The time has finally come for me to drop my Garak playlist, full of songs I like a lot and find fitting for my favourite exiled spy simple tailor. I've put the songs in an order that I see as roughly following him through the canon timeline, from struggling a lot with depression and addiction after being exiled, through gradually improving a little with Julian's help, to ultimately going back to Cardassia after the war and possibly finally getting together with Julian post-canon.
I really tried to limit myself to a reasonable amount of Mountain Goats songs spaced out throughout the list. The operative word here is "tried." Read on for selections of the lyrics and a little bit of commentary!
1. "Masterpiece Theatre I" by Marianas Trench
I've been here so very long
And every word is calculated
Never questioned or debated
All these practiced poses
I could wreck it if I had to
But I'm the wreck, so what would that do?
2. "Divided Sky Lane" by The Mountain Goats
Though the frost bites hard
I maintain my guard
Good spies grow old
They never come in from the cold
3. "Boy Division" by My Chemical Romance
I'm not laughing, you're not joking
I'm not dead, I only dress that way
Out nowhere, take me out there
Far away and save me from my self-destruction
4. "Bitter Medicine" by The Crane Wives
I bite my tongue to keep the worst of the words in
So they don't hurt nobody but me
Swallow the poison I want to spit
Bitter medicine, I think it's making me sick
5. "Prowl Great Cain" by The Mountain Goats
Sleepwalk through my days and mark the hours until these dark times fade
Like a caterpillar crawling out along the surface of the blade
And I feel guilty, but I can't feel ashamed
Prowl through empty fields, great Cain
6. "Breaking Down" by Florence + The Machine
I can see it coming from the edge of the room
Creeping in the streetlight
Holding my hand in the pale gloom
Can you see it coming now?
Oh, I think I'm breaking down again
7. "Love Me More" by Mitski
How do other people live?
I wonder how they keep it up
When today is finally done
There's another day to come
Then another day to come
8. "When You Were Young" by Ella Mae Bowen (originally by The Killers, but I really like this cover)
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now, here he comes
(Shout-out to @daytimedrinking for putting the original Killers song on her playlist for her adorable fic about the TOS crew singing karaoke and making me realize it would be perfect for Garak too!)
9. "Spent Gladiator 2" by The Mountain Goats
Like someone who's found a small town to escape to
Keeps one eye on his abandoned former self
Stay in the game
Just try to play through the pain
10. "A Pearl" by Mitski
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
11. "Tongues & Teeth" by The Crane Wives
And I know that you mean so well
But I am not a vessel for your good intent
I will only break your pretty things
I will only wring you dry of everything
12. "Kill All Your Friends" by My Chemical Romance
Well, you can hide a lot about yourself
But honey, what are you going to do?
And you can sleep in a coffin
But the past ain't through with you
13. "Heel Turn 2" by The Mountain Goats
Drift down into the new dark light
Without any reservations
You found my breaking point
Congratulations
14. "Moral Compass" by Metric
I am on the last boat out at sea
With just a busted moral compass guiding you to me
I'm just trying to get past the thoughts that trap me in the dark
I'm just someone trying to turn the end into the start
15. "The Dangling Conversation" by Simon & Garfunkel
Like a poem poorly written
We are verses out of rhythm
Couplets out of rhyme
In syncopated time
And the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs
Are the borders of our lives
(This song is not only literally about people debating literature, but it's also about them only being able to talk about that rather than really seriously communicate about their relationship. It's Garashir.)
16. "How to Embrace a Swamp Creature" by The Mountain Goats
I start to sweat, I can't cool down
I'm scared of all the strangers in this town
I try to tell you just why I've come
It's like I've got molasses on my tongue
17. "No Lights on the Horizon" by Metric
No lights on the horizon
No sign of what's ahead
If it wasn't for your kindness lately
I'd never get out of bed
18. "If I Leave" by Mitski
If I leave, somebody else will love you
But nobody else could forgive me
Quite as often as you
(I also made a Garashir fanvid for this one!)
19. "Soil, Soil" by Tegan and Sara
Buried in my yard, a letter to send to you
And if I forget, or God forbid, die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me, know that I wrote to you
(I feel like this song is perfect for A Stitch In Time.)
20. "BIRDS OF A FEATHER" by Billie Eilish
I want you to stay
'Til I'm in the grave
'Til I rot away, dead and buried
'Til I'm in the casket you carry
(I wanted to give this a happy ending that could work for Garak and Bashir finally getting together post-canon, and I think this is a good love song for them.)
Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy my taste in (mostly) sad music! <3
