#lierati

[lesbilane]

jEsS sToPpEd CaRiNg AbOuT rOrY aS sOoN aS tHeY gOt ToGeThEr

read on to see why that's such a shit take :)

the first full episode we have of them as a couple is 3x08 "let the games begin" and in this episode they have their first official kiss as a couple and rory immediately leaves after with no real explanation. jess doesn't push for one, he doesn't follow her, he doesn't give her the third degree (like a certain ex would have done). if he would have known or even thought she was going to see dean, maybe his reaction would have been different, but the one we see shows that he trusts her which is a sign of care and respect

3x09 "a deep-fried korean thanksgiving" comes next and we see that jess is into pda, but rory asks him to chill out with it and he does. their next kiss is in luke's and is so chaste lorelai and the townies make fun of it, but he respected her boundaries. that's care.

3x10 "that'll do pig" oh no, a teenage boy doesn't want to go to a carnival? that's a kid being a kid, not a sign of not caring

3x14 "swan song" jess doesn't want to go to friday night dinner, but he does. he gets beaked by a swan and then gets stuck in traffic on the way there, but he still shows up (those events would have been more than enough for me to personally crash out and refuse to go anywhere), he then gets berated by rory over something that didn't even happen. by the end, he says that there will be a "next time" meaning even after he had such a shitty time, he would go through it again for her. this episode also has miss patty kidnapping rory and dean to watch her one woman show rehearsal thing and when it gets posted around town that they were there, jess calls rory to ask about it, but remains calm, never demands she stop seeing dean, he just asks for a heads up about it.

3x15 "face-off" bUt JeSs DiDnT cAlL. ok well first off it was the most noncommittal promise to call, more of a conversation ender because lorelai interrupted their super cutesy hand holding moment. and he didn't call because he was literally at work?? we know that he didn't have a cell phone and jobs tend to get pretty pissy when you make personal calls while on the clock. rory refused to communicate her feelings regarding the situation and when lorelai finally relays them to her, he immediately takes rory out on a date to see the distillers

3x17 "a tale of poes and fire" this isn't a huge literati episode, but he does go to the kims' residence to talk to rory and try to hang out with her. i don't think he would have done that if he had stopped caring about her

3x18 "happy birthday, baby" perhaps the most telling episode of him still caring because we see rory and jess plan three date nights in a row plus we get the beautiful 22.8 miles scene. idk about you, but i don't look up the distance between me and someone that i don't care about

3x19 "keg! max!" obviously this is the most sensitive jess episode in regards to his behavior (i could do a whole post just on that itself if anyone wants that), but he's at a party that he doesn't want to be at, but he's there because rory is and she wants him there. no, he doesn't tell her about everything that's going on, but he's a traumatized teen. i know plenty of full grown people who don't have nearly the trauma levels that he does that struggle to open up about things to people. and once he realizes how upset rory is with how things went in the bedroom, he tried to stop her and it seemed like he might have been willing to talk, but dean decides to assume shit and punches him in the face and starts the fight (that i still see people blame jess for??? make it make sense). also, earlier in this episode jess agrees to take rory to the stars hollow prom which shows so much growth since his initial refusal to go to the winter carnival early on in their relationship. he was willing to go just because rory wanted to go

3x20 "say goodnight, gracie" rory and jess aren't talking, but we can see how badly they both want to talk. we know that he struggles with communication, but the desire to make things right is there which he would only do if he still cared.

3x22 "those are strings, pinocchio" he keeps calling her even though he can't bring himself to say anything. if he had truly stopped caring, he wouldn't have bothered

was jess a perfect boyfriend?? no, not at all. did jess care about rory? you bet your sweet ass he did and anyone who says differently has the media literacy skills of a stop sign

[ksfd892]

Last night I was discussing with @ernestonlysayslovelythings that one of the things Gilmore Girls does really well is nuance. In terms of conflict, most characters will be a little bit right and a little bit wrong (as it tends to be in life), and yet many viewers will automatically side with one particular character. Lorelai and Rory (Rory in particular) tend to often be seen as in the wrong, and this intrigues and frustrates me. While a lot of the time they are 'in the wrong', so is the other character, and yet this is rarely acknowledged. Information which the other character has (and the audience has) is not given to Lorelai and Rory and yet they are still criticised for it (which other posts have gone into).

Emily and Paris are fan favourites and it's easy to understand why; they are funny, sarcastic and outspoken and yet also have vulnerability. Viewers will often take Emily's side in an argument with Lorelai and Paris's with Rory, which I find frustrating, because the reasoning seems to be either that Emily and Paris are 'more funny' or that Lorelai and Rory are 'annoying'. Emily and Paris are funny (Paris in particular is exaggerated as a side character) but they can also be very mean. Lorelai and Rory are not intentionally mean, generally speaking, yet a key element of Emily and Paris's characterisation is unkindness. Of course, this is largely for comedic effect (such as Emily firing maids and Paris making Brad cry), and yet Lorelai and Rory seem to be held to a higher standard. Emily and Paris can be very cruel to Lorelai and Rory (ie Emily's ongoing disgust over her daughter's romantic life or lack of and Paris bullying Rory at school) but it doesn't seem to 'count'. Viewers identify the reasons for this; such as Emily's hurt over Lorelai running away or Paris feeling intimidated by Rory, but do not extend the same understanding to Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai can be immature and shut out her parents, which is due to an unhappy childhood, and Rory sometimes wants space (which I don't personally find unreasonable), but that apparently means they're 'arrogant'.

This lack of nuance is also notable with Jess. With non-Literati shippers, many viewers write Jess off as the asshole exboyfriend who has 'exaggerated' his unhappy life with Liz and is 'ungrateful' to Luke. On the flip side, many Literati shippers take the view that Jess never does anything wrong and Luke is a total jerk. Again, there is nuance here; Jess is not infallible and, like all the characters, he is right and wrong about certain things. While there is zero evidence that Jess exaggerated anything (although some fans seem to exaggerate for him), he can be rude and perhaps seem ungrateful, but it is understandable. He acts this way because he had an unreliable mother who sent him to live in a strange town with his uncle without any say, and he lashes out because he is angry and not listened to. In S6 when Jess has grown up, he appreciates what Luke did for him, because he has the maturity to see it. Luke, for his part, did his best and also messed up because he stubbornly thought he knew what he was doing, and didn't think he needed advice. It does not negate the fact that he cared and tried his hardest. As with Lorelai and Emily, Luke and Jess are both right and both wrong with their reaction to things.

It's also interesting that within Literati shippers, the majority of people will take Jess's side in a conflict with him and Rory. Jess and Rory are flawed people (who are also very young) who manage to hurt each other deeply. Rory runs away after kissing Jess because she does not know how to handle her feelings, which Jess perceives as her thinking he isn't worth staying for and, a year later, Jess leaves town without saying goodbye, which Rory also wrongly perceives as a rejection. Neither of them intend to be cruel and yet, according to numerous Lit shippers, Jess was hurting and Rory 'couldn't see it'. Of course she couldn't see it - Jess never communicated to her that he was in trouble at high school and had to drop out, or that his father showed up, or anything else going on with him. She could see something was wrong but couldn't help him. Likewise, Rory never communicated to Jess that she was feeling mixed up about being with Dean and later with Logan, but somehow this understanding isn't extended to Rory. Jess and Rory are both fallible and are both written with excellent nuance.

One of the best things about Gilmore Girls is how well it reflects growing up and our relationships in real life. Situations are rarely binary and, as we mature, we can often look at conflict more objectively and see 'the other side'. Lorelai and Rory, along with most of the characters they interact with, are written with depth. When they mess up or miscommunicate, it doesn't mean they 'wrong' or not worth caring about - it means they have something to learn from. They are funny, frustrating, vulnerable and have moments of clarity, just as with real people.

[advrseeventsseasonone]

Chaos. Everything is complete chaos.

But at the end of the day, you know you gave it your best.

You made your best to make the world at least a little bit better for someone.

Maybe it worked. Maybe it didn’t.

At the end of the day all you’re gonna have is the fact that you tried.