got bored, made a levi related playlist on spotif.. and i think it turned out pretty nice heh
if ya want to be a collaborator (aka add songs you think encapsulate this man's energy well), then please, by all means, go ahead 🫶 give it a listen first though, to really grasp what kinda vibes i was going for here :3
"Do it..." You managed to gurgle out, trying not to choke on your own blood as you lifted your hand to grasp his ankle, coating the leather material of his boot with a new layer of crimson red.
Your captain remained mute as he wore his usual seemingly mundane expression but you could tell your request brought him pain. Working under him for as long as you had, looking up to him ever since he saved you many years ago as a child, you saw the miniscule movements and changes in his expression. The way his downturned lips seemed to deepen, the twitch in his brows as they furrowed slightly upon hearing your pained voice, the way his jaws clentched tightly as his nostrils flared from the deep intake of the metallic scented air, and his eyes. His eyes which typically looked dead betrayed him as they exposed his inner turmoil.
He tore his gaze from yours as he averted them to take a moment to himself. He peered at where your lower half would have been but was met with a squeamish sight along with a pool of thick red substance. Had he been just a few minutes earlier, you could have been in one piece. The two of you could have been back home later that night arguing with the rest of the rowdy squadron and you would have lived to see another day. You were in pain and it was a miracle that you were still concious. Had it not been for the adrenaline, you would have passed out from the pain. Looking into your (e/c) gaze, his expression morphed into a hardset one; one that showed he had steadied his resolve.
It was a selfish request, to ask him of all people, but you knew he could do it. He had to do it. After all, he was humanity's greatest soldier. If he couldn't, then who could? At the moment what the world needed was their soldier; the rational titan-killer machine. Not the conflicted human being with emotional attatchments.
The tears which brimmed your waterline flowed freely as you audibly struggled to breathe, blinking rapidly as you stared at the bright sky which vastness seemed to mock you. Despite asking him to do the deed, despite knowing your death was inevitable, you were scared nonetheless. What awaited you after this? Would there be nothing but emptiness? Was this really the end? You coughed, blood spewing from your lips as you felt the warm liquid cascade down your chin, a few stray droplets splattering your chalky complexion as if to bring some color back to your cheeks.
It was a beautiful day you noted. The sky was a beautiful baby blue, the puffy cotton like clouds moved at a tauntingly slow pace, and the birds flew overhead enjoying their freedom. You smiled bitterly as you muttered to no one in particular "It's a beautiful day to die huh?”
He didn't respond to your sarcastic remark as he placed a hand over the handle of his blade, drawing it from it's sheathe.
"Make it quick will you?" You sputtered as you closed your eyes, craning your neck as if to make things easier for him.
Memories of the two of you flashed through his head as he stared at your seemingly brave expression. He could tell you were trying to remain strong but in his eyes, you had reverted back into that terrified little girl hiding in the wooden crate.
You were no older than 10 when he first met you. Huddled up in a small wooden crate in the corner of a crushed house, you refused to tell him your name as you owlishly stared at him with big doe eyes upon removing the lid. In fact, you refused to make any sound till he picked you up after seeing you would not budge when he told you to come with him. In his arms, he could hear your little sobs which you tried to stiffle as the tears finally flowed from relief, wetting his neck and shirt much to his un-said annoyance.
By the time he had gotten back to the safety of the inner walls, although you still had not said a single thing, you refused to be seperated from him despite your initial mistrust. You cowered when the other adults had approached you in an attempt to coax your vulnerable form, and you followed him around where ever he went. It wasn't till he tried to hand you off to your adoptive family which agreed to care for you did you finally open your mouth, screaming your discontent at this decision as you tried to cling to him. It wasn't till he mentioned how he wasn't particularly fond of "snot-nosed brats that didn't listen to adults," did you zip your lips shut once more, letting go of his hand to wipe your tears and snot on your sleeves causing him to cringe. Safe to say, he had one major headache that night.
Memories flooded his mind as they involuntarily played out, making things all the more harder, but he could not let that stop him.
"I will." He muttered back as he raised his sword. You opened your eyes and smiled slightly in an attempt to comfort him for his merciful act.
"Captain, serving under you was my greatest honor and if given the opportunity to do so again, I would." You brought a fist to your chest in an attempt to salute to your superior, "Again... Just like that day. You are saving me once again."
He grimaced at your poor attempt to cheer him up. Taking a deep breath he announced, "Cadet (Y/N)."
You closed your eyes, the fist that rested on your chest tightening as you reciprocated the formality with the same level of resolve in his voice, "Captain Levi."
"It was an honor to work with you." A pause, "As of this moment you are hereby relieved of your duty. Humanity thanks you for your service."
You exhaled as he swung his blade down, the steel glinting from the sun's rays, "It was a pleasure Captain. Thank you for everything."
based on Levi couldn't save you from the titans playlist
I honestly don't know if I would have ever connected this song to Leviathan if it wasn't for @jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav's absolutely incredible TMAxOM crossover. Pairing Leviathan with the Lonely not only emotionally scarred me and made me want to hug my poor fishie friend until the end of time, but also really made the brainworms dance, which is honestly the best scenario that could have come out of reading such a well-written, heartbreaking passage. So thank you so very much, Winter, for the inspiration! ♥
Lyrics and explanation below the cut!
You can fit everything you know
In a bottle for you to show
Pick your brain apart and put it in (pick your brain apart)
And build it again with needles and pins
Everything you have earned is a ship
With blue waves crashing into it
But nothing can touch your happy thoughts anymore
With your glass ceiling, walls, and floor
Immediately we start out with something that honestly just feels textbook Leviathan. Taking the pieces of yourself and placing them in something that's fragile, but feels safe. Keeping himself 'safe' behind the glass of a screen, surrounded by the glass of his aquarium... He protects himself within a prison of his own creation, but in doing so also isolates himself, the glass between him and his brothers, him and the rest of the world, thick and seemingly impassable.
Sailing on a ship in a bottle
Anchor all your thoughts to the bottom
Pulling ropes and pulling your head back
To see what is breaking the foremast
You set sail alone, there is no crew
No one on the deck who can help you
This is all your own battle to win
This is your ship, and you are the captain
This is where the first little tug of recognition came in. You'd think this would be the moment that everything clicked, but that came a little bit later, actually, during the second pre-chorus! Regardless, this is Leviathan considering himself as alone, fighting a singular battle against those who look down upon him.
Oh, captain, let's make a deal
Where we both say the things that we both really feel
I feel scared and I'm starting to sink
And I only sink deeper the deeper I think
This is Levi addressing himself, his own battle within. Addressing the former version of himself, the version he thinks he'll never really be able to touch again. Admiral Leviathan, the head of Hell's Navy, a commanding presence, confident, strong, unquestionable. Now who has he become? A scared, weak little otaku, lost in the waters of his own mind and starting to drown in his own fears and insecurities.
There are red spots under your eyes
From when you cry into the sky
Ocean waters rising above your neck
You feel the glass start to crack
Sailing on a ship in a bottle
Water's leaking through holes in the bottom
Flying flags of ships that have long since
Sat at the floor of the sea, but in defense
You set sail alone, there is no crew
No one on the deck who can help you
This is all your own battle to win
This is your ship and you are the captain
This was the moment the connection was made. If you haven't gone to read that drabble from Winter that I linked above, do so now, because this is where spoilers for that come in! Something about the visual of 'ships that have long since sat at the floor of the sea' put the vision into my head of Levi sailing off into a vast sea of fog, disappearing into waters that no one has ever returned from, eyes empty and aimless. Even within his 'untouchable' glass bottle, the water is rising and threatening to overtake him, and at this point his mind is so clouded by his own doubts that there's nothing he can do to stop it, and he's not sure if he even wants to.
Oh, captain, let's make a deal
Where we both say the things that we both really feel
I feel scared and I'm starting to sink
And I only sink deeper the deeper I think
Oh, captain, make up your mind
Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time
'cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain
And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane
This segment also echoes what I've said in previous passages, as well it should, being the chorus, but the addition of 'you get lost in your brain and you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane' really drives home that Lonely narrative. Regardless of whether you subscribe to the dots I've connected between the drabble and canon, Levi has completely lost the person he used to be either way. He's lost so much credibility due to his (relatively, as far as demon time goes) new obsessions, he's lost his strength and confidence and bravery due to his hikikomori lifestyle, to the point where it's difficult to call him even a shadow of his former self.
Oh, captain, let's make a deal
Where we both say the things that we both really feel
I feel scared and I'm starting to sink
And I only sink deeper the deeper I think
Oh, captain, make up your mind
Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time
'cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain
And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane
Thanks so much for reading! A huge thank you once again to Winter for the inspiration that brought this post into being. If you're not already following them, you should! Their headcanon posts were one of my biggest inspirations for wanting to create a blog of my own. ♥
Looking for more Leviathan-vibe songs? Find his playlist here!
Looking for more Devildom-vibe songs? Find that playlist here!