna lose at all. Amerie is just worth it all. The wait, the walk, the mile, the world.. She's always on my mind, not a second goes by that I don't think about her. Somehow we just work. Her. Special af.

[shaqiramentality]

Letters from Damon: Lost

I’m not really hooked on Jasmin I just have those days where I visualize our lips touching and our tongues battling. I think about my hands roaming her body as I’m inside her. I see her face filled with pleasure and her body pleading for more as I suck on her neck leaving my signature mark that practically spells my name. I visualize her grabbing me and I feel her fingers making imprints in my back and her hands on my abs and biceps. I grab and squeeze her ass to intensify everything more just before I place her on the couch to go down on her before going inside again… That’s all in my head and if I could in reality, I would give her what she deserves but I don’t even know where I stand with her. I mean we friends now or that’s what she told me but I feel she thinks about us sexually sometimes and she doesn’t know what she really wants anymore. Either way I’ll always be here for her and with her, anything she wants she gets so yes as many has asked me, part of me is still in love with Jasmin why regardless of how she treats me I just can’t give up on her. Doesn’t feel right. Everything is on her right now so I don’t do what I would’ve done to other people. 

That’s Jasmin tho. Recently made friends with Marvin and I started liking him off the bat and I’m hoping we can be something soon. Thing with that is depending on Jasmin I don’t want to really do much. What if she decides to want more then I have a chance to actually fix everything. What if she doesn’t then I just hope she will try to be friends as I focus on Marvin. I just want to know what Jasmin wants us to do because she seems conflicted. I just want to sex her to be honest. So that friends with benefits sound blessed to me. Marvin tho … beyond as well as others I’ve been looking into. So I’m waiting to see what Jasmin wants but I’ve been pretty occupied. I never been so confused with Jasmin in my life besides that bullshit fight she created and hosted while I just waited for it to end. At this moment I just don’t know. I am lost. I am stuck. I am backed in a corner with no way out. I'm being ignored or given pure attitude most to almost all of the time and I don't know why. Lost is becoming an understatement as I approach a state of being that I’ve been avoiding. Honestly, I don’t even know anymore. Lost as heck here.