I have some thoughts to add to discussions around Malcolm and Dani in the latest episode. So, basically the entire episode Dani is trying to give Malcolm the opportunity to talk about and release his thoughts/emotions towards the situation with his dad. “Your dad might die right?”. A key word here, is dad. She sets aside the fact that Dr. Whitly is a serial killer, and acknowledges that this is Malcolm’s father, who a part of Malcolm still desires to be loved by. Losing a family member, no matter who they are or what they’ve done, is not easy. Plus Malcolm has the additional guilt of being the one who stabbed Martin and is letting Jessica take the blame. So, Dani is reaching out and giving Malcolm the permission to be upset. (I love Dani for this by the way). In doing this however, Malcolm responds poorly, which in turn hurts Dani who is trying her best to be there for Malcolm and supportive. She is opening herself up to Malcolm, extending trust, and he lashes out in turn. Anyways, point being, Dani extends friendship and Malcolm is not ready to receive it.
Now let’s look at Malcolm’s point of view in this situation. He is feeling guilt over the whole situation with Martin (having stabbed him and Jessica taking the fall), his father has given him responsibility (power of attorney) that is further weighing on him, and on top of it all the part of him that is still a child most likely fears losing his father. He probably hates that there is a part of him that doesn’t want his father to die solely because he is his father. Which is why I think when Dani mentions that his dad might die, he responds with “my serial killer father”, I think more reminding himself than Dani. He doesn’t want to be upset about it, but he is. So he tries and rationalizes why he shouldn’t care. In shutting off his emotions on the situation, he hurts Dani because he can’t accept the support she is offering him. Probably doesn’t think he deserves it.
I think part of the issue here, is timing and communication. Malcolm is processing everything internally and needs time to do that. Dani is premature in reaching out to him. Which comes to my point about communication. Dani is most likely operating out of the perspective of what she would want if she was in the same situation. Someone to talk to and be there for her. So she tries to do this for Malcolm. What does Malcolm need in this moment though? He is not ready to acknowledge his feelings, how is he going to speak about them? He is in distress and responds by lashing out at Dani. He isn’t angry at Dani necessarily, but she is probing an open wound and it hurts. So he attacks. This results in hurt on all sides. Luckily, by the end of the episode Malcolm is able to process his feelings/thoughts a bit and apologize to/thank Dani for everything she has been doing for him.
Why am I talking about this? I don’t really know. I just like to point out the fact that Malcolm and Dani are human and are far from perfect, but are both doing their best despite the circumstances. Dani maybe could’ve not pushed so much for Malcolm to open up, and Malcolm could’ve responded gentler to her prodding.
I was also thinking about this program called “Life Languages” which is kind of like a personality test, but talks about communication styles of sorts. Explaining all of that would be a lot though, but I will say that based off what I think Malcolm and Dani’s top Life Languages are, I understand their actions. And I hope as they get to know each other better, they’ll be better at communicating/understanding each other.
