Summary: On his 84th birthday, Levi looks back. [Post-canon events, canon-compliant]
Pairing: Levi x Pain Levi x Petra, minor Gabi x Falco
Warnings: Suicidal ideation, major character death (ends bittersweet I promise lol)
Words: 1,525
Inspired by this funny video on Youtube. How I turned it into angst, I also don't know.
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āHappy birthday, happy birthday~ā
āIām too old for surprises,ā Levi drily notes, trying hard not to smile. He thinks he wouldāve hightailed out the room, but Gabi had already blocked the way.
They all ignore his grumpy grumble as Falco places the cake in front of him.
āHappy birthday to you~ā
The room erupts in jeers and joyous laughter the moment the song ends, and Levi finds himself being nudged to blow the candle and make a wish.
āGive grandpa Levi a birthday hug, Carter,ā Gabi nudges her youngest son.
āHappy birthday, grandpa Levi!ā Carter greets him, now too big at ten years old to climb his lap, but not much of a rebellious teen enough to not throw his arms around the old man.
Levi gives an āoofā as he accepts the eager hug from the boy, a small fond smile tugging up the corner of his lip. He gives Carter a pat on the head and allows him to ramble away.
āHappy birthday, Uncle Levi,ā Falco greets again as Levi accepts his gift, giving a grateful nod to the couple heād basically raised since he moved to Marley.
āThanks,ā Levi says, then remarks when heās sure that Carter was already occupied with wolfing down his slice of cake. āI hope this is my last.ā
Gabi erupts in laughter, used to his grumbles and joking quips of how an old fuck like him is still breathing.
Falco, ever the sweet boy that he is even as a middle-aged man now, gives him a nervous smile, always antsy at the thought of Levi dying. Itās the same for all their other children.
āOh, donāt be like that, grandpa,ā Sophia, Gabi and Falcoās now 26-year-old first-born, noted. āI bet you and Carter can still go racing with your wheelchair and his bike.ā
āPretty sure wheelchairs arenāt made for racing,ā another piped up. This one looking more and more like Falco since the day he turned 23. Benjamin had sometimes been Leviās favorite. The blonde knows when to shut up, fond as the old man may be of all of Gabi and Falcoās children.
Levi never understood why theyād all made a fuss out of his eventual passing. He thinks itās been long overdue, if heās honest. Itās not like heād faced death on the daily during his prime years in the military.
And what the hell are you supposed to do at eighty-fucking-four?
The world have no need for Ackermans now.
It wouldāve been easyāa gun to his temple would do the trick. A noose around his neck is also a less messy option.
Hell, he couldāve just given into his injuries four decades ago and maybe he wouldāve joined them all earlier when heād saluted his comrades for the last time.
He finds that he thinks of them more frequently in the last few years. Levi doesnāt know if itās just the impulse that comes with old ageāto be a sensitive little shit as you crawl your years away to your gravestone.
Levi mind floats to them as the world gets more advanced, and they didnāt even get the chance to experience what they all worked so hard for.
He thinks Hange wouldāve loved all the new technologies that pop up in Marley in what seems like every year.
They recently developed this box thing called a ātelevisionā (the twitch on Gabiās brow whenever Levi breaks another remote had always been priceless). Levi tried fixing the wires once when their first television broke down, before Falco politely asked him if he needed any help and took over repairs.
He gets the feeling the late Scout scientist wouldāve dissected the box the first chance she gets.
Marleyās books were next levelātheir libraries even more soāand he can only imagine how Erwinās huge-ass eyebrows wouldāve shot up in interest.
Tch. Maybe Levi would be a sap enough to gift him a book or two.
Thereās a pub a few blocks away the first apartment he rented in Marley. He thinks Eld, Oluo and Gunther would all appreciate the unique list of drinks. Heād bet his finest tea cup that Eld wouldāve sneaked a bottle or two out.
The three men sometimes got the courage to ask their captain out for drinks back when they were still alive. And despite Leviās annoyance at their tendency to share a single brain cell, heād acquiesced once or twice.
And most importantly, heād found something called a record player.
āImagine if we can just play music in private, captain. Maybe you wouldnāt be too hesitant to join in on the fun,ā sheād teased him when heād refused to dance in public during one of the midwinter festivals. āWe can ask Hange to invent one!ā
āDonāt give her more ideas,ā Levi had replied to her, hands shyly shoved in his coat pocket as he lounged at the back of the ballroom.
Sheād flashed him a dazzling smile and kept him company for the rest of the night, singing along to the band.
Heād found himself entranced whenever he sneaked a glance at her that night, her ginger hair looking more like silk with her every sway to the music.
Itās not that he didnāt want to dance with her. He regretted that he didnāt, to be frank. But Captain Levi back then didnāt have time to dwell on regrets.
On nights when he couldnāt sleep, heād sometimes turn on the record player that Gabi bought him. He knows jackshit about whatās trending, nor does he care (and the model he still owns is way outdated), often just grabbing a record that seems to fit his tastes.
(Or reminds him of her voice, despite only hearing her sing once.)
āGrandpa Levi,ā Carter snaps him out of his reverie. Levi looks around, as if bringing himself back out of his thoughts. He finds the room was abuzz with the usual chatter as the family always celebrate midwinter thanksgiving along with his birthday.
āWanna go outside?ā Carter invites, then comes closer as if conspiring with the old man. āThis place is full of boring adults.ā
Levi looks at the cake that he seemed to be staring at for awhile now, and decides to humor the kid.
Sometimes conversations with Carter reminds him of another energetic green-eyed boy heād been in charge of in what seemed like forever ago.
āYeah, sure thing brat,ā Levi replies, making a wobbling attempt to stand up. āCan you grab my cane? This wheelchairās making my ass sore.ā
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Itās been a few days since his 84th birthday and Levi sees them more these days.
Sometimes he thinks he can feel Erwin lounging next to him, the manās steady and confident presence accompanying him as Levi flips another page on the morning paper.
Heād also get a flash of messy auburn hair and goggles, only for it to be gone the moment he turns around to find the source of the annoying cackle.
At night, heād often hear the sound of footsteps in the hallway, which reminds him of his former squad sneaking back to their rooms after a night of whatever fuckery they got involved in. Heād chalked it up to Gabi and Falco coming home late, despite the footsteps being heavier than theyād usually be.
Perhaps the worst of them all is the ginger hair heād see from the corner of his remaining eye, only for the visage to be gone before he can even blink.
On good days, heād find her soft fingers running through Carterās hair, and his heart twists whenever his mind strays to the realization that this oblivious boy couldāve been their grandchild had she lived past the 57th.
Sometimes heād get a whiff of her lavender laundry soap as he attempts to make his cup of tea, and he swears the taste is almost the same as when sheād made it for him decades ago.
Levi thinks itās another good day today as she sits in front of him, her form more vivid than it had ever been in the past.
Petraās smile is soft and melancholic, but itās there. It's there as she holds his hand tight and reassuring, as she tucks a stray strand of inky hair out of his face. He missed her smile, and he doesnāt know when was the last time heād been this happy, save for when Gabi and Falco adopted Carter from the streets.
Thatās why he doesnāt understand why Gabi is panicking next to him, or why Falco had ran out to seek help.
He wouldāve scolded the brats (because theyāll always be brats to him) to calm the fuck down, but Levi canāt seem to find his voice right now.
Everything momentarily went black, his vision blurring, and he feels what felt like a final sharp squeeze on his chest.
āTook you long enough, Captain,ā Petraās voice finally pipes up after a moment, her cheery smile as bright as when sheād first saluted him. Heād only ever seen her the past few days, but had never heard her talk.
Itās been more than forty years since heād last heard her voice.
As he looks around, taking in how everything feels light and freeing, something in Levi tells him that her voice will be a part of his daily moving forward.
Looking at the shippers who are trying to (over)analyze everything, from the visuals in manga panels to dialogues, they're writing theories, headcanons and assumptions, looking out for the foreshadowings just to make their ships "feel" canon, I'm grateful Levi and Petra had the least scenes and interactions yet those littles speak canon loudest.
I mean it didn't take me so hard to ship Rivetra, it came naturally after watching eps. 22. One look from Levi, one letter from Petra, were really enough to show they had unusual feelings towards eachother. The (potential) love story ended there, beautifully and tragically, and was never forced at all.
It doesn't mean I don't like the theories or HCs or analysis in Rivetra fandom, they do so much help in convincing me, and I really like to collect these precious crumbs after all. But even if it's only eps. 22 that we have, I'll still be shipping them so hard.
Isayama couldn't really write romance and romance isn't really the main theme of this series neither, it wouldn't be surprised if Rivetra feels like come-then-go. But this come-then-go had happened for real, even only in that moment. I'm sorry Petra's dead. I'm sorry Levi and Petra never had a chance. But I think I need to thank Isayama for not making their story look lame and forced. As I said, it was tragic and beautiful. And Isayama did good.
At this point, I believe everyone who deny their feelings for eachother are only fans of Levi's other ships. We're all biased after all.
And don't tell me it's one sided. Isayama gave us a whole episode to learn it from Levi's side. It's Levi who stopped and blinked slowly at her corpse. It's Levi who kneeled down and took her badge. It's Levi who stared painfully when she was thrown from the cart. We didn't know the feelings are mutual until after Mr. Ral showed up and told him about hers.
I should stop here. Seems like I've just ended up becoming one of the shippers I talked about in the first paragraph, hahaha.
