#lextothemax

[cptapathy]

Transition timeline time

10 years ago (I had to go for 10 years ago because I refused to be in solo photos much of the time)

Is she happy?

How about her first dress

Do you think she felt confident the first time out femme? Even if she was "still cis thou"

And now? 10 years on? 3 years HRT, 4 years out?

Do you think she feels confident and happy now? Do you think she's content now?

Because the answer is no, she's had a taste now. Being "content" is the last thing on her mind.

[cptapathy]

I'm experiencing transphobia at work again. Life of a casual tech, I guess.

So to make myself feel better, photo dump and face reveil because ytf not

Hey call me pretty please

[cptapathy]

hey! what are you favorite ttrpgs?

Dice tumble

Pen scratch

A held breath

A promised climax

We sit around our table/

At our desk/in a circle on the floor

And together we laugh

And smile and more

We love these creations in our heads

As they dance and fight and flee

And as the night draws close to us

We hold them warm and tightly

These people we conjure are dear to me

For they are the crystal through which I look

To see the life I share with you

And the love we have for each other

Okay so my favourite ttrpg changes as I play them but right now it's A.N.I.M's EURKEA!

I have always been a fan of murder mysteries from Agatha Christie, to pie in the sky, Midsomer Murders, Rosemary and Thyme and everything in between.

I had run several murder mysteries in different ttrpgs and even a couple of murder mystery larps (including a spectacular zombie one) but I'd never found a system that truely captured what murder mysteries feel like.

Then I discovered Eureka and the Eureka mechanic and it all clicked. You could say it was a eureka moment.

I'm going to discuss in some detail the mechanic and give an example but before that everyone should go and

a. Follow A.N.I.M. on tumblr

@anim-ttrpgs

b. Join their patreon so we can get the gorgan playable investigator. Go look at all the cool stuff!

https://www.patreon.com/TheAgencyofNarrativeIntrigueandMysteryPatreon/posts

Essentially A.N.I.M have separated dice rolls into two categories

1. Investigation rolls

2. Non-investigation rolls

Investigation rolls are when an investigator is trying to uncover information or clues to progress the investigation. (Pretty clear definition) non-investigation rolls are all other rolls (combat, hiding secrets, getting out of dodge etc.)

Whenever an investigator makes an investigation roll there are 3 possible outcomes

1 Failure - they do not success and/or complications arise - they gain 3 Eureka points

2 partial success/mixed success - they get part of a clue or a clue and a complication - they gain 2 Eureka points

3 full success - they gain the clue without issue - they gain one Eureka point

When the investigators have a full eureka bar they can use a EUREKA!

This allows them to roll a check with 3d6 and take the highest instead of 2d6 or (my favourite option) gain clues from previous failed rolls.

So to take the most iconic episode of Midsomer Murders as an example - "The Killings At Badgers Drift"

Spoilers and CW for references to incest.

DCI Barnerby arrests the foppish artist on suspicion of murder, during the arrest the artist's sister arrives and the artist crys out "I've been framed" and makes a sign of a square with his fingers.

The DCI Makes an investigation roll but biffs it, snake eyes, complete failure, no hope of discovering that clue.

Later on The DCI is talking to a woman at a call centre who was the last known person to speak to the victim. Apparently the victim said "just like poor annabella" before hanging up. Again the DCI makes an investigation roll this time getting a partial success, there is someone related who has a name similar to annabella who died from an "accident" and the DCI decides to investigate this accident as well now, thinking (correctly) that it might not be so accidental.

But now the DCI has a full eureka bar and so the player shouts out eureka to gain the clue from the failed check earlier. And so, that night, the DCI has a dream of all the relevant clues and realises the clue missed when the artist made the symbol and said "I've been framed" it was a code, to tell his sister that the evidence of their affair (the nude painting he did of her) was in the attic and could prove that they were working together to keep their affair secret. This new vital clue allows the DCI to search for, and find, the painting helping to solve the mystery.

And so that is one reason I love eureka, along with the approach to disability and monster characters. It's currently got a free demo and stuff, go support them they're great.

[cptapathy]

In the tags of a recent reblog you started to go into the lore of your icon, you had me at "Demon who's in a polyamorous relationship with a viking and a witch". So who is your icon? And would you do me the honor of telling me more about their lore?

Child of corruption,

destined to fall

The alchemists daughter

Abandoned and small

Past claimed by flames

And death and destruction

A future of danger

yet heart open and welcome

With lives on the line

Her mind held her tongue

Her lover was lost

When her feelings were young

Doomed to end

Yet others died first

She blackened her soul

To break their curse

Her family reforged

Her love kindled new

Her future in sight

Her drive renewed

I'm gonna edit this post on my PC when I get home from work for like layout and more art

Alarë Awarthiel meaning she-who-grows daughter-of-abandon

Later Vanya meaning fair or beautiful which was a name suggested by her witch girlfriend

She is a traditionally beautiful woman, with dark purple skin, long flowing brown hair, leathery wings, cloven hooves and a dump truck of a rack and arse. She underwent a bit of a corrupted transformation and her hands are now distinctly more claw like with glowing infernal tattoos up her arms, she has glowing magenta eyes and a dark scar across her face.

Are you ready for a (heavily condensed) lore drop, because this is a big ol lore drop below the cut.

First a bit of background, in this setting use of magic or "sins" corrupts a soul, functionally this means if you cast too many or too powerful a spell you risk becoming corrupted, or if you go about killing people. Get too corrupted, and you turn into a monster.

No One really knew how tieflings came about but, the were always more vulnerable to corruption and would almost always become monsters when they were in their mid 40s or younger. Usually the transformation would occur due to strong negative emotions. (Alarë was not aware of this curse)

Alarë is a tiefling, on her fathers side, she grew up in a small village where her father was the village alchemist and she took to botany and alchemy readily.

When she was 15, her mum died of a disease and her dad, broken hearted, became a monster. Alarë killed the monster that was her father to protect herself. She then ran away and for 6 years was a travelling alchemist, before heading north to find the origin of her curse and to maybe stop it.

On her journey, she met her two girlfriends

Sigrid arnaulf, city guard, turned eldritch ranger. OC of @rebockey

Sigrid is a muscly boat building warrior who is trying to figure out who/what to listen to and how to find her own voice. (Has very recently, it seems, come into her own)

Sigrid has bright red hair which has been shorn so short on the sides, although she used to have long braided hair and wode markings in various places across her body

The other girlfriend, Oksana Bosko, OC of @primalsavagery

Oksana is the weird, little, witch boy who hangs around and is also a midwife. She is blunt, argumentative and "off-putting" but an excellent medic.

Oksana has shock blond hair which has also be cut away at the sides and has tattoos of the phases of the three moons all across her body. She is also dog.

Together the three of them are founding a witch coven very soon to become the "Sisters of The Shifting Seasons"

So that's the light lore and descriptions now for the story

Alarë came to the forest with this group, she was head over heels for Sigrid pretty instantly, she was strong, kind hearted and friendly. Honestly kryptonit to gaining Alarë's affection,

Oksana was a bit different at first Alarë was afraid of Oksana, she was blunt and unsociable which had been a red flag in the past but eventually she began to see how much Oksana cared about everything and that melted Alarë heart

Oksana was murdered by another member of the party (after Oksana went werewolf and almost killed and definitely infected said party member) and Alarë became so enraged that she struck down the other party member and partially transformed into a monster her hands growing into claws, the markings on her arms in a demonic language appeared and her eyes began to glow.

For several weeks (IRL months) they did the oblivious lesbians thing, and were just pining at one another with moments like "you can share my tent if you aren't comfortable sleeping alone"

Together with the group she went to the home of some necromantic hags hoping to bring oksana back to life, the hags were unable to aid but in the end the barrier between the living world and the dead was broken and be returned Oksana's soul to her body

After her transformation Alarë started calling herself Uvanima, meaning monster, Oksana wasn't particularly happy about that and suggested Vanya instead.

When they reunited with Sigrid, she had been cursed with an uncontrollable desire to drink blood, so the other two stepped up to help her deal with the impulse

"We can let you feed on our blood,

we have a blood letting kit,

it's hot,

I mean,

not a problem"

Shortly after that the three began fucking on Sigrid’s birthday!

Since then they have formed their proto coven (this Wednesday is when it might be official) with Oksana being the medicine witch, Sigrid being the handywitch and Vanya being the homeywitch? (Cooking and keeping the Inn and making potions and stuff)

It's a big ol' chunk of text but I have been the soul of brevity in this description there's so much more to everything.

Thank you for asking and giving me the opportunity to splurge about my blorbo

[cptapathy]

I don't have the mental capacity for face photos rn but look how hot I am!

[cptapathy]

Original reference image from @carlymarie_._ on Instagram

[cptapathy]

Piotr musiał really does make some great music

I'm gonna use so much of this for ominous ttrpg music

[cptapathy]

Music asks 18 & 19 pls 🩵

So 18 is a difficult one as it depends on the date and the person

If we're like coming back from a high energy date, wanting to maintain that energy and it's late and the right person/vibes we're probably going for electro-swing or light edm in which case Bodies by The Knocks and MUNA.

Alternatively if we're wanting to wind down, done a lot of talking already kinda wanna just relax and ease into things it's gonna be more gentle stuff, depending on the person perhaps synthwave or lofi or just some indie stuff that's lyric light. So Vanity suite A by The Modern Electric

Or anything by I am not left handed

19 is a smorgasbord board of choices

No following from Iron Giant, The Letter from the Billy elliot musical, Cinematic pop's version of Sunday candy, Time in a Tree by Raleigh Ritchie, shelter by Porter Robinson, white wine in the sun by tim minchin, Good love and not entirely alone by narcissist cookbook, all of shane Koyczan, The child in your spirit by RØRE, Can't help falling in love by elvis,

But if I were to pick only one...

This song broke the defenses I had built around myself as a child, reached through to grab ahold of my desire to understand and be understood as an Autistic Egg and my inability to do that one thing, which I felt would finally, not fix me, but free me. I would at last be able to communicate a pure emotion and truly feel something for once, little did I know E would fix that for me